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It would never happen to me. She's special. And I'm wrong.

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October 18, 2019

My LTR cheated on me. I found out this morning. She's packing her stuff right now.

I've read trp for a long time. I agree with a lot of things, and disagree with some of the woman hating. I read a lot of post about their special snowflake cheated. I never thought it'll happen to me. She was special, she say all the right things, she loves me.

Now I'm totally destroyed. It hurts. A lot. Ive bought a ring even. Was ready to propose.

I don't have any great insight. I don't even know why I'm posting this.

I just want to get this off so I'll be ok again.

Post Information
Title It would never happen to me. She's special. And I'm wrong.
Author 3vil007
Upvotes 331
Comments 185
Date 18 October 2019 10:54 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
cheatinglong term relationshipthe red pillsnowflake

[–]macheagle99 points100 points  (28 children) | Copy

Sorry to hear, OP. I thought mine was an angel too - the unicorn different from all the other girls out there that all the RP men bash on. She was special. She was mine. She would never hurt me. I couldn’t even fathom her doing anything but love me. Forever and for life. I bought a ring, too. We were living together. And then I found out. Just like you.

And then it was the biggest wake up call of my life. The biggest blessing in disguise. I should have thanked her for cheating, as it made me learn and realize how to be happy with my life independent of my relationship status and women. I’m happy because I’m physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially fit. I spent years working on building myself, on investing myself. You are the best investment you can make because you will always yield returns for yourself. Everything else, especially women, is risky investment. I’m also blessed with great friends, mentors, mentees, and great side pussy here and there. I’m open to LTRs if the right one comes along too - but now I vet much much more. Because I have learned. Because I have improved. A better man. A better boyfriend. A better husband maybe (if you want kids). Because I have learned and improved through RP and my own values - refined through experience.

So congratulations on leveling up your manhood. It took me a good few years to fully recover, but I enjoyed the process overall. There will be up days and down days, but never forget it won’t get any worse than today. Some days will be SAME as today, but never worse. You are already getting better, slowly. Go read, lift, game, work, make friends, rebound, whatever you wanna do. But do not get into another LTR so quick - you will be bringing in unnecessary emotional baggage to the new chick which will only fuck things up. Heal on your own sheer will, independently from women, and only then will you come back ten times stronger. Only then will you, for the first time in your life, be ready for LTRs with women, if desired.

Best of luck brother. I’m sure you’ll do great.

[–]3vil007[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've read every word you said. It really helps in this time. It'll take me a long long time to be ok again. But I hope your story is true and I'll come back 10x Thank you.

[–]3vil007[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

It is a big wake up call for me as well. Now that I start connecting a the dots. The lies. She's so good at it.

Time to rebuild.

Thank you.

[–]dzkkne0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Man I have been there. The best thing that happened to me. Once you realise that you are fine and your future is bright - you won’t have any bad feelings anymore. Be happy for yourself. I can honestly say that I now have no resentment towards my ex and wish her well because I now truly live the way I want

[–]enlightedM2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

How do you find mentors? Did you already know them or you found some new person to be your mentor ?

[–]macheagle15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being BP and RP attracts you to different people. They could also attract you to the same people but in different ways. I'll just share with you how I got to know that particular mentor of mine.

Before I found that ex had cheated on me, I already kind of looked up to this guy in my company whom was higher up in the corporate ladder, but really only as my career mentor. We were getting along as a career mentor/mentee pair as well. When I found out about the cheating, I was in my office at the time, it was past midnight and I was so behind with work that day because I spent the whole day investigating chat records I had obtained that proved the cheating. When it was verified, there was already nobody else left in the office except for my mentor, who was still working and puffing on a cigarette (we weren't in the US, we were both expats in another country which also helped establish our rapport with each other).

Naturally, I went straight to him with the cheating news, shocked and in disbelief with my entire world turned upside down as a young 20's BP guy. That was my first time opening up to him personally instead of just professionally. He might not even have known that I was in an LTR at that time. His first reaction was a total state of calmness, almost reactionless. Then he leaned back on his chair, lit a new ciggie and said "Really.. Tell me more about it brother." He stayed with me that night until around 5am in the morning, spilling out what was essentially the TRP sidebar before this subreddit had even existed (as I recall), and that he had gone through the same when he was younger. He gave me a few days off after that - shielding me from management/HR to let me get back on my feet. For the rest of the years I worked with him, he was an older brother I looked up to and continued to learn from, both personally and professionally. He has enjoyed my company greatly as well, as he had revealed on several occasions, due to my having perspectives and skillsets that he wished he had.

Today, we live in different countries, but have continued to keep in touch with the bond of brotherhood.

I have several other mentors. In general I'm a pretty outgoing person and can connect and establish rapport with pretty much anybody. I'm also in a role in my work where I get to meet a lot of successful entrepreneurs, CEOs, and leaders and so I have the opportunity to personally get to know them and evaluate whether they may be good mentors for me as well. Being outgoing or extroverted, and being in situations or circumstances that allows you to meet new people would be helpful. I hope this answers what you were looking for!

[–]TheBunk_TB2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same here. "Sometimes the shits gets rid of its self".

[–]dzmisrb430 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy

What do you do for living now? What path did you find?

[–]macheagle1 point2 points  (11 children) | Copy

I went on to own my own company and retained all my previous employers as my clients. I found the path of living at my best, instead of at “her” best which will only and always inevitably fail.

[–]dzmisrb430 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

How is business going,was it hard to do?

