The fuck is going on in OYS? It's like every single OYS post is failing at basic frame control. Frame control is the mindset and reference through which you engage the world -- shit outside of your reality and control doesn't matter.
And the overwhelming number of you guys are failing at this TERRIBLY.
Failure 1 :: She statements
It seems like every single post has at least 50% of the post dedicated to some shit or other about your wife. The number of "She...." statements is getting to the point where OYS isn't actually valuable for most of your posts. You are spending waaay too much time and effort focusing on something that is outside of your control. If you want to focus on your wife's perspectives, responses, or thought process -- you're allowed to, but only if you have her write those sections directly.
If you can't get her to write her about her mindset, focus on the shit that you can control, which are your mindset, thoughts, and actions. Because honestly, I don't give a fuck about her -- and I especially don't give a fuck about your mental representation of her. OYS is for you, by you -- but don't waste your own time and the reader's time focusing on 1) shit you can't control, and 2) shit that ultimately doesn't matter.
As a result of this - we now have Rule 9, which states
OYS is about taking ownership of the things YOU control, not about other parties like your wife, dog, boss, etc. The vast majority of the focus should be on your mindset, your thoughts, and your actions. The primary agent for your post is a third party -- and as a result you've wasted your own time. (Standard ban duration :: 10 days.)
Failure 2 :: Your wife's golden pussy, held under lock and key
Common theme 2 is how you guys write about your sex life with your wife. And the way you guys are approaching this is from a scarcity mindset. Many guys as writing as if your wife is the gatekeeper to sex. In a world with 8+ billion people, this is patently not true. Your wife is only the gatekeeper of sex with her.
If you've made the choice that you're only going to have sex with your wife. That's on you. That's your personal decision. You need to very much own it. And as a result, when she doesn't fuck you -- you don't get to complain, because you've put yourself in that position. You don't get to lock yourself in a cage, and complain about being locked in a cage.
If you think that because you're doing all this self improvement, your wife should WANT to fuck you. Again, you're wrong. We've stated repeatedly that MRP has nothing to do with your wife -- and that doing this for your wife to fuck you is the worst covert contract you'll have. You have NO say in what she does or how she reacts. None. She is free to make whatever choice she wants. Just because you do the work, doesn't mean she's going to want to fuck you. All it means that someone will probably fuck you, maybe, but if you're locking yourself in a cage by your own choice, you don't get to bitch.
Again, just so we're very clear, MRP is not a program that will get your wife to fuck you. And this is especially true when you continue to have a shitty mindset.
As a result of this - we now have Rule 10, which states
OYS is about taking ownership of the things YOU control, not about other parties like your wife, dog, boss, etc. The vast majority of the focus should be on your mindset, your thoughts, and your actions. You are complaining about a situation you willingly put yourself into. That's a no go. (Standard ban duration :: 15 days.)
[–]Chump_No_MoreHard Core Nuclear Navy Red 26 points27 points28 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SBIIIMRP APPROVED Ballbuster 13 points14 points15 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]part_wolfPotential Wild Card / Dreadful '20 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Perfectinmyeyes 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]redwall92 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NewDouche 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED 3 points4 points5 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]johneyapocalypsesad - cares too much and needs to be right 3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SKRedPill1 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
Actually there are a lot of posts down there that should be getting honest feedback, but aren't getting any feedback at all.
[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods 9 points10 points11 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]xumjov 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ImNotSlashGrinding 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mrpmonkCart before the horse 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]mrpmonkCart before the horse 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]felixtc2k 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RedPillGlassesdelusional loser who talks shit and gives bad advice 2 points3 points4 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]Chump_No_MoreHard Core Nuclear Navy Red 9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RedPillGlassesdelusional loser who talks shit and gives bad advice -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SBIIIMRP APPROVED Ballbuster 6 points7 points8 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]RedPillGlassesdelusional loser who talks shit and gives bad advice 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]part_wolfPotential Wild Card / Dreadful '20 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SBIIIMRP APPROVED Ballbuster 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]RedPillGlassesdelusional loser who talks shit and gives bad advice 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]RedPillGlassesdelusional loser who talks shit and gives bad advice 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]InChargeManMRP APPROVED 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RedPillGlassesdelusional loser who talks shit and gives bad advice 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mrpmonk1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
OYS #3
Profile
29YO, LTR27. RP aware 3 months. HT 5'6" WT 132 BF 14%
Mission
I am the leader, the provider, and the protector of my home, who cultivate authority with a powerful, unshakeable, and rock-solid frame. I listen to what I want and do what I please, yet I'm considerate for others and would serve them with no sting attached, after meeting my needs and desires FIRST. I act on a projection matter, not reactive. I am respectful, funny, and humble man, who's also decisive, goal-oriented, and well-determined. I am of high value and share my values to the world and the people around me. I have high standards and integrity. I radiate masculinity and confidence and aspire others to be like me and enjoy being around me. I strive to achieve my goals, obtain wisdom and learn from my mistakes to be a better version of myself everyday. I am the prize.
