It should go without saying that almost every choice we make involves tradeoffs. The consequences of such choices are almost always directly related to the nature of those tradeoffs, the quality of the planning, or the effectiveness of execution. Most military, business, political, and sports-related strategist understand this, which is why so much energy is spent on planning and strategy development at the top level, and training for optimal performance on the front lines. This is a very basic set of concepts that are widely known and used throughout the world. Unfortunately, the broader population has not read this memo.

In the dating or relationship marketplace, these concepts are no less valid. In fact, individual life-choices are subject to the very same planning and execution dynamics as any business. Choices matter – a LOT.

When an attractive woman decides to devote her younger years to a modeling career, she is not only making a career choice, she is making a life decision. And that decision comes with tradeoffs – some would call this “opportunity costs”. Some of the benefits of such a life are glamour, travel, money, attention, and perhaps even adulation to name several. Some costs include stalkers, haters, criticism, and very strict diet and exercise demands, to name several. Either way, there are tradeoffs. But there are also opportunity costs that are not often discussed. Like family, for example.

A woman or man who pursues a glamorous lifestyle in their younger years is almost surely giving up the possibility of ever having a wholesome long term relationship. Yes, there are examples of exceptions – but the exceptions do not negate the rule. There are many reasons for this and a few key factors, but most experienced adults understand why this is true.
Any man who puts his relationship and family before his career is likely giving up financial success – and perhaps even his family in the long run. Again, there are many reasons for this, but the average experienced adult understands that men are still expected to be providers – at least the primary provider. We also understand that women instinctively prefer a man who has more career success than she. So attending primarily to one’s family as a young man is a tradeoff, the (pro and con) consequences of which do not manifest until later in life.

Likewise, any woman who invests her early years in a career is making a series tradeoffs. A woman who’s sole focus is to become an accountant, must work very hard to be successful in that field. The time that she gives to her career, studies, CPA exam, overtime, etc., is time that she cannot give to her family. That is the opportunity cost; the tradeoff for the career. This too has consequences, which are relatively easy to understand. Many successful women do recognize this and own those tradeoffs.

What we see posted on these subs, day in and day out, are thousands of examples of women who do not understand these dynamics. Almost all of these women invest in a particular strategy, and they enjoy the benefits – more often than not they are short0-term positive benefits. But when the negative consequences of her choices come to bear, they attempt to offload them on the public. Much like an investment bank (or hedge fund) that makes billions by taking huge speculative risks, but then seeks a bailout when those strategies lose, the benefits are accrued by the risk taker, and the public is left with the costs.

When a man takes a calculated risk, he usually knows the potential outcomes and attempts to mitigate them in some way. He can more tightly control certain aspects of the implementation so as to minimize risk. Again, this is one of the most basic of all concepts in planning and strategy. But we are seeing less and less of this in the real world.

When a person chooses to borrow tens of thousands of dollars to pay for college, they must know that the benefit comes soon – a college degree. They must also know that the consequence is a debt that must be repaid. And like many college grads who borrowed heavily for worthless degrees, women in today’s RMP are complaining. They are disillusioned by what they perceived as the tradeoffs. They appear to be angry that no one told them that being promiscuous in your younger years would preclude them from Long-Term relationships with most high quality men in the future. For some reason, this realization infuriates them.

And rather than step back to reflect mindfully on the nature of those choices, and attempt to take responsibility for those actions – perhaps the only possibility they may have at redemption – they double down. This virtually ensures that they will wind up losing even more than they already have.

Pursuing any give path is a very personal choice. We all do this, either deliberately, or by not making a choice at all (Neil Peart’s “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice” lyric comes to mind). But it is exceedingly rare to pursue a path, and then simply “hop off” that track later in life. Once cannot easily avoid the consequences of a lifetime of decisions. Unlike committing a single crime, in which there is a slight chance of avoiding being caught, a twenty year choice of career or partying or travel or whatever changes a person. It sets up in us certain expectations and habits in the ways in which we engage with the world, and each other. As has been said before, promiscuity is not a “phase” that you “get out of your system; it is a habit that you bake INTO your system. Similarly, a lifestyle of a fashion model comes with habits and expectations that stick with a person. And those habits and expectation in turn have their own set of tradeoffs and consequences. There is no escaping this.

So whenever we see a woman here complaining about not finding a good many, consider the following:

  1. Some of her issues are a consequence of her upbringing and environment. This cannot be denied or ignored.
  2. If she is over 18 years old, however, she should know better. Everything she does past that point is a consequence of her own choices and decisions, which cannot be blamed on upbringing.
  3. She likely had many chances early in her journey to get off that track.
  4. She has gained many benefits from those choices.
  5. She is attempting to offload the negative consequences of her choices; much like a student who borrowed $100k for a bachelors degree and is now asking for loan forgiveness or public assistance.

To the extent possible, be sure to explain this to your children and any young people you encounter. Make sure they understand some of the pros and cons, short-term and long-term, of such life choices. And above all, do NOT vote for, or support, any measures that bail out people for making such decisions.

It is egregiously unethical to force others to pay for your choices, without redounding to them at least some of the benefits.

Edit: Typo.