Days apart: woman stares at me at the gym, see her at local park the next week and stares at me at the park. I approach her and she tells me she has a bf. Why do women do this?

Reddit View
October 14, 2019

Stop giving choosing signals if you’re not interested. My approach was telling her I’ve seen her at the gym and asking her name, just shit any decent person would say.

Post Information
Title Days apart: woman stares at me at the gym, see her at local park the next week and stares at me at the park. I approach her and she tells me she has a bf. Why do women do this?
Author mixednerd
Upvotes 150
Comments 100
Date 14 October 2019 09:44 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev100 points101 points  (2 children) | Copy

Women tell you they have boyfriends for three reasons:

A. They actually have a boyfriend, and they’re trying to stay loyal to him and are warning you off.

B. They don’t have a boyfriend, but you do not meet their minimum SMV requirements, and they want you to fuck off.

C. It’s a form of anti-slut defense. So later they can hamster away things by thinking ”I told him I haz bf and he fucked me anyway, that big brute.”

[–]NeuroBoss317 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is also an option D: when they tell you they have a bf in a challenging way to see if you know how to play your cards right. At that point you still go in for the kill as she's ready to branch swing.

[–]five_eight3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agree, but I was going to go with: a. They're telling you they're "out there", dating, and available---so proceed as if they're single, b. They want to save you the trouble of proceeding, cause they're not available cause they're so hot---so proceed, c. What you said.

[–]newwinterleaves318 points319 points  (19 children) | Copy

Say “I barely just met you and you’re already telling me your problems” and move on.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev105 points106 points  (9 children) | Copy

Also: ”I don’t want to be your boyfriend.”

And: ”I have one too; he thinks I’m gay, but I’m not.”

[–]MYMOUTHISNUMmn 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy

I play around a variation of "my boyfriend broke up with me 'cause i'm gay" or " I have a boyfriend, but dont know how to tell him i'm gay."

[–]eddimioa4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I always say "that's alright, I'm not jealous."

[–]Standgrounding0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy


[–]VaN__Darkholme4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

bruh moment

[–]Standgrounding-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

I legit laughed at that response lol xd

[–]pratikka 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

That's the most retarded answer ever

[–]Standgrounding0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Aš if that was a bad thing

[–]nateydanger1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hello I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

[–]MotiMorphosys33 points34 points  (1 child) | Copy

Logging that for future usage.

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]EqualFaithlessness6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I love it

[–]EvelynnSpoiler12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

What a fucking incel-tier response. Do you guys even know what a shit test is anymore?

OP you should have agreed and amplified. If she says she has a boyfriend then reply with "I'm sure my husband won't mind either, what's your number?"

[–]jackandjill222 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

True, but he has a point why do they do this?

[–]YouWannaPutMoneyOnIt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is so gold lol

[–]NeuroBoss311 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the answer

[–]o_Oz8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

DO NOT MOVE ON! you’re wasting a perfectly good opening and she might even chuckle a bit IF (BIG FUCKING IF) you don’t come across as a total MAGA weirdo freak.

[–]newwinterleaves0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have to add. Move on if she doesn’t smile or chuckle. But I’d like to walk away and see if she’ll approach me.

[–]IXseed32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy

Too many reasons to list. We're programmed as humans to check out other humans we find attractive even if we are in relationships and shit.

[–]MasterShake77785 points86 points  (0 children) | Copy

"ha how long have you had that problem" then keep talking until she tells you to fuck off or walks away. Patience and persistence.

[–]no_condoments149 points150 points  (9 children) | Copy

Meh. Imagine this story from the other way around with a girl complaining "Why would a guy check me out if he already has a girlfriend?"

[–]AnneStaz108 points109 points  (1 child) | Copy

I fear that so many on this sub have zero calibration

[–]PandaLitter33 points34 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your fear is not baseless

[–]NikGrd53 points54 points  (1 child) | Copy

There is way too much focus on females function that we forget that a lot of the things we criticise women for are things that men do as well.