Fitness
Started crystallizing my schedule in early morning and making consistent schedule. Enjoying my streghth
I run 10 min day 5/7 for 1.65 miles with 60 push-ups, 60 crunches and 60 squats. The run increase to 6+ miles outdoors in the weekend. Increased the incline to 1.5+ and did 9 miles outdoor shirtless outdoor. Feeling great to be checked out.
Done 8x5x3 modified strong-lifts for 2 weeks. With added biceps and pull-ups on one day, triceps, shoulders and raised legs on the other day. Upper body 60 lbs and lower body 80 lbs.
Goals: Keep correcting my form in lifting, push-ups and squats.
Diet
Cutting on food before bed to enhance my stomach function in early morning work out. Enjoying rich breakfast or lunch. Keep up with high fiber diet as my stomach is reacting.
Goals: rewarding myself with home-made smoothies after long successful days.
Relationship
My LTR left my home in support of my monk mode and I asked her to retun but she declined because she is sunbathing and enjoying life with her visiting aunt, and probably fucking Chad. Since I realized how deep I am in her frame, instead of her pussy, I'm nexting her when she comes back if I don't get the sex I want and kicking her out of my apartment. I started gaming and flirting my neighbors and my colleagues in my graduate school program
Goal: Keeping up my abundance and seduction training
Books
RedPill literature:
NO MORE MR. NICE GUY - in progress
The Book of Pook- in progress
Still Reading:
Reforming marriage by Douglas Wilson.
Goal: Reading more daily in the time wasted commuting.
Career
Restoring my work-study-life balance. Made reasonable daily goals to achieve everyday.
Discussed strategy with our clinic manager to obtain a raise plan in my current role
Also, will work in adding a new part time job that I'm passionate about. Today is my interview
Goals:
- Make agenda to obtain a raise at my job
- Studying hard to perform well in my school's mid-terms
Mindset
Monk mode is doing miracles in combination with my meditation 5/a day. I started to restore healthy relationships I had from friends of value and cut on beta friends that encourage me destroying my masculinity. Reflecting on my ambition and status, as well as my history with the knowledge obtained from NMMNG
Goal:
- Making sure I do ONLY what I want and move things to be in my frame.
- Keep up with Monk-mode in masculine attitude.
[–]redwall921 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
FYI monkdude .... This is not the OYS thread.
[–]part_wolfPotential Wild Card / Dreadful '20 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheActionNerd1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
OYS 3
29y, 186cm, 81kg, 20% BF, wife 26 married 8 months, together 5 years. 0 kids.
Doing Reddit Fitness' 3x5+ program: Back Squat: 85kg, Deadlift: 80kg, Bench Press: 55kg, Overhead Press: 37.5kg, Barbell rows: 50kg
Readings:
MMSLP, NMMNGx2, TWOTSMx4, Pookx4, Rational Male, Preventive Medicine, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Models, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, Art of Seduction, WISNIFG
Currently reading: Day Bang, Mindful Attraction Plan, Mastery (audio)
Physical
Pretty good 2 weeks on the physical front where I feel the most in control. Was on a business trip but got myself to the hotel gym every night (nothing better to do in the remote location). Also went to the sauna after every work out. Ended up not really gaining weight once I weighed in when I got back but ballooned up to almost 82kg before steadying my calorie intake and now at around 81kg. I’m cognizant of gaining weight too quickly as it’s getting a bit of a dirty bulk. Just trying to keep my belly at acceptable levels while I stay at a calorie surplus.
