Past few years I’ve gone into a lot of self improvement. NoFap, TRP, Lifting. I originally started cause I wanted to become the best version of myself. I’ve improved but I also feel like I lose the fun goofy part of personality I used to have and it sucks. Anyone in the same boat? How can I fix it?

Ohboohoolittlegirl · 2019-10-21T13:28:31+00:00

It's what happens when Men just take TRP at face value and ONLY focus on what TRP tells you to do.
You should be reinforcing your character and personality, not wipe it out to become an "Alpha" in the way that the TRP seems to think it's good.

You need that personality and character to stand out.

In order to be TRP, you don't have to fit in. Fuck that, I never fitted in and never will. Instead, I use that part of my personality to gain friends, interest whatever, i just needed to reinforce it with TRP principles such as lifting, reading body language and confidence.

Before TRP I was clueless to IOI's, body language etc. So I had issues recognising women were actually interested. Had I not been insecure and a bit awkward cause I was "different" always, I would have been considered a Chad. But alas, I needed TRP to realise what I did wrong.

You do now aswell, stop taking yourself so serious(Cause you think that is what "alpha" is) and have fun

Do not wipe out your personality to become a TRP robot.

TigerTamingSword · 2019-10-21T13:45:06+00:00

I believe it's part of the cycle of self improvement. In the beggining, you see yourself as flawed and try to change your nature. It is good, because it forces you out of your comfort zone, exposing yourself to a myriad of situations you tended to avoid. This grind is difficult, but fruitful. Eventually, however, the constant effort to change your nature will leave you tired and unfulfilled. At this point, you'll either fall back into your old habits or return to your roots, weeding out the good from the bad. In doing so, you learn a little bit more about yourself. Armed with this knowledge, you can continue your self improvement, but instead of forcibly trying to change your nature, you learn to respect it and let it blossom in positive ways. Although the previous grind was ultimately misguided, the skills acquired, be them social, professional, etc, will all come in handy, but, this time, they will be employed with direction and purpose. Well, until you end up perceiving some part of yourself as flawed and the cycle restarts once again.

You'll probably undergo this cycle many, many times, but, if you play your cards right, you'll be a little more advanced each time.

RPthrowaway123 · 2019-10-21T14:42:12+00:00

There's a time and a place for everything. I can be a pretty goofy, talkative type of guy sometimes. Maybe even a lot of times. What I've found is that nobody's personality is set in stone and we wear many hats. When it's time to be serious, I'm serious. When it's time to have fun, I have fun.

Don't lose who you are, just know when it's time to wear the different hats.

Numero34 · 2019-10-21T12:50:05+00:00

Just relax and stop taking yourself so seriously. The personalities you described don't have to be mutually exclusive.

BurnoTaurus · 2019-10-21T16:22:32+00:00

You need to understand the penduluum. Or, if you wanna go deeper, Hegel's dialectics. But essentially the penduluum is the same concept.

You were goofy, and it was funny when you were with other goofs, other social outcasts. The problem with this is, in many of these social circles all that occurs is goofiness. You default to just being goofy and not getting anything done when youre around these people. The worst case is when you begin to justify only being a goof because "well my friends are all goofy too and we have a lot of fun together"

Its like when you first quit smoking. going to the bus stop where you used to light up everymorning is gonna be hard because you'll want to slip back into the habit of smoking. But, as you were a slave to the desire to smoke, now you run the risk of being a slave to the desire not to smoke. If you constantly avoid the busstop, you wont develop any ability to be around smokers and still overcome your cravings.

Eventually you will be able to stop being so strict with yourself, because you will have developed the kind of discipline that allows you to briefly have a goofy time with an old friend, and then still be able to cut it short at the appropriate moment and go back to getting shit done.

rockyp32 · 2019-10-21T17:04:05+00:00

I think the secret is in nofap. I lift and practice TRP but jerk off twice a day minimum, I’m happy af and I pull mad bitches

DAOcomment2 · 2019-10-21T19:47:49+00:00

Quite simple really. Make time to practice relaxing, socializing, having fun. Schedule play time. How is having fun counter to Red Pill? Red Pill is men's sexual strategy with women. Women love fun. Women love fun guys. It is very hard to seduce a woman without having fun or giving her a fun time. Cool men you want in your tribe socially and professionally love fun. You love your fun self more. The best version of yourself has all his shit together and has fun. Clearly if you allocate no time to having fun, you stop being fun. So make time to practice being fun, unstifled, and free, just like the gym.

Journeytoheal83 · 2019-10-21T21:03:35+00:00

For me it was fase. To improve i had to take myself real serious for a period of time. I was not that fun to be around during this time. People did not like the new serious me. But it needed to be done. But now after a couple years of resolving childhood trauma and self improvement my playfulness is coming back. This time better than ever. Much more controlled and conscious. But my days as the self deprecating goofy clown are over lol.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2019-10-21T22:31:01+00:00

TRP is just a toolbox of behaviours and tools for when you need them.

You don't have to change everything about who you are. That's the definition of putting women on a pedestal.

TRP goes too far with most things. Being an ultimate Chad, turning RP into ideologies, dudes thinking it's the answer to life.

Be fun, be yourself, enjoy your own skin. Use RP behaviours when the time calls for it.

A guy with healthy self esteem doesn't place a ton of value in getting RedPill 'right', or being a robot.

He's cool with who he is, and just uses certain behaviours to help get what he wants.

BornShook · 2019-10-22T04:52:27+00:00

Yeah man, that's just what growing up is like. I'm in the same boat, but put me with a group of hooligans, and the fuckery resumes. You just gotta make people laugh. Older people don't like my stupid jokes, and I work with a bunch of people in their late 20's-mid 40's. Hang out with people your own age from time to time. You need a social group.

breakdatass · 2019-10-21T13:02:10+00:00

Sounds like you are in high school.