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Girls who actually want you vs. girls who want you to want her.

Reddit View
October 19, 2019
122 upvotes

Ideally, we want to be with the girls who actually want us. The power dynamic is in our favor and we are able to get more of the best out of her.

But is it worth going after girls who want us to want her first? They typically play games and behave in a withholding manner to keep us wanting more. For guys whose SMV is capped out at 7.5-8 or who are in the process of raising it up by improving themselves, is it even worth talking to these girls if the power shift is in their favor from the get go? People in asktrp typically say next and then there are others who upvote comments that say be persistent. Maybe the answer is it depends. But I’m just curious what most people’s thoughts are on this.

ITPOLWATR! - Worm, Rounders


Post Information
Title Girls who actually want you vs. girls who want you to want her.
Author AlphaBinomialDistrib
Upvotes 122
Comments 61
Date 19 October 2019 06:23 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/291810
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dk7kxr/girls_who_actually_want_you_vs_girls_who_want_you/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
sexual market value
Comments

[–]Kobinks156 points157 points  (26 children) | Copy

For me she's a fuck yes or i'm a fuck no.

Just polarise them the second you meet them, the difference between a girl that's kind of into you and a girl that's mad for you is astronomical.

[–]AlphaBinomialDistrib[S] 44 points45 points  (6 children) | Copy

This is the right answer I believe.

I think a lot of it depends on how you view yourself and if you truly think youre the prize.

[–]tygacoffee2020 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

I think a lot of it depends on how you view yourself and if you truly think youre the prize.

I agree with that but how do you project that without it coming off as being cocky?

[–]AlphaBinomialDistrib[S] 26 points27 points  (3 children) | Copy

What’s wrong with coming off as cocky? As long as youre demonstrating it and not trying to convince people with your words that you are the man.

[–]bodybuilder983 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Confidence =/= cockiness.

[–]tygacoffee2020 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Well I feel like I'm making a fool of myself lol but you've got a good point!

[–]theyearsstartcomin14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Showing, not telling, is vital

[–]youcantstopmyzed8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

[–]Standgrounding0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh, mark manson.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

polarise them the second you meet them

could you elaborate sir

[–]Kobinks10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Instead of beating around the bush and wasting 20 minutes talking to them or getting a number and wasting days of time, you resolve the whole thing in 2 minutes flat.

She either loves you or she hates you, we remove the grey area in-between completely.

This only works if you're attractive and with certain personality types;

I'm cocky and forward, if she's not receptive to that i'll just remove myself from the interaction and not waste time, you can't negotiate attraction.

So we avoid wasting time on birds that aren't worth the hassle, where as the receptive one's are really in to it and will go along with pretty much anything you want.

From "come back mine" in the nightclub to anal in 30 minutes flat.

If you only talk to girls that are eyeing you up you can usually get it done on the first try too.

[–]Hungboy69694201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep shit or get off the pot as quickly as possible. Maybes or unknowns are time wasters. Just like in sales

[–]jackandjill222 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy

How do you filter that out? What's your method for this?

[–]thrwy754792 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

You'll know it when you experience it. Aside from not being goofy, or needy, you won't have to do anything to persuade her. You only have to be nearby.

When a girl's in heat, and you're exactly what she wants, you won't be able to keep her off your dick.

[–]jackandjill221 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

I know that I had multiple girls I was talking to during fashion week one was actually in the shows & I had been talking to for a week & when I was in NYC she told me where she was the entire time so we could meet up. She was trying to meet for lunch. There was another girl who wasn't doing anything & she just flaked out despite us having talked longer.

  • My question is how can you tell if there's attraction there beforehand?

[–]thrwy754792 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

I had been talking to for a week

Was there any flirting, implicit or explicit sexual chatter?

she told me where she was the entire time so we could meet up

Might be a good sign.

She was trying to meet for lunch.

What is the context? If you both work in the same industry, and you're there for work, could she be trying to establish a professional connection?

My question is how can you tell if there's attraction there beforehand?

