Cross-posting this from AskTRP as was advised this would be a better forum. So this is very similar to what I posted over there.
I'm a lurker, have read the side-bar but still internalizing it. There is a lot to digest.
I'm not going to write a long-ass paragraph, so I'll summarize.
Married 10 years (early 40's), no kids. Wife is kind, supportive, caring, pretty... but I'm no longer sexually attracted to her. Its probably the cliched "I love her but am not in love with her" schtick... though mentioning 'love' here is probably frowned upon. There was attraction at the start, but it just faded regardless of what I tried. I find it hard to keep it up during.
My testosterone is fine, I'm horny as fuck - just not for her - even though she is pretty. I guess we've been together 'too long' (for me at least). There are women in work that I have rock hard erections for, but don't intend to act on it. I say this more as an indication that I absolutely want to fuck other women. Watch porn/fap every few days to release the pressure.
She is still very much into me. This crushes me (beta right...) and the thought of leaving crushes me because it will crush her. Clearly I'm emotional about this so need some 3rd party unbiased,clinical and amoral advice (and a kick up the ass). My head and my dick say leave, but my emotions are all "don't crush her bro, she's a great person".
Will continue to read the side-bar of course.
EDIT: I mentioned this a few times below so will put it here. After considering my thoughts some more, the truth is that I've made the decision to leave and the guilt is killing me. I've read the Dark Triad theory and it says that, for example, that psychopathy is beyond our control. The level to which you can be is hard-wired and the only thing you can do is simulate it and live with the consequences. I am an overly empathetic guy, so the question is - can someone point me to some material whereby I can learn to deal with this emotional bullshit.
UPDATE: I've left her last night. I realised that whatever guilt I have will pass and I'm feeding my ego to think she won't move on and that its selfish at best to continue to drag it out. I'll give myself some time to process my thoughts and emotions, throw myself some more into my business. Continue to read the material.
Also, some of ya'll seem to love the word faggot. You need to come out of the closet and let the anger go, you've swallowed the red pill but seem to long to swallow something else. Some serious insecurity goin' on.
For those that gave genuine advice/guidance - I appreciate it! Best of luck on your mission. As I read and apply more, I will try and contribute.