Are most girls just lacking in personality, or do I just attract shit girls?

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We_Broke_Up
October 11, 2019
65 upvotes
askTRP

I swear, in 90% of interactions, if we're not flirting, all they do is either fucking complain about the same shit and feel entitled about their opinions which are mostly based off emotions rather than actually anything thoroughly researched. Don't get me wrong, they have knowledge about shit, it's just more like "my home country is like this" or "school is like this", "my job's industry is like this" or like a half-fleshed out statement about a hobby they might have. One girl worked in administration (something I find a lot of girls seem to be doing, along with nursing) and the only time things got interesting was when she mentioned that she liked raves and was into bdsm but there was nothing that amazing about how she described it. She is wild though. Spent like 20k on her tools. Anyways, it's more like, look at me, I do this. It's hard to explain but it's like all that goes on in their mind is "me me me me my feelings my work me me me me drama me me me horny me me me me stability me me me social proof". Turns me off so quickly.

There's this one girl that just spends 3 days complaining about how sick she feels and how her voice is hoarse and she thinks it makes her cool or something. Seriously? You can't talk about anything interesting? I try to steer the conversation elsewhere but it's like either she can't read it or just doesn't have it in her to branch from it. We flirt, but it's boring honestly. At first I found her interesting because we were talking about actual deep shit and opening up which gave me interesting perspectives, but now she just seems like the biggest tool. And this has happened so many times with chicks. We start off the interaction interesting, and then eventually all they can do is flirt and complain (thankfully not about their past relationships, because they can miss me with that), with rare moments of opening up about anything remotely interesting. Even if they want to have video chat sex or phone sex or send me nudes, I might get a boner but I'm not even in the mood to fuck around with them. It's like I lose the respect to even want to treat them as an object. Maybe I just can't be interested in girls who don't stimulate me mentally, unless it's a hook up because then I don't know much about them.


Post Information
Title Are most girls just lacking in personality, or do I just attract shit girls?
Author We_Broke_Up
Upvotes 65
Comments 57
Date 11 October 2019 10:55 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/289767
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dgdgmk/are_most_girls_just_lacking_in_personality_or_do/
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Comments

[–]unbrokenMind72 points73 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's the definition of a basic girl. I feel the same as you. 90% of them just don't do anything interesting all day, gossip, watch tv shows, complain and surf instagram. Not all of them are the same, but a vast majority. Yeah, they may be attractive but they lack the essence.

A girl who is able to have meaningful conversations and open up about anything, is so rare that when you find one you are shocked. And she's more attractive than those hot chicks on instagram just because she can stimulate you mentally. She's also 110% hotter if she can stand her point. If a girl would agree with you on everything you say, that would be pretty boring, huh?

It's true, at least for me, most of them seem to lack personality, but there are some who would make you go crazy after them.

[–]KillaJewels13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup, basic. This is why screening with purpose is so important. The moment a girl acts like that, I walk away or ignore if I need to stay for a different reason. My time is precious, and I refuse to give it up like candy to someone I have no interest in besides looks.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

I swear, in 90% of interactions, if we're not flirting, all they do is either fucking complain

Tell them to be more interesting.

Literally.

"Ok... but that's boring. What else you got going on?"

Most will fail though, yes.

[–]MultiMidsets4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

True i feel like she'll jump through hoops if you say something like that

[–]i-am-the-prize14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

it's a population % thing. most are basic, so you're seeing the largest/most common demographic.

change your hunting ground(s), if what turns you on mentally is stem, or philosophy, or art, go places where those things are valued and discussed. be prepared for daygame and less alcohol, but enjoy better chances of non-basic bitches.

also, if that's all they have to offer, don't get angry, use them for sex and find better bonds in male friends. it takes work to find a sexy woman who is also not basic, definitely doable, but lower % of them are. choose your battles.

