[20M] Starting to see what you guys mean

Reddit View
October 15, 2019

I went out on a date a couple weeks ago and it went well for the most part. Made out and had a lot of fun. I know it isn’t a big deal for you guys but it’s been awhile since I kissed a girl. We took it back to my apartment and since I’m pretty inexperienced I had no clue what to do. We were making out in my bed and I tried pulling her pants down and she didn’t want that. So after 10 min of more making out I tried fingering her and she pulled my hand away. Ok she doesn’t wanna fuck so I stopped. Later when I asked her out for a 2nd date she says she doesn’t like how I touched on her and we should just be friends.

Ngl I’ve had bad oneitis over her for awhile now, but recently I found out that there’s a video going around of her and some frat boys. Lol. She didn’t like me escalating while on top of me in my bed but she’s ok with getting rammed on camera? Why am I still holding on to this blue pill fantasy, someone please snap me out of it. I can’t keep living my life like this

Post Information
Title [20M] Starting to see what you guys mean
Author Zero_Gravvity
Upvotes 310
Comments 152
Date 15 October 2019 01:29 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/290720
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/di7x89/20m_starting_to_see_what_you_guys_mean/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
the blue pill

[–]throaway69404313 points314 points  (25 children) | Copy

Ngl, didnt see the last part coming. If you can, post her video here or PM so we can analyze wheter shes worth the effort or not.

[–]187oddfuture36 points37 points  (1 child) | Copy

Big facts

[–]alikebabay37 points38 points  (0 children) | Copy

Big data!

[–]brique87960 points61 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]mickenrorty16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]PandaLitter20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy

Please post that juicy link

[–]throaway6940423 points24 points  (2 children) | Copy

Cant you wait? OP's in a confused rn. Even though he wont get this girl, let's give him some time.

Then we can have our fun.

[–]PandaLitter39 points40 points  (1 child) | Copy

those frat boys didn't need to wait to run a train on a girl that wouldn't even let him stick a finger in there

[–]throaway6940416 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Feel bad for OP tbh. Even a thot didnt help in taking his virginity.

u/pandalitter would appreciate if you can PM OP your moms number. She would finally help him take his virginity. Help a brother in need.

[–]mickenrorty2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]PattyFlash4MePls0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy


[–]throaway694041 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy


[–]PattyFlash4MePls4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’m honoured you replied, now gladly kys

[–]throaway694040 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Considering how mad OP must be on me, I think he will gladly do it.

[–]Hace_XVIII0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Seriously tho😂

[–]NoMoreUncontrollable-3 points-2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Where is the link

[–]MR_SKINNYPENIS6943 points44 points  (8 children) | Copy

Man I wish I'd discovered TRP at 20.

[–]Andgelyo16 points17 points  (6 children) | Copy

You don’t to go online to figure all this shit out. If you had naturally red pill family members or friends, you would be 14 and figuring it all out already. TRP just solidifies everything I’ve been told by my dad and uncles as well as high school friends.

[–]clickherebaby28 points29 points  (5 children) | Copy

"Oh if you had..." well most didnt you dumbass

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon103 points104 points  (23 children) | Copy


You've been reading too many reddit help forums, and mostly they are not acting in your best interests.

she says she doesn’t like how I touched on her and we should just be friends.

It is vital at this point that you understand what she really means here. This is harsh, but I'm going to tell you and I hope you take this well.

This means "I do not find you attractive and therefore do not want sexual contact with you". There is nothing wrong with how you touched her, and you did things exactly right but with the wrong girl. This is important because I don't want you to think you shouldn't sexually escalate with girls because "they don't like it". They do... they really really do... but only from men they find attractive at the time.

She isn't telling you this because it sounds awful and will stop you being a useful orbiter. The LJBF speech means "not attracted" and you have to understand that so that you can take the right steps next.

Bad conclusions: girls don't like sex, you should be friends with girls, you shouldn't sexually escalate.

You did the right thing: escalate to find out. Now you know.

Good conclusions: much time has been saved here because you've called her bluff and got your answers. NEXT.

She didn’t like me escalating while on top of me in my bed but she’s ok with getting rammed on camera?

Yes, this is how it works. She complains about you but not about them.

Fundamentally this is about attraction and context... you either failed to demonstrate attraction or you demonstrated provider behaviour (this triggers LMR, decreases attraction, pegs you as a beta).

