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What are you going to do about it?

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mrpalt1
October 10, 2019
8 upvotes
askMRP

I got out of the shower this morning getting ready for work..wife immediately accuses me of using "too many towels". She went searching to solve the fucking towel mystery and found out she was wrong. I sternly told her to quit being a spazz and she's no longer chief of the towel police.

I held frame in the moment (which for me was remaining calm) and and then got to work and I am fucking pissed. This is not how normal humans interact with each other. I would expect a good morning at the minimum. I don't find this to be a shit test but just a complete disregard of general human decency, below my standards and completely unattractive.

I would not put energy or time into a friend that acted like that. Yes in the big picture this is petty shit but it also finally clicked that I will not tolerate that kind of behavior especially from my wife. What an eye opener that I need to spend a lot more time, energy and attention on myself.

No I don't plan on addressing this with her or bringing it up. This is my rant and I'm moving forward with how I spend my time and attention because the above isn't worth it.

​

EDIT: Thanks to u/FereallyRed for the post on Stranger Test this is a better summation of my attempted post and what I needed to realize, internalize and proceed. Everyone else thanks for reminding me it is another shit test and to chill the fuck out they're always going to show up.


Post Information
Title What are you going to do about it?
Author mrpalt1
Upvotes 8
Comments 62
Date 10 October 2019 02:32 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/289638
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/dfyv3l/what_are_you_going_to_do_about_it/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
frameshit teststandards
Comments

[–]SoyTanto60 points61 points  (6 children) | Copy

Next time you are fucking her, pull out and bust on top of a freshly washed towel

[–]JudgeDoom697 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

This is gold.

u/mrpalt1 what we have here is a garden variety shit test, nothing more. She is testing your frame. I'd say you passed, but just barely.

When you get to the point where her harpyness truly doesn't bother you at all, and you just walk up to her and give her a kiss on the forehead for her effort, then you will have swallowed the red pill.

You've still got a long way to go, Mr. Chief of the Towel Police.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Funniest thread I’ve read in a long time. OP all butthurt over towels and thinks his butthurt is because his wife... long way from Kansas Toto

[–]JudgeDoom691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP all butthurt

u/mrpalt1 this is key. All kidding aside, her mood should have a sum total of zero effect on your mood.

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

He said he was stern, how is it possible he was bothered? /S

[–]Iammrp26 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Passive aggressive? Nah. Active absorbent.

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red18 points19 points  (4 children) | Copy

Stranger test

[–]FoxShitNasty8311 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gem:

"Be more like a stranger to her. Do your own shit, live your own life, and let her wonder who you are, who you’ve become, and why, all of the sudden, she feels like she doesn’t know you any more. Make her audition and re-audition for the role of your wife/girlfriend every day. Make her feel as though your opinion of her is constantly in flux, like she could fail at any time. Like tomorrow, she could lose you. Like her status is hanging by a thread."

[–]0io-Tsundere3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Classic must-read post.

[–]mrpalt1Chief of the Towel Police[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck yea. Great reply. Read and re-read. This is what I'm going after. Thank you

[–]i-am-the-prize2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

top shelf content. saving, thanks for linking.

fuuuuuck..

​

"...

Does your wife or girlfriend do things to you, refuse to do things for you, and say terrible things to you that she would never, in a million years, say to a friend, to a co-worker, or to a complete stranger she met at Starbucks?

Then she respects you less than she respects a total stranger. She is treating you, the man she supposedly loves, worse than she treats bystanders at a coffee shop. You get her at her worst, while some random guy in line at the bank gets her best behavior. Her most pleasant, attractive, respectful self that she only showed to you back when you were dating and she thought she might lose you if she misbehaved.

Do you want that woman back? Do you want to be treated at least as well as she treats her office-mates and strangers she meets while running errands? You know, with basic human decency and respect instead of utter contempt, meanness, and a serious lack of gratitude?..."

...his is what brought me to RP, not infidelity, not a main-event per se. This type of devolving shit behaviour that became my everyday world. I would sit and think: "if one of my bro's said, this is what my wife said and did today" i would tell him to dump her ass. Yet here I was wondering, WTF am I gonna do, we have kids, blah blah blah.

I was the problem. I am the solution. I am the Prize.

[–]weakandsensitive31 points32 points  (8 children) | Copy

Oh goodie. You're going to seethe emotionally to yourself, blame her, punish her, and never let her know why. Bold strategy cotton.

[–]ellifino9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

+1 for the flair

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes it is too easy.

[–]mrpalt1Chief of the Towel Police[S] 7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

I am going to avoid precisely this. I posted my emotions. I'm not seeking to punish her or blame her. I don't find it acceptable for anyone first thing in the morning to be a harpy, whether it's a co-worker or wife or whatever. I'm going to continue to be positive and laid back in my interactions with her but I also need to step up where I spend my time and attention.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You know, people are really bad at hiding their emotions via non-verbal communication. If you feel it, I guarantee you she'll know. Any type of resentment or anger, it'll come through and be picked up on.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

You "posted your emotions"?