Also do you make enough to have comfortable lifestyle and have for savings if it's ok to ask,do entrapanures make as much as people on internet lead to believe?

Also you as someone who actually is in real life business(comapred to kids on internet), is it myth that you can indefinitely expand business and from one company make another and become multimilionare(or do you need a lot of luck and connections to do something like that)?I always found that very suspicious but you are the one who has real life expirence?

I ask because I want to have realstic image and not except some extreme rare scenarios?

[–]macheagle0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Hey man, I’ve been so busy I haven’t gotten a chance to properly sit down and rely to this until now. To answer your question:

Yes, I make enough to have a comfy quality of life with savings. The word “entrepreneurs” is very broad in definition. I’m a business owner, but I don’t consider myself to be an entrepreneur. I consider entrepreneurs to be people who take a bit more risks than the rest of us by daring to innovate and open new categories. I did no such thing - I simply turned my prior employment into a consultancy by registering a company using my home address (home office). So I own my own company but still do the exact same thing as what I was already doing before as an employee. I simply had enough clout with management to successfully negotiate their dropping my employment in favor of making me a consultant on paper. So I retained my former employer as a client, and then I added several more clients too. I am making more now than when I was a full-time corporate drone. But I did not invent or innovate like other real entrepreneurs did. I did what I did for freedom and flexibility of schedule reasons.

Whether or not you succeed as an entrepreneur depends on your skills, your location, your connections, and your timing. You should ideally physically be in a country/region where your skills are in relative high demand, have great connections with the field you are pursuing (or partner with someone who has this), and know when to stay and relocate. Staying nimble has worked very well for me as the world’s supply and demand for skills gradually shifts and changes over time. Adapt to survive. Darwin.

Good luck with your endeavors my friend.

[–]dzmisrb430 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Thank you on advices.

One last short question.

Due to your expirence which skills will be obselete and which will become most needed? I imagine healthcare jobs will become less required and important comapred to programing and computer science?

[–]macheagle0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

AI, renewable energy, geo-engineering, computer science, gaming, VR, AR, MR, vertical mobility (personal transport), etc will be very important industries.

Skills wise - this depends on what you’re good at. Early on you need to identify whether you’re an academic with hard skills (engineering etc) or a people person with soft skills (social skills, salesmanship, etc). Both are needed for the greatest success - as was the case with Steve Woz (hard skills) partnering with Steve Jobs (soft skills).

You may not be able to identify this until you have started working. By your mid-20’s you should have a good idea.

[–]dzmisrb430 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you.

[–]dzmisrb430 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Sorry just checking if you got my reply answer would help me a lot on deciding things but it's find if you don't want to answer

[–]macheagle0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Yes, I will respond later. I’m on an adhoc business trip since two days ago but I’ll get back to you on this in the next day or so.

[–]dzmisrb430 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Thanks great :D

[–]42gauge0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Did he PM you his response? I don't see his reply here.

[–]macheagle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No I did not, thanks for reminding me that I missed this question. Work and travel got in the way. I’m working on this response now.

[–]macheagle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have replied to the OP’s question. Feel free to check above for my response. Happy holidays!

[–]tripwithweird0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

So how would you say went wrong in your relationship. You’re obviously red pill now, Right?

[–]macheagle0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Treat her like a celebrity and she’ll treat you like a fan. That’s how it all started. I put her on such a high pedestal that she could not help but subconsciously recognize how much I devalue myself and therefore a strong indication of my lack of self-worth (but at the time, I had an absolutely fantastic career and job, I still do). Nobody wants to be with someone of that low sense of self-worth. Nobody wants to be with a loser.

Another mistake was I prioritized the unicorn woman oneitis over my career. As a male that is the biggest no no. I had no clue what was male vs female SMV back in those days. I did not understand that male SMV was driven by career, wealth, status, and other such indicators of childbearing readiness. A male should expect to have low SMV at a young age and females are the exact opposite as their primary value in society is in their biological fertility which is only possible during youth.

I did not vet properly. There were lots of red flags such as her coming from a broken home with some evidence of psychological trauma as a very young kid, during her parents’ breakup. I knew this early on. This led to a ton of daddy issues that I kept on keeping a blind eye to, until it was too late. A ton of emotional baggage that ought to have been fixed independently first, both on her end and mine.

My mistaken assumption that happiness comes from women or external factors. No, it comes from within. This applies to both sexes and genders. No one else is responsible for your own happiness, and no one else but you can provide it. You should be happy and content with yourself first, otherwise you’ll also become a liability to your partner in a relationship and vice versa. No one should be an emotional burden to his or her SO. We were a burden to each other. A recipe for failure and disaster.

My failure of understanding that men are the gatekeepers of commitment, while women are the gatekeepers of sex. This is perhaps the most understated and overshadowed point.

Let me know if you have questions.

[–]tripwithweird2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Treat her like a celebrity and she’ll treat you like a fan.

Wow man. You hit the nail on the head with this one. I'm gonna go lift now.

[–]macheagle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have fun getting some new gainz!

[–]42gauge0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Which industry are you in? Finance, tech?

[–]macheagle0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

High-end media. Think something like Forbes.

[–]42gauge0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I don't really know how those industries work. Are the highest growth positions as content creators, or are there other jobs which get the limelight?

[–]macheagle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In terms of getting the spotlight and prestige, connections, social capital, etc it would be the editors. And yes they have a ton of growth as well.

[–]EspressoCappuccino295 points296 points  (22 children) | Copy

Even Chad ThunderCock gets cheated on. If a woman wants to cheat, she'll cheat regardless. I've been there before. Don't repress your emotions, take some time alone and let it out. You'll feel like shit for some time then feel good, then feel like shit again.