Why am I still holding on to this blue pill fantasy, someone please snap me out of it. I can’t keep living my life like this

Because you don't have anything better.

When you live by TRP and it starts to work for you, you'll never look back

[–]askmrcia32 points33 points  (13 children) | Copy

Question for you. If the girl didn't find him attractive, why did she go back to his place and make out with him?

I had similar experience where a girl literally gave me head but got turned off when trying to go further. I think what really happened was that girl had a boyfriend or someone else she was really interested in and felt guilty so she pulled LMR/ASD.

That or OP fucked up by saying something to ruin the mood.

[–]Zero_Gravvity[S] 29 points30 points  (8 children) | Copy

Haha yeah I probably ruined the mood come to think of it. I was very nervous and it probably came off in a lot of ways. Especially me trying to get Netflix working on my dumb tv for 10 minutes. Keep in mind this is before I pulled her on top of me, but by then she was probably thinking of ways to get out of my room.

Part of me wishes I would’ve gotten more experience in high school like all my friends, but I guess you gotta learn it at some point.

[–]askmrcia21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't worry about it. I was in you shoes at one point. Eventually you'll get more comfortable the more practice you have. You're ahead of me as I was making mistakes at 24 lol.

[–]youcantstopmyzed35 points36 points  (2 children) | Copy

“Especially me trying to get Netflix working on my dumb tv for 10 minutes.”


[–]Standgrounding0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Chill out man 😂 not everybody is tech savvy

[–]Snowaey0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah.. I feel sorry for the dude, he doesn't know what he's doing lmao

[–]thy_shall_win4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Trying to over complicate it with the netflix thing. Obviously you was nervous but if you really felt the need for some background noise and netflix wasn't working then you should have just resorted to youtube for music in future.

[–]Nergaal4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

that's why you practice a lot and get over your failures. only thing that's important is to do better next time.

[–]thrwy754792 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I pulled her on top of me

Seems like an odd move.

[–]ZeppKfw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Same shit happened to me. We've all done this OP lol don't beat yourself up.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

If the girl didn't find him attractive, why did she go back to his place and make out with him?

A> Because at that point he was a maybe. Subsequent behaviour changed that to a no.

B> Because she thought it was just a friends thing

C> LMR due to provider or other unattractive behaviour, or shit test failed.

D> attention.

[–]UriahTheChosen6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea could have said something, could have moved to fast and come off as desperate, could be anything.

OP just keep trying you are on the right road.

[–]FillySapper0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Attention & Validation. Someone made a post how they tried hitting on a girl his best friend knew. Turns out this girl was 'celibate' and led dudes on as a power move.

[–]Zero_Gravvity[S] 11 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy

Wow, awesome comment dude. I mean, we made out and SHE’S the one who wanted to see my apartment. I wonder what I did to lose attraction that fast so I can avoid it in the future. If you have a girl in your room ready to fuck, what are your tips to not blow it?

[–]RelativeTeal20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who knows, but this seems like it could be a bunch of potential blind spots that can only be hashed out by more experience... fretting over a rejection isn’t going to help, but stepping up your game and dominant control over situations will. It’s true; maybe you weren’t dominant enough for her to feel the sexual escalation strategy you attempted.

[–]ElegantCyclist8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Chicks are random and once you internalize this fact a lot of things make sense.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not sure she was as ready to fuck as she might have given the impression.

What else happened? Are you sure she's single?

[–]asorals1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women will change their mind at the drop of a hat. Maybe it was something you said, who knows. Try to not worry about the why too much just focus on practicing your game and bettering yourself as a man. I know that can be hard, I still sometimes get caught up on "why" or "how" I fucked up. Your time can be better spent.

[–]Self-honest0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you had been around a bunch of really masculine guys who you were attracted to, then you were around nervous you, who was basically forcing her to take the male role by pulling her on top of you instead of getting on top of her, you would see a start difference and get turned off too.

[–]asorals6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is why I love TRP and it needs to stay. I wish I had gotten this type of advice when I was 20 years old. You can't get this advice from friends who are still plugged into the blue pill BS.

