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Girl leaves date crying

Reddit View
October 29, 2019
253 upvotes

Second date with this girl who I know from a meditation group. When we first met I tried to keep things a bit light hearted and fun but she was really uptight. She announced almost immediately that she had to leave at 830pm (1 hour) and basically we needed to hurry up and order dinner.

When we're ordering drinks and dinner and the barmaid tells us how much it will be, she looks at me and says "oh, do you want us to pay separate", to which I reply "unless you're shouting " she looked at me stone cold and said "no, I'm not offering to pay". This pissed me off a bit because A. It was her idea to get food, I would have been happy with a beer and B. She's a doctor and probably earns a fair bit more.

We sat down and started chatting and it's like everything I said she can either outdo with her own experiences or she is this much better now complete person.

At one point she tells me how she has a huge number of friends, I asked her "are you a narcissist?". By that point I had become tired of her grandiose view of her own self and what a complete person she believed she was.

Anyway she started tearing up after the narcissist comment, made a big deal about how nobody had ever said that to her before, and left.

All in all a terrible date.

Was that an awful thing you ask? I didn't actually mean for it to be hurtful, just kind of said what was on my mind.


Post Information
Title Girl leaves date crying
Author goingright32
Upvotes 253
Comments 220
Date 29 October 2019 12:01 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/293188
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/doosa1/girl_leaves_date_crying/
Similar Posts
Comments

[–]smirk_addict 326 points327 points  (44 children) | Copy

It sounds like you just figured it was going down hill, you were tired of her shit so why not entertain yourself. She sounds unstable and extremely insecure. You really shouldnt feel bad about checking someone that was that rude to you. You couldve done a lot worse.

I’m just curious how the hell did the first date go??

[–]immortal_wound 81 points82 points  (15 children) | Copy

I don't think OP hadn't noticed that he paid for dinner. Im not being jerk here but she probably let others pay and then decides to find a way to ditch. Has anybody ever considered that on dating platforms, these tactics are used by most girls?

[–]boywonder200 40 points41 points  (12 children) | Copy

Bro, she is a doctor. She makes at least $200K+ a year if she is in the US. I doubt she needs to go on dating apps to find people to buy her meals.

[–]arinot 71 points72 points  (1 child) | Copy

Having another pay is still an ego boost

[–]thechaosz 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well to do or rich people can be the cheapest fucks you know

[–]TFWnoLTR 39 points40 points  (3 children) | Copy

Not needing to is irrelevant. The hamster doesnt operate within logical bounds. Most women I've met up with that turned out to just be in it for a free meal or drinks were wearing accessories with four figure price tags.

Those women get off on having men spend their time and money on them for next to nothing in return. It's the same as guys who seduce women and have their way with them just to lose interest and ditch them, even lol at their desperate text messages after having conquered them. I'm one of those guys, which is why I don't judge women harshly for doing what they do. It feels good to have power and influence over people, especially when it comes easy and with added benefits.

There are some obvious red flags to watch out for, and OP missed a big one: her demanding a dinner date when you wanted to just get a drink. Women can be really sly about making it seem like you actually wanted what they want too, and abundance mentality is your best defense for this.

Women choosing locations or activities for dates without offering to pay their share up front and especially in opposition without good reason to your plan are 9 times out of 10 just looking for a guy to use as a wallet so they can feel valuable.

[–]alittletoosmooth 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ding ding ding! Winner winner. Dont let them dictate the night. I usually schedule 1st, 2nd, 3rd date purposefully after standard dinner hours. When the waitresses/bartender asks if we want food, I quickly respond, "I already ate, I'm guessing you did too?". Have never had a girl tell me they wanted food. Occasionally if I think she is lying about having already eaten I'll get some light apps because 1, I don't want her to get too drunk if she skipped dinner, and 2, kind of as a little reward for "going with the flow". YMMV.

[–]Savior1666 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. Just because she's a doctor doesn't mean that biology is now meaningless, hell Biology is amplified EVEN MORE in these situations.

The AF/BB is pure biology, she's looking for BB EVEN THOUGH she's a doctor. Worse, she's look at OP as BB. Drop. Her. Immediately. She did you a favor.

