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OWS: Don't be a Pussy, ask for a mental "spot" from others...you are not alone. Suicide Awareness Month

by broneilbro | September 27, 2019 | askMRP

82 upvotes

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We all know the gym is a place to build your body and mind. As you grow and find new strengths and PR you will sometimes need to ask for a spot as you try to breakthrough and get to a newer level of fitness. Be it bench, squat, or anything else you can feel comfortable asking for assistance instead of going by it yourself. Don't be scared to ask for assistance that you might not need. People will help.

The above goes same for your mental well being. Many times those that have the greatest physiques and other attributes that people ogle over tend to also be those that need help with their mental state, and many succumb to the darkness.

Many times the message that is communicated on here can be misinterpreted and that needs to be understood. We aren't a group of callous assholes that will call you a faggot if you truly need someone and reach out, even though that can come off like that. We are here to support but at the same time we aren't going to do all the lifting for you. You need to have some burden of the weight and be willing to struggle as we will be there for you if you need to reach out.

Now, you might be wondering why am I writing this? I'm writing this because my close friend that is going through what I have done reached out to me. He mentioned within all the chaos of the last few months (Separation, Moving out, Leaving the Navy, starting a new Job, going through Divorce proceedings) it was dark for him and he didn't know what to do but just try to numb the pain with alcohol. He has gained 40lbs in about 3 months from drinking and not doing shit. He lives in a nice apartment but he mentioned it is quiet when his kids aren't with him. He told me he will kill a 12 pack a night and just listen to seconds tick by thinking of how he is a failure of a man.

I didn't say anything and I kept listening. The guy has no network and his father had died early and as I was listening I was reflecting on my journey. I told him that I am there but he also needs to seek professional help too. Told him to get rid of the alcohol and he needs to start going to the gym and work both his body and mind. He acknowledged that he realized that he was asking for help by not even asking for it.

He got a therapist and is doing better than before. He is going to the gym but not as often as I want him to so we are making a date out of it now. He has to have that accountability just like I needed. He also turned over his handgun to me because even though he said he didn't want to he did state that there had been times that he just wanted to suck down a fifth and a .40 cal to end things. He told me he appreciated me supporting him and I just reinforced him that I'm there for him as I have been there.

Why should you care? Regardless of the ego that you flaunt or the strength you say you can show, the darkness has taken and will take some of the best men on this planet. You will see it creeping on you through your journey and evolution. In the end you shall not be one of them with the support of those around you. Just ask for help and it will be there.

TLDR: Don't be a Pussy, reach out to your MRP brethren.


Post Information
Title OWS: Don't be a Pussy, ask for a mental "spot" from others...you are not alone. Suicide Awareness Month
Author broneilbro
Upvotes 82
Comments 23
Date 27 September 2019 04:38 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/287469
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/d9vf0q/ows_dont_be_a_pussy_ask_for_a_mental_spot_from/
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Comments

[–]The_LitzRed Beret16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

You did a good job with your mate, and the spotting analogy is exactly how it works.

RP has given me the ability to empathise better with people. I used to feel responsible for a person when they come to me with problems. And somehow I attracted a few.

Now I can listen to a person without feeling like an emotional tampon and help them in a better way. I am there for them, but I am not carrying them.

In the past year I have gotten two good friends off the booze wagon. One told me he started trying when he felt I did not judge him on the boozing, but could see from my lifestyle he doesn't want to go through life with a hangover. He felt I encouraged him to get on my train instead of the booze train.

[–]hack3geRed Beret13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy

I remember the day you first posted here and it’s pretty fucking amazing how far you have come.

You burned that shit to the ground and rose from the ashes. You never second guessed yourself, you never bitched and whined, you dropped your ego quickly and you just got down into the weeds and worked on making your life what you wanted.

Not that you need it but you have my respect man.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I second all of that.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The man put in the work.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes he did. Big change from the guy who first posted here.

[–]pirisca5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

OP, as someone who is in similar circunstances to your friend, your post moved me to tears. You are a good guy, carry on.

[–]SeamusAwl2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

The hardest work i did was mental and emotional. Lifting weights was the easiest. All I had to do was add a plate and keep lifting. I feel my best when I am under the bar. I still cannot help but smile when i am lifting better than I have previously.

