Is there any reason for a man to get married in today's society?

fiat_lux_ · 2015-08-20T22:12:38+00:00

faith
family
- parental pressure
- model for siblings
- grandparents dying
citizenship
socioeconomic status
culture
tax (lol, terrible reason, but there are tiny marginal benefits for some people)

livingthedreamnow · 2015-08-20T20:55:21+00:00

is there any reason for your average Joe to get married in today's society?

ANY reason? Sure, based on the individual. Faith, and family tend to be the two most cited "reasons". For me as an individual, absolutely no reason at all.

It used to be that the most accomplished folks were the ones drawn to marriage as a statement of status, but I just don't think that makes any sense these days, and I think it's really the lower income levels that still receive some tangible benefit from marriage.

For instance, I'm very much professionally successful. I have lots of resources, and flexibility in my life. A woman can't contribute very much to my life trajectory. Any financial contribution she makes is a token gesture, as I don't have a need for it. Domestic contributions, well it's hard to find a woman willing to do much on this front these days, so I hire that job out (it's easier, and gets done much better). So basically that leaves sex as her contribution. That's nice, but it's not exactly a precious resource these days.

Now compare that to a couple that make roughly $50K each per year. By combining those into $100K per year, there is the real possibility that a marriage can bring some mutual benefit, by providing much greater purchasing power, with reduced tax liability. That kind of relative increase can really impact the quality of life that you live. Sure, you still have the risk of losing half of your combined shit, but hell, if she's bringing 50% of the shit to the table, then it makes sense.

In my situation though, I feel like i'd have to go full retard to marry again.

TheChemist158 · 2015-08-20T20:53:48+00:00

Marriage isn't inherently good or bad. It could serve to fulfill some common life goals. Family men have an image of being more responsible and noble then their bachelor counterparts. Having that kind of committed relationship is a lot better for raising kids, joining assets, and gives some legal and financial benefits. Plus, a lot of men simply like the thought of a wife. Settling down and giving yourself to a woman is often viewed as an important milestone.

betterdeadthanbeta · 2015-08-20T21:20:28+00:00

It's definitely not as sweet of a deal as men used to get, but it's still a solid move if you can find the right woman.

Right woman: - does not have serious emotional or psychological issues/baggage - contributes her fair share - goals and principles align with yours - attracted to you and vice Versa

Problem is men over or underestimate the difficulty of finding a woman like this. If you overestimate you lose faith in marriage ebtirely, if you underestimate you end up marrying a former party girl and lose faith in marriage entirely.

Look at past behavior as an indicator of future behavior.

nemma88 · 2015-08-20T20:57:51+00:00

There's no inherit reason for anyone to get married unless you want to be a SAHP(Which there are, increasingly on the male side) , then it's in your best interests to protect yourself. Many places common law may do anyway.

sibeliushelp · 2015-08-20T21:02:13+00:00

There isn't anything a man can obtain during marriage, that he could not obtain by cohabitation.

For women, they get the security of knowing that when they get pregnant, they can quit working and their hubby will take care of them.

It's also nice for women to be assured that if things don't work out, she is legally entitled to take half of the assets out of the marriage, even if she didn't contribute anything to attaining those assets.

For women, marriage is a boon. For guys, it's a huge risk.

[deleted] · 2015-08-20T21:21:21+00:00

Yes, get married if and only if ALL of the following are true:

(1) you are religious and your religion allows sex only in the confines of marriage;

(2) you are able to find a woman who is the best possible one you can get and who shares the same religious beliefs as you; and

(3) the two of you intend to have children together.

Marry if and only if you are able to find the best possible woman with the lowest risk of her leaving/cheating/going Eat Pray Love. You cannot eliminate the risk, but it can be reduced and managed.

Otherwise, don't marry.

[deleted] · 2015-08-20T21:55:02+00:00

Marriage is a contract with the state that puts you at risk financially and offers very few benefits. So no.

MissPearl · 2015-08-20T23:09:50+00:00

Co-habbing is getting married where I live, minus a few benefits/responsibilities. Marriage is that thing you do where you feel like throwing a party for family and friends.

Or to expand on that, do you know anyone you want to invite to a wedding? Do you have a tribe that cares about any family you make?

blametheboogie · 2015-08-21T00:45:04+00:00

If you're in prison it's the only way you can get those sweet sweet conjugal visits.

If you're a gold digger it's the only way you can get the half you "earned " by sleeping with a homely but wealthy woman.

If your career demands that you seem straight but are secretly gay. There are a few celebrities that come to mind.

Ghost_Hound · 2015-08-21T07:07:20+00:00

People have already made a bunch of good points here so I will not repeat them but I'll instead bring up something I discussed recently with a coworker.

I work a relatively low-tier night shift job with a bunch of older, retired guys. I'm 27 so the age gap is significant. I'm often asked why I'm not married and how I'm not impossibly lonely all the time. I try to explain that the internet is a thing, my guitars are a thing and the money I save by living a minimalistic lifestyle and having under the table side hustles is more than enough for me to travel and do fun shit.

I suggest that if you like your single lifestyle and you are smart with money getting married might just be the one thing that could throw a wrench into all of that (besides having kids of course). There's a lot of adventure to be had on one's own terms even if one doesn't make much money if one simply never marries or has kids. It is a lifestyle ruiner in a lot of ways.

Purpuru · 2015-08-20T20:44:16+00:00

Religion.

Citizenship.

Status is still a valid reason, even if less and less applicable these days.

VirgoRooster · 2015-08-20T22:49:18+00:00

The concept of marriage as it existed throughout history, for the purpose of strengthening bonds between clans and creating familial units from them has largely been destroyed by stateism, not to say the former purpose has been relevant for the past 100 years.

Nowadays people get married with no intention of having kids, they get married to the same sex, they elope, they marry people with the intent to scorn their immediate family members, and they marry, divorce, then remarry the same person, they get married overnight in Vegas etc. It's a fascinating circus and I really don't understand

Honestly, I feel like it's become an excuse to throw a party. lol

I would consider getting married for the tax break and if it made my potential wife/family feel more comfortable about our relationship if prenup was airtight and/or the alimony and child support laws were updated for the 21st century.

I think more and more you'll see people in LTRs having children without getting married.

Purpuru · 2015-08-20T20:56:12+00:00

id say if you want kids, marriage is a stable environment to raise kids, where they have a mother and father living under one roof

jkonrad · 2015-08-20T21:31:20+00:00

What does society have to do with you? Live your own life and conduct your relationships however you want.

TRPThrowRug · 2015-08-20T21:40:25+00:00

The chances of getting custody if you separate while unmarried is depressingly low.

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/free-books/living-together-book/chapter10-9.html

grendalor · 2015-08-20T21:52:43+00:00

Religion -- it's the only reason I'm getting married again. Otherwise, I would just do unmarried LTRs.

[deleted] · 2015-08-20T23:52:33+00:00

It seems largely a matter of personal or religious preference, there are some financial advantages for some people, but for a lot of people it's not the best option.

[deleted] · 2015-08-20T21:15:37+00:00

In my opinion no . You can have relationships and kids (if that's what you want) without getting married .

Marriage does have some legal benefits though , in the US at least.

Title	Is there any reason for a man to get married in today's society?
Author	Tom_The_Human
Upvotes	1
Comments	31
Date	August 20, 2015 8:30 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3hrhrx/is_there_any_reason_for_a_man_to_get_married_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-there-any-reason-for-a-man-to-get-married-in.280178 https://theredarchive.com/post/280178