[–]Heizenbrg -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

as guys who seduce women and have their way with them just to lose interest and ditch them, even lol at their desperate text messages after having conquered them

Hit the nail on the head with this one, I ditch em after the first or second time, I just lose interest its not our fault.

[–]Zanford 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ego

[–]idontevenlift37 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What do people with a lot of money want? More money.

[–]immortal_wound 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you are talking about the rich, it's Freedom. To get the fuck out'ta of 9-5 jobs more likely.

But if you're talking about the woman, than narcissisticaly speaking, it's greed.

[–]Bing_Bang_Bam 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn't wipe my own ass with her fucking diversity doctorate. I'd rather get a witch doctor in Africa.

[–]superbad4life 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

A doctor that's probably doing clinicals or paying off student debt. It doesn't excuse the behavior or actions, but just because of her job doesn't mean she's getting paid well.

[–]toughenup2016 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

$200k?! MD or PhD...She could be in residency or specialty fellowship where they make much less. New graduates make much less with huge student loans to pay back. Also, depends on specialty, area, etc. Some entry- level make as low as $80k.

[–]thechaosz 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Most girls (not women, those are rare) openly talk about it, to me, even as my plate.

A sucker is born every minute.

[–]RStonePT 13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Was that an awful thing you ask? I didn't actually mean for it to be hurtful, just kind of said what was on my mind.

This doesn't read like a man entertaining himself. It reads like a passive aggressive dig based on a justified sleight.

[–]TFWnoLTR 13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah, its was mean, but completely justified. OP should not feel guilty for saying it. He saved himself additional grief by breaking it off with her.

[–]RStonePT 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who cares how he feels? Right now the very easy lesson for everyone is to value your time, and treat your time as valuable.

Feelings were why he stuck around after she opened her mouth (to be polite) and why he was mean, and why he continues to pretend like he was 'just speaking his mind' when he knew damned well what he was doing.

his entire problem here is how he felt.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

She sounds unstable

This. What would you expect from anybody who goes to "meditation group" anyways? You'll only find self-centred nujobs there.

[–]Savior1666 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a good point.  You'd think that being in a mediation group would mean being chill. . .But then you'd have to ask yourself: "Why is she in this mediation group in the first place?"

Honestly, OP she join a latin dance class instead (if he lifts)

[–]vodkalimesoda1 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This. Meditation is for people with mental issues who can't control their thoughts.

[–]goingright32[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ignorant comment

[–]thechaosz 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Probably full of anti vaxers

[–]jackandjill22 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Make sure you never pay OP.

[–]goingright32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

First date went ok actually.

[–]DevilishRogue 128 points129 points  (1 child) | Copy

she tells me how she has a huge number of friends, I asked her "are you a narcissist?"

You just became my personal hero!

Was that an awful thing you ask?

Yes, but it was somewhat deserved and apparently highly accurate from how you've described things.

[–]aspirinatnight 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s neither awful, nor “somewhat” deserved. OP did great. Eventually, she’ll realise being more down to Earth is a virtue. People like OP are crucial for her to realise that

[–]Radkin009 132 points133 points  (2 children) | Copy

Good job OP. Called the narcissist gender a narcissist. It will be a good laugh for you in hindsight.

[–]smirk_addict 18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha, no shit right?

[–]xoxe1337 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I guess it was rhetorical question, but he forgot to mention it

[–]snehehsb 40 points41 points  (22 children) | Copy

Never do dinner ona date with someone you are getting to know. Unless she offers it and is going to pay for it all. I've had that happen and I was ok with that. But I've been burned my women forgetting their wallet, or oops I don't get paid yet. They were straight good digging whores.

[–]whiffofass 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy

Yeah, the less you invest the easier it is to move on. Lots of women only go on dates for free food.

[–]iteal 19 points20 points  (3 children) | Copy

Lots of women only go on dates for free food.

This is actually insane. I know a few girls who do that. I mean getting drinks for free at a bar from some BB, I get that. But completly digging for whole meals. That's some next level nasty shit.