Lifts only went up on squat and deadlift, with the excuse that at the hotel gym, I couldn’t try to continue with a linear progression. I’m close to my limit on both BP and OHP when doing 5 reps. Also bought a weightlifting belt even though I’m lifting at faggot weights still. There didn’t seem to be a specific downside to having it from an earlier stage so I’ve also been getting used to that. Hit the gym 4 times each of the last 2 weeks.
Joined a BJJ class after returning from my trip and went to 2 classes. I’m committed to doing 2 classes a week for the next 6 months at least. Bought a foam roller for home and will generally either foam roll or do some yoga each night. BJJ effectively starts me in dread level 3 but I think I still have time for one more week night commitment.
Goals: Maintain habit of 4x a week gym and 2x a week BJJ class.
Frame
Finally recognised the often used “you seem angry” shit test. I’ve gotten this many times in the past and would get agitated over why she thought I was angry, fulfilling the prophecy. This time I AM’d and AA’d through it, effectively passing this shit test for the first time ever it would seem. I didn’t capitalise on the good mood it put her in that night though.
I was also able to call her out 2 times when she used a shitty tone of voice when speaking to me, teasing her about it. I’m not calling out her shit every time yet since I still need to play my beta role until my frame is a lot stronger. STFU’d through a lot of the whining this week. Something really important is for me to get my self-respect back so I will start poking on this front when she is strongly out of line.
I did do some DEERing when some historical topics where my behaviour was apparently bad was brought up. I did do a better job about STFUing initially and also refused to apologise about something I had apologised for before when I was fully blue pilled. Tried to broken record a little bit by maintaining that I wanted to keep the topic to the night of the fight and not on past behaviours.
Started bringing in a lot more playfulness in my interactions with my wife again. I make sexual jokes all the time around my friends and that had really left my relationship the last few years since I’d get frustrated about the lack of response. Just started bulldozing it in to some good reactions.
Goal: Continue unashamedly speaking my mind to game. STFU when shit tested.
Finances
Have a decent understanding of where my money is/is going but I won’t be able to progress my financial situation until I start spending money to make money. I don’t believe I can do much about my career or start a side job so realistically, I should try to learn to invest so that I don’t have so much cash just sitting in the bank doing nothing. I’m spending a lot of time researching physical stuff since now it’s more in my comfort zone but I need to switch that time investment into this.
Regarding the above, I have a steady job. I’m pretty much locked into my role for the next year and a half due to my relocation. Aside from pushing for a decent raise in a few months, I don’t think I have much opportunities in this front. Spoke to a mentor at work recently and I will really try to put my head down to get as much recognition as possible. I am the most competent in my team and an important part of the team, but he rightly pointed out that I’m not even close to irreplaceable to the company. I have a few people in the company invested in helping me succeed and I need to actually put in the work to benefit from that. I have been pretty distracted by consuming a lot of MRP but over-researching has also been a form of procrastination for me so I need to spend more time just doing.
Goal: Research about investment topics and put 2k into investments by the end of the year. Actually start working hard again and bring a more positive and engaging energy to work.
Social
Adding this section now. It’s my other biggest weakness which I’m not doing much about. After relocating half way around the world to the UK, I don’t have any friends here except for 1 friend who moved recently as well. I’ve started BJJ classes and my gym schedule is consistent so I can continue to branch out.
Because of my need for validation/sex, I would try to keep as much time available as I could at home, in my mind to increase the chance of sex. But realistically, my wife doesn’t want to have sex after work so all weeknights should be fair game for me to go out and do actually meaningful activities. I know this will rile my wife up though. I still have this anxiety and walk on egg shells especially around my availability. On weekends, I spend the entire days (outside of gym) with my wife. I need to fix my mindsets around this and not be so available all the time. I think this is a little bit of a chicken and egg scenario where I just have to go out. I have been going out at times but mostly when my wife is away or on night shift, giving myself an easy excuse.
I am prepping myself to at least add some casual day game in the next month. I did some approaches just to show my friend but I want to be able to do it without a wing (historically difficult for me). I met my wife through day-game so although it is a higher dread level than where I am at, it is something I should be able to apply without too much difficulty. And I need to fix my scarcity mindset.
Goal: Find 1 social activity to do per week. Do it even if I believe my wife will be unhappy about it. Provide myself opportunities to be outside and able to do some day-game.
[–]part_wolfPotential Wild Card / Dreadful '20 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link