Then after that you'll have this "free" feeling. Once I saw my cheating ex in public and I didnt feel anything, literally, I was just disconnected. Thats how you know you've moved on, when you no longer feel any sadness or happiness for her.

In the mean time, block her everywhere. Keep yourself busy, talk to more girls, improve yourself mentally and physically. You will heal faster than you think if you dont repress how you feel.

[–][deleted] 204 points205 points  (5 children) | Copy

when you no longer feel any sadness or happiness for her.


The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.

[–]Steel_Prism43 points44 points  (1 child) | Copy

>The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference

For some reason that really struck me and is really resonating with me. Like that saying means a lot to me for some reason

[–]_Ulan_9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some people are getting off on the hate they get from exes. It's a feeling, directed towards a person, meaning that the person matters.

Indifference however, is the real opposite of any sort of feeling. I've seen people freak out when they realise someone is indifferent to them.

[–]mymindislikeaseive10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.

(Stubborn Love, The Lumineers)

[–]1Shyrk6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s an Ayn Rand quote.

[–]mymindislikeaseive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Shit! I’d forgotten Rand. Originally though I think it was some german guy who said that.

[–]3vil007[S] 24 points25 points  (3 children) | Copy

Thank you.

[–]babybopp63 points64 points  (0 children) | Copy

So u are actually lucky that u did not put a ring on it. Some of us did and invested. My ex wife cheated on me and I found out because the credit card company sent a bill out by mistake when she had opted for paperless billing. It was for hotel room charges. I opened it as I was the one doing the home finances. Same hotel every week. So I pretended to go to work but I had rented a u haul pickup truck and parked it on the street.

Double backed and waited inside the truck on the day she goes. Sure enough she came out super sexy dressed and drove off. I followed her in the truck. She went to a red roof hotel and met this dude. After two hours I just drove off and packed all her shit. When she came back home before I would usually get there she found her shit by the door. And I ended it right there amidst all the waterworks and apologies. I grew up that day and shortly after found trp.

A lot of people who haven’t read the sidebar think we are women haters. We’re not. Just men who understand the eventual behavior trend that women adapt to... and act accordingly

[–]frognads48 points49 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hang in there mother fucker, don't hesitate to message us if you need that little bit of realtalk here and there.

Time will pass and you will get better.

[–]IndiansSmellLikePoo12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Amen brother

[–]ogkushinjapan18 points19 points  (5 children) | Copy

You'll know it when she becomes just somebody you used to know.

[–]Andgelyo15 points16 points  (3 children) | Copy

But you didn’t have to cut me you’re just somebody that i used to knowww

Gotye- someone I used to know song

[–]Giagle12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

This guy is someone that we used to know because of that song

[–]Andgelyo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]LordLoveRocket001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Miami nights 1984 did a class offical mix of this song.

[–]tripwithweird0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is that how you find out? Is the behavior and the energy?

[–]AcchanX7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks, need to hear this from another person. I dumped her ass yesterday and blocked on her everything i have.

[–]amoxicillin20203 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yes but isn’t the concept that if you’re an alpha in her eyes, she won’t cheat?

[–]EspressoCappuccino7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

The concept is if you're alpha she will decrease her chances of cheating on you. However, it all boils down to if she wants to cheat or not.

[–]CasaDeFranco0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've known Alpha men who were cheated on by their wife / girlfriend.

Yes, it comes down to his status and frame, but mostly it's her character and ability to have integrity.

[–]secondson12310 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Blocking a good idea?

[–]EspressoCappuccino3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Block her existence if possible

[–]Howdoiusesync39 points40 points  (5 children) | Copy

This is a great learning point to see where you fucked up.

Never try to control people or your girl.

indifference is power, if you hold it women will love you they way they can nothing more.

[–]3vil007[S] 35 points36 points  (3 children) | Copy

My mistake was trying to be what she wanted me to be.

[–]Howdoiusesync9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

what was that? You wanted her to be her BB?

Trust me dawg, some of these girls are so smart they'll outsource their own sexual strategy.

[–]agjrpsl11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

And what was that? Tell us what happened and who the guy was. How old is she and how long were you two ltr.

[–]LazerSpin3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Keep in mind you could have done everything right 100% and this could have still happened.

Lick your wounds and don’t kick yourself. I’m suoer happy that you dodged this slut bullet.

[–]AcchanX3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This right here, she found it "controlling" even though i was just teaching her how to be human and clearly i've learnt that men have more empathy than women.

[–][deleted] 99 points100 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hey so you bought a ring, be thankful you at least didn't marry this bum whore.

[–]CasaDeFranco6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I had the same thing happen earlier in the year. It was painful but I realised it was a blessing.

[–]handsome_phantom19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

Everybody get’s got. Congrats on breaking your cherry. Think of it as a blessing in disguise. Use that pain for positivity and improvement.

[–]furcryingoutloud20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy

Expectations. It all boils down to expectations. You meet a beautiful girl, and you begin to look for signals that this one may be the one. Your expectations rise every time you spot a signal that raises a green flag. Wow! This one's a keeper you tell yourself, so your expectations rise again. Finally, your expectations are so full of shit, you think this girl was put on earth to serve as your wife, lover, whore, friend, mommy, hell, she's your best friend!

OP, you expected too much and now you're shocked because she failed to live up to your expectations. You're hurt because you never thought this was possible. Well, it is, and as you can see, even a special snowflake shaped like a unicorn and painted like a golden pony will slip and fall on someone else's dick. You didn't fail in causing her to do this, you failed in believing that your snowflake was different.