Count yourself lucky that you have found TRP at such a young age OP.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wish I had gotten this type of advice when I was 20 years old


[–]ArcangeloPT91 points92 points  (26 children) | Copy

There can be a lot of reasons for her not wanting to go all the way. I usually try at least 3-4 times to take her pants off with warm ups in between. If she ultimately refuses then I just stop and go do something else (work, cook, read...) while she is around. If she’s really into it she’ll usually come around and resume but if not, just forget it and go pursue other girls.

You said that she didn’t like the way you fingered her, not that you fingered her at all. Maybe your technique is off?

Anyway, every time you’re with a girl you have to be prepared to go all the way. Even if she refuses it’s always better to be the one who went as far as possible than not doing it at all.

[–]Zero_Gravvity[S] 43 points44 points  (17 children) | Copy

Nah she wouldn’t let me finger her. I think the fact that I tried to finger her is what irked her. I guess I just misread the situation (even though she was on top of me...) or took it too fast. Point is, I really want to get over this blue pill mindset. I shouldn’t even be this fixated on one girl. I know deep down you guys are right but it seems like such a hard pill to swallow, life seems so...miserable thinking the way you guys do if I’m honest. I’ve always wanted a loving, honest relationship with a girl but I’m starting to wonder if that’s even possible or is it even worth it?

[–]Dark_Omikron62 points63 points  (7 children) | Copy

Dude there are definetely other things worth in life, especially more worth to pursue than having a relationship. There are a lot of people who are still unhappy even in a relationship and they feel that their personal life is missing something crucial. And thats whats missing is a goal in life, a profession/passion to burn for and hone as a craft. If you see a craft and improving yourself as a human being more worthy than banging women, then you can truly be content in the longrun. Happiness is something fleeting and pointless to cling onto. It is a byproduct of your actions and actions leading to your inner personal growth lead to happiness. Keep going

[–]Zero_Gravvity[S] 29 points30 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yes you are exactly right. I keep chasing intimacy and sex thinking that’s gonna fill some hole in me but it won’t. And coincidentally it only chases women away. I need a fucking purpose in life that gives me joy. I keep chasing validation in other people, and I’ve been doing it most of my life. I don’t know where I learned that shit but I really want to unlearn it.

[–]juggernaut_child12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hey trust me, it started to kick in how pointless women chasing can be after I lost my virginity and a few girls later. You’re basically jacking off into another human that’s usually dumber and crazier than you. Outside of that, what’s the point? Reality kicked in once I had two LTRs and I was still jacking off. (Double life game is a fun thing of its own btw but that’s a story for another time. Read HumanSockPuppet’s bitch management guide) I stopped really trying and I keep an LTR around for the occasional nut and oxytocin. Maybe it’s my version of monk mode, and everyone around me assumes I’m just settling down, but no, I’m just trying to grow more as a person before I run off and have another wild rebel phase more potent than the first one. I’m not in denial about the fact I want to do some fuckshit and run a harem again; it’s just a time/place/money thing where I need more to life than just pounding whores.

Free your time, dig around philosophically within, experiment with hobbies, and direct your drive into something that gives your life new meaning and alters your lifestyle.

[–]iwanttoracecars2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dang man, I feel this on another level.. My most recent "rebel" phase has lead to me crashing on friends' couches at 25 and I have a $50k/yr+ job. Save money kids, and don't waste it all partying. I wish I didn't 🙄

[–]babybopp10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

also another very simple explanation that eludes a lot of inexperienced dudes... she might just be on her period. that simple. ask her when she wants to go out. let her plan it.

[–]dzkkne7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just fucked a girl on first date, she had a period. Not a problem.

That girl would have told him that she is on a period as it is an easy excuse.

My bet is that because he is a virgin she could see that from his actions, wasn’t progressing the correct way and weirded her out. I can picture it, when you kiss a girl and all of a sudden try to finger her - instant ASD. Have to do it right and get her in to the mood first. Speaking from experience..

[–]1984Survivor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

i was searching 4 this comment, can't believe ppl are finding different explanations to her Actions lol

[–]PythonInterp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude there are definetely other things worth in life, especially more worth to pursue than having a relationship

Like anal?

[–]mabden13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve always wanted a loving, honest relationship with a girl

If a girl is unwilling to fuck you, she is unwilling to get into a relationship with you - other than a beta orbiter "friend."

> We took it back to my apartment and since I’m a virgin I had no clue what to do.

DiCarlo Escalation Ladder.