[–]Ill_mumble_that[🍰] 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Girls with no self respect. The kind you can look in the eyes while putting your dick in her mouth after busting a nut in her asshole.

[–]sacecrun 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

LOL! That's women's dating strategy.

[–]thechaosz 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Woman are Nasty creatures, they don't care

[–]KinkysMT 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Last girl I met on Tinder wanted to go for dinner, but then at the moment of paying I always use "we" about paying the bill, made her pay half. Later at her place she confessed she was a bit pissed off about it, and that she sometimes go on dinner dates for free meals. Anyways after many "I don't have sex on a first date" she eventually wanted my dick so bad, ending up in giving me her phone to take pictures of her while being fucked lol (that was a major turn on for me..)

[–]thechaosz 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nice!

[–]On_The_Tweek_Again 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Straight up. I usually just take them for a walk on the beach where I live and bring drinks if we want that. Going to dinner is a bad idea for a first date.

A lot of women will be open about saying “I just want free food”. It’s also weird to eat with somebody you don’t know very well as eating tends to diminish conversation. There are a lot better ideas than going to dinner for a first date. I’d say getting coffee, taking a walk or something like that would be a lot more ideal.

[–]thechaosz -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Coffee dates are for fags.

My buddy lives San Diego makes almost 500k a year (he's late 30s, run call centre operations world wide for a major pharm company) , has a huge house in the hills and works out a lot.

He also grew up with me in the shit town of Spokane, grew up poor, with no dad and a helicopter mom. He's totally clueless with woman.

He said he was meeting broads at noon for coffee. Could never get laid. I about fell out of my chair.

Sex is for the night. There is no tension build up having fucking coffee with some floozy at 2 pm.

Meetup for drinks, bar hop, maybe see a comedian or show along the way.

It all leads to my/her place by the end.

[–]On_The_Tweek_Again 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You’re a serious fucking idiot lol

If you can’t get laid because you need alcohol, you have a lot more issues. Coffee dates can definitely get you laid if you have game, bud.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never do dinner ona date with someone you are getting to know.

Scrolled way too far to find this.

[–]Foolishoe 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Call them on it and they can flip and be better to you knowing you don't put up with that shit. Just because they pull shit tests like this doesn't mean they don't fuck you for free.

[–]PhaedrusHunt 3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

I went on a date with a woman that played the whole "I forgot my credit card" card. I paid for our drinks told her I had somewhere else to go and then went and hung out with another girl IN THE SAME BAR.

Turns out this woman is a very successful business owner. Forgot your credit card my ass

[–]sacecrun 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

You can't be a successful business owner if you pay for drinks!

[–]PhaedrusHunt 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Bwahhhh! LMFAO. A fucking BAR owner at that!

[–]sacecrun 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dayum! Business game too strong... Hahah!

[–]PhaedrusHunt 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Catfish game also strong.

Thought she hot. But just a washed up thot.

[–]snehehsb 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's savage but I love it. Would of love to have seen her face.

[–]thechaosz 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's got 12 just in her clutch.

[–]MrAnderzon 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This needs to be the top comment.

[–]RedSkeller 66 points67 points  (21 children) | Copy

Honestly she probably loved it and don't be surprised if you get a call back. Most of these women have never heard such shit before in their lives and it will drive her crazy knowing you called her that. Don't change a thing about your behavior, she was a pain in the ass and you asked a fair question, nothing wrong with being honest or a bit bold. Better to do that then pretend like you're okay with being her doormat, be true to yourself and always be a man.

As for women crying, I've had them cry on dates but it's always crocodile tears, so never take it too seriously. I had a woman last month start blubbering about how we were meant to be and I told her we were just friends, I didn't care about her and was being honest. So of course she's crying with tears running down her face so I gave her a playful slap and she was right back to being cute and cuddly. Women's natural reaction to anything negative is crying. Hit a raccoon, pull over and cry.

I commend you for having balls and letting this woman know about her shitty behavior, even though it will have no impact on her life, it shows you the nature of things. Cheers.