Human nature is human nature. Women will cheat if they can find the right justification and come out looking like they are not at fault. Pass up the abs on that Chad? No fucking way dude. Men will also cheat, but we don't seem to be too interested in how we look after we got our noodles wet. Hey, we fucked, good enough for us! My point is, you can't blame a bird for flying any more than you can fault a fish for swimming. You can take responsibility for having expectations that your bird won't fly, or your fish won't swim, but ultimately, you're setting yourself up for failure.

Now I'm not saying that we should accept infidelity, I'm saying we should not be shocked and surprised when it inevitably happens. Because, I have news for you, unless you lo-jacked your unicorn, and have drones flying around her all day, you just might be a cuck and never know about it. Just saying.

My advice to you is to get your noodle into some pussy stat. At this stage, even a hooker is better than sitting around moping and feeling hurt because your feelings. Don't make any attempts to get into a relationship. Just find all the pussy you can muster and build your ego back up. And the next time, temper your expectations so if it happens again, you'll be thinking that it probably took long enough before she slipped.

Good luck dude.

[–]antariusz4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Your advice is good except don’t ever let there be a next time.

Just build up all the pussy you can, NEVER stop chasing. You can have a long term relationship, but she should be the one posting on Reddit asking how she can lock you down after 7 years of non-exclusive dating, not YOU asking how to propose after 7 months.

[–]_lexxxi_981 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pussy is like pokemon cards. You gotta collect them all.

[–]furcryingoutloud0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We agree, just tell that to these guys. There will most certainly be a next time and no amount of us telling them not to have a next time will make them not go for it again.

Personally, I'm done with the next times.

[–]go_home_cook_rice 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

What were the red flags prior to the cheating?

[–]CasaDeFranco19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

My “unicorn” cheated.

No discernible red flags. She confessed that she cheated in a drunken one night stand a few weeks after asking for she asked for exclusivity - much later after the fact.

It was an early exclusivity (<6 month vetting), I was going away for a business trip.

She seldom drank (couldn’t handle it when she did), no social media, solid wholesome family, (apparently) low n count, no tattoos, was a genuinely sweet woman - wife material I thought.

I have plated thots, I’ve dated in three continents, it was the last woman I thought would cheat.

She felt guilty and realised it was manipulative not to inform me the truth.

I respect she confessed, but it was years too late; we haven’t spoken since.

The mistake was lack of vetting, and conceding too early to exclusivity. She simply had poor character to not sleep around in those four weeks - especially given she wanted exclusivity; I travel a lot for business so I realise it’s a blessing.

I concluded I projected my values on her and she simply wasn’t the woman I thought she was. You are the company you keep, perhaps she changed with time together but infidelity is a hard line for me.

[–]rizzyfromthe913 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thank god you found out now before you put that ring on her fuck

[–]thechaosz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't ever marry

[–]seducter8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry to hear, man. How’d you find out?

[–]Kabuki43110 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

Hey buddy most of us have been there and truly understand the pain/hurt/betrayal. Being said that, welcome to the club.

Time to get into arcade mode

Rack up those plates in gym on bench

Rack up the n count

At this point i personally feel its a feature in women rather than malfunction.

Never get attached, never be disappointed. Let her be someone else's problem, get your dick wet and drop her like a used toilet paper.

[–]asskisser0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Never get attached

Does that mean, never enter LTR?

[–]Kabuki4311 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Imo LTR is a vetting process. You just can't go finding one. Till then no investment of emotion, times, resources.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ive bought a ring even. Was ready to propose.

File under "Bullets, Dodged."

[–]alittletoosmooth2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. You won the lottery, OP. Most poor guys don't find out until after they have a kid or two. Congratulations on the fresh start. Time to celebrate. Ding-dong, the bitch is dead!

[–]thechaosz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

And, "Don't ever again"

[–]Shoregrey 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

I dont hate women, I just dont and wont ever trust them. Think of them as wasps and scorpions. I dont "hate" wasps and scorpions, but I know if I put myself in a specific situation with them that I WILL get stung.

[–]writewhereileftoff2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Well you don't have to trust them not to cheat. You can trust them to be women in every situation. Realistically she's completely outside of your control so it's pointless to try. Enjoy their company but you have to realise there are always going to be better options out there for her. Accept it, live with it. Don't chase, don't control, let her be all that she can be and(not) surprisingly thats attractive, because so little men, even powerful ones do it like this. Instead they project their inscurities on her and chase her away.

Chill, theres plenty more women out there. You're expecting females to be loyal like men, their loyalty is self nature intended. If she chooses a guy that turns out to be a weakling she might die during the 9months where she'll become slow and vulnerable, because protection and resources are your job.

It's all very logical really

[–]Shoregrey 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

You arent educating me. They are creatures of basically what I am saying is they are kids. Adults delay gratification. Children want what they want and they want it now. It's that simple.

[–]writewhereileftoff1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're still angry... Instant gratification is not unique to women or children.

[–]sebastianconcept7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Be grateful that this happen before proposing. It would have hurt even more and put you in risk of divorce rape.

Men don’t have motives to marry anymore.

And I mean of all ages.

[–]Ell25092 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sorry what's divorce rape?

[–]sebastianconcept9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whatch this little story

Divorce rape is what is called to the anti-men legislation and judiciary system of this epoch. The law is so against men, so abusive, that people started to call it rape.

