I'm having a hard time moving on from the fact that my ex-LTR of 3.5 years didn't have sex with me while she slept with other dudes throughout the relationship.

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October 17, 2019
71 upvotes

You read that right. This was during my pre-TRP days.

She told me she was a virgin. Billy Beta me believed her and made her my unicorn. She has tattoos.

Been 1.5 years since breakup (and discovering TRP). Even though I'm spinning plates, the thought that I was played like a little bitch haunts me and consumes me every single day.

How do I cope with this?

UPDATE:

Guys, thanks for all the responses, and making me realise that this is a part of growing up and learning. Still, we had a deeply emotional relationship so I won't say it's easy, but I guess I have to man up and move the fuck on from it. I have moved on, physically, but I still get fucked over it emotionally.


Post Information
Title I'm having a hard time moving on from the fact that my ex-LTR of 3.5 years didn't have sex with me while she slept with other dudes throughout the relationship.
Author riggedved
Upvotes 71
Comments 51
Date 17 October 2019 01:03 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/291278
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dj63pd/im_having_a_hard_time_moving_on_from_the_fact/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
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Comments

[–]i-grok-it119 points120 points  (2 children) | Copy

For starters, don’t be so hard on yourself. She was a liar and you dodged a bullet.

Edit: spelling error

[–]Rognin35 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy

This, imagine the scenarios where you put a ring on her finger, had a potential for paternity fraud , alimony, child support (for another man's child).

You just fuckin' neo'd yourself out of a hell of a situation. Look forward, learn from your mistakes and enjoy the second chance life has given you.

[–]Yashugan005 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

and try to look forward, not backwards.

[–]mr4kino[🍰] 41 points42 points  (2 children) | Copy

Be glad you didn't have kids with her and didn't get to pay alimony and all those stuff. Everything is good in this perspective ;)

[–]RuleTheOne1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thats crazy to think about. Kids and marriage can really mess your life up if you're not tactical.

[–]mr4kino[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Indeed. Well if you leave in the "West" you have to be crazy to go for it.
In other countries it's not an issue though.

[–]Saveurselfgurl 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Thats why i dont recommend to date virgins although i want a stable and long term relationship eventually. Chances of finding a liar, a blowjob machine or ass girl is far higher than finding a real, honest to God virgin and the moment you realize you are played there is nothing much to do but beat yourself over your lost time and feelings.

A honest whore is always better than a sneaky low count in my opinion, at least you know how to react.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you want a real virgin go to an fssp parish and look around for a girl who is not with any family members, and have a conversation to discern the actual values and beliefs she holds

[–]ThrowsSharksAtBirds13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Well you're awoken now and understand how this all works. Don't be hard on yourself. Time to go get plates. Are you virgin btw? Well, doesn't matter. Work on plates for now and lift if you aren't.

[–]Godmode222911 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

This.

Learn to become those Chads

[–]riggedved[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not a virgin. Wasnt a virgin when I had her. Had an n-count of around 8-9 when i started dating her. While I was in the LTR, I was loyal thoughout the course of 3.5. She told me she was a virgin and I believed it.

Lifting regularly. Just ran a Half Marathon in 1:44 hours.

[–]1redhawkes9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop living in the past and letting her live rent free in your head. You can't change it.

Use it as a lesson learned.

[–]Dilduo23 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm gonna go against the grain here.

Let it "haunt" you.

This way you will get a bad taste in your mouth whenever you come near a similar situation again. Don't loose sleep over it. But you know how you were at your worst, now do everything you can to avoid that.

[–]PhaedrusHunt5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, this.

When something feels bad is providing contrast for you to learn from because you want to run to the opposite feeling.

[–]thrwy754796 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

the thought that I was played like a little bitch haunts me and consumes me every single day

She didn't do shit. You played yourself.

Thinking about your relationship with her, you're thinking about yourself, which is the source of your hatred.

What she did is open your eyes, and wake you up.

[–]DonDXP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

great point.

ive had chicks tell me they dont want/wont have sex with their boyfriends. I wasnt sleeping with them we were just partying and i couldnt believe it. Like why then be with him?

so obviously she gets something from it, and obviously she is a little fucked up for doing this - faking one thing, while getting it elsewhere.

[–]effyouasshole3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was played like a little bitch

You let yourself get played like a little bitch.

She didn't do anything wrong. She wanted a provider while getting hot dick on the side, so she acted in accordance to that goal. This is what some women do. Would you get angry at a lion when it kills a zebra and eats it?

But you... you fucked up. I guarantee you that you missed obvious signs that there was a major problem. I guarantee it. But hey... all that matters now is that you're older and wiser. Learn from it. Put the anger down and focus on your path.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You forgive yourself and you move on. Sure she’s a lying piece of shit, but don’t let her steal more time from you by letting her live, rent-free, in your head.

Living well, while not popular as an opera plot, really is the best revenge.

[–]BeeBopJoe8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bro, its been 1.5 years. Man the fuck up. Acknowledge that u were a bitch and work on not being one anymore so that shit like that won't happen again.

[–]Sad_Sleeper2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Had the same issue for almost a year after she dumped me. Comparing myself from last year and now, i am better overall. SMV has increased for sure. Lifting and some nice glasses do wonders hahah.

[–]PiperBigBell2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

One does not simply get over it. You use that pain, that anger, that shame, as emotional leverage to go on the greatest self help, mental excavation of all time. It is from the honoring of our trauma that we begin to have self esteem and growth. Honor it as you would your father and mother. Love it. Fear it. Respect it. You pour as much emotion and energy into self improvement as you can until you have no mental energy left to give into the past. Just lessons.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You thank the gods you got away from that lying whore before you had a kid or ended up married.

You’re a lucky dude. Got away with only a bruised ego and knowledge to move forward with. most guys lose much much more before swallowing the pill.

