No matter how much she wants you to "open up", she WILL use your sensitivities against you.

universalmonologist · 2020-10-03T19:04:34+00:00

I think that most men who have traumatic experiences etc. benefit greatly from talking about them. It’s only that the person should be your parent, sibling, closest friend or a therapist. I often find myself wanting to talk about things that could hurt my reputation to people I don’t know that well. People talk, even though they might not be malevolent they can for example get drunk and accidentally share sensitive information with others. That’s why you should be very careful about your words and remember who you’re talking with.

submit3r · 2020-10-03T20:08:24+00:00

Always be “business professional” around women.

Obediah_Stane · 2020-10-03T20:11:36+00:00

Never talk to women about your problems. Talk to your bros.

Jay-G · 2020-10-03T21:32:39+00:00

She doesn’t love the true you, she loves the idea of you. Dealing with women is all about selling yourself. That’s why trp makes so many analogies towards transactions “selling yourself” “sexual market place” “sexual market value”. Just like a car salesman points out all the great things about a new; 0-60 in 3.5 seconds, 26 mpg, etc they don’t mention the maintenance of the vehicle until after you’ve signed on the line; don’t forget about changing the oil every 3-5k miles, it’s fast but it eats tires, etc. As men it’s our job to keep the idea of what women love about us. Women want to be with a big strong, stoic, and successful man. They don’t want to know about all the countless hours in the gym sweating and panting, or the overtime hours spent at the office working towards a promotion. They’re children, they want the good and forget the bad. Market yourself accordingly.

ToraChan23 · 2020-10-04T03:08:09+00:00

“Open up” = “Give me something I can use to quiet my insecurities and use against you”

kalisto3010 · 2020-10-03T20:59:04+00:00

This 100% - especially for the younger Red-Pillers. Picture the actions of your Woman trying to break you down and get you to "open-up" as a game and by you capitulating is analogous to losing the Boss Battle at the final level. Her tear ridden plea's are not genuine - no matter how much she cries, pleads, and begs you to do so it's just a game to her; And there you are, thinking that you're doing the right thing by capitulating then decide to "open-up" and demonstrate a modicum of sensitivity to appease her; Almost immediately after her attitude will change, her pussy will dry up that's because you failed Her test. A Woman isn't happy unless she's utterly miserable. She will find you boring unless she's chasing something, and what she's chasing is a stoic, grounded unmovable Man who doesn't elicit feminine emotions that coincides with "opening-up". If you want to divulge those emotions - that's what your Mother or Sisters are for not your Lovers.

-ThePathIsTheGoal- · 2020-10-04T08:46:17+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree that men should not talk about their problems to women. It’s not needed, it’s not necessary, it doesn’t help nor add anything positive. It can indeed make her lose respect for you, BUT

That’s only if you care. And here is where I believe you must go beyond just the standard “don’t open to women whatsoever” advice.

You can do whatever you want if you don’t care. Open up, stay stoic, either way, the women will still subconsciously be aware of your no fucks given attitude about whether she stays or goes. If you do indeed genuinely possess this indifference and very rare state of abundance, she will suck you at any moments notice. She ain’t going anywhere. This is the ultimate paradox when it comes to women.

That being said, women don’t want to solve your problems, hire a therapist with testicles.

LilSick24 · 2020-10-03T21:37:29+00:00

Never reveal what’s behind the curtain

hiktaka · 2020-10-03T23:26:02+00:00

[deleted]

LotBuilder · 2020-10-03T22:23:06+00:00

100% true and they will talk to the next guy about your weakest moments. Girls do that shit all the time with me as some sort of excuse to be cheating on him or dumping him. They try to tear them down to justify their actions. Tell them very little and show no weakness. Maybe have a tender moment over a pet or a niece or nephew so they don’t think you are a sociopath but never any real pain.

bigbentower · 2020-10-04T18:23:47+00:00

Someone please tell me women aren't actually like this.....This post honestly made me loose all hope in trying to look for a partner, like what's the point? How can u trust, and love a lady if who you know that she'd lose all the love and respect she had for u if u slip up, and then onto the next guy! I completely understand that showing weak emotions is a bad thing for both sides, it is understandbly a turnoff. like don't cry and whine for small things. But it's not fair that women are allowed to show human emotions when necessary when we cant.