[–]extraterrestial10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was cheated on by a girlfriend long ago, after the relationship I found out that she had cheated on the guy before me.

After she cheated on me she moved in with a new guy that she also cheated on.

Later on she got married, had kids, and cheated on her husband with her coworker.

Now shes I a relationship with her coworker, divorced and probably cheating on her current partner.

Some women cheat, accept that reality and it's not about you man.

[–]nixon9933 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

My gf broke up with me last night.We both cried but i was the one who cared more and i knew it.

[–]Crixusgannicus7 points8 points  (10 children) | Copy




Thank your lucky stars, whatever gods may be, or your left nut that this happened

BEFORE you put a ring on it, otherwise in many states half or MORE of your shit would be hers.

Thank your lucky stars, whatever gods may be, or your left nut that this happened

BEFORE you put a baby or babies in her because then you would be a financial slave to her and the state for at least the next 18 years!

Thank your lucky stars, whatever gods may be, or your left nut that this happened


She hit The Wall because eventually she WILL hit The Wall, maybe even sooner than you are she thinks. Some women hit The Wall in their thirties and NO woman escapes The Wall. You can even enjoy some schadenfreude from that fact!

WE do NOT hate them. We seek to

Understand Women(yes that is doable!) and


[–]Condescending-Guy0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

Most women have already hit the wall by late 20s lol, that's when they start passively looking for a provider. They usually still ride the carousel a few more times until they no longer get any attention from drunk Chads in the bars, but, they know their sexual strategy needs to change by their late 20s.

[–]Crixusgannicus1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Yeah I'm being probably overly optimistic with the 30s thing. And they seem to hit The Wall earlier and earlier. Probably because a lot of them look now like grown women whilst still being illegal.

[–]Condescending-Guy4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy

I think women are hitting the wall earlier because that's what a decade of late nights, partying, blackout drunk, and gang bangs does to them. Women are starting earlier and earlier. One of my old roommates was tutoring a girl once, told me she was really hot, huge tits, just his type. He found out she goes to nightclubs frequently, with her fake ID. He found out she was 15 years old. By the time this girl is 25, she's going to have long hit the wall.

[–]Crixusgannicus0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Yeah. What's REALLY fucked up is your old roommate or some other poor bastard who has EVERY reason to believe she's legal (looks, presence in adult club, HER lying to him), even if he checks her ID (who the fuck checks id unless you're making a porno) would still get the book thrown at him for fucking her.

[–]Condescending-Guy0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

This is the harsh cruel reality of the misandry environment we live in.

[–]Crixusgannicus0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy's "our" own fault. 99% of the bullshit we deal with was enacted when men essentially still ran everything. Alimony, bitch gets half, child support, "statutory". All of it. Can't really blame bitches for our self inflicted wounds.

[–]Condescending-Guy1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yes this is true. I too blame men for the problems we face. Weak men, that let themselves get walked all over.

[–]Crixusgannicus0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

That's right.

[–]Condescending-Guy1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's no wonder TRP is looked down on by the betas and women.

[–]cafeitalia3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The most important thing is to have IDGAF attitude. Not easy but it is what it is.

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You dodged a bullet. Imagine if that happened with a marriage, kids and finances...

Will be painful for a while but realize you are literally in a better situation RIGHT NOW. You are no longer living life with a cheater. You can see all your BP mistakes and learn from them. Improve yourself in all areas and give it some time and you'll be fine.

[–]OfficerWade3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Chad thunder cock is a fantasy. It’s a man being in the right place, right time. Square peg- square hole

Go drink some beer with your buddies this weekend. Hit the gym. And work on a strategy that will get you on your feet, again. Good luck.

[–]Condescending-Guy4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I've been cheated on (I think) in the past with my first girlfriend. I didn't know what I was doing, I was neurotic and insecure, and I had little experience with women at the time. Despite everything, I was hopeful we would work it out. We had good times and bad times. She loved me, there's no doubt, but women don't love men the way men love women. Women love men the way they love their dogs. It's all about convenience for them. They will love you as long as it's convenient. But one day, they're gonna pass by a new dog that's also cute, and now they wanna pet that one too, and for a brief moment, their dog doesn't exist to them anymore. Once she's done petting the new dog, she goes back to her dog covered in the new dog's hair, and continues petting her old reliable faithful dog that's always there. This comforts her. Comfort is good. Petting new dogs is also good. Feels good. If it feels good she'll do it. Some girls realize their dogs don't like it when they pet other dogs, they get angry at the whiff of another dog's scent. They don't like other dog hair around. Respectfully, she will clean herself up properly, and now her dog doesn't have a clue. No matter how much she loves her dog, there will always be other cute dogs out there to pet. Some girls will form a strong bond with their dog, they will know not to pet other dogs, so they won't, except, every now and again, she'll have strong urges to do so. She can only contain herself for so long before she slips up. Very few never slip up, but they'll get close. Dangerously close. This is "the one". This is the best you can hope for in a LTR woman in this world. Someone that will almost cheat on you, who will seriously consider it, but will resist the temptation. This is what you should set your expectations to. She's human, and so are you. You're not any more a perfect unicorn than she is.