[–]FunnyCantaloupe20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s called an echo chamber; Reddit literally invented this other internet

[–]sehns32 points33 points  (4 children) | Copy

Because men and women are not the same. When a girls eye fucking you its an invitation to open. OP was subsequently shit tested and failed

[–]NikGrd21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wait, so if Im eyeing a girl thats not an IOI?

[–]sehns13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's an IOI, but it's not an invitation asking her to approach. That's the mans job.

[–]HectoSexual4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

This. The fact that this isn’t upvoted but the “muh equality” comment people even study red pill anymore, or are we just circlejerking at this point?

[–]AdeHMar5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not about equality you dumb fucking idiot, it's things that both men and women do. We are not 100 % different, we share common attitudes.

Stop being an autist, for the love of god.

[–][deleted] 40 points41 points  (8 children) | Copy

Women do this because they like you. Then you went over there and bombed her BF shit-test. You’re mad at her, but you should be mad at yourself. Just keep approaching and break down the BF barrier with at least a few more mins of flirting. It gets easier. If you don’t want a woman with a BF great - but at least pass the shit-test like a man and then excuse yourself.

[–]setsuna08 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

So if a woman says I have a bf I should stick around and flirt? Then bounce gracefully? I'm not being sarcastic. This is a genuine question.

[–]DarkJayBR13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Look, you wouldn't want a serious relationship with someone that cheats on her boyfriend, if all it took was basic flirt to her to agree to cheat on her bf, she will do the same with you. For casual sex? Yes! Why not? It is not you who are cheating. For LTR? No!

[–]setsuna00 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I had a friend fall into that trap. She cheated like 3 times and left him. (Surprise surprise)

[–]DarkJayBR1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If he had learned some red pill lessons he wouldn't be cheated on.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

The worst thing you can do is scurry off like a little bitch when she says she has a boyfriend. Handle it with grace and indifference. Also, some girls lie about having a boyfriend.

[–]setsuna00 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That makes sense. I never saw it as a barrier I could knock down. I'm going to start

[–]ArnoldT100017 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

What the fuck are these answers. It’s a shit test.


You lazy motherfuckers need to read the god damn sidebar.

[–]novalentineforyou11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just because she has a boyfriend doesn't mean she's not interested.

[–]FrozenTreeStump27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

Approach more. On to the next one

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen64 points65 points  (3 children) | Copy

Stop looking for cues and approach women you want to approach.

[–]JamesBondsOldBrother 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

I can’t believe the responses in this sub as of late. It’s obvious no one here except a few has read the side bar. There’s few like yours that pop up now. I don’t get why people can’t see that what she did was a shit test. This sub seems to be turning into “teenage relationship and dating advice”.

[–]throwawaybpdnpd8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I totally agree with you,

Just head over, it’s more dedicated members over there...

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who cares why they do it? Is it against the law to window shop even if you have no intention of going in the store?

Approach other women.

[–]Flintblood10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m finding out more and more each day her relationship status doesn’t matter. The only situations I absolutely walk away from are married women and when I know the boyfriend well. If I don’t know the guy, I’ll still talk but what she does after that is on her and not me.

[–]furcryingoutloud17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

Stop giving choosing signals if you’re not interested.

Read the fucking side bar and find out why this is a terrible response.

Shit test. What's funny is that this sub is what now, a teen dating advice forum? Only a couple of people have said it's a shit test. Some people here should really read the sidebar and get a little knowledge into their skulls before pretending to impart knowledge they don't have.

Read the fucking sidebar.

"I have a boyfriend" is the oldest response in the book. Probably on the first page of the red pill bible.

[–]__TheDon__5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

“That’s okay, I am not the jealous type”

“Sweet, he can make us breakfast the morning after”

Use whatever line you want. Make sure to throw a little smirk in there. Don’t be too serious and just have fun. Worst thing she can do is say no. Remember, reject is better than regret.

[–]thrwy754795 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's no such thing as a single girl. You're always competing against another guy, either her fantasy, or someone real, or a bunch of orbiters. There is always someone else, irrespective of how hot or ugly she may be.