[–]DiscipulusLuporum25 points26 points  (13 children) | Copy

I've met a lot of girls with interesting hobbies and who are good to talk to at university. I think it's just you attracting/talking to the skanks bro.

[–]We_Broke_Up[S] -2 points-1 points  (12 children) | Copy

Ones that don't use instagram and snapchat filters?

[–]DiscipulusLuporum5 points6 points  (11 children) | Copy

I have no idea. Do you have instagram/snapchat?

[–]We_Broke_Up[S] 33 points34 points  (10 children) | Copy

I admire you forwardness but unfortunately, I'm straight. I'm asking because it's not that the girls don't have hobbies, it's that it's so clouded by insecurity and a need for validation that once you get to really know them, it kills any attraction

[–]DiscipulusLuporum4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm straight too? I meant to imply that if you have insta/snapchat then it would appear hypocritical to belittle others for using it too. Obviously there are differing levels of usage tho.

As for a need for validation, I reckon both males and females have a similar need but in the current social environment it's way easier and accepted for chicks to seek validation with slutty pics and whinging, whereas men will be looked down on for it. Fortunately all the girls I've dated and become acquaintances ( Don't really believe in female friends much tbh) with aren't really like that over-the-top fishing for validation every day selfies type girl. It's not too hard to screen for those kinda girls I reckon.

[–]youcantstopmyzed1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You’re both dumb but I assume English isn’t your native language?

[–]DiscipulusLuporum0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

English is my native language. I was pretty tired last night

[–]I_Dont_Type11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

rofl

[–]thisisthebeginningag1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh my god.

[–]redvelvet8 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Unsave

female here. i agree with what you're saying, i struggle to make friendships (with the same sex) because of this exact same issue. but i also struggle to find a bf (i don't actively search, but i rarely ever found a guy who made me look up at him, at least not irl. online yes, and we had great convos).

i also feel disappointed that many guys "encourage" "plain" girls who just care about looks or gossips (to each his own of course, i am not saying i am better, but i think men really put a lot of value for a woman solely based on her makeup, clothes etc). Like, i see guys liking pics of girls who clearly are just for validation, silly hundreds pics with lots of filters.. so they are kinda telling the girls to keep on doing what they're doing no?

i don't have a personal IG/snapchat, but i use fb and whatsapp because they are needed and useful. I have an Ig account just for a very few practical accounts, and I am objectively a "good" chat. I have hobbies as well (= not just gym or make up, not saying that's wrong, but it seems to be the trend nowadays). And I'm actually more than average looking.

"we" exist, but we have daily struggles from society. personally i reached a point where i hide my personality, where i make myself not successful just not to be the object of bullying and jealousy and comments and gossips etc. if you're not superficial, girls will feel threatened so you have to act like you are superficial , if you see what i mean. and also with guys, i saw a lot of disappointing things. (of course, it's a depression). so i just stay as quiet as possible, i ask questions more than i express my opinions Unless i know the person i am talking to is a kind of person i can open to.

i am trying to change my acquaintances and social circles, and reaching out to people from other countries - it seems i can have a better connections with some foreigners, perhaps it has to do with the general mentality of my country ?

if you want to meet interesting girls, i think any kind of clubs or groups can help. hiking groups, reading clubs, or language tandems etc. widen your horizon, really it's important (i belong to a social circle different than my brother and i see a big difference - i was in a school and uni that had "shit" people, but i see a lot of interesting , hobbies or education orientated people in my brother's social circle.

[–]We_Broke_Up[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's not a bad suggestion actually. Honestly, I would probably do it if I wasn't too busy liking all of these instagram pictures and taking snaps... on a serious note though, it gets complicated when you get into clubs because you want to focus on something that you enjoy, but you also don't want to fuck up that environment with a relationship. It's a worth a shot though

[–]askmrcia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea it's a challenge to date girls in clubs and social circles.