With my first gf, I went through her phone one day after we were fighting, found out she met her ex-bf at a bar for drinks. Confronted her. Her excuse was she wanted "closure". Most likely they banged, or at least made out, but it's hard to say. Either way that was a hard line for me. I dumped her, and started my red pill journey. I think that first month was the most painful month of my life. I blocked her on everything. Everything. She created new email accounts and would send me long emails telling me how much she loves me. I sometimes mistakenly sent back angry emails. Pretty stupid of me. It just prolonged the pain. Went radio silent for a couple of months. Started dating a new girl. Virgin. Kind. Super into me. I was damaged from my last relationship. Went through her facebook messages one night. Poor guy from another country she's been talking to for the last few years, who was planning to move to be with her. Their messages were like a Disney fairy tale, except, the messages got colder since she met me. She was aloof, short, and distant with him in her messages. He noticed it. He asked her why she's willing to throw everything away, everything they've been planning for years. She couldn't tell him the truth. I confronted her. Demoted to plate. Banged her a few months, she started putting on some weight, I lost my attraction, dumped her. This was 6 years ago. She's still with him now.

Went on to plate my first gf after this experience. First gf was trying to win me back hard, I tried to ignore it. She was seeing another guy during the time I was plating her. Beta me was trying to rationalize getting back with her. Look at all this effort she's putting in. Driving hours to see me, giving me long blowjobs, wild sex, dressing up for me, etc. It was a slippery slope. One night I saw her other guy message her, and reality hit me like a truck... What the hell was I doing. I had to get out. I snapped at her and told her she messed with me the first time and there's no point in giving this another shot. Ghosted her for my own sanity. She freaked out. A couple of weeks later I started dating a cute nerdy Italian girl I've been casually chatting with over the last few months. She had a boyfriend the entire time I was chatting with her. I never thought much of it, I didn't think she liked me, I just enjoyed the conversations we had. When she and her bf broke up, she asked me to hang out. She came over with some friends, they brought drinks. She walked into my apartment looking adorably cute and put together. I asked her what's up how's life? She sat right next to me, looked at me with her big cute eyes, and told me she broke up with her BF. This was the first thing she said to me. I fucked her 8 times that night. Raw. She never had sex without a condom, thought she should try it out. She was on birth control (the ring) so I knew she wasn't lying. Wasn't a fan of condoms at that time myself. Came on her, in her, around her, everywhere. My ex gf found out I started seeing a new girl from one of my roommates that had a crush on her. She sent me long emails again. I read them, didn't respond, but was considering her words. Luckily I decided to move on for good.

Dated the Italian girl for about 2 years. She had a couple of red flags at the beginning, I confronted right away, she took every step to fix everything. Eviscerated her beta orbiters. No going to parties without me or without checking in with me on her plans. If a guy messaged her anything dubious she would show me right away. No secrets. Met her family. Big family. They loved me. All of them. Nothing but nice things to say about me. She was on her best behaviour 24/7 with me. Not a single red flag, not a single bad gut feeling, completely polar opposite of my last girlfriend. This is the girl that guys dream about but never find. She was everything I thought I wanted. I got bored. Cheated on her. Opened the relationship up against her wishes, started fucking hotter smarter girls. I outgrew her. She was dying inside, I could tell, but she wanted to continue to work it out with me even though she had no interest in other men. I couldn't do it to her. Had to break up with her. She understood. We had breakup sex. She cried. She told me after that her family was disappointed in her, for not being able to make things work out with me. I'm an asshole, but it's what this world made me. I'm working on it, one day at a time.

My first gf opened my eyes to women's nature. I ended up ghosting my first gf for like 5 years because I genuinely could not give a fuck about her anymore, because I definitely outgrew her too. She randomly popped back into my life again through instagram. She had a bf, a house, a dog. She was getting married. 1 month before her wedding she was blowing up my instagram with DMs pouring her heart out to me. She hasn't been able to forget about me. Every single day she thinks about me. She's living a lie. She loves her fiancee but she loves me too. How could this be happening? I was her best she said. Best boyfriend she's ever had. She still watches videos from when we were together. She thinks I'm way hotter now. Wants to meet up. I amused it for a bit and teased her a bit, but then I put a hard stop to it. Reminded her she's getting married and to start acting right. Told her I have zero feelings for her, I've moved on. Nothing she can do. I'm fucking hotter, smarter, better women than her. I told her that I am happy for her, and I want what's best for her. I told her I need to block her, this isn't healthy. I will not fuck around with someone getting married. After a while of calming her down, she agreed that I needed to block her. She has a kid now with this guy.

I've been in crazy situations with women my whole life. Each one, a new story. Each one, totally crazy. Still growing, still learning, still improving. Nowhere near my peak. About to hit 30, plan on being single a long time.

Long rant but I hope it helps some of you guys. I've had the bad girlfriend and I've had the perfect wifey girlfriend. Both didn't work out. At the end of the day, what you're left with is yourself. Invest in yourself, not women. This is the true path to nirvana.

[–]3vil007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's nice to see how you've learned and grow. I was that guy who work on myself. I have a pretty successful life in friends, finance, and woman. I was banging a lot of woman. It felt empty. She came along and filled that void. I let my guard down. I felt safe.

My life became all about her, this is why it hurt so much. I forgot about all the good things I've built for myself.

I've learned.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (10 children) | Copy

Now I'm totally destroyed.

No you fucking aren't, faggot. Yeah it hurts. Embrace the suck.

[–]3vil007[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children) | Copy

I won't be ok, not today, but I will be.

[–]thenewyorkmind8 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy

Did you see ANY red flags prior to her cheating?

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

She had a vagina.

[–]3vil007[S] 13 points14 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yeah, and I was ignoring it.

[–]Roach_Senpai25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy

What were they ? Can be a lesson for all of us

[–]PhaedrusHunt14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

What were they? Spend some time deconstructing the situation.

[–]macheagle8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Curious what red flags they were too..