If she has a real partner, then what she wants is plausible deniability so she can fuck around, or swing. She wants to be able to say, "it just happened," or, "I told him but he kept pushing. It's his fault," anything to absolve herself of responsibility so she can maintain her reputation.

Further, it shows that you don't care, and you're bold enough to go for what you want, which, in such a case, would be her. It also shows that you're woke, and know what the game is all about. Always assume attraction, and march forward. Even if you don't score right away, at least she's aware that you're a sexual guy, and you won't be part of her emotional tampon collection.

[–]mortalcoil15 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

No male has ever stared at a hot girl when they have a girlfriend. It's literally unheard of.

[–]Pockyaf4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

She probably have adhd and a staring problem

[–]Savior166613 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

On one hand, I wouldn't hit on girls at my gym, The Gym is a place of Worship and Praise to the Brodin, the AllSpotter and the other Gods of Iron.

On the other hand you approached her outside of a gym setting, which is great.

For the "IHAB" shit test, ignore, or defuse(shit test lists) If she's still talking to you then you're good, however, if she gets angry etc etc, then you leave.

You did pretty good approaching though, next time, just relax more. If you had taken into account all the Eye Hustlin' she was doing over the times you were meeting her, you'd have remembered that she gave you the go-ahead to approach.

However, I wouldn't approach her again at my gym, the gym is YOUR time, not some girl's I don't even like talking to other dudes at the gym unless I'm working in with em or they're spotting me.

[–]mixednerd[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very well said!

[–]drakehfh6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Simple shit test. "I have a girlfriend too...but don't tell that to my wife! I'm joking, I'm not that kind of guy... she already knows."

[–]AnneStaz39 points40 points  (8 children) | Copy

Be normal dude, "oh okay my bad I got the wrong signal" and just have normal conversation. Maybe shes cool and bonus she may have cute friends

[–]chaching1317 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

Good response. OP needs to realize this isn’t rocket science.

[–]mixednerd[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah her staring at me various times and me approaching her was totally the wrong thing to do.

[–]chaching13131 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy

No not the wrong thing to do at all. You made the right move, I’m just saying to not overthink it, there’s a million reasons she could’ve said it. Maybe it’s a shit test, in which case you ignore and chat up anyway. Maybe she wasn’t staring at you and you imagined it. Maybe she lost interest once she saw you up close. Maybe she’s psychotic. No way for anyone here to know and it’s best to brush it off and making polite conversation is an easy way to do that. This way if it is a shit test she’ll see how your not phased by it and you might be in luck. If not, at the least you make a new friend by being polite and maybe she has some even hotter friends you might get introduced to.

[–]Crediting 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Apologize? hahahaha yeah.

[–]AnneStaz0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Go to mgtow

[–]Crediting 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I guess arguing for why apologizing yields the most profits, is too hard for you.

[–]AnneStaz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry :(

[–]MR_SKINNYPENIS692 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You should've done the ole whip-dick. Whip out dick and let the cards fall where they may.

[–]NobodyP112 points13 points  (6 children) | Copy

Lot of witty lines here I like to use “so your bf doesn’t let you talk to other people”

[–]craneonacrane-5 points-4 points  (5 children) | Copy

This is a great line

[–]GonadGravy19 points20 points  (4 children) | Copy

That isn’t a “great line”. It’s literally what every guy who has zero charm or originality says! When I worked as a bartender I heard this dozens and dozens of times...always by the same type of guys.

Either come up something even remotely witty or ignore the bf comment and keep talking.

[–]craneonacrane5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Hey let a rookie (me) learn from scratch

[–]GonadGravy9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

By all means, enjoy the steep learning curve.

The other issue once you use it you are now talking about her boyfriend. Her attention should be on you, not her “relationship”...or else she’s found a new beta to talk about her bf problems with.

[–]craneonacrane5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

How 'bout "Then let's keep the bf talk out of the way. 's been a while huh?"

[–]GonadGravy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The first parts decent, I’d drop the ‘been a while’ part

It’s less what you say, then how you say it and what you follow up with. Don’t overthink it.