[–]MGTOWJulietSierra1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Please try to forgive yourself and her. Hopefully someday soon the thought of her and her awful behavior generates little or no emotion. I’ll pray for you brother.

[–]QueenSlapFight1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

We all grow from children to adults. Not all facets of our personality grow at the same pace. You can't shame an adult for believing in Santa Claus when they were 5. You can't shame yourself for believing in your girlfriend's magical claims of loyalty when you hadn't matured enough at that time to recognize the deceit. Be proud of your growth, not ashamed of what you grew from. Beyond that, realize there is always a lot of room for growth in all of us. 1.5 years from now, 5 years from now, 10 years from now you may recognize more deficiencies in your current self that you've overcome. Should you lament that these existed? Or feel a sense of pride of not sitting on your ass content with your existence and lot, and grew into more than what you were?

The embarrassing little bitch part of your actions is how you're fretting over your mistake, not that you were gullible enough to believe someone who lied to you.

[–]CasaDeFranco1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You see the old you as a bitch, but brother that means you've grown so much.

Hemingway said, "There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self".

You're becoming the best version of you, and part of that includes realising in the past you were a bitch, or made the wrong choices.

Acknowledge it, accept it, and keep on the path forward.

This is a war against weakness, don't surrender.

[–]SilverGryphon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow 3.5 years of no sex? You played yourself dude, at least you learned and now you are spinning plates.

[–]AdoptMeNotCrypto3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Y'all are ridiculous with this strict anti-tattoo nonsense. Seriously, welcome to 2019. There is amazing art being put in the skin these days.

There are also hoodrat bitches with really low quality work on them. Things like their ex-bf's names above their ass crack. I get it.

But a man should know how to calibrate an idea rather than just parrot archaic views. Automatically disrespecting people because they have a tattoo isn't alpha; it's just ignorant.

[–]kheitba1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Nah never met a chick with tattoos that wasn’t fucked. A small tattoo is fine but any larger is a hard pass for me.

[–]AdoptMeNotCrypto1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Interesting. The size of the tattoo doesn't say anything about the quality of the piece. I'd be more leery of a small and shitty tattoo than a medium and awesome tattoo.

But at least you're basing your decision on your real world experiences. I respect that, even if it doesn't line up with my own.

[–]frognads0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Keep Calm and Carry On

[–]gyunbie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's only because of traumatic experience. You have nothing else to do other than embracing it.

[–]PhaedrusHunt0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Hey let me ask you a question how was she doing it logistically?

As in where was she meeting up with these guys and when?

Did you see any red flags or did she just completely get it over on you?

[–]riggedved[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

She spent 3-6 months every year in the US (we’re not from the US) because she had a Green Card and she didnt wanna lose it. When we started dating We were 27 years old. And she has a tattoo on her arm. Looks wise she is a 7.5/10. Really pretty eyes. Amazing body. Was a decently famous Instagram fashion blogger at one point too. Had told me that shes had “flings” in the past, but she still maintained her virginity.

[–]PhaedrusHunt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh my god dude I'm sorry you got played bad. Don't feel ashamed it happens.

not sure if you've read Rollo tomassi books. I forgot which one but he says if you are in a long-distance relationship you are not in a relationship. And I'm pretty sure he says repeat: if you are in a long-distance relationship you are not in a relationship.

That's a tough pill to swallow

in any case I feel like that's better than if she were doing right under your nose and coming home with other guys dicks on her breath

[–]new_dsr0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Is she from India? Just curious...

[–]riggedved[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes she is.

[–]evenfurtherbeyond5110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

All Men are jealous because all the men who were not jealous got cheated on and died out. Their genes didn’t make it here

Embrace the jealousy don’t run away from it.

[–]thebadguy890 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, back when I was billy beta I was in an abusive relationship with a bitch who controlled/mentally abused me for 8 fucking years. I could have fucked so many hotties during that time, but every time my jealous ex would shut down that shit right away, she'd look through my phone every week and question every contact, and I simply sat back and let it happen.

You have it good compared to others if that's all the fuck that happened to you

[–]lbrownlbandit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly, address the thought whenever it comes to mind and then continue on with your day. Cant do anything abouts what's been done.

One day the thought will spring into your head and it wont even phase you. So just focus on yourself and what you're going to do next

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Realize that is over. You learned and found RP. You cant change the past but you are a different person now. Most of us have acted like pussies before to varying degrees. That situation is over. Move on and realize thats not your reality anymore.

[–]yzeetrA0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

lol wait what

[–]Kizzou0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Write about it. Let those emotions and thoughts be released. Mediate on it and feel/engage all those emotions related to the experience. Go through this ritual or something similar and soon you'll feel less trapped by the baggage left over from that experience

[–]Austin2Leader0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lift

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

fucking forget about it and move on - You win or you LEARN - You learned a good lesson - STFU, forgive yourself and lift

[–]dani0980 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How did you fine out.

[–]realjohnkwando0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

live and learn man. Glad you are no longer in it.

[–]redpilllogin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One of my plates is in an LTR with a guy she hasn't had sex with because they're waiting for marriage. The medium is the message. If you don't bang her someone else will. Consider this a lesson learned and move on.

[–]SheriffBart420 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You've got too much of your ego in the game. You can have the confidence you need to get girls without ego. The individual results with one particular girl are meaningless. Up your Zen game!

[–]kheitba0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Man that is fucked.

[–]Redditgoodaccount0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Martial arts, strong discipline, clean, lean and kill it at ANYTHING your life is composed of. That man doesn't exist anymore it never existed, her too.

[–]Fuktiga_mejmejs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Listen, we all did shit that we are embarrassed about but what's the point in weeping about the past? Move on and learn from your mistakes.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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