> she wouldn’t let me finger her

Next time, especially with girl on top, go from behind, i.e. hands roam from ass cheeks to crotch to thighs and back. Fleeting at first, then lingering more and more with each pass. Also small of the back is an erotic zone for chicks.

[–]ArcangeloPT10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

No way man, when I escalate the fingering is something that I almost always do and if she’s into going to town with you, she won’t refuse, trust me.

As for the hard pill to swallow, that’s life. I also used to be concerned with having a nice, stable relationship but we all know that there’s no finish line, no point in time where you can just sit in your armchair and relax because you have a steady relationship. Even if you do if that’s your wish, you always have to be on top of your game, be it in relationship terms or at work or spiritually.

Think of it as a journey, not a destination. Meet more girls, see what works for you and what doesn’t and eventually you’ll see that women are just women and that’s that.

[–]KillaJewels5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s possible and worth it. You’ll go through many girls before you find one worthwhile.

But don’t be so hard on yourself. That’s not a bitch you want a LTR with.

[–]Andrew543211 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What blue pill mindset? Blue pill or not you sound like an inexperienced lover. Therefore your goal is to get experience.

Sounds like you fucked up by being too eager to open up her salami sammy.

Without details of how it went down, it sounds like you went from making out on your bed to finger blasting. If so, then you need to research the escalation ladder.

Since I am personally going to improve the average response here...

A good rule of thumb is if you have to touch her on an area of her body while it is clothed before you can touch it unclothed.

[–]Xeloda850 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

She just wanted to use you. She sees you as a beta male. You fucked up somewhere along the way. Figure it out

[–]Howdoiusesync0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hey dude, no worry about it. Tbh what it could of really been was that A.) She had her ASD or whatever B.) You were pushing a bit too much, foreplay is all about tension and release not just 0-1000000.

Good job getting her out to your place.

In due time just know where and how to turn a woman on since foreplay is what makes them OZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[–]SowReap0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You were in a submissive position (under her) and tried a dominant move (fingering her), you broke the narrative.

[–]KarmicPrism6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This there's a way to finger chicks. Don't be too rough, go slow and deep but don't press hard etc. Reach that little bean shaped ribbed button on the inside and slowly massage it. Look up techniques online if the sort there's soen good ones out there just litteraly don't be too rough right iff the bat, let it slide in without applying much pressure until you get the hang of it.

[–]BlackRealist543212 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

it’s always better to be the one who went as far as possible than not doing it at all.

Disagree. Witholding your validation can be very powerful. Letting her know that you want her but are in zero rush like all rhe other guys who want to bust a fat nut. I have had far more results making women want it and Witholding affection for a certain time. Like if I'm making out, I'll literally just go to another room and start doing something else, as if nothing ever happened. Aggressively pursuing sex and makING out is too much validation; make her want it.

[–]ArcangeloPT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I get what you’re saying. It’s all about calibration and a proper read of the situation. I also think that withholding works differently on different personalities from my experience. Some girls will be like “How can he not want me that bad?” while others will be “Well I thought you really wanted it”. Either way, some situations are easier to read than others, experience is key and this is a step in the right direction for OP.

[–]jackandjill221 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

After you see enough OP you'll realize it's not as bad as you think it is. Reality is terrible overall so the realism regarding relationships will just seem like another brick in the wall of life.

[–]o_Oz2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

That last sentence can land you a good 5-10 years in prison...in Europe. I imagine in America they chop your nuts off with a helicopter or some other barbarian shit

[–]1redhawkes1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That last sentence can land you a good 5-10 years in prison...in Europe.

Bullshit, only if you're uncalibrated sperg.

[–]ArcangeloPT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I live in Europe. And of course I’m not talking about doing something she doesn’t want to do. I’m talking about being persistent, girls need a way to justify their acts, plausible deniability.

[–]currysoslutavuk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I read a book and searched shit load of thongs about fingering and when i tried my skilld first time she get wet and second time she is just getting wet more and more and when i want to take my pants off she stoped me. That's suprised me a lot i got rejected by 4/10 girl like i'm really suprised. Whatever fingering is not working with me is there a guiede to make her suck me off?