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What were the red flags?

[–]Mzo20162 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

What happened?? Tell us

[–]blasted_biscuits1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's not yours, it's just your turn. Be grateful you didn't marry her and have kids then find out.

[–]JamesBondsOldBrother 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

In the short term: this is really shitty for you. In the long term: best case scenario.

Because she cheated and you found out before you got married, you 1.) won’t get dragged through divorce court with her and 2.) you can find someone else that’s not a whore.

[–]Garathon1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Never get married period.

[–]thechaosz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This should be at the top of the side bar

[–]redpilllogin2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nothing about the trp tells you to hate women, just like nothing in the Bible says to hate gay people. People make their own interpretations based on their own beliefs. As far as your gf cheating, it seems like you haven't been reading much red pill like you said. Consider this a lesson learned and use the pain as fuel.

[–]Spaghetti17761 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No hymen no diamond

[–]antichrist_redpill1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Being in a relationship is 99% of times being the beta boyfriend. Don't be that. You should be the men women turn to for sex and passion, not for security and love. Rollo Tomassi advice: Never be in a LTR before 30 or even 35. You didn't get cheated on because you didn't mistakes or weren't good enough or didn't vetted her good. You were cheated on because you chose to be her provider.

[–]3vil007[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

I thought being a man is to be the provider.

[–]thechaosz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Absolutely not. That's beta bux.

How did you find out? Who did she cheat with? Just curious for crowd sourcing info and learning from others.

[–]Mikejonz1110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You’d have to do everything u/espressocappuccino said or else you’ll find yourself subconsciously orbiting. Everything he said is the key to get over it I’ve been there before except I wasn’t broken because what she did confirmed what the red pill teaches. I always thought she was a unicorn.

[–]AmIDyslexicStoner4190 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you will come out of this a much better man. I guarantee it. It will take some time but you will. Good luck bro.

[–]oldertybasterd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Be thankful this didn’t happen after you proposed and got married or worse had kids. Embrace the sadness but don’t sulk in it. It will be tough trust me but use this time to wake up and move forward being the best version of yourself. Don’t try to act how you think a woman would want you to act. Do what’s best for you and prioritize yourself not women.

[–]WeddingCrasher910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry Bro. Care to elaborate? Like what happened? How did you find out ? Did she show any signs before?

[–]thiikn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How'd you find out?

Be thankful that you're single again, ready to smash some pussy! I'm assuming you did your homework and kept your lifting in check.

[–]RompeChocha0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No biggie, on to the next, and/or just make her a regular plate.

[–]spider_13370 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't think it was her fault you reacted the way you did. Women will cheat or leave or do whatever they like if they feel like it. Youre brain just tricked you into thinking she was special. You probably rationalized a way all her faults as long as that dopamine and oxytocin kept pumping. Sometimes we think we're immune to oneitis when it suddenly sucker punches you in the face. The next time you have a relationship w a girl make sure to be more mindful of her actions as well as yours. Ask yourself "Am i being logical here?" Try and catch the onetis before you find yourself in the same situation you found yourself in today

[–]NobodyP10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Be thankful it happened now you will treat girls for what they are

[–]SheriffBart420 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Not to rub it in, but your glassy-eyed romanticism was part of the reason she cheated.

[–]NeptunusVII0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Romanticism is an art movement though.

[–]Sove1310 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Most people will experience it at some point. Go and LIFT yourself up. Feeling empty or sad ? Use those emotions to become a better you. It's about the journey.

[–]MrSlommy70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stay strong brother

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

50 cent - no romeo no juliet

[–]deathhandmachiavelli0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Everyone has been cheated on. This has happened to everyone.

I had a girl who I thought was the most special snowflake the world. She ended up breaking up with me unexpectedly and returned with her former boyfriend.

Looking back, I'm glad it happened, because I experienced a lot of better women after her. There were girls who were much prettier, smarter, and who I was much more compatible with.

[–]ToraChan230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hope you kept the receipt for that ring

[–]mustache_ride_0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Whatever you do, just remember you're inside the storm right now so no drastic moves, just let it pass first (most people don't think right midst emotional turmoils).

[–]3vil007[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah, lots of emotions and thoughts right now. I can't sleep or eat. Just smoking packs of cigarettes. But like you said, it'll pass.

[–]mustache_ride_0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Just smoking packs of cigarettes.

Cut that shit out. Get this instead:

Less lethal and less stinky - might help you get laid too, chicks love a guy on the rebound (unless he smells like a garbage truck).

[–]3vil007[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Oh shit I actually have this. I quit vaping 2 years ago. Now I'm back. Fuck.

[–]mustache_ride_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol... Not thinking straight in the storm. Take it easy, time heals away the cunts (oops, cuts).

[–]antariusz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Congratulations on finding out before you proposed. Honestly, it was a great for you to find out before hand.

[–]RedSkeller0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was in the exact same situation - I think we all were on this post. Read TRP but mostly for sport, practiced some of it but had a unicorn in my life so I played along. Sure enough we move in together and she snakes my computer one day which was the kiss of death, it limped along afterwards but the writing was on the wall. I had to tell her to leave even though I wanted the opposite. We were still hooking up a bit after but then she went ghost then tried to double back after she got dumped by chad. Was very painful, and took way too long for me to get over her completely. Take time with it, do what you can to get out of your head and try to be with friends and family while you heal up.

[–]G0rv0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Delete facebook. Lawyer up. Hit gym.