[–]thebadguy89 40 points41 points  (4 children) | Copy

This. Once I had a date who told me, I was the worst date ever because I didn't pay for her drink. I said "well you didn't seem that interested so why would I pay."

then she wouldn't stop hitting me up the next week lmao

[–]Ill_mumble_that[🍰] 26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everything is a shit test.

They don't even realize they are programmed to do it

[–]BuzzLightGear321 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

"You are the worst date ever, hence why I won't pay for you" Just fuck with her, she doesn't know you don't pay for drinks.

[–]thebadguy89 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah there are way better responses than the one I gave, that's a good one

[–]papunigga031 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Anything but boredom

[–]PhaedrusHunt 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thank you everybody in here saying that the Opie lost frame is full of it. losing frame and avoiding conflict two different things

I remember once a guy told a story about how someone threw a drink in his face (another MAN) and he just kept his cool and everybody was saying good job for keeping frame buddy. Bullshit. That's just being a pussy.

Same thing. Some people here saying never argue with a woman. I disagree. Do it just do it from your hill not up on hers.

Calling a woman on her pathology unapologetically is not losing frame. If she started crying and then you started to apologize all over yourself and take it back-- THAT is losing frame

[–]thechaosz 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good Post

[–]Protocol_Apollo 34 points35 points  (4 children) | Copy

You fell into her frame when she got food, and you should have held frame when it came to paying.

You don’t have to pay.

I would have just said “yeh sorry I only pay for close friends and family”.

Then either she’ll accept or she would try to play the chivalry card and say something passive aggressive eg “well I believe men should be chivalrous”.

Then I would have just said, “yeh I’m a dick” or “sorry to disappoint” in a non chalant way.

[–]Impulsive666 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

"I believe in equality"

[–]Protocol_Apollo 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeh that’s a good response as well.

[–]goingright32[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I did hold frame. I told her we're paying separately, unless she's paying.

[–]omega05 [score hidden]  (0 children) | Copy

So she ended up paying her part?

[–]NeverLace 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not gonna lie, that's a funny story. Why would she take that serious? It's not like asking if someone is a narcissist is an insult? If someone asked me that I would just agree and amplify. She failed your shittest?

Anyways, dinner is not a good first date but others have already told you that.

[–]ThrowsSharksAtBirds 43 points44 points  (13 children) | Copy

You wanted to keep it fun and lighthearted yet went for dinner as a date. don't do dinner on first date or second. Could hardly tell from your post. Dinner is uptight awkward confrontation with little room for proper game.

Sounds to me you didn't game her at all but went through the boyfriend checklist together, as you're confirming this somewhat in your post.

Finally you went nuclear on her with the narcissist question.

So did you end up paying for the dinner yourself?

[–]vicious_armbar 13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

A man should never buy dinner for a woman he's sexually attracted to until after she's banged him. Period. The only exception is if she's willing to come back to your place for you to "make her dinner". That way you can offer her wine and try to bang her afterwards.

[–]TFWnoLTR 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. Dinner can work as a first date, but always split the bill. If shes adamant that you should pay for everything, she's not worth any further investment.

[–]Manny1400 6 points7 points  (10 children) | Copy

true --never do dinner on a first date. Do coffee or grab ice-cream.

And talk to her quite a bit beforehand on social media, phone, etc. to make sure she is worth the bother

[–]Darthmorelock 7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy

And talk to her quite a bit beforehand on social media, phone, etc. to make sure she is worth the bother

This is where we differ. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but the phone is an appointment - setting device. I'm not interested nor do I have time/energy to keep up text conversation with anyone. There is much more important shit on my mind then texting someone.

It's different with a LTR, or someone I actually give a shit about, but I don't text girls except to set up dates.

[–]Manny1400 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

understood

I don't mean you should have these big, long text exchanges. Just get to know her a bit through social media, what she is into, etc.

If you see she has "likes" for Naomi Wolf and Amy Schumer, you know that taking her out is going to be bad.

[–]Ill_mumble_that[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In that case skip the date and just bang her. Be sure to shower after and dont give her your full name or address.

[–]iteal 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

the phone is an appointment - setting device. I'm not interested nor do I have time/energy to keep up text conversation with anyone.