I am a guy and turning 20 soon, all my life all I've wanted to do was to love someone and recieve the same; pure love, loving me for who I am, not for what I'm doing or what wealth I'll have . I always wanted to know what it felt like, ever since I was 10 I've had a distant relationship with my family due to being the only boy and a harsh upbringing with way too many expectations, I don't even know what affection is, idk what love feels like. With what OP mentioned, I don't think I could ever love someone because I can never truly love someone if I can't be myself and that they'd turn their back on me if I ever experienced human emotions. I just feel like I would be used in a relationship, like just be the man, provide, make money and treat her well and make sure she's always happy without anyone caring how I feel

I've always wanted a family; one that I've never had. I want to experience what family life is like. I want to be happy with her and her to be genuinely happy with me. I want her to understand that we too can have bad and traumatic upbringings, and that sometimes we want to let it out. I completely understand the "being someone's emotional dumpster" idea. But that should go both ways, no one wants to deal with another person's emotion to the full extent, yea I'll be there to comfort and help, but no one really wants it. You do it out of love, and if she can't do that, does she really love me?

Sorry for the long reply, but if someone out there can tell me what I'm thinking is wrong and that it won't be as bad as I think, and possibly what it's actually like? Cause if so, I see why many men commit suicide, they don't have an outlet, they feel like they are being used and only loved under certain conditions.

Lamecobra · 2020-10-03T22:51:06+00:00

If opening up to a woman & showing a woman your weaknesses always inevitably leads to dissilusionment & loss of attraction, why do you guys suppose women work so hard to get there?

If you're familiar with Ogi Ogas' "A billion wicked thoughts, that study shows that women's No.1 sexual fantasy is precisely that, taking a dominant, individualistic, reserved-type alpha & helping him get in touch with his emotions, learning about his sensitive side, etc.

Let's assume that the aforementioned premise is true, how would we interpret that? Is this like an ultimate shit test, or perhaps a way to achieve power over males, the inherently more dominant & powerful sex (i.e a retaliation of sorts)?

Xxx-Lou-xxX · 2020-10-03T21:32:07+00:00

No matter how many times, i hear the “open up” sentence, deep inside automatically i shutdown even more. I haven’t in my life opened up to a woman even before TRP. They communicate in one direction.

Dls95405 · 2020-10-04T00:35:18+00:00

Save all that trauma for a good therapist. They will give you what you need in response. Your woman never will. She will just traumatize you further.

HangTheGods · 2020-10-03T20:18:59+00:00

It's not your fault

This is the worst thing you can say to a woman since it makes you look like a powerless victim. Obviously, you were a powerless victim if terrible things happened in childhood, but as harsh as it sounds it'll always be a massive turn-off that it happened at all.

Schhwing · 2020-10-04T05:26:38+00:00

A female will push and prod you in your weak spots. How you respond is how she will judge you as a man.

theguytheguy1000 · 2020-10-04T15:08:28+00:00

the way i see it, you can say what you want to women.

the problem arises when you emotionally lean on her.

i'll happily tell a woman all my insecurities, cos I honestly couldn't give less of a fuck about her opinion on it. I'm an open book, cos if you don't like me you can leave.

you can say or do what you want, but when you start leaning on her for emotional support, that's when you're fucked but frankly I only have a few people i can really lean on for emotional support in my life anyway and they are my closest friends. I really don't expect anyone else to understand or try and lift me up to be honest, and if they weren't around then i'd have to figure it out myself but fuck it, such is life.

Expecting other people to get your problems is a fools errand, you got very few people in your life who will ever really get it and be willing to try and help. Even your best friends can only do so much. so just by virtue of them having a vagina you can already count out women for being one of those people.

Sake99 · 2020-10-04T01:31:01+00:00

It is your fault; why don't you have guy friends for that? I feel much better in opening up to my guy friends than my gf.

Shankhoneel · 2020-10-04T13:09:51+00:00

I have an antidote for this. Reveal your emotions, and then promptly withdraw your attention for a day or two.

Benefits: 1. You get to contemplate about life; contemplation makes you a better and richer human than 'talking it out' does. 2. Her instant disgust for you shall be replaced by a suspicion that you have gone to the arms of 'another lover' (however temporarily), who 'accepts you more'.