[–]DWS33_45 points46 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lollll she wouldn’t fuck you but gets rammed by frat boys? consider this a blessing in disguise considering you had oneitis for a slut 😂. you live and you learn bro

[–]69weed42019 points20 points  (4 children) | Copy

She had last minute resistance my guy. Forget about her you couldn't seal the deal. Read sex God method for some tips on escalating and getting women turned on.

[–]LSDparade2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

wheres the link for this please? :)

[–]PerplexingPegasus_9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

[–]good-afternoon 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Link is broken, "Apache is functioning normally"

It's in this subreddit OP search it up

[–]PerplexingPegasus_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good call, I’ll try to find a new link to update this.

[–]RedSkeller23 points24 points  (2 children) | Copy

She's probably so much more sexually experienced being a slore in college that she knew you weren't and it turned her off, not to mention asking her out for the second date while you're on the first one tells her you have no options and are needy/desperate which is a huge turn off. Don't dwell on it negatively, use it as momentum to meet the next girl, forget about this one, she is very low quality and a dime a dozen.

[–]IndiansSmellLikePoo1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

OP read this man. The exact reason why this went down.

[–]RedVelocitiy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I second this.

[–]7inchnofapper31 points32 points  (7 children) | Copy

You still have oneitis after finding out about her getting fucked by multiple men on camera?? Haha please tell me I read that wrong

[–]Zero_Gravvity[S] 16 points17 points  (6 children) | Copy

No I found that out yesterday, I did have oneitis before then for like weeks though. I think that’s the point, I guess I’m just tired of thinking the way I do about women. Like, deep down no matter what I portray I’m a needy beta in every aspect of my life. Feels like I can never undo this

[–]7inchnofapper7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ooh I see. You're still young so I'm assuming you're relatively new to trp, I'm sure with time as you really improve yourself you will become less needy. However, I havent applied trp to my life nearly as much as I shouldve so I'm not one to give advice.

[–]Monkitail3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m not quite understanding this situation in it’s entirety. Could you post a link to video so we can dig a little deeper please?

[–]Mikejonz1110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oneitis basically tells her you’re a constant source of attention/validation. Maybe she thought that if you had sex with her that you’d just leave like the “other” guys. If you let a girl understand that she doesn’t need to do much to get your validation she’ll rather keep it that way and keep you chasing like a tamed dog. Aside from all this bullshit, pursue career/financial freedom etc - also lift hit the gym. If she sees she’ll regret swerving you and crawl back. And don’t be one of those guys that go MIA the second they get a girlfriend.

[–]throaway694040 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

She probably likes getting rammed up by a couple of guys, and didnt want to fuck you alone? How about you bring your boys and have the time of your life with her- since you are so desperate.

[–]thy_shall_win3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Jesus christ, give it a rest. The only desperate one here from the sounds of it is you. OP well done, you gave it a go.

[–]throaway694042 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You cant improve your delivery of jokes until you learn to take one

[–]Classic_Touch6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

She either was not that into you. Or she saw you as LTR material.

[–]PhaedrusHunt10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also I'll need a copy of the video for research purposes.

[–]xKalista 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

she was attracted to you and had anti slut defense which is the hardest part of getting laid. It takes emotional intelligence as well as wxperiencr to grt aroind it

[–]Caprimelon0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Could you please explain your first sentence more?

[–]ProFriendZoner5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oneitis is a lack of abundance. If you can get a woman to make out with you, you can get MORE women to make out with you. Don't let trying to get that particular notch stop you from getting other notches on your belt.

Her: "We should be friends"

You: "Thanks but I have enough friends. If you change your mind, let me know. Otherwise, see you around"


[–]821sleepingbag5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

The simple fact is there are a lot of factors outside of your control that make a chick want or not want to fuck you. Maybe she was on her period, maybe she was recently raped/assaulted. It really shouldn’t matter to you.

The whole mindset of trp is, if you get rejected move on and use it as a lesson.

Be honest with yourself, how could you improve, how could you do better. Try and take lessons from the experience. Next time you get the opportunity put your newly learned lessons into practice and you should see a difference.

Perhaps you need to be smoother about it, get her in bed first, tease her so she begs for it etc etc

[–]ReaperX444 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Every heard of rubbing her thighs first? Jesus kid. You just don't finger bang the bitch when the pussy is still cold. Smh.