A lot of people need to realise this. If it comes to girls, don't fall into the trap of having hour long conversations with them over text.

[–]Ill_mumble_that[🍰] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

If shes not sending nudes, nothing she has to say is worth that kinda time. Even nudes aren't worth the time unless shes doing something specific.

[–]iteal 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Tbh I never "liked" nudes. I understand the concept of it, being private and just for you. But I can look at much better pictures for much less effort. It's just not worth it.

[–]Ill_mumble_that[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh yeah. I mean more like. "Come over, I'm wearing this" and a pic is included. I'll give that a reply or just show up and bang.

Generally though there isnt much to say in response to nudes anyways.

The usual female expectation when sending nudes is like reading the comment threads on r\gonewild. Bunch of beta boys going "your so hot, I'd fuck you" just giving her validation.

I don't give validation. I dont think I've ever actually complimented a nude pic or video a woman has sent me.

I ask for more kinkier pics or schedule a time to come over and do some kinda out of the ordinary kink. I'll give her some prep tasks like to anal douche and shave her vag or put on a dog collar and leash and wait for me by the door. You get the idea.

Texting and telling her to send nastier and nastier pics can be time consuming. But it works out for me since when I get together with her she is already warmed up and ready for whatever nasty sex I am in the mood for.

[–]TFWnoLTR 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Another solid first date activity is mini golf. Lots of opportunities to initiate physical contact, its public and low risk and pressure for her, and it's usually cheap. Works on women of pretty much any age in my experience.

[–]BuzzLightGear321 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I've had first dates develop into dinner, but only after a couple hours getting to know her first. Oddly enough, she paid for me despite it being my idea.

[–]TFWnoLTR 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Because she was really into you. I've had that happen a few times too, and it's awesome.

[–]KonradCurze 5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

"unless you're shouting"? what does that mean? That doesn't make sense.

[–]goingright32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

paying

[–]asorals 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

It means unless she's going to pay.

"Shouting" someone food/drinks/anything worth money is slang for paying for them.

[–]KonradCurze 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Where is that slang? Like, where do they use that? I've never once heard that before...and now I'm sure I'll hear it everywhere...

[–]asorals 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I'm Aussie, we use it a fair bit. Not sure where else it's used.

[–]KonradCurze 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Ah...that's probably why. As far as I know, it's not used that way in the U.S.

[–]asorals 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah we're an odd bunch. We create slangs for almost everything.

[–]FinancialThanks1 20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

Obviously it’s something that could potentially upset someone. Personally would have just ended the date ASAP and not seen her again

[–]Gandalfthegrey2323 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why the narcissist comment lol. Any chick would be mad about that. People that need to talk about themselves and out do everyone are the most self conscious. She obviously has some issues and when you said that she couldn’t contain them.

Not your fault she is like that but I would have just ended the date as quickly as possible.

[–]Darthmorelock 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Nah. Sometimes, its very worthwhile to speak your mind. Pleasantries are for pussies and politicians. There's a time and place for everything. I strive to be honest in life, and part of being honest is not putting up with bullshit and putting on a fake smile.

[–]Gandalfthegrey2323 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Saying whatever comes to your mind isn’t always the smart thing or logical thing to do. It’s not about being “tough” or not a “pussy”. There is a time and place for everything.

Speaking your mind is important when it adds some value to your life or serves you well. Generally involving something or someone you care about. The pussy part comes when there is risk involved. Risk your opinion will be shut down or disapproved. When you cave in and decide to be safe and not speak your mind that is being a pussy.

This is just saying some dumb comment. Trying to prove you don’t care about her opinion is caring about her opinion.

I personally wouldn’t give a fuck about this chick. Saying that comment would just be starting some conflict I have zero interest in getting involved in. Why? It adds zero value to my life. There is no risk involved. She is something I want nothing to do with. That’s why I don’t say it. Not because I’m trying to be polite.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not seeing a problem with how this went down. She sounds like a shit person, and you probably weren't too far off with your narcissist comment. Although, not sure why you took her to dinner. First few times out, I'll offer to buy the first round of drinks. If we aren't fucking, no money is spent after the second date. When we're fucking, then we take turns buying.