The is asking them out and risk getting rejected where everyone in the club knows about it. Basically you can ruin your reputation and be known as the creepy guy that hits on all the girls. To win over this challenge you have to play the slow game something this sub tends to avoid talking about. Which is understandably because if you wait too long with the slow game you risk her finding a another guy.

By slow game I mean over a few weeks or even months of small talk and building up your status in the group/club. A lot of guys make the mistake to go balls to the wall and ask out any girl they find attractive in their social circle. That usual results into you looking thirsty and getting the reputation as "that guy".

It's better to build up small talk, become friendly (not friends), and get them comfortable around you. Once you get to that place where you can ask them out, ff they reject you it won't be that big of an issue because they won't blab their mouths to everyone else in the club that you were hitting on them.

Why would they? You are the cool guy of the group.

This has been my dating strategy for the past few years. I dated girls from my swing dancing club, volleyball league/team, kickball league, improv group, ect...

When things did end no one knew about it. She didn't bad mouth or anything.

[–]redvelvet8-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

would probably do it if I wasn't too busy dealing liking all of these instagram pictures and taking snaps...

Haha you cracked me up :)

Yeah i understand what you mean. But networking and so on is really important (not specifically for relationships). When you put yourself out, we get more diverse opportunities, matter of fact. If anything you could make friends, and then those friends introduce you to people outside the clubs. I didn't join college clubs, but I searched on fb for meet-ups or hang-outs of people who have the same mindset/hobby, or want to do the same activity. Clicked with more people than i do at college/work.

[–]red_philosopher8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why do you think there are memes and videos making fun of "basic bitches"?

[–]MultiMidsets0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Truu

[–]unnaturalcontrol7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it’s a problem with girls in their 20’s nowadays. I actually had a date with a girl who’d only watched Netflix one time for a specific show and watched it because of the art in the show. She does artsy shit with her free time and I was genuinely shocked that she was an actual person.

[–]Imaginary_Historian7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've known several girls with personality. Problem is they were batshit. Without fail this was the case, every single last one of them. Sometimes the batshit took a while to come out but it always did.

Problem here is that it seems you still have this in your mind that you will find everything you want in a woman. Several years ago I stopped trying to do that. If you lead, a woman will follow you wherever you go and be "into" whatever you are into.

I get mental stimulation from my work, from my hobbies and friends and I don't need a woman for that. I don't need a girl who was already into the same shit as me. However, I do like a devoted girl, so if a girl does show interest in the same things I do, I will let her come along for the ride.

[–]AlwaysimprovingMane6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hot girls don't ever need to learn how to hold a conversation, or be interesting. They get attention and taken care of regardless, it's evolution.

[–]frognads4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Try fishing in a different pond.

[–]UsernameIWontRegret16 points17 points  (19 children) | Copy

Remember. Men create, women consume. That’s why artists, scientists, entrepreneurs, etc, are all men while the vast majority of consumer spending comes from women. That dynamic stems from our psychologies.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Women are liquid. They take the shape of the men in their lives. Fathers, bosses, influential past boyfriends, etc.

If a woman has no "personality" that you can infer from her actions, then she has learned nothing that was influential enough to alter her habits.

Remember, there's no such thing as personality.

[–]dominicthetiger6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

What do you mean by "there's no such thing as personality"?

[–]BloodSurgery2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Im not him, but I believe he means that people can always shape themselves to be different.

One can be easily an introvert, and can "change" to be an extrovert.

Or in the case of women, they can act like sluts with a guy, but with another act like a girl who wont have sex until marriage, pure, and so on. As he says, they take shape according to men, so instead of them having a fixed personality, it fluctuates over time.

Thats my take on it at least, hopedully he explains what he meant.

[–]Sobinia2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Back when we still lived in caves, intelligent women were harder to pick up, take to the cave and mate with, which is why most men ended up having children with women that were more emotional, stupid (easier to convince to have sex with) and self-centered (cared for themselves more during pregnancy, giving the child better chances of survival). The smarter girls either got picked up by intelligent men, or died off before having babies. That's why so many women are shallow. Another reason why so many girls are only into things like makeup and cooking, is because such hobbies allow them to attract men. I used to be a 5/10. Currently, I'm a 7/10 (Polish standards) and... maintaining such an appearance requires effort. I have to choose my clothes, care for my skin, maintain a proper diet and hygiene... because of that, I have less time to pursue other hobbies and interests, and am currently trying to balance everything out. I can't imagine what 9/10's have to go through (unless, of course, they won the genetic lottery)!

There might be another reason why you attract stupid women. Are you able to maintain a deep conversation with an intelligent girl? We women don't like to be bored either! If a man can only respond with "umm"'s and "whaaat"'s, we'll next him. Also, where do you usually pick them up? Most women with an IQ of more than 115 don't spend much time in clubs and bars. Intelligent women are out there. You just need to know where to look.

[–]We_Broke_Up[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

The ones I'm thinking of are the less basic ones (ex. at libraries, bus station, work etc.). But even then it seems to get back to that same issue eventually. They'll stimulate me mentally at the start, then once we get closer, it's like the mask is off and they're back into their habits. The one girl I really clicked it off with just happened to be long-distance and online, which isn't my cup of tea. She said she wanted to fuck my brain and was hyper-sexual and kept trying to video chat sex with me. That shit's boring though unless it's in person. I noticed though that she started giving less of a fuck when I didn't care to reciprocate her horniness because fuck internet relationships.

[–]Sobinia0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Intelligent women don't look for boyfriends at work, because they know that if things don't turn out well, they'll have to spend time with their ex every day or get a new job. Also, ask yourself 2 questions: Are you stimulating them mentally as well? Can you hold up a meaningful conversation? Doing so is your responsibility in 50%.

[–]daymi0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Most women with an IQ of more than 115 don't spend much time in clubs and bars

I've met women who are neuroscientists in bars. They are living in the same city as everyone else--where else would they go for a fun night out? Maybe the bar scene is different for you, but in Vienna those are definitely also in bars.

[–]Sobinia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's why I said MOST women with an IQ of more than 115 don't spend MUCH time in clubs and bars. They have other ways to spend their time than just to get drunk and party.

[–]asorals1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most women don't have personality or substance because they don't need to. We will still impregnate them regardless of what comes out of their mouths.

[–]ImBackBitch9260 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well I'm not one of you guys. But every woman I've talked to about complex problems I have do not get it. I have never met a woman I felt really is smart like I find myself smart. But they have better easier lives though. They dont need to be smart or gain mental intelligence. They also seem to been through college of some sort so they do have good jobs. And they love to preach how they've had their own everything for so long and they worked for it all and done it all themselves.

[–]Wynnestone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Move on, basic bitch.

[–]proplfax0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

girls are just boring, man. their test levels are fucked and they're low energy. they aren't ambitious about shit because they have a vagina.

i think the best you can ask for from a woman is that she's a good listener- she knows how to ask and follow-up and at least pretend she's interested. you're asking too much otherwise. women aren't meant to be our friends.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K1844 points45 points  (3 children) | Copy

Goes both ways. So many dudes are just plain boring to girls.

One of my plates shows me the dozens upon dozens of fb and Snapchat msgs she gets. All the same boring fuckwits. Wanky poses in front of the mirror, them showing off their abs, really weak openers. She lets me fuck with them if I want a laugh and send a few msgs back. I'm astounded by how moronic these guys seem.

Genuine, unique and high value people aren't the norm, regardless of gender.

[–]i-am-the-prize17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

savage.

[–]RoccoPinkman11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

So that was you replying to me? Fuck! I feel dumb now. Just forget you saw that DM of my abs and flaccid penis.

Thnx

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao, yeah the dick pics are like 'wtf are you doing?'

Seriously, though. Heaps of guys complain women are all stupid but don't realise the majority of what guys offer.



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