Thus, you get the best of both worlds. Next time you see your girl, just wordlessly pump the crap outta her. Both you and she end up happier.

i-reddit-ck · 2020-10-04T17:27:51+00:00

The more I’m growing up, the quicker I’m realizing this. Not just with women but EVERYONE and ANYONE. They will use whatever you’ve spilled against you. Maybe not directly but also indirectly. They can gauge you from what you say and treat you in regards to said things. Therefore I’ve realized I need to STFU. Speaking less is always more. Everyone loves talking about themselves true, but being mentally prepared and watching your tongue is key in a social environment.

RedEyeBlackEye1 · 2020-10-04T21:59:38+00:00

Facts! Even if you're literally Superman,piss Lois off and she may just give lex Luther the kryptonite to kill you with.

red-reality · 2020-10-05T22:30:21+00:00

Very good.

I would however encourage guys who are vetting a girl for an ltr to see where this line is for her. Test the waters. Share a bit of yourself, just a bit and see her reaction.

More decent women will be more understanding, but all will have a line, where if you cross it, you're going to be a sex-less sad sap.

Either way, find out where it is, and never cross it again.

Balderdash79 · 2020-10-04T01:50:43+00:00

A woman wants to tame a lion and make it into a pet tomcat.

Most women have their pet tomcat's balls snipped.

2 balls minus 2 balls equals 0 balls.

ToraChan23 · 2020-10-04T01:50:54+00:00

[deleted]

Mouse1701 · 2020-10-04T02:17:25+00:00

As much as I hate to say this it feels like I'm being dishonest with even myself if I'm not sharing my sensitivities with the woman I'm with. I know its totally counterintuitive to do it. Here is some honest to goodness facts and I mean real facts every man I have met or known in my life has failed in life. Every single one. We all have failures including myself. I absolutely guarantee this. Name me a C.E.O. a politician or a billionaire or even a Hollywood celebrity. I guarantee I will find atleast one that had gone through a break up a divorce or a financial difficulty gone bankrupt. had their children taken from them. Gone through drug and alcohol addiction. Lost bodyparts due to being on a job or in war like a soldier or police officer.or perhaps been in a car wreck and lost a arm or leg.Been falsely accused of rape or being a woman beater. Woman are the worst deceivers on the face of this planet. I hate trying to figure out actually what a woman is thinking or even feeling. Cause half the time I actually dont know. As I have gotten older I realized I have gotten better at reading women and people in general but it doesn't help when women over exaggerate the fact that you never do such and such. Also woman de emphasize things and say stuff like ohh he really didn't hurt me that bad it's only a small wound. Woman are excellent liars and almost about as useful as a framed painting. It should be nailed to a wall and is nice to look at but what are they really do that's really useful.

BigBoiBahmani · 2020-10-04T04:52:07+00:00

It is true. Only confide with your rp bros, or if God blessed you, then with your wise father. Nowhere else.

Ashley_Titor · 2020-10-04T08:04:27+00:00

Better yet, random people over the internet who don't know you and won't ever meet you again, just don't drop identifiable information and remember opsec

Bitr0t · 2020-10-04T13:07:04+00:00

I’ve experienced this first hand. Do not discuss your problems because in an argument she will bring it up to belittle you. Do not bring up any hopes and dreams with her because in an angry tirade, she will mention it to make you appear to be a fuckup who cannot execute or make things happen.

Keep it to yourself. As others have stated, see a (male) therapist If you need to vent.

trplurker · 2020-10-04T14:09:28+00:00

Deep down, even the most redpilled men have a purple-tainted heart and want to be loved for who they really are inside, so sadly even the most vigilant man can be caught off guard.

So true but there is a remedy, male friends.

Sharing emotions and weakness's is something we do with close friends only. Women can never be a close friend.

That desire we have to share weakness's and be loved is something we reserve for the male friends we made over a lifetime of experience. Unfortunately most of the men here don't have such friends, society and feminism has conditioned them away from such toxic masculine relationships.

tb151 · 2020-10-04T14:22:10+00:00

This needs to be read and understood. Since my divorce and eyes opening, every single girl I date tries their damnedest to have me open up and be vulnerable. It's in their DNA, programmed. They will literally say it, beg me to. I was married to a malignant covert narcissist, you can bet that anything I said was used against me. Never again. It gets comical after a while, watching these girls try everything in their power. It can be as simple as asking you about a movie that made you cry.. Don't answer that. You can bet your ass they will put it on.

xX420JUICYSYNAPSEX69 · 2020-10-04T18:20:33+00:00

i’m sure there are girl out there who will. but honestly this has never been my experience

Dudewheresmymoto1 · 2020-10-04T21:00:02+00:00

Its like riding a motorcycle. If you reveal your weaknesses or insecurities, youve crashed.