[–]Don_Draper27 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

we needed to hurry up and order dinner.

Never do dinner dates and never ever for a first date. And if a girl is rushing to get somewhere more important after you it's a hard next in my book.

It was her idea to get food,

You should always be in charge of date activities. You're being quite beta by following her lead and then seriously being upset that she won't pay?? lol. You don't have dinner game, so again, don't do dinners.

She's a doctor and probably earns a fair bit more.

Don't expect other people to have their shit together, regardless of their occupation. My older sister makes more than me yet last week I found out that she over-drafted her card a few times and racked up fees.

By that point I had become tired of her grandiose view of her own self and what a complete person she believed she was.

The mature thing to do when you aren't having a good time with someone is to just announce that you're done with the date and that it was nice to meet her and walk away - hard next. Don't attack people because you don't like them.

Was that an awful thing you ask? I didn't actually mean for it to be hurtful, just kind of said what was on my mind.

No. Content hardly matters. It depends on how you said it which I'm guessing came off as dick-ish due to how annoyed you were at her. Even then, crying and walking away from a date is a major red flag and you will block her number if you're aren't an idiot.

Do yourself a favor and learn from all these mistakes. First dates are always a coffee or beer for 15 minutes. Always plan dates in a way where you can easily walk away if your gut senses something is off.

[–]Manny1400 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Dude, things were bad before you even said that. Any girl who is looking at her watch and announces she has a cold-stop at 8:30pm isn't into you, and wants out of there.

While I still would have picked up the tab for dinner, I don't blame you for pushing back.

But as for the comment: yeah, you were being a dick, but she sounds like she had it coming

[–]187oddfuture 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why the fuck would you pay for this bitch’s meal? Especially after her whole attitude to the date and op himself? Why would you reward disrespect?

[–]Manny1400 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

if I asked her on a date, it is on me, regardless of what goes down.

Now if the girl asks me out, she can pay

[–]187oddfuture 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

that's whack. Maybe on the first date, but that's it .

[–]dutchgguy 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn' t pay for her food either. Good job.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't obsess over it it. She'll either call you again, or she won't.

[–]Foolishoe 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Doesn't look like he's answered anyone.

[–]TigerTamingSword 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

She's a doctor

Word to the wise: good portion of females doctors are cray-cray, probably due to high workload and constant stress. Nurses, less so, but not by much.

[–]mr4kino[🍰] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Well she can be a millionaire. She will still expect you to pay.

She is a woman, don't think logically with your man's brain. As mentioned by others you should have maintained the frame and let her know she needs to pay her part.

[–]187oddfuture 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She ain’t a millionaire, but you bet she’s got millions in student loans

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (13 children) | Copy

Leykis 101 Rules ALL men should live by:

  1. NEVER, EVER date a single mother.

  2. Never do what you don't want to do. You make the money, you decide where you are going and what you are doing.

  3. Don't ask a women what she wants to do.

  4. Never tell a women how much money you make.

  5. Don't EVER date co-workers!

  6. Never answer the phone on the weekend.

  7. Never spend more than 40 bucks on a date.

  8. NEVER approach a woman in a club who has her girlfriends with her.

  9. If you are not getting laid by the 3rd date, dump her and move on.

  10. No spooning, no cuddling, no staying over. Get in, get out!

  11. Never be in a committed relationship UNTIL you are 25 or really ready to settle down.

[–]moonpresence- 22 points23 points  (5 children) | Copy

some of these rules are absolutely retarded

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Yeah, a lot of women and pussies think so. By the way, the minute that bitch said she was in a hurry, I’d have politely excused myself to go to the restroom and would have ghosted her

[–]187oddfuture 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same. I would’ve tacked on “oh you’re in a hurry? Yeah I’m in a hurry to get this date over with.” and just walked out. Sounds like the most entitled chick ever.