I was on public transport, and simply standing, holding one of the poles, waiting for my stop. On the way, a girl came on, grabbed the same pole, and was literally in my face to the point that I had to say hello. She seemed kind of nervous.

Another example, again on public transport, at night, sitting at the back, there was 1 empty seat next to me. It was fairly full. A girl comes on, kind of smiles nervously, I smile back, and she sits next to me. While moving towards my stop, she gradually slightly moves her leg so that it was touching mine, and I wasn't manspreading. Neither of us flinched, or moved away, and it was an invitation to be more touchy.

Nervousness, physical proximity (especially if she's going out of her way), and "accidental" touching are big indicators that a girl wants that D. She wants you to lead her to it though.

[–]jackandjill221 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I appreciate that. I don't live where I date, the girls where I live are in short supply & ugly so I have been building side-girls in different cities we keep in touch via technology so I'm trying to gauge attraction from a distance. Like reply time, other IOI's based on how she treats you.

We do work in the same industry I'm de facto casting director. She was from L.A. California repped by an agency coming to NYC for the first time. She reached out to me via my social media (had just been featured in a Levi' s campaign) & was flirting up until the week it started telling me she was in town. She arrived as did I & she gave me her schedule attempting to coordinate some stuff.

[–]thrwy754791 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm assuming that connections are imperative for success in that industry. You would need more information to gauge whether she's attracted, or she's being friendly to build her network, and move ahead in her career.

Also, you're probably already aware, you have to be careful lest your professional reputation be damaged by any incidents.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They are important. I've been reaching out to this subreddit attempting to see how to use clout to game women as that's my strongest selling point of my SMV aside from pure attraction. Perhaps that's true but quid pro quo isn't a problem for me as long as we both get what we're after.

Yes, I'm aware I appreciate it. I usually try to keep things very friendly & on a proffessional fwb type situation. I'm not a complete asshole about it. It seemed like it because her invitations were persistent & she was very proactive. Discretion & mutual understanding are very important.

[–]Kobinks0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

You should instinctively be able to tell

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Im building plates out of town, read the thread below.

[–]Kobinks1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Right i just have, it comes down to two points.

If you're seeing her in person you just polarise and escalate immediately and then you can gauge her receptiveness, now as you're doing this in a more professional environment i'd probably be a little more cautious.

For long distance or text game it depends if you've fucked or not already...

If you have then you can build up a bit of anticipation and keep the feelz going.

If not then it's nigh on impossible to build attraction over text, you need to actually hook her in first. That being said you can still try for logistics.

[–]KaiSmashSmashSawmash3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah but the ones who are mad for you are BPD

[–]Feedil4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Key point. If it’s too fucking easy, she’s likely BPD.

She still wants to be desired, and chased. It’s in feminine nature. I think a healthy woman would feel a little desire for a small amount of courtship. It’s should be like catching a very very small fish. Minimal fight, but you know it’s “coming in”.

If you’re high value, she’ll make it easier, but it shouldn’t be puzzle pieces falling in place for you.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed40 points41 points  (5 children) | Copy

If your cock isn't inside her in a reasonable time frame then you are just validation to her.

[–]awihsoj3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

What is reasonable

[–]SilverGryphon8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would say after 2-3 coffee dates. If she is really into you and you are doing it right, she won't play stupid games with you, those are for beta males.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

36 seconds

[–]_DonDraper_0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

36.5 actually

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nah dude that's needy

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorFieldLine36 points37 points  (2 children) | Copy

All girls want to feel passionately wanted. That's what turns them on.

They typically play games and behave in a withholding manner to keep us wanting more.

That's called a "tease" and is independent of a woman's desire to feel wanted. The juice there is never worth the required squeeze.

[–]kap1pa17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

If more guys stopped accepting crumbs from these women they'd stop the behavior. The problem is these guys are so used to just getting crumbs they think they are in the game and getting some where. It's kinda sad.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon39 points40 points  (8 children) | Copy

But is it worth going after girls who want us to want her first?

When a woman says "there has to be X before sex", she means "give me X for free and then there will not be sex".

She's not going to magically want you just because you've supplicated to her and showered her in attention.

