Hello everyone,
This is a rant and not exactly uplifting material. I don't know where else to post this because this place is the only one where I get the most amount of satisfaction and feel a connection. Its not about getting a girl or getting laid, I'm trying to incorporate redpill theory in my day to day life.
I've posted here before and got tremendous support and encouragement. I tried to incorporate a lot of things I learned by reading the sidebar material and other posts but its about time I start following everything strictly.
Me
I just turned 31 today few minutes ago. I got married when I was 27, wife left me almost 6 months ago and we've been separated ever since and going through a nasty divorce/settlement process.
After my separation, I started seeking out self-help methods and landed upon this subreddit. In the past few months, some things worked for me, some didn't.
Once I started to focus more on myself, I realized the following things:
I don't have any real friends: The old me used to be there for everyone/anyone who needed my support or help. I'd go out of my way to help them any way I could; a lot of times without even them asking for it. If one of my friends was having a hard time finding a job, I'd lookup jobs for them, I'd ask them to send me their resume, I'd proof read it, suggest amendments, even follow up with them every few days to see if they had applied yet. If they had, I'd remind them to send a follow up email, if they hadn't applied yet, I'd encourage them to do so.
If one of my friends broke up with someone, I' go out of my way to take them out for coffee, dinner, or do something they'd enjoy (based on their preferences), I'd call them to remind them that I was there if they needed to talk. I figured thats what friends do, thats what friends are for.
Worst part was that if we were ever going somewhere out of the downtown core, I'd always be their driver since I was the only one with a car. They just always took me for granted in terms of being present whenever they needed to go somewhere.
Its primarily my fault because I never let them ask me, I'd always be the one offering rides (even if it meant going in the opposite direction for 1 hour just to pick someone up and then driving back to pick the rest of the group up).
The list goes on.
When I got separated from my wife, none of my friends called me. I actually had to plan a few Friday nights for all of us so I would have some company and I wouldn't be lonely.
I just ended up becoming someone they didn't take seriously (looking back), someone who was in idiot and always there for everyone. I herniated a disc and was in bed for 3 weeks, no one even called to check up on me, not even a fucking SMS or IM.
This has to change I want to start my 31st year where I put focus only on myself, no one else. I don't want any fake or selfish friends, even if it means going out on Friday nights alone. I'm just so sick and tired of being there for everyone and no one being there for me.
Thank you for letting me vent. I'm hoping to post monthly updates here, lets see how that works out.
Edit: 8:25 AM. Wow guys, I woke up to so many replies and PMs. I'm truly honoured and humbled. Unfortunately, I can't reply at work. I can't wait to get home in the evening and read reply to everyone's messages.
Edit 2: 8:26 PM. Just came home a while ago, and replied to some of the messages. I need to run downstairs to get some dinner, and will be back in a while to reply to the rest of the messages and PMs. Once again, thank you so much guys...I truly very very honored, humbled and lucky. Posting on this subreddit on my birthday and getting this kind of response has truly been one of the best things in the past few months. Thank you from the bottom of my heart
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