Homo.

Regarding this:

I don't find this to be a shit test but just a complete disregard of general human decency, below my standards and completely unattractive.

Towels, human decency, and below your standards.

Fucking towels.

I would not put energy or time into a friend that acted like that.

Presumably you're not fucking your friend... well, then again you are a homo.

but it also finally clicked that I will not tolerate that kind of behavior especially from my wife.

You're so cool. Time for the "new you" to show her what it means to be a real man.

She will respect your authority.

Sweet.

What an eye opener that I need to spend a lot more time, energy and attention on myself.

How you gonna do that?

  • More towels?
  • Fewer towels?

Tell me about the towels. The god-forsaken towels.

p.s. I suspect that given the nature of your diatribe your intended next steps may be a bit misguided.

p.p.s. Drama queen.

[–]hack3geRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The real question you didn’t ask that we need answered is - are the towels 100% Pima cotton?

[–]mrpalt1Chief of the Towel Police[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha I'm with you up until respect my authority. There's no authority at play here. I can't force her to be nice in the morning.

[–]Balls_Wellington_12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

Once I recognize a shit test for what it is, it is hard for me to be mad about it. She's just testing my fitness and frame because she subconsciously wants me to do and be better.

I like to remind myself of that, because reacting with anger is failing the shit test. At least for me, once I'm mad I'm ready to argue and fight, and once I argue I start to DEER, and then I fail the shit test.

Good job recognizing it, but make sure to respond with amused mastery instead of any kind of DEERing. And don't hold it against her after the fact-she's just giving you an opportunity to test your frame.

[–]i-am-the-prize3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Once I recognize a shit test for what it is, it is hard for me to be mad about it

this is an important step in the process. I still/recently hear(d) some of the exact same words out of her mouth, which a year ago offended me, pissed me off, set me off. Now I \shrug them off** and pass the tests like a MF champ, and end up with her giggling, dumbfounded, star struck, and most importantly - with my self respect and mindset firmly maintained. This isn't about her. It's about you OP and about us/me in our Frame.

[–]0io-Tsundere10 points11 points  (7 children) | Copy

You missed out on the quickie blowjob you were supposed to get when you stepped out of the shower. Had you tried to get one (successfully or not) the focus would no longer be on the towels.

Don't get worked up or upset about petty shit. "What happened to all the towels? There was a stack of clean towels here yesterday!" may be annoying but it's basically logistical stuff that you shouldn't get upset about.

You can still make out or have sex for a couple of minutes in the morning and get to work on time. Next time wife appears as you're stepping out of the shower, instead of telling her she's spaz who is not the head of the the towel police try initiating and see what happens. It will either go great, or not so great, but she'll think twice before she barges in and accuses you of using too many towels.

It's better that she's searching the web for "why is my husband's sex drive so high" instead of "why does my husband get angry when I tell him he uses too many towels."

[–]FoxShitNasty834 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

"why is my husband's sex drive so high"

And why does he always stfu and walk away when I'm being a cunt

Why does he goto the gym all the time

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

What the fuck is my husband doing? He's never here. He looks better. He got new hobbies. He's.... interesting.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Man I remember these not bat shit crazy shit tests.

OP - These are simple ones. - do what you’re doing. I got all the same shit. Just OYS around the house. And don’t every feel bad or guilty for creating a good lift for yourself.

[–]0io-Tsundere2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, SFTU and gym are very important, essential basics.

[–]mrpalt1Chief of the Towel Police[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Initiating didn't even cross my mind. I just proceeded to get dressed and get ready for work. I found the whole thing unattractive.

[–]0io-Tsundere2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just hopping out of the shower is almost always a good time to initiate. It doesn't have to lead to full-on sex, but builds a little tension for later. Remember she's supposed your wife not a grouchy roommate, so don't let your marriage turn into "I have a really annoying roommate who bitches about towels."

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I did this for 6 months straight and got hard nos every single time because morning sex wasn’t her thing.

Now one of my wife’s favorite things is when I bend her over the counter while she’s getting ready for work. The other day she texted me that she had cum running down her leg during her meeting - I replied “You’re welcome.”

She will take notice like you said and eventually you will get to have some fun when you are actually a man worth fucking.

[–]ibelieveican19826 points7 points  (7 children) | Copy

Just women being women. Why do you let it affect you? Laugh at it and move on with your day.

[–]0io-Tsundere0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I'm actually curious as to what happened to all the towels though. Did they get left in the laundry room, or is OP using 8 towels every time he takes a shower? Enquiring minds want to know. :)

[–]mrpalt1Chief of the Towel Police[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Just a head rinse this morning so 1 towel. 1 other on the drying rack. We got enough towels to open a small shop in the middle east

[–]0io-Tsundere0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

So... (I mean we know it's not about the towels, but) is the laundry piling up or something? Like there's a small mountain of towels that need to be washed? This may go down as one of the great unanswered questions.