They typically play games and behave in a withholding manner to keep us wanting more.

When she acts like this, you're not going to end up fucking her. It's all a game to reel you in and suck you dry (and not in the way you want). She'll pretend she does this to all the guys and you have to stick it out the longest ("prove your love") and you'll win in the end.

This is a lie.

She plays these games while fucking Chad.

is it even worth talking to these girls if the power shift is in their favor from the get go?

Basically no because she is attracted to the power dynamic working against her. Her being in control is a turnoff. Her losing the power dynamic is exciting and makes her more attracted.

Slight caveat: before sex she basically has the power dynamic in her favour so you usually have to compromise a little in the short term to get things rolling: eg approaching, setting up dates, etc. After a few lays things should shift in your favour. If they don't there are millions of better options out there.

[–]AlphaBinomialDistrib[S] 3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

As always, thanks for your input Matty.

Slight caveat: before sex she basically has the power dynamic in her favour so you usually have to compromise a little in the short term to get things rolling: eg approaching, setting up dates, etc. After a few lays things should shift in your favour. If they don't there are millions of better options out there.

Rollo said that when we first have sex with a girl, we are now in the frame of the woman. Do you think this is true? Or is only true for BP men?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy

Rollo said that when we first have sex with a girl, we are now in the frame of the woman. Do you think this is true? Or is only true for BP men?

Ok, this can go either way.

Bad way: now that repeated sex is a likely possibility we become her puppy dog and do what she says to please her.

There's a biological imperative here: we're programmed to protect the mothers of our children.

And sadly this is co-opted by women and they use our protective and fair minded nature to control us.

This is worst in an exclusive relationship. Most men utterly submit their very thought patterns in exchange for occasional sex.

Conversely, if you take exclusivity out of the deal, the power dynamic actually now favours you. You are happy with repeated sexual encounters, she is less so. She wants a guy who'll stick around and fuck her good, you have the option to leave. She has given up the option to make-him-wait. She's admitted you're plenty good enough for her.

In short: after sex a couple of times, the power dynamic has shifted as much in your favour as it ever will. She now has to try and play for a relationship, you're free to fuck her and others. You're now winning (biologically).

This is also the time when relationships have the most value to a man: new girl, he's happy to leave, he's having regular sex, girl is generally helpful and nice.

As time goes on typically the value of that relationship drops, often precipitously. The demands for commitment increase, the sex diminishes, the nagging starts.... and it's all downhill from there. 2-3 years of this and the guy is so beaten down he says things like "ah well, guess I should get married now" (complete abandonment of his masculinity to serve the female imperative).

In short: if you play it right then sex puts you in an advantageous position.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking finally some real deal shit being spit in these forums again.

The last couple months has been like a ghost town.

Great work, Matty.

[–]AlphaBinomialDistrib[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Thanks.

I guess right is the Trp adage, spin plates and have abundance

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Certainly this is the first phase.

I'm open to ideas on long term relationships, and enjoy a few of them myself.

Exclusivity though... that fucking sucks.... it hands over your balls and places them in a vice that she has exclusive control over. Guy tells himself we are "Building a future together" while she's thinking "How can I get more out of this provider".

[–]mountainbiker1780 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'm open to ideas on long term relationships, and enjoy a few of them myself.

Exclusivity though... that fucking sucks....

Do you ever communicate your non-exclusivity overtly, or do you think it's better to be covert about it? I get the sense that for most things it's better to be covert with women, mysterious.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you ever communicate your non-exclusivity overtly, or do you think it's better to be covert about it? I get the sense that for most things it's better to be covert with women, mysterious.

Overtly.

Girls don't ask before sex if you do it right.

At some point they bluff, but they're not really serious about it because they know they'll stay regardless, at least for a while.

[–]sstidman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's all a game to reel you in and suck you dry (and not in the way you want).

Ha ha :-) Too funny.

[–]PiperBigBell53 points54 points  (4 children) | Copy

The fact that you're even thinking in this terminology is screwing you up. Too many labels to too many different things is stifling. All women love attention and feeling wanted. But you know what they love more? Chasing and submitting to a high value man, like their design intends.