[–]Zero_Gravvity[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lol, bro I had no clue what I was doing, it was awkward af. If you have some tips for what I could do next time I’d really appreciate that tho

[–]ReaperX447 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Kissing on the neck, rubbing her elbows, slight nibble on the ear. Keep doing it until she is begging for you to take you pants off. It's all about patience man. I won't even be surprised if she felt like she was being raped by the way you went about it.

[–]PiperBigBell3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think I can offer you some help here. Strangely, I've been running into more and more girls who say they don't want to be fingered. The shit is weird to me. They'll still let me eat them out and fuck them silly, but fingers weird them out for some reason. I don't fuck chicks on a formula but I can tell you what I do, and many others, that gets results. First off, sex talk and expectations should be set long before you start pulling her pants off or kissing. Her mind needs to already be there.

Once we've gotten pleasant small talk out of the way and she knows I'm not a serial killer, the conversation is shifted towards fun crazy adventures we have. Emotionally exciting stuff. Crazy weird places we've had sex. Our favorite positions. Our first kiss. Weirdest turn ons and turn offs. Our favorite positions. What makes each other cum. How many people we've slept with and exchanging experiences about different horror and success stories. I'm teasing and flirting heavily and gauging her body language to see how into what I'm saying she is.

We're talking about if she's on birth control. Talking about her dark fantasies. This conversation needs to feel super casual and non-judgemental. Most of all FUN and free of outcome. Like you've had this talk a thousand times before. It should feel like you've heard it all before. If I'm not escalating with lips then I'm talking dirty to her in a fun way. So if I'm going to pull her pants down like you were trying to,

I'm going to have a reason behind it she won't have an objection to. I'll say something like, as I'm about to pull her pants down, "I bet you taste like fucking cotton candy. I'm gonna be the best cone you ever had! Can you hear the music girl? The carnival is in town." Obviously you would say this with a certain energy. But let's say I'm going to kiss her. I usually go for it once I sense the sexual tension. But I might say something like, "Your lips look like cute little pillows. Maybe in some fantasy weird they'd make a great resting place for mine . . . Or food. Do you like food? I love food. I knew your lips looked like strawberry."

Or if I'm gonna grab her ass, I'll just be dominant and curious. I'll look at her side ways like I'm lost and say, "Stand up". Whatever response she usually gives. "Just stand up." Response. "Spin around really quick" response. "I just wanted to see how your curves measured up to your ass. And surprisingly your ass looks really good. Come here girl."

Summary. Sir. Dirty talk, sexual conversation, and telegraphing are so so important. It could really all be so easy. When you set the stage by bringing out her whore long before you do it physically, you don't judge her, you make it casual and common, you don't really get resistance. And you get to find out long before escalate whether she's really into it by her responses to you. I'm not saying beta your way their by asking for straight consent. But you gotta get creative and stop taking this shit so serious. I used to be where you are. Virginity is just a mental road block and label. After the first time, all the bullshit your mind tells you will go away.

[–]idontmiind2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thing is life has dealt you very soft blows so far and you're fortunate to have these problems and not wors3. Be thankful that this didnt happen to the wife of your 3 kids who stopped giving you poon 3yrs ago. Go out meet other women Find a mission in life and fill your hearts big void withh that Pinch your emotions for the time being and ride this one out. Don't be a beta now.

[–]McVaghunter2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If a girl doesn't find you attractive enough, she'll pull up a LMR for the silliest reasons (like not respecting kino stages, the color of your socks, etc...). It's like someone you hate at your workplace, every fucking thing he does annoys you, while the exact same actions would never bother you if done by someone you like.

You learned you lesson; AWALT, there are no innocent girls, every single girl is slut (in a positive way) for the right man. She didn't give a fuck how the frat dude touched her because she already liked him.

Improve your SMV and find girls who think you're the right man.

[–]northernCAgrown2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Start by reading the Rationale Male or No More Mr Nice Guy

[–]Heybuddyyyyyy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Try to be more in moment bc she may have sensed your emotions when getting rejected. Don't think just know what you gotta do.

[–]Fiendorfoes1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It sounds like you don’t need to be snapped out of it, you already know you want change. Just go back to all the basic rules of being rp’ed. And do yourself a favor, watch that video a bunch of times, not to get off, but so that you can laugh at yourself for being so stuck on a woman. Keep doing things that will benefit you, get yourself right and the rest will come. No shame bro, just go over the sidebar again, and don’t idolize loosing your virginity, it’s not a huge achievement, but we all have to learn at our own pace.