[–]pirisca0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree. And going towards OP argument, at a certain point I NEEDED to ask others for help, as I was losing it. I reached to a couple of friends, a brother and a psych to talk about all this stuff. It has helped so much...I feel that I am leaving the storm behind me.

Take care and keep up the good fight :)

[–]catchpull3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t gamble but I’ll put money on it that you have saved a life here.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

3 weeks ago I had to save my friends life. I will never forget the text I got. If I didn't go to his house that night he would have slipped into a coma. It was one of the worst things I have ever had to do. Visiting him in the hospital was horrible. Watching people drink themselves to death is something I have to watch over and over, I fucking hate it.

Good post man. I learned to not take on emotional anxiety, I have become stoic instead of pretending to not feel things. Now I feel them. I cry even. For 10 years I only cried a few times. Now I cry often when things hurt, I let them hurt. Then I butch the fuck up and move on with what I can control. I don't have the time or energy to be an emotional tampon anymore. Fuck codependency but helping our friends and brothers is important shit. Live together or die alone.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

The overall goal should be to OYS and build yourself in a way you can be self-sufficient. The reality is we will all need a spot from time to time. All the assholes that keep coming around here in MRP are either spotting for someone else or getting the kick in the ass to straighten themselves out.

Humans are social creatures and don’t do well completely on their own. We need associations. Otherwise, you end up like the guy on the movie Castaway talking to a volleyball named “Wilson.”

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly can’t take care of others if you can’t take of yourself first.

[–]nikfury691 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Two weeks ago, there was a "Tactical Pause" declared in one of the armed forces. The intent was to bring suicide to the forefront of the service's mindset. It was a failure. Some units had a group event, a luncheon, some trivial social event.

As my unit presenter, I chose a different path.

I did the research. https://www.dspo.mil shows 98% of the Air Force suicides were men. 2% female.

Not due to PTSD. Not in the field. Not with service weapons. At home stations.

70+% were due to "relationships". No surprises there.

Otherwise, an even distribution across age, rank, location.

"Relationships".

I'm the oldest of four brothers. All dead. One, type 2 diabetic, drunk till comatose. One, a suspicious pistol accident. One, a running truck in a garage. Comon factor?

"Relationships".

What they didn't have was a Red Pill brother to talk them through it. I wasn't there yet. My biggest regret.

"Gotta spot one another" is an understatement. We aren't alone. We need to make sure each of us know this. We need to close ranks, be aware and be ready to reach out.

Approx 129 suicides a day, in America. 3/4 are men.

Shouldn't be.

[–]Imaginary_Historian0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, my guess is the wives cheated while their husbands were deployed. Though that is the lowest of the low, even these women try to hamster their way out of the blame.

[–]Perfectinmyeyes0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Imo sometimes it's the right mix that would equal a fatal move. Doesn't mean the person is bad or too 'messed' up.

Depression throw a bit of alcohol in there and have a tool laying around.

Nj on helping him.

[–]Balls_Wellington_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I love the spotting metaphor. You can't do the work for him, but you can help him do the work and support when he needs it.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red-7 points-6 points  (6 children) | Copy

Talking about yourself in the third person doesnt help.

Seek help faggot.

[–]broneilbro[S] 3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

And here is a prime example...

In all seriousness this is a story of my friend who hadn’t had sex in almost 3 years and well reminded me of myself when I started this never ending journey.

Love your support as always.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red-11 points-10 points  (4 children) | Copy

No one cares about you, your exwife who worked on her fuck buddies car and cock in his garage while you were deployed or your prenup, let alone your buddy.

What are you up to these days?

I dont see you in OYS. So STFU.

[–]broneilbro[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I care about you ;-)

I’ll need to provide an update but everything is working out; new job, new girls, new life, new outlook.

Also as for OYS I believe I was blocked from the other sub for faggotiness.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I love red too, he just gets cranky. He's probably just hungry or angry with himself that he ate a entire box of ice cream sandwiches last night.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Maybe you should eat some crow and ask to get unbanned.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Banned for more than a year now, 465 days to go until unbanned.

Only if he asks though.

Edit: Fuck it. Time served.



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