In general, I'm very comfortable around women and highly outcome independent. However, sometimes there are women who are just so special (in my own mind) that I will end up losing frame. Here is how I learned to deal with it.

In general, I talk to a lot of girls, especially hot girls. When I talk to them, I don't usually think of plating them. I have no goals at all, even though I'm heavily flirty. I learn in my early teens that girls like flirty guys. What this does is set up pre-selection. I'm usually liked by most women.

Occasionally, I see a girl making the effort to be with me. These are the only ones I usually pursue, especially at a restricted setting such as the workplace. For example, there's this girl at work that works in a different building. She had a lot of appealing characteristics that put her in the highly desirable bracket. We've talked a few times and I've kino'd her like I do with almost all women at work (that's right, at work. It can be done if you know how).

One day she approaches where I sit and stops about 20 feet away. A couple of guys are chatting with me so she pauses for a few seconds and goes and talks to someone else while keeping an eye on me. After my guys leave, she comes over and says: "Oh this is where you sit! I was here to meet so and so". Instead of calling her out on the fact that she was obviously here to see me, I simply said: "Let's go have a drink". She delightedly agreed.

You can guess how confident I was that she would agree. This certainty of knowing the results of your actions or rather being prepared for the results is where confidence and staying cool comes from. We went to a bar and I sat on a stool. She moved the stool next to me a few inches away and sat on it. "Come closer" I said and put my hand on the stool and dragged it closer, until our legs touched. I did not take my hand off the stool. Instead, I placed it on her stool, touching her thigh. This was a no brainer for me because I knew she was into me. All I need to do is not fuck up.

Long story short, logistical issues made us go to a parking lot and make out. When we were about to go our separate ways, I said: "That was magical!". "Magical? It was great, but I wouldn't call it magical." she said. "Uh oh," I thought. "A small frame drop. Reading too many beta FRs lately." "Well, lets not make it seem bigger than it is" I said.

A couple of days later, she said its a mistake to mix work and pleasure and we should just stop. "I agree" I said and talked a minute about work matters and left. After this, I simply went radio silent. We don't run into each other since we don't really work together and are in different buildings so I sort of forgot about her.

A couple of weeks later, I had lunch with another lady from work and she asked about some of my recent accomplishments at work. We had a great conversation and it was all professional. The same evening, my lady who broke up with me shows up at my desk and says she heard something great about me. Turns out word spreads fast with women. And when they all say good things, the lady reacquired the tingles.

Long story short, this time I had logistics set up.

I've used the radio silence plus pre-selection a few more times when I've lost frame. They key is to not try to fix it by trying to say something and do something in her presence. Absence is far more powerful. Your lack of anxiety to fix whatever social error always has a more beneficial effect than trying to bumble up some clever talk or smooth gesture.

You do need a list of people who like you. Women are good, well connected women are better. Beautiful, respected, connected women are best.