[–]moonpresence- 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

"Yeah, a lot of women and pussies think so" lol who are you trying to impress on here? anyway I even agree with most of these rules but what's with this mindset of blindly accepting everything written by someone you've never met because it's on trp and has "rules for men to live by" in the title like some autists and incels who come here might not understand a lot of this is contextual and ignore a good LTR on the weekend or not approach a woman giving you signals at the club because she's with friends because fucking "leykis" told them not to

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

“Autists and incels” is a defense mechanism against admitting your failure in life and that you’re wrong. And I’ve met Professor Leykis several times. Good man. For the popcorn eaters, check out Leykis 101 rules on YouTube.

[–]Darthmorelock -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

There are plenty of dates that are worthwhile that cost much more than $40. I'd happily pay for a couple concert tickets and take someone to that as a first date. I do this probably once a year at least. The difference? I already bought the tickets, I wanted to go anyway. I ALWAYS buy 2 tickets. I'll either find a date, bring a friend, or sell the extra ticket last minute. I think it's fine to spend more than 40 on a date doing something you would want to do anyway. Spending more than $40 taking a girl to dinner is a big beta bux move.
And

NEVER approach a woman in a club who has her girlfriends with her

Should be:

NEVER approach a woman in a club who has her girlfriends with her alone

[–]Zero-Milk 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

This list was clearly written by some early-20's edgelord roleplaying as some imaginary ultimate badass. Pure cringe.

[–]illusiveab 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Facts. Never answer the phone on the weekends? This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Also no staying over? Don't be fuckin dumb.

[–]smirk_addict 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You described that shit perfectly.

[–]Manny1400 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

most of this is good, but #8 might not be

I met my future wife at a club, and she was there with her friend. It was her friend who told her I was cute, and encouraged her to go get my number. So she was putting in a good word for me.

So it isn't a hard-fast rule.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I met my ex-wife in a club too.

[–]VaN__Darkholme 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I your ex-wife in a club too.

[–]novalentineforyou 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I met your future wife in a club too

[–]Rage8150 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pretty rude but not unwarranted. Given the way things were going it sounds like you had nothing to gain or lose either way.

[–]Herdsengineers 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, you nuked her. Some chicks calm down and after a few more weeks and dates with other guys that have no backbone end up calling you back again. Be prepared for the hamster though, she'll bring it up if she calls back.

Honestly, though, a tiger doesn't change it's strips. There's a difference between qualifying herself because she wants to be accepted and bragging/showing off to demonstrate her superiority to others including you. I'd consider this an experience in learning it's better to throw some fish back, and she is definitely in this category. More trouble than she'll ever be worth. If she reaches out again, don't engage. Let this one go and find better women that won't be so aggravating.

[–]nonorganic-psychosis 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She will come back. At least hate is better than no emotion.

[–]Uniqueusername360 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It wasn’t awful and it was a reality check for her too.

[–]jaznex 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

figuring out a narcisist is a good skill imo.

[–]bilabrin 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think she may have been validation seeking. That's generally a good thing in that it means she wants you to like her. Her tearing up and leaving indicates that she was upset that she failed to achieve your approval.

As for the money thing she may have been in the mindset that if you pay then it counts as a romantic date but that's speculation at best. In any case my go to line in these situations is "I'll get this one, you get the next one." This sets up both the idea of her paying her fair share and also a second date.

[–]vicious_armbar 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I asked her "are you a narcissist?

Then

She started tearing up after the narcissist comment, made a big deal about how nobody had ever said that to her before, and left.

She started freaking out because you hit the nail exactly on the head. Her behavior sounds extremely narcissistic. She's used to people kissing her ass because she's a doctor. But frankly who cares?! You're looking for an attractive, kind, submissive woman to suck your dick. Not someone to fix a broken bone. Move on to the next one.

Don't do dinner dates. Try to go to a bar that doesn't serve food. If you go to a place that offers food only order a beer. Women feel self conscious about eating more than a man. She won't order dinner if you only order a drink.

[–]dxbfmby 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah she's a narcissist.

I've been pretty lucky in that women I go on formal dates with are usually feminists in the good way; in other words pretty strong independent 'alpha' women who not only offer but sometimes insist on paying at least half the first date. When they do that I'll counter it and happily pick up the bill (unless she aggressively fights to split it) and agree she can cover date 2.

