How do I get over the paranoia of being cheated on?

13doubleo · 2019-10-16T13:05:04+00:00

If this stresses you out so much then maybe you shouldn't be in relationship until you can get some better control over your frame, maybe just try casually dating where you don't care if she's seeing other people because you're seeing other people too and build from there.

GayLubeOil · 2019-10-16T16:19:02+00:00

Being juiced and paranoia go hand in hand. Congratulations I identified the root cause.

Awokeeleven · 2019-10-16T13:51:11+00:00

Accept that it will probably happen at least once in your life. Maybe you won’t know if you are getting cheated on but look for behavior changes. ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD IF IT HAPPENS. I know how it is to have a good catch but that means that you can always get one again even if it takes time. Never value a woman more then yourself, they won’t fix your life.

Alzatorus · 2019-10-16T19:07:38+00:00

Dude... I have totally had a similar experience to you here before. If you’re anything like me then what it actually cane down to was/is that this girl challenges your own dominance/self-image. I’m guessing she’s one of the more attractive people you’ve dated, and as such you’ve obsessively worried yourself sick... literally... She’s high value in your eyes but internally you feel that you are LOW value. You might have it all externally, but internally you are not confident at all and insecure with who you are. I don’t know anything about this girl, so I can’t compare her directly to my previous one (she turned out to be the biggest *unt I ever wasted time with) but it all came down to my own insecurities. I was constantly worried about what she was doing, who she was screwing, etc. because I had not much else to focus on and didn’t feel that I was worthy of her (😂 MASSIVE FAIL 😂) and I made myself sick. You need to try to take control of your own happiness and work on your internal securities rather than external ones. Be a person who you feel is interesting and worth being with outside of superficial shit that means very little. You seem to work hard on your looks in order to be validated by others. Be happy with yourself man and who you are. Why not take up a social hobby? Look locally for groups that do things that you might be interested in doing? There’s an app called “Meetup” that’s great! I’m going on my first hike with likeminded people next week! 😎Try to start living your life for you and try to not let someone else rule it. Whether that’s your GF of the randoms that you are hoping will think “wow, he’s jacked” as you walk/drive past 🤷🏼‍♂️ -

You’ve got to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else! 🙌🏻

KarmicPrism · 2019-10-16T13:40:55+00:00

How much do you want to change this behavior and take control of your mind OP? I have a solution for you but you have to REALLY want it and follow through with it every day.

Let me know if you are interested and I can do my best to help you.

[deleted] · 2019-10-16T14:19:13+00:00

I have been cheated on and it blows. Its what lead me here in the first place, which in turn has put me in a spot where if I was going to be in a ltr if they did cheat Im in a place where I can next her easier cause I know I HAVE VALUE, SHE FUCKED UP. Which may not be an iron clad defense. But I guarantee I wont be sitting in my room contemplating suicide thinks about how much of a loser I am.

On top of that. When you have real value. Value you actually built with your own hands. Not blue pill I was born I have value sort of value. Then youre leas likely to get cheated on in the first place.

The last thing you should do is be afraid to take a risk and stay inside for the rest of you life aftaid to give what you need to to your SO.

Harshtroof · 2019-10-16T14:35:08+00:00

The problem is you are way too emotionally invested in her. You need to take a step back and get your priorities in order. Focus on yourself and your life. Stop focusing on what she is or could be doing.

A woman should not ever be your priority in life, they are just an accessory. They will come and go throughout your life.

You need to learn to detach yourself from being overly emotionally invested in women or you are going to live a life of pain.

KillaJewels · 2019-10-16T20:21:04+00:00

Lmao I feel for you bro, feel the same way sometimes. Just take it easy. I've found cold showers and meditation help cool the jets. Trust yourself enough that you'll hold it down. Keep up that naturally flirty frame - works well as dread. Dread is your best friend.

Treat her right, and don't snoop. If you do, she'll lose respect for you (esp bc you're not respecting her; you'd be setting the precedent).

Know that if it happens, even if everything's gucci, it's out of your control. And a W for wasting no more of your time.

Red_Pill_Brotherhood · 2019-10-16T18:24:45+00:00

You need to realize this important concept: YOU CANNOT CONTROL HER ACTIONS. If she is going to cheat, she will do it anyway. There is nothing you can do about it. It only hurts your own peace of mind to worry about this and if she sees you are insecure/jealous/mateguarding, it will only make you look low value and weak and will drive her away.

Don't trip about her cheating or not and dont go looking for it. If you happen to catch her, dump her. Until then, enjoy things. But I do think that you are NOT ready for a relationship with this mindset.

It is not your girl, it is just your turn. Internalize this and you will be set free.

TheFastCat · 2019-10-16T13:09:51+00:00

You are "juiced" -- that means you are on steroids? Mood swings and hormonal changes could be a big part of it. For the anxiety you might want to try some medical marijuana or indica edibles (pill form). you might be surprised at the calm. For the psychological side of it -- the only way I ever got over anxiety related to that -- was to fuck as many women as I could. As your N number gets higher you really naturally internalize abundance.

AubChris · 2019-10-16T14:26:04+00:00

are you on tren?

amoxicillin2020 · 2019-10-16T15:50:45+00:00

Paranoia, a fiction of your imagination. It’s conjured up. Why aren’t you battling those thoughts and allowing them to get to the better of?

Again, it’s not that you aren’t ready of a relationship but understand its fears and I probably think because you are afraid of losing out, so make peace with that, and focus on the bigger issues on life, we are all on borrowed time, plus if you are a cool boyfriend to your girl, she probably won’t look elsewhere.

Domebeers · 2019-10-16T16:55:16+00:00

You need to date more girls

redpilllogin · 2019-10-16T17:43:43+00:00

Ease off the juice for a while.

DTron2332 · 2019-10-16T18:33:12+00:00

You need to work on yourself more. Paranoia is delusional , it isn’t rational. I take steroids and there were a few times I was very angry and paranoid over my LTR, and I had actual signs and reasons to be in terms of here wanting and fantasizing fucking other men.

I was extremely angry, and felt like less of a man. Then I decided to work on myself more, be busier, talk to other women, and workout even harder. Now I don’t think about that shit as much, I’m a lot more proactive. My frame is better, and I understand that I’m the prize, despite her being very attractive, there’s always more women out there.

You already know your problem, yourself. The fact you get so worked up over nothing is beta behavior, high testosterone or not.

BuzzLightGear321 · 2019-10-16T19:18:54+00:00

Congrats on the self fulfilling prophecy. Just give it time and you'll push her to cheat due to your paranoia. Oddly enough, being cheated on might just show you how not important it is. LTR cheats= hard next and find a new one.

AceMav21 · 2019-10-16T19:34:06+00:00

You said you sipping the caprisun? Maybe cut back on the Trenbologna

frognads · 2019-10-16T15:01:27+00:00

You stay single.

jzekyll4 · 2019-10-16T15:26:10+00:00

You need plates

1kschmeckles · 2019-10-16T18:44:39+00:00

You'll get over it when you understand that women don't disappoint you. Your expectations do.

Never give her nonsexual attention - if the logistics/circumstances of a certain situation/plan don't include the possibility of having sex, don't spend that day with her.

If you are happy with your life (family, work, friends, hobbies) and understand that AWALT, you will stop being paranoid over this shit. Women should be a mere distraction to you, a supplement to your already happy life, not a source of headaches.

vandaalen · 2019-10-16T13:17:33+00:00

shes not yours its just your turn

danielcrestwellbestb · 2019-10-16T14:30:41+00:00

You have to understand that she would and will leave you for somebody that’s 6’3 and more ripped than you by 1%.

You have to be accepting of people leaving you bro, as long as you’re content with yourself, it won’t matter

yzeetrA · 2019-10-16T14:39:12+00:00

IDGAF mentality, learn it, now

DonJuan_69 · 2019-10-16T16:52:17+00:00

“If she isn’t sitting next to you, she is probably cheating on you.”- alphamalestrategies

Title	How do I get over the paranoia of being cheated on?
Author	BasedInquiry
Upvotes	17
Comments	79
Date	October 16, 2019 12:55 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/diox91/how_do_i_get_over_the_paranoia_of_being_cheated_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-get-over-the-paranoia-of-being-cheated-on.291011 https://theredarchive.com/post/291011