[–]mrpalt1Chief of the Towel Police[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

nope. shit's in order. I asked her to fold towels like a week ago when she was watching tv...maybe that's what set her off?

It's like u/FereallyRed posted on the stranger test. That's what I need to work on.

[–]0io-Tsundere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We will probably never know. But seriously, initiate when you hop out of the shower, especially if you don't normally do that. Has a high chance of success, and it will at least get you off the topic of towels, especially if she's still thinking about it from last week.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t get in her head. It doesn’t matter what happened to the stupid towels.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just women being women. Why do you let it affect you? Laugh at it and move on with your day.

Some funny shit in the comments, but seriously this is the answer

[–]Smuggler-Tuek3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s towels dude. Who gives a shit. Walk over to wherever you keep the towel inventory and drape yourself in like 7 or 8. She will laugh most likely and you will be cozy as fuck.

[–]RoccoPinkman2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My bad bro. I’ll only use the one towel in future when I’ve finished. I had to borrow your boxers to sorry.

[–]r_u_a_badfish22 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Hoes always be trippin. Why you letting it get to you?

You gotta get to the point to where you genuinely don’t give a shit about shit like that. Until then, fake it till to make it.

“Why you using so many towels?!”

You: <start singing a happy tune while you enjoy your shower>

[–]ArborioRice1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

“Why you using so many towels?!”

You: <look her dead in teh eye and helicopter your dick around>

[–]r_u_a_badfish20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That works, too.

[–]DuffBude2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's never about what it's about. Your wife is not annoyed by stupid towels. She's annoyed by you. I understand that you also find her behavior annoying. But until she feels more lucky to have you then it's not really going to change.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

The amount of fucks you still give and how angry you are is readily apparent.

For a second, I thought this was a troll post and was going to ban you, but I see you posted a few times in OYS.

Get a grip, Chief.

[–]mrpalt1Chief of the Towel Police[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're right.

[–]rocknrollchuck2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Next time she says anything about towels, look her in the eye and ask "Are you angry?" then drape your towel around her shoulders like a cape and tell her "Look! Now you're SUPER angry!"

[–]dll1422 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just laugh at her and poke fun. I was watching a football game last Sunday with our sons and I heard my wife huffing in the kitchen about the way the pans were put away in the cabinet. I heard her yell at me "get out here!" I knew what it was about so I got up and went into the kitchen with her bitching about the pans. I laughed at her and took her in my arms and smacked her ass, picked her up, spun her around and tickled her. She protested at first and told me to stop. Then she proceeded to bend over to put the pans away and I grabbed her ass. At that point she laughed.

Do something like that... have fun with her. If she is still full of piss and vinegar, just poke fun and laugh and walk away. She's going to shit storm the first time or two you do this, so be prepared....

She's a just girl... remember that

[–]mrpalt1Chief of the Towel Police[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. Just another shit test. Been having fun since keeping it light

[–]2ndalRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Tell me, are you mad when the wind blows, too?

[–]mrpalt1Chief of the Towel Police[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

only on the golf course

[–]gameoflibidos1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It blew the towel off your cart?

[–]The_LitzRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's got nothing to do about the towels brother. She is testing your frame because she needs to know whether or not you are the captain.

You passed by not engaging, you lost by being bugged by it hours after the fact.

Reset

[–]Perfectinmyeyes0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Even thou I loved the comments here. I get where your coming from, my wife goes off on lots of issues that imo have little meaning.

[–]SelectAirline0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Please tell me you sent her a Towelie meme from the road.

[–]LivingRPLife0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do you use 1 or 2 towels under her when she has squirting orgasms? You don’t want to make her mad dude.

Seriously, work on frame, stop caring so much what she says.

[–]emotiveTechNerd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But what if this or something similar happens again?

[–]JameisBong0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with you...but it might be too late to set new boundaries. Who you are should have been established in the beginning,she views you as a weak beta who emotionally reacts to everything.

[–]DeplorableRay0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You missed all of the AA/AM readings didn’t you?

[–]mrpalt1Chief of the Towel Police[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

that's where the chief of towel police comment came from. that part was said with a smirk. only after I got to work I got pissed off and posted on reddit. got some flair and now have to manage a squadron of towels

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

only after I got to work I got pissed off and posted on reddit.

Stop getting pissed off a t shut like this. Controlled anger is appropriate sometimes. This is not one of those times. It’s clear you care what too much about what your thinks and does with the... towels.

I’m not sure how many promotions there are between towel boy and captain... but it’s going to take you awhile with some really focused and hard work on yourself.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Towels?

Who gives a shit about towels?

Who the fuck is this?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who the fuck is this?

He’s the Executive Manager for Towel Maintenance and Appropriation apparently.



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