[–]NoMoreUncontrollable1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have been reading the comments. They say move on and learn from that experience but when he asks what he could have done he does get an answer. They just tell him move on. Isn't that contradictory?

[–]AnneStaz1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't get bitter man, there's some good and some bad redpill lessons. Take all this PUA/Seduction/Redpill stuff with a grain of salt. Understand that women are not some opponent you are battling with, and women are a lot different creatures than you are as a man so don't take it to heart when you don't understand. They are wired differently

[–]Caprimelon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best advice I have seen here. You know I love reading a lot of this stuff but most of it is bullshit.

[–]ngyuhnang1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The rational male has talked about this, if she really likes you, she won’t make it hard for you to bang her. So move on and find another girl.

[–]Lateralanouncer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro. You have a crush on a slut that likes to be gang banged by a bunch of dudes. If you stay bp give her a few more years and you can be captain save a hoe. Or if you go trp. Work on yourself and one day you may not even want her on your rotation.

[–]1XXXMersenne1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's because, from the way you've described it, you felt awkward in the escalation.

"I had no clue what to do"

This feeling was then transferred onto the girl who put the brakes on it for obvious reasons.

You're probably still holding onto the princess fantasy of girls being innocent and faggoty like BP dudes. Drop it. All girls love sex & love to get fucked. Just work off of that assumption and you'll quickly gather evidence of its being the case and it won't remain an assumption for very long.

Anyways there are some guys who made the Cream of the Crop content on all this shit but have precautionarily taken down their YT videos with the coming xxxth wave of BluePill censorships.

Luckily I downloaded 350+ of their videos in MP3 in case anything like this every happened.

Here is a relevant one.

Strapped for time when writing this otherwise would dig for more and upload em. Look forward to edits.

[–]PhaedrusHunt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be the one on top next time. Only let a woman on top once you have frame.

[–]Jesusfeminist1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You gotta go slower. Kiss her neck, go down to the chest, no nipples YET. On she the back of her shoulders, get her begging for it

[–]BajaGhia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mental note. 20 year old pussies are ridiculously sensitive. Or at least they should be. If it isnt, you prolly want to put that down as a possible flag. Red or green is up to you.

You dont really need to finger a girl, especially as part of early relations sex rituals.

Get your hand on the inside of her thigh and work your way up, she'll be fine.

Sheesh, kids these days. "Hang on, gotta put some 2 cycle in the anal intruder for our first date."

[–]rockyp320 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She was def interrsted but something happened for whatever reason could be anything. Maybe u were too rough or since ur inexperienced it came off in ur body language

[–]Imaginary_Historian0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would not try again with this one. Find another girl. She's a slut, not worth your energy. But even if she wasn't a slut, you are better off starting fresh with another girl than trying to recover from being friendzoned.

If this one contacts you again, I would do yourself a favor and tell her you are disgusted with her because of the video and want no further contact.

[–]PutlockerAndChill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You didn’t escalate enough, take it back a notch then work your way up. Any girl making out on top of you after a date clearly Dosent just want to be your friend. Turn girls on more and watch them turn to goo.

[–]blacksage810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I feel for you, but at the end of the day only you can figure out how to get rid of your oneitis. If your that desperate to lose your virginity, perhaps an hooker may be in order, or make popular male, or female friends and asked to be introduced to someone. Cougars and Gym rats are also options. Strategize, use the most powerful weapon at your disposal, your brain. Whatever you do, don't get caught in your feelings, because, speaking from experience, its a downward spiral of negative emotions.

I lost my V-card at 20, and the girl knew I had no idea what I was doing. I met her through another woman who I tried and failed to bang, and the girl I got with made me wait (3 months). I rationalized it, got over my impatience, and focused on myself. Eventually it came, and it was ok

Many moons, and sexual partners later I learned this: "Pussy, there is very little variance in how it feels from woman to woman when you fuck it." Your time will come, but you need mentally ready (i.e project confidence and NEVER appear desperate), or you stand a chance to scare her off with you inexperience

[–]Cientocincuenta0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There was attraction at some point, or she wouldn't have made out with you in the first place. Maybe she smelled the neediness, and that put out the fire between her legs.