[–]liquorbaron0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Never fall "in love" with a woman. It blinds you to reality and puts her on a pussy pedestal in your mind; from there on out you're doomed with her. Men have the ability to love unconditionally. Women only love conditionally. We're hardwired differently. Learn to accept this and not resent women because of this. If you're going to resent anything resent that media and current society has fed you these lies about how relationships and how women are.

She was special

No she isn't. She's a woman (just like all women) and a human being (just like all human beings).

You shouldn't be destroyed. She'll be someone else's problem now.

[–]Yashugan000 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

you're a strong man for doing what's right for you. although you invested your time and effort in her . you recognise a lemon and cut your loss investment.

[–]3vil007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dumping her was the last respect I can give myself.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How did you find out?

[–]Snowaey0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No one that's truly redpilled hates women, we simply accept thing as they are and act accordingly. Don't spread misinformation.

[–]wawakaka0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Get some support bro. Hang with friends and chat with someone.

You are like Neo waking up from your sleep in the Matrix. Reality is a hard cruel master. You will be okay.

This is your wake up call to see how the world really is. the fantasy is beautiful I think we've all been there at some point but its not real.

[–]zboo1h0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome. "Disagree with some of the woman hating" that is you being a bitch, confusing love for hate.

You are experiencing a lot of mental and emotional pain because you confused love and hate, you yourself hate women because you expected one to behave unnaturally, against her nature.

I hope you garner knowledge of their nature, and use love to temper it. I'm glad your eyes are open. See what else you can realize now that they are open. And get a heavy fucking barbell in your hands as soon as possible.

You'll be fine.

[–]neso2250 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Everything happens for a reason so dont look at it with bad eyes instead look at it with good eyes think about it you were going to propose to her but then this happened so youre saved.

[–]enlightedM0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is very helpful. Thank you. You know when you are feeling really down or going through hard phase in your life, mentors like you mentioned can be really helpful.

Thanks again.

[–]SativaTony0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome to the Real world. shit happens.

Don't worry too much about it and understand that she's human and humans do fucked up shit.

Don't take any girl seriously.

Always make sure you have options.

Keep an abundance mindset.

Go find another bitch.

[–]ngyuhnang0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m sorry this happened to you, but remember this, “she’s not yours, it’s just your turn”. You dodged a bullet here.

[–]ngyuhnang0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I’m sorry this happened to you, but remember this, “she’s not yours, it’s just your turn”. You dodged a bullet here.

[–]3vil007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I read that a lot. And now I understood it emotionally.

[–]TheBunk_TB0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Polite suggestion: Go out and have a good time with friends. Hit the gym and exercise. Wait a little bit and then get on with everything. Yes, I had to do the same thing. I do wish you peace.

(Had a chick, albeit with no ring, make a complete turn away from any future between us and got back with her physically abusive ex, who she was probably screwing at the time. It took me a week to get on with life and I focused on friends/work.)

This does happen but I second what EspressoCappuccino said "Block her everywhere". Don't let her crawl back or call you. She has already made her worth known. She might not even qualify for a Tuesday. Please insert bus analogy here.

Take care and have peace.

[–]redarkane0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm sorry man. We're all in this together.

[–]mrrooftops0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

How'd you find out?

[–]3vil007[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Friends. Good friends.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

and disagree with some of the woman hating

What woman hating is that exactly? We tell the truth about women. That is not the same as hating.

[–]3vil007[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

A lot of the times, I read posts that make all woman sounds like sub human. They are inferrier to men. It's not all posts, but a lot of it gives that vibe.

I understand this might be bp line of thoughts. But I make honest effort to give every one I've met the same respect until proven otherwise. This might be dumb of me to do so, but it gives me hope that there are some good out there.

I've lived that banging hoes life. I had 3 plates that will show up to my house with few text. But it felt empty.

I want a live where I care about my partner as much as she cares about me. It might be a fairy tail, but it's hard to give that up.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

They are inferrier to men

Inferior isn't the same as hatred..... even sub-human isn't the same as hatred. People love dogs, but they're generally considered sub-human and inferior.

I want a live where I care about my partner as much as she cares about me. It might be a fairy tail, but it's hard to give that up.

We all want that. We are biologically programmed to want this and to believe in it.

Doesn't make it real.

[–]3vil007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are right. And it sucks.

[–]Casd120 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I hate the concept of, this one girl is special and TRP's stance that no girl is special. They're all special. Every single one. So if youre tried of your current "special" chick, just go out and get another "special" chick.

[–]3vil007[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This is something I can get behind.

[–]Casd120 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Chicks are like cars. I wana drive them all

[–]thechaosz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy






Wtf is wrong with people?

[–]mickenrorty0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are maybe in the top 1% of lucky men to have bought a ring but not yet proposed... before getting totally red pilled. She did you the most valuable favour of your adult life. Words cannot describe how lucky you are

[–]Unbiased1010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is the best thing that happened to you. This will wake up the Alpha in you

[–]Estrogenoxygen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Now your red pill journey truly begins

[–]kclanton800 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Trp doesn't preach women hating. It merely explains female nature.

[–]macheagle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Elder care will also be huge in the next 10-15 years due to the aging boomer population.

[–]JazzyHustlah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]SonOfMammon-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

gets cheated on

i dont agree with some of the women hating here


[–]LeEbinConchShell-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

well at least you didn't marry her first. pump n dump is the only logical conclusion, preferably with a vasectomy. modern, western women offer no value outside of their 3 holes.

[–]awesomebudhha-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Were you in love with your LTR?

[–]3vil007[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

In love was a understatement. I was ready to give her everything.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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