[–]Kn312 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wtf is this shit,. No one reads the sidebar? "Why do women do this" LOLLLL damn idk uhh hypergamy that's the whole premise of trp. I swear this shit gets more soy everyday. 90% are who don't read anything and keep asking the same stupid shit.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

For some reason, I imagined this when originally reading the OP: "You are the one that stares at me."

[–]4thAndLong1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"I have a boyfriend" is a shit test.

You could have passed it.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop giving choosing signals if you’re not interested. My approach was telling her I’ve seen her at the gym and asking her name, just shit any decent person would say.

She's interested/attracted despite bf. Women are instinctive and not helpful to you or logical in what they seek. It's just how they are.

[–]KillaJewels1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, that's just the auto-response for every female getting approached. Sometimes it's true, but generally it's safe to assume it's not.

[–]Flintblood1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Think of it this way. Maybe she is establishing operating parameters up front. She could be interested in a side situation but wants you to know up front that she can’t commit.

I’ve had girls vibe with me a lot and drop big IOIs after previously telling me they have a long distance boyfriend. My mistake in the past was backing off getting awkward, and not letting things happen organically because I simply heard the BF word.

[–]bodybuilder981 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She wants to see if you have the a) guts to cold approach and b) game to pass her shit test and snatch her away from her "boyfriend". She's yearning for someone to break the monotonous life she's currently living.

Why is it so hard for guys to understand?

[–]champuradopapi3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Next time just say “Cool, he can be your BF and I be your man-friend ;)”

[–]mrmaika105 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read the sidebar and actually successfully fuck a woman with a boyfriend before you give advice. The best response is not a witty comeback, but to ignore the “IHAB” right off the bat. “I saw you at the gym and thought I would say hi” “I have a boyfriend” “oh cool. So where are you from?”

[–]exscionewhuman2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good time for fake it to make it. Pretend you have too much sex. Pretend you have a mission that you dream about and keeps you up at night because you think you have a shot of making a difference, making a lot of people happy. Tired. Bored of silly feelings. There's that one girl you brushed off today. Stopped that other girl from giving you a blowjob last night because meh. A girl is looking at you. Uh... so?

Boil it down, you noticed her staring, it's still on your mind, she broke your frame. Find a mission no one can break. Believe it or not, it's installed already. It's inside you. Just have to find it.

Pussy is a bonus. Knowing who you are and having a purpose is a must.

[–]yansydney0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe try approaching girls who arent making eye contact that's maybe why they are still single😢😭

[–]crkdopn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't think it warrants a post on this sub but we should all know to at least approach and say hi. That's the least we can do and even if you bomb, trying and failing is better than not trying and regretting.

[–]mustache_ride_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Because you had something in your teeth.

[–]Crixusgannicus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ok time for some higher level/Dark Side Red Pill.

A woman telling you she has a bf or asking if you have a gf it is NOT automatically game over.

There are women who will ONLY fuck guys who have a gf.


There are women who will ONLY fuck guys who are MARRIED.

When one has been ey balling you and then says she's married or has a boyfriend she might be willing to trade up or just wants some side action. On the downside, she might just be using you for attention. Only way to find out is to find out.

Now anytime this happens and you are willing to "Embrace the Dark Side" keep going and explore what she's thinking, feeling, wanting, further. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Keep in mind though it's something over 50% likely it's too late with that particular one from your OP. Still you could shoot your shot at exploring with that one. It'll be educational.

[–]razenha0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why men who have girlfriends or wives stare at other women?

[–]821sleepingbag0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hahaha that’s great and original

[–]beefstockcube-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

“Ha, I was asking your name, I’m polite. I wasn’t asking you in a date. I’m OP” walk away.

[–]astonboi01-5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy

‘I’ve got a boyfriend too’ or ‘Do you want an upgrade’ whilst maintaining strong eye contact, tell her your name and leave.

[–]FlyingSexistPig-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

"what's your man got to do with me?"

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2021. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter