I’ll come back and add my stats shortly - just hoping to get some thoughts while I’m doing a couple of chores real quick.
This is faggotry, and I know it, but I can’t get out of my own head and I can’t figure out if I’m entering Rambo territory. I’m thinking too much into this, but it’s where I’m at nonetheless.
Ive had a week of doing pretty damn good resetting, being fun, planning awesome family outings, flirting, hitting new personal bests in the gym... today, I’ve had some fun things planned and some chores planned, one of which is to clean out our cars. Now, her car smells like a milk exorcism has taken place in it due to the kid’s spilled cup last week- really fucking awful smell.
Just before I go out to get started cleaning, we’re in the kitchen flirting a bit, and I pick her up, and carry her to the bed. The denials are already starting, along with the groans, but not in a really playful tone, more annoyed. I start kissing, trying to get her sweater off, and I get the “I really don’t feel like this, I just want to watch tv and take a nap, please don’t and just lay down with me...” after a couple of times of her saying this, I say “na, I’m good, I’ve got too much to do. You do you though, I’ll catch up later.” Could have been better, but I at least didn’t seem super bothered.
Now, I’m cleaning out my car, obviously butt hurt in my head, wondering if doing stuff like cleaning out her horrendous car is an example of me doing shit to make mommy happy- I’m trying to stamp out these covert contracts, but it’s as if I’m deeper than I thought and can’t see a covert contract vs what I would be doing normally.
If I don’t, it’s very blatant butt hurt response, which will lead to that kind of conversation as to why I chose not to clean out her car after I said I would- we can have that convo, but I’m trying to figure out how to not come off butt hurt about the sex.
If I do clean it, I don’t know how else to start down the path of “I’m making great progress with myself, and I need to quit dancing to make her happy”...
Thoughts like this make me realize that I’m not progressing as fast as I thought- if I don’t ask on here, I’ll start obsessing and over thinking, and in the end I’m right back where I started in over-analyzing.