Bjarne_Rist · 2020-10-05T11:35:34+00:00

The important part is: talking to women does not give you what you want to achieve by sharing.

You want to feel better about yourself. And you feel better by being heard by someone who does not tell it to others. By being told

that you are okay even if that happened to you what happened to you.
That you are safe.
That it won't happen again.
And that there are people who support you.

It seems seductive to tell a woman about all that. But in reality, this will happen:

She will signal you, that you are not okay but tell you, you were, because her feelings deteriorate.
She needs someone to make HER feel safe. If you ask for her to provide you shelter, she will make you feel that you are desired less. Always pay attention to how you feel, not what she says.
She knows that it will happen again, thinks about her future and dismisses you as quickly as she can.
There might be people to support you, but it will not be her.

When my girlfriend and I split, I couldn't get another one, which was why I tried to get her back for her to "lick my wounds". Then I noticed that and got back into the game.

Free11235 · 2020-10-07T18:34:11+00:00

Is there such a thing as being in a loving relationship when your red pill aware? I feel like for those like us that are aware of female nature, it’s damn near impossible to ever trust a girl again

readrat35 · 2020-10-07T22:12:40+00:00

I learned this the hard way. Had been dating an LTR for about 7 months, everything was going well, we had never argued or anything. One night I open up a little bit about what makes me tick. She immediately became cold towards me, and not two days later she breaks up with me because she "didn't like who I really was." Held frame and everything, blocked her etc. Still hurt like a bitch knowing that months of commitment was thrown down the drain over half an hour of pillow talk.

ExtremePeak · 2020-10-09T00:40:07+00:00

I cried to my now gf while drink about my grandpa who had died a few months ago, then she told me she loved and have been together a year and a half now. Thoughts?

no_regret20 · 2020-10-04T06:37:40+00:00

Just don’t tell her shit, keep it your way, treat her like your little slut, tease the shit out of her, when you’re not fucking her just be fucking dominant, use her for entertainment. If she complains about you being so distant/arrogant/insensitive and all that crap, just laugh about it and keep being the boss, she would talk shit/complain and criticize you with her girlfriends but still she’ll open her legs for you.

Be sensitive towards her, open your heart, tell her your problems, show her your vulnerable side and she will connect with you 100% while sucking other guy’s cock behind your back , HA!

wannaseeawheelie · 2020-10-03T21:20:04+00:00

I ride Supermoto, gear is for pussies. NGATT

sadomasochrist · 2020-10-03T20:30:40+00:00

Good observation, poor post. If this was well written I'd have pointed you. Consider expanding it.

Kirrawynne · 2020-10-03T23:37:06+00:00

This is one of the saddest things I’ve heard. If you have chosen a good partner, a woman you’ve vetted and deemed high quality, there is no reason why you can’t be vulnerable. It’s a turn on when guys feel safe enough to open up to you; at least it is to me. Like they think you are a human being with feelings and you’re not putting up a facade to be this unwavering robot of a person that won’t let anyone get close to you. Not only are you doing yourself a disservice by not allowing yourself to be an actual human being, you’re lying to your partner by not showing her who you really are. High quality women will support you and help you and not infantilize you. Trying to be a person who is always unemotional is a turn off. Women want a deep connection with the person they want a lasting relationship with.

I hope you’re able to understand this and find that high quality woman that will add value to your life. She’s out there but if you’re out there just trying to get laid, I have doubts you’re going to find her that way. I wish you the best of luck.

Title	No matter how much she wants you to "open up", she WILL use your sensitivities against you.
Author	BladeRunner2098
Upvotes	817
Comments	116
Date	03 October 2020 06:51 PM UTC (3 weeks ago)
Subreddit	TheRedPill
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/280386
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/j4kii5/no_matter_how_much_she_wants_you_to_open_up_she/

No matter how much she wants you to "open up", she WILL use your sensitivities against you.

The Story of Mike

Always remember. Keep calm and don't give a fuck.

Hypergamy And The Feminine Imperative As It Stands In The Social Construct