How do you get out of your own head?

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September 28, 2019

I’m a massive over thinker.

I get stuck in my own head a lot.

I have experienced being “in state” before and that’s just truly IDGAF mode for me.

But the next day or the usual day, I just get in my own head again. This includes caring too much what people think, holding myself back from truly expressing myself, being overly self-conscious etc...

Post Information
Title How do you get out of your own head?
Author polarizingpotato
Upvotes 115
Comments 35
Date 28 September 2019 05:40 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
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[–][deleted] 132 points133 points  (6 children) | Copy

Spotlight effect

You think the world revolves around you and all eyes are on you

Know that no one will notice you and if they do it will only affect them for a while before they go back to their own stuff

Being aware of this fallacy helped me overcome this problem you had

[–]Additional_Barca_FC16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great way to put it. Since accepting this, I’ve had zero social anxiety

[–]MR_SKINNYPENIS6915 points16 points  (4 children) | Copy


Someone pointed out to me that my constant fear that everyone is looking at me or judging me is a form of severe narcissism, thinking I'm the centre of the universe. Realising that helped me get over it, because it made me feel dumb.

[–]UniversalFapture7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Holy shit that was an eye opener

[–]MR_SKINNYPENIS693 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

It was a real epiphany for me too. Really helped me realise how much of an idiot I was being and helped me relax a lot more in public.

[–]UniversalFapture2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah im thankful to that EC that explained it to me its the handbrake that when released destroyed my approach anxiety

[–]Copypastable75 points76 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're at the beginning stage where you recognize there's a problem. Control your fear, or it will control you. Think of fear as you shit testing yourself. Keep passing those tests to get what you want.

[–]adomuzas20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

Meditation, self-hypnosis. Check out MichaelSealey on youtube, he has some good hypnosis for your problem

[–]PB00340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t believe in hypnosis at all, but I’ll give it a try.

[–]MotiMorphosys19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

Take more action.

I suffer from over-analyzing things myself, and what tends to get me out of this trap is surrounding myself with people who are big DO-ers and setting goals for myself that involve doing things. Then I have less time to stay in my head.

[–]epushepepu4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes this helps. Being so busy that you don’t have time to really over analyze

[–]PolesWithGoals14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

I just stopped caring about everything at my university after I realized that 99% of the people here are shitstains who don’t give a shit about me

[–]holzpuppet8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bruv take a look at Miracle Mornings. Practice them for 1-2 months. Thank me later :)

[–]TheDopestPope7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

For me, working out hard, cutting back on caffeine.

[–]_thechinaman_5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This notion "truly expressing myself" is kind of gay and I think needs to be done out with. There is no self to truly express. Our notion of self is not some essentiality we have lost sight of, but an arbitrarily established continuity we refuse to let go of. Anyways, besides discarding this essentialist notion beyond its practicality, lift heavy weights, become big, smart, and you will realize people are fucking stupid and their opinions are to be disregarded in the first place unless they prove to be worth listening to as by your judgement but not apriori.

[–]anxietyriddledbuddah2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy

Drop 5g of mushies

[–]_thechinaman_0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

You did this? Explain please. Am down

[–]anxietyriddledbuddah4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

You've read trip reports? This shit is life changing. People have reported change 10 fold. I'm nit sure about lsd, but dmt, mushies etc. Theres a reason the gov. Illegalizes it. It tears down the fabric in which they sow their power.

Not to say I havent had amazing experience w meditation.

Psycs r a shortcut bro

[–]_thechinaman_0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Well then mushrooms or not mushrooms?

[–]anxietyriddledbuddah0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Bro... Why are taking advice from a drunk 20 yr old.

Research, experiment, experience

It's entirely up 2 u.

[–]_thechinaman_0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah yeah drunko

[–]anxietyriddledbuddah2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whatevs chink

[–]failed_singingcareer0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah shrooms will definitely do the trick. Know what you're doing, but after my 2g-ish shroom trip, i have absolutely no notion of fear/approach anxiety, any type of anxiety whatsoever, it just vanished from my consciousness. i guess having an out of body experience and then realizing we're just a cosmic speck makes you do shit you otherwise wouldn't cuz ur in ur head and being a pussy too much

[–]anxietyriddledbuddah0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Was 2 g enough for you?

[–]failed_singingcareer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

2 grams is enough, for sure. anything more than that you're asking to experience the universe's energy and trip balls. 1.5g and a dab pen was enough for me to experience ego death, an out of body experience, and have profound revelations about myself introspectively as well as my habits and some new ideas about economics which is what i was studying prior. but yea, i would say 2 grams tops. i like to go on a knowledge binge before i trip so i reflect on all the shit kinda like this

[–]saheebs2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

What I do works for me so ill put it down here. its fine if you don't like it but if it helps me maybe it'll help someone else?

Step 1; type a rant filled with all of the thoughts of your own head. for me it gets it out of my head in a raw form.

Step 2; go back and organise it... notice what things are recurrent, connected to each other, how much is garbage and unusable, how much is important to you etc.