[–]mickenrorty0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Should have gone for the ol massage swap technique, she doesn’t want to consciously submit, it needs to come naturally

[–]Casanova-Quinn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Based on your story, I see two potential reasons why it didn’t work.

  1. You didn’t escalate properly. You shouldn’t go from making out right to pulling her pants off and fingering her. You need to slow down and add some steps. Girls like foreplay. Make out, feel her tits/ass, take off her shirt, feel her more, take off her bra, feel her more, then go for the pants.

  2. You didn’t come across as alpha enough. If she’s getting railed by the frat house (lol) she’s not looking for a gentle nice guy.

[–]idontevenlift370 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe try to build up to it more slowly next time? Like do some more foreplay with your hands before going for it. I know it’s tough when girls play hard to get, like she doesn’t want to fuck but she’s on top of you on your bed? Makes a lot of sense...

[–]JackStraw19720 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Next time you see around just walk past her like she isn’t even there not in a im ignoring you way more of a I don’t acknowledge you kind of way. If she asks why you aren’t interested anymore tell her it’s because you don’t want a girl who lets herself get filmed fucking a frat house

[–]ImBackBitch9260 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What's up with the beta simp women defenders in the comments. It's easy to determine what happened. She had a little fun with you but didnt want to fuck you. Women can have mixed feelings about a guy. Do I like him or not? She wasnt really into you. But she was really into the other guy she let fuck on video.

[–]mikayla_rivera0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes it’s better to take to it slow, not go on a date with them and sleep with them on the first go. Get to know them and be their friend, flirt as well but don’t pressure them. Build up an emotional connection with them first so they trust you

[–]dixieboyzspookyclub0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Being in this exact situation a few years ago is exactly how I found TRP. Had oneitis for girl, made out and did lots of heavy petting but she wouldn't let me escalate further. Pretty sure it was a mix of beta behavior I was projecting at the time and the fact that when I reached down for under her panties it was only the 2nd time I ever fingered a girl so my inexperience probably came off in it and it turned her off. Probably what happened here. I also came to find out girl was a massive hoe

[–]Unboundaries0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like she just used you as a distraction. Should definitely delete her and get the hell on because she’s trouble and I don’t see how you’re going to ever stick it in her. Obviously she’s a hoe but wants to play the good girl shit with you while she sluts it up with other men. Oh well. Go to the next woman who isn’t playing games. Just ignore her and go about your business.

[–]Substantial_Wasabi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're just not of high enough value. She didn't wanna escalate with you even though she's a slut because you're beta

[–]We_Broke_Up0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck that sounds brutal man. I wish you the best on improving

[–]mustache_ride_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't get it: your bedroom game is weak, what does that have to do with her fratboys video?

[–]hrm08940 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

MGTOW. Pump and dump these whores at most, but nothing more. Don't catch feelings.

[–]send_it_for_the_boys0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like you live in my area there’s videos of so many girls around here like that 😂

[–]Standgrounding0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Feel your pain bro... I had oneitis too before but she didn't even let me be friends. That burned me the most.

[–]SowReap0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome to the real world.

[–]nidham210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like a damaged person.

[–]genital-love0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Push pull is crucial. You need to be patient. Don't be thirsty and get more practice. You took a girl home. That's good. Keep at it. There are so many girls out there.

[–]Rhyat2500 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

bitches be bitches

[–]ChadTheWaiter100-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

The video alone should be enough to snap you out of it. I would be disgusted that I kissed a bitch like that on the mouth.

[–]suckisuckilongtime-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Link vid for research purposes

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (5 children) | Copy

It’s probably more like “I don’t like THAT you touched me”, rather then “I don’t like HOW you touched me. You could have avoided all of this by just asking her if she okay with you doing that.

[–]Zero_Gravvity[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Yea I had no clue what I was doing lol. Is there a guide for this stuff in the sidebar?

[–]jm513 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

When making out, I'd have a hand across her shoulder to check for muscle tension. If I went too fast with the other hand, her shoulders would tense up fast. I'd back off until her shoulders relaxed, then try again but slower.

[–]ArcangeloPT0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This is genius! Can you generally feel it well with every girl or does it vary a lot?

[–]jm510 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

iirc, it varies. Fun finding out how it varies though.

[–]AubChris1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Would she have stopped you if you were jacked and hot? No.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2021. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter