I'm having a hard time moving on from the fact that my ex-LTR of 3.5 years didn't have sex with me while she slept with other dudes throughout the relationship.

i-grok-it · 2019-10-17T13:09:06+00:00

For starters, don’t be so hard on yourself. She was a liar and you dodged a bullet.

Edit: spelling error

mr4kino · 2019-10-17T13:27:32+00:00

Be glad you didn't have kids with her and didn't get to pay alimony and all those stuff. Everything is good in this perspective ;)

Saveurselfgurl · 2019-10-17T14:15:50+00:00

Thats why i dont recommend to date virgins although i want a stable and long term relationship eventually. Chances of finding a liar, a blowjob machine or ass girl is far higher than finding a real, honest to God virgin and the moment you realize you are played there is nothing much to do but beat yourself over your lost time and feelings.

A honest whore is always better than a sneaky low count in my opinion, at least you know how to react.

ThrowsSharksAtBirds · 2019-10-17T13:38:39+00:00

Well you're awoken now and understand how this all works. Don't be hard on yourself. Time to go get plates. Are you virgin btw? Well, doesn't matter. Work on plates for now and lift if you aren't.

redhawkes · 2019-10-17T14:27:55+00:00

Stop living in the past and letting her live rent free in your head. You can't change it.

Use it as a lesson learned.

Dilduo · 2019-10-17T13:48:51+00:00

I'm gonna go against the grain here.

Let it "haunt" you.

This way you will get a bad taste in your mouth whenever you come near a similar situation again. Don't loose sleep over it. But you know how you were at your worst, now do everything you can to avoid that.

thrwy75479 · 2019-10-17T15:08:38+00:00

the thought that I was played like a little bitch haunts me and consumes me every single day

She didn't do shit. You played yourself.

Thinking about your relationship with her, you're thinking about yourself, which is the source of your hatred.

What she did is open your eyes, and wake you up.

effyouasshole · 2019-10-17T18:17:16+00:00

I was played like a little bitch

You let yourself get played like a little bitch.

She didn't do anything wrong. She wanted a provider while getting hot dick on the side, so she acted in accordance to that goal. This is what some women do. Would you get angry at a lion when it kills a zebra and eats it?

But you... you fucked up. I guarantee you that you missed obvious signs that there was a major problem. I guarantee it. But hey... all that matters now is that you're older and wiser. Learn from it. Put the anger down and focus on your path.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2019-10-17T20:27:07+00:00

You forgive yourself and you move on. Sure she’s a lying piece of shit, but don’t let her steal more time from you by letting her live, rent-free, in your head.

Living well, while not popular as an opera plot, really is the best revenge.

BeeBopJoe · 2019-10-17T14:09:19+00:00

Bro, its been 1.5 years. Man the fuck up. Acknowledge that u were a bitch and work on not being one anymore so that shit like that won't happen again.

PiperBigBell · 2019-10-17T15:19:27+00:00

One does not simply get over it. You use that pain, that anger, that shame, as emotional leverage to go on the greatest self help, mental excavation of all time. It is from the honoring of our trauma that we begin to have self esteem and growth. Honor it as you would your father and mother. Love it. Fear it. Respect it. You pour as much emotion and energy into self improvement as you can until you have no mental energy left to give into the past. Just lessons.

Two_kids_in_a_coat · 2019-10-17T18:23:43+00:00

You thank the gods you got away from that lying whore before you had a kid or ended up married.

You’re a lucky dude. Got away with only a bruised ego and knowledge to move forward with. most guys lose much much more before swallowing the pill.

MGTOWJulietSierra · 2019-10-17T21:41:53+00:00

Please try to forgive yourself and her. Hopefully someday soon the thought of her and her awful behavior generates little or no emotion. I’ll pray for you brother.

QueenSlapFight · 2019-10-17T22:14:25+00:00

We all grow from children to adults. Not all facets of our personality grow at the same pace. You can't shame an adult for believing in Santa Claus when they were 5. You can't shame yourself for believing in your girlfriend's magical claims of loyalty when you hadn't matured enough at that time to recognize the deceit. Be proud of your growth, not ashamed of what you grew from. Beyond that, realize there is always a lot of room for growth in all of us. 1.5 years from now, 5 years from now, 10 years from now you may recognize more deficiencies in your current self that you've overcome. Should you lament that these existed? Or feel a sense of pride of not sitting on your ass content with your existence and lot, and grew into more than what you were?

The embarrassing little bitch part of your actions is how you're fretting over your mistake, not that you were gullible enough to believe someone who lied to you.