They're much happier submitting to you than you to them. Girls who make you chase aren't going to give you what you want. You'll always feel like the work reward ratio is fucked up. You should be picking a girl who checks off most of your boxes. Then make her chase. You ever been fucked by a hot girl who was yes, yes, yes, more more more for you and gave you her soul. Who fucked you like her life depended on it without you having to give up much.

Big difference between that and girls who give you haha..maybe...idk..lol..we can try.. you'll never be properly validated as a man by a chick who doesn't comply submit, and undermines your role. Which is not to chase her. No. But give her a program to follow!

I don't fuck low interest chicks. Not worth it.

[–]kap1pa5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wish I can upvote this twice

[–]MrAnderzon2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can tell when certain guys don't have I'm the prize mentality and just want to jump all those hoops to get that low interest chick.

They say stuff like there's this girl I have been talking to or me and this girl have been texting.

[–]Hungboy69694200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Right and why even fuck her , you know she's not really into it if you even get there

[–]1redhawkes13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Those thots are know as cock tease. From my experience, if you want to play that game, starve them from attention, but your SMV has to be above hers. They'll start chase you the moment you turn to another chick. Lean more on the asshole side.

In most cases, they are just chasing validation, and the mofo is left with blue balls. Always go for fuck yes girls.

[–]MrAnderzon4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

When in doubt agree and make it worse

Better to have been an asshole and lost than to never have been an asshole at all

[–]ThatsReallyGr87 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you want a King earn him.

[–]bluefingerblue6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don’t win those kind of girls over by doing what they demand of you. It’s a dynamic they create to trap betas. Don’t play that game.

Once she sees you as a “you need to do X before we hook up” kinda guy, it’s over. Not worth it.

The only way to win those kind of girls over is by improving yourself so you’re in a better position for the next girl of her caliber.

This idea is as follows: keep improving yourself and if you hypothetically met that same girl 12 months later, you’d be in the “she wants you” camp instead of the “she wants you to want her” category.

[–]Nofapislit9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

go after it. started with 6's at hb 7.5 figure soon i'll pulls steady 8's your bein over analytical be more assertive. Assertiveness will raise your smv by one point if you max it out in a healthy way don't be an insane dick.

[–]443610664 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I never meet girls who’re fuck yes about me where I live, maybe just a couple, I’m 24 and two years into TRP.

Whereas I’ve dated girls who were that much into me living overseas. Difference is day and night.

[–]Totalfuckingloser124 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I want girls of all types and no girls want me to want them

[–]Statistical_Evidence2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some girls want to be chased and some girls are happy to chase. I only go for the later. If a girl thinks she's doing you a favour by talking to you, she's a bitch, ditch her.

[–]treehauz1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Good question, nice read along the topic. Thanks.

[–]AlphaBinomialDistrib[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

thanks

[–]MrAnderzon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Everyone's different. Some men want that feeling that they were able to "convince" them to have sex. That their game was able to turn them around from not wanting sex at all with them in the first place.

Attraction is not negotiable. TRP Quote: We do not negotiate with Terrorist Been said before. It's either a Fuck Yes or a Fuck No. Why pursue a women who doesn't want you.

It's a lot easier with a women when she wants you. Take the lead and paraphrase: Our time together would be better spent if we both want the same thing. Sex/Relationship/Friendship

Whatever is you the man wants and she agrees and follows.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Top post already said it. You solve this by polarizing her.

Force her to be fuck yes or no, and withdraw if she's a no.

She enters your frame, or she doesn't.

[–]ohris0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It depends on who you want. If you want someone then she's worth it, you don't want to end up with a chick that you don't want.

The thing is, girls who show signs of interest to get validation from you are as into you as any other random girl, which is minimal. So you'll have to get them hooked first. It's a hassle, on one hand you'll have to hold frame and withstand the manipulation, and on the other hand, doing that will give you an edge and she might end up actually wanting you.

[–]coconutismyreligion-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depends how much of a man you are



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