But any woman that expects me to cover it is automatically getting hit with her share of it. I'd sooner leave my cash on the table, walk out and hard next than bicker about it.

Respect goes a long way. Show me you have value by offering to split, or I'll assume you have no value and you can pay your own way.

[–]TheBunk_TB 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ill pay for our meal if you pay for the condoms.

[–]ToraChan23 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What was awful is that you paid the bill after:

she looked at me stone cold and said "no, I'm not offering to pay"

Don't be a bitch for the rest of your life.

[–]red_matrix 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She has no respect for OP. I can’t believe she said that.

[–]1kschmeckles 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You upset her because you were spot on.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's a cunt. Who cares about the details.

Move on, thank the Gods you didn't stick your dick into crazy.

[–]hrm0894 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Looks like she got dating advice from femaledatingstrategy (the subreddit). lmfao

[–]Domebeers 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP...why are you taking women you aren't sleeping with to dinner dates?

[–]Hedser91 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Are you a narcissist?" should be on a t-shirt now, classic

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Was that an awful thing you ask?

Yes, but she sounds entitled, fucked up and very much like a narcissist.

made a big deal about how nobody had ever said that to her before

She was angry because it’s true.

and left

Best thing to happen to you all evening.

[–]t3kra 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is Well played. You seemingly called her bluff, and how in reality she knows that its a faux, and her life is as well. She has a lot of friends, but no one is actually a friend, they're all just there because of her profession, salary or something. She basically gets appreciated a lot, but no one really loves her. The part about going mad about not splitting, makes me feel she had a childhood where the parent(s) was financially, heavily there, but emotionally, not at all. She's also into meditation class. Idk what you're there for, but for me it seems she's there to get rid of these ideas, insecurity, and back-ideas that trail her.

[–]LordTutanKhamon 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Apparently splitting wasn’t good enough for her. At least she got to leave with a free meal.

[–]mayoayox 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Mmm, yup, that's a pretty shitty thing to say to a woman lol. But Idk why youd think it's a bad thing-- if your conscience isnt eating away at you for it, then you're fine

[–]silent_dominant 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You dated a psycho and she acted like a psycho. Good job on calling her out on her bullshit in stead of conforming to it like an uncle beta

[–]MR_SKINNYPENIS69 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like she was looking for a free meal and you just gave it to her bro

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

send her a bill for the dinner and your time then delete block ghost

[–]boy_named_su 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It was her idea to get food

"I'm not offering to pay"

you're a fucking moron. never go on a dinner date again

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Me-yow

[–]hidden_boi_premium 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The opposite of love isn’t hate , it’s indifference

Just relax and hit her up later

[–]oooKenshiooo 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's not a date unless she cries. :D

[–]SalesAficionado 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bitch sounds crazy. I would next her.

[–]RStonePT 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

that she had to leave at 830pm (1 hour) and basically we needed to hurry up and order dinner.

Save her the trouble, tell her she can be early to her next appointment.

Honestly, everything that happened afterwards was you not respecting yourself enough right from the getgo

[–]UnbreakableFrame 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I get so mad every time I read about a woman still expecting to be paid for in 2019. I left the anger phase 2 years ago now, but that's like the one thing that still enrages me. Either you want equal treatment or you don't. Fuck.

[–]thetotalpackage7 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good for you...don't feel guilty. She sounds like a total twat.

[–]FuccboiChad 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I laughed when I read this.

[–]Zero-Milk 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

People who try to one-up are classic narcissists. They require constant validation, and one-upping you is but one of an infinite number of ways they'll seek it. Run from these types of people, because they'll make you more miserable than you could ever imagine.

[–]mrrooftops 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She's upset because someone found out. She knows.

[–]mustache_ride_ 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

By that point I had become tired of her grandiose view of her own self and what a complete person she believed she was.

There's two types of people in this world: the "hang-arounds" and the over-achievers. The over-achievers have poor social skills. Their parents didn't spend time or effort on those (if they had any knowledge of how to be social to begin with).

She wasn't trying to put you down, she was trying to sell herself the only way she knows how: by counting her achievements.

You dudged a bullet, those