Story time then two lessons.

I had a go-to setup for first dates as a young lad. There was a restaurant downtown... let's call it Joe's Pizza... near where I live and we would go there then go dancing or to a comedy club or something like that. I did it as a first date with every girl until I met my now-wife. I didn't do it with her. Our first date was somewhere else.

Here's the problem though. I'm an idiot. So... when we got married and spent our first night of our honeymoon downtown, I thought I'd be smooth and get her food from Joe's Pizza for us to munch on in the room. I told her it was a surprise and expected her to be swept off her feet when I walked back in the hotel room with the pizza. Needless to say, at first she didn't understand and then was slightly annoyed / hurt by my mistake (though she hid it well). I still smashed though.

Over the years, it's been mentioned a few times but never really a joke topic or anything like that. We've never actually eaten there either in our years of marriage.

Fast forward to today. We are moving to a new city and had to contact one of our service providers to get the location changed. They wanted both of us on the line for whatever reason. One of the service questions was "your favorite restaurant as a couple" and without really thinking about it, I answered "Joe's Pizza for sure" with the cockiest tone I could muster. My wife laughed suddenly and the lady went on about getting us set up.

A few min later I get a text. "Ass." I texted back a peach emoji and then the kissing heart. She texted back with a very interesting selfie. Is that extremely unusual in our marriage? Not anymore. Would that have happened a few years ago? Hell no.

What's the change? Frame. Game. Attractiveness. Frame. A MAP. Visible abs. A 500# squat. Shoulders and traps that pop in a t-shirt. Frame. More $$. Frequent kino. DEVI. Frame.

Here's lesson #1. Once you make some decent gains on attractiveness and frame, it's less about what you do or say and much more about how you do or say it. There are limits, of course. But... you get wayyyy more leeway to be whoever you want to be and say whatever you want to say if you have your shit together. An attractive guy can get a wildly different response saying the exact same thing as an unattractive guy. That is not a new or original thought but it's incredibly important.

Here's lesson #2. It doesn't truly matter that my wife responded well. I mean, we are all here for sexual strategies and self-improvement so it's easy to measure success in terms of her responses. However, that's bullshit. Measuring your progress solely against a woman's reactions is a validation trap and speaks to a lack of real frame. Had she been in a shitty mood or had the kids just spilled milk on the carpet, thus causing her to respond poorly to my joke, that doesn't mean that my improvements don't matter. Regardless of how she responded, I still put myself out there. I still made the move. I still made the joke because I wanted to. That's the real improvement.

That's also neither new nor original. However, it's even more important than #1. Do this shit for you. Not her. Don't hesitate to review her responses to gain a measure of how you are doing but don't let her be the only litmus test you use.