CasaDeFranco · 2019-10-17T23:45:48+00:00

You see the old you as a bitch, but brother that means you've grown so much.

Hemingway said, "There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self".

You're becoming the best version of you, and part of that includes realising in the past you were a bitch, or made the wrong choices.

Acknowledge it, accept it, and keep on the path forward.

This is a war against weakness, don't surrender.

SilverGryphon · 2019-10-18T05:16:30+00:00

Wow 3.5 years of no sex? You played yourself dude, at least you learned and now you are spinning plates.

AdoptMeNotCrypto · 2019-10-17T19:51:36+00:00

Y'all are ridiculous with this strict anti-tattoo nonsense. Seriously, welcome to 2019. There is amazing art being put in the skin these days.

There are also hoodrat bitches with really low quality work on them. Things like their ex-bf's names above their ass crack. I get it.

But a man should know how to calibrate an idea rather than just parrot archaic views. Automatically disrespecting people because they have a tattoo isn't alpha; it's just ignorant.

frognads · 2019-10-17T14:16:14+00:00

Keep Calm and Carry On

gyunbie · 2019-10-17T15:51:40+00:00

That's only because of traumatic experience. You have nothing else to do other than embracing it.

PhaedrusHunt · 2019-10-17T16:15:37+00:00

Hey let me ask you a question how was she doing it logistically?

As in where was she meeting up with these guys and when?

Did you see any red flags or did she just completely get it over on you?

evenfurtherbeyond511 · 2019-10-17T16:56:08+00:00

All Men are jealous because all the men who were not jealous got cheated on and died out. Their genes didn’t make it here

Embrace the jealousy don’t run away from it.

thebadguy89 · 2019-10-17T17:32:40+00:00

Dude, back when I was billy beta I was in an abusive relationship with a bitch who controlled/mentally abused me for 8 fucking years. I could have fucked so many hotties during that time, but every time my jealous ex would shut down that shit right away, she'd look through my phone every week and question every contact, and I simply sat back and let it happen.

You have it good compared to others if that's all the fuck that happened to you

lbrownlbandit · 2019-10-17T17:55:31+00:00

Honestly, address the thought whenever it comes to mind and then continue on with your day. Cant do anything abouts what's been done.

One day the thought will spring into your head and it wont even phase you. So just focus on yourself and what you're going to do next

Red_Pill_Brotherhood · 2019-10-17T18:14:38+00:00

Realize that is over. You learned and found RP. You cant change the past but you are a different person now. Most of us have acted like pussies before to varying degrees. That situation is over. Move on and realize thats not your reality anymore.

yzeetrA · 2019-10-17T18:26:27+00:00

lol wait what

Kizzou · 2019-10-17T18:43:58+00:00

Write about it. Let those emotions and thoughts be released. Mediate on it and feel/engage all those emotions related to the experience. Go through this ritual or something similar and soon you'll feel less trapped by the baggage left over from that experience

Austin2Leader · 2019-10-17T19:05:05+00:00

Lift

RedPillAlphaBigCock · 2019-10-17T22:46:43+00:00

fucking forget about it and move on - You win or you LEARN - You learned a good lesson - STFU, forgive yourself and lift

dani098 · 2019-10-17T23:12:26+00:00

How did you fine out.

realjohnkwando · 2019-10-18T00:14:44+00:00

live and learn man. Glad you are no longer in it.

redpilllogin · 2019-10-18T02:33:41+00:00

One of my plates is in an LTR with a guy she hasn't had sex with because they're waiting for marriage. The medium is the message. If you don't bang her someone else will. Consider this a lesson learned and move on.

SheriffBart42 · 2019-10-18T03:06:43+00:00

You've got too much of your ego in the game. You can have the confidence you need to get girls without ego. The individual results with one particular girl are meaningless. Up your Zen game!

kheitba · 2019-10-18T04:33:37+00:00

Man that is fucked.

Redditgoodaccount · 2019-10-18T07:50:00+00:00

Martial arts, strong discipline, clean, lean and kill it at ANYTHING your life is composed of. That man doesn't exist anymore it never existed, her too.

Fuktiga_mejmejs · 2019-10-18T08:10:55+00:00

Listen, we all did shit that we are embarrassed about but what's the point in weeping about the past? Move on and learn from your mistakes.

Title	I'm having a hard time moving on from the fact that my ex-LTR of 3.5 years didn't have sex with me while she slept with other dudes throughout the relationship.
Author	riggedved
Upvotes	71
Comments	51
Date	17 October 2019 01:03 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	askTRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/291278
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dj63pd/im_having_a_hard_time_moving_on_from_the_fact/