Step 3; prioritise the list... for me i like to put the ones most important at the top because im preparing to investigate and dive deep into them later

Step 4; pick one on the list ( i pick the top most important ), and really really think (or meditate) on that thing you wrote down, and see if you can self question yourself why you think like that. the more you investigate, the more you get close to your core beliefs in your subconscious and you can realise why you get stuck in your head for THAT 'SPECIFIC' thought, and then you make space in your mind for being relaxed. you clear that queue of thoughts that weren't 'complete' and can then 'archive' them or leave them behind?

The self questioning is the most important part for me. it helps reveal and recollect things i had forgotten about ages ago.
for me the more i do it the more clearer i feel, but life means that there will always be a list, so the more you do it the better you feel imo

But yeah the topic of this is mindfulness if you want to go research on that


[–]cudder174 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

MEDITATION! You must catch yourself when you’re over thinking, then focus on the present moment. Focus on what’s in front you. Rinse and repeat.

[–]BajaGhia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

" The inner game of tennis"

By Timothy Gallway

Easy read, couple nights. Uses tennis as a medium to deliver a message about getting out of your own head when you already know what to do. You're just getting in the way.

[–]rpgedgar3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

D&D (for the improv aspects)
Exercises that allow you to slow down and pay attention to what's in your body, especially foam rolling at the end of a workout.

[–]mickymark10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The way you get out is by releasing whatever you desire. Let go.

You desire to get out of your head. That’s the problem. Your mind is saying it doesn’t want to. You’re going against your own mind. Don’t go against the grain.

Release your conscious desire and accept what’s happening right now. Your brain is telling you it wants to think and imagine. You need some time alone to recharge and build yourself up again.

I used to be in my head all the time. I realized it’s a part of who I am.

From there on, I set aside time every day when I was most low energy (1-2pm for me), and used that time to sit and a quiet place and merely let my mind wander.

Just like watering your plants, you have to give your mind some time to wander with your thoughts.

Over time, you will be conditioned to only get in your head during a certain time every day.

During that session, find out what’s bothering you/making you feel self conscious. There has to be something underlying. Start with- why do I feel this way? Because.... Well why that? Because...

Eventually, you’ll be lead down a path until you find your underlying issue that you can work on/fix.


[–]ghostokg0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm going to suggest you increase prebiotic fibrous foods to your diet to improve your gut biome and decrease anxiety. Barley, asparagus, oatmeal, whole grains, root veggies, honey, nuts, seeds, beans, apples, onions, leeks, bananas, chickpeas, lentils, artichokes. A lot of smart people are thinking that anxiety is exacerbated by an unhealthy gut microbiome, google that shit.

Also, advice #2, my understanding is that anxiety is a personality trait called "emotional stability /neurotic ism" in psychology, and it is believed that where you fall on this spectrum, is around 50% genetics. Meaning you have a genetic propensity that you will always revert towards. All these comments gave you good tools in the toolkit to combat your anxiety, I'm adding that you should also accept yourself for the anxious person you are to some degree as well. Work with that acceptance in mind. Genetics lay the foundation of your personality, we aren't blank slates that can change who we are completely, although the self help industry sells that lie for profit. Our genes aren't completely our destiny, we can recognize their limitations and still use the tools to combat natural tendencies if we want to achieve something different.

[–]cbxxxx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Figure out what the ROOT cause of your anxiety is and then build a life where you are reliant on nobody except yourself to satisfy that thing you're anxious about (as well as all your other life needs)

[–]Titan_Coeus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So here's how I conquered it (mostly)

First you can purchase something called Phenibut. Phenibut is a safe anti anxiety medication many PUAs use to increase their sociability - I can attest to this working.

But the above can only be used sparingly (special events/dates etc)

But for long term you need to learn self talk.

Usually when you're being over analytical your mind is racing with obtrusive thoughts. Its trying to make you analyse the world, best outcomes and what to say next in conversation.

This pulls you out of the moment. Your thoughts are running on autopilot. Sometimes the thoughts can be negative and effect your emotional state, which feeds into a negative analytical feedback loop. You get stuck here and it pulls you out of the moment further. It's a vicious cycle.

So here's what you need to do. If your thoughts are running on autopilot switch to manual thoughts. Repeat certain phrases back to yourself in your mind like 'fun, fun, fun', or 'this is fucking awesome, this is fucking awesome' smile at the same time and just keep repeating this thought chain in your head.

The objective here is to prevent you from falling into a negative mental feedback loop, and to pump your state up. It's to stop you from over analysing and keep you in the moment. It's to put you into a potivie feedback loop by tricking your mind. Stay with it and keep hijacking your thoughts to prevent you from over analysing. Move to manual thoughts is the key take away here.

One final tip. Stay out of your head by noticing what's around you. People watch and make comments about what's going on around you. If you get stuck, look at the room, name the colours, the features of certain items and keep doing it. This forces you out of your head and to be more present in the moment

[–]OfficerWade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OkAy, so you dont like your thoughts. But all you have to do is watch them. But don’t stop doing what you’re doing. If you think about a women, your mom, whomever just interact with them. If you notice that you’re upset by what’s going on take a step back, when you realize something is all wrong just say to yourself you’re doing that silly thing again and laugh or smile at your self. It’s when you take yourself seriously that you, pardon the pun, get into serious trouble. I’m not saying don’t take risks on asking women out. Confronting your self limiting beliefs-head-on or getting that job. Do all those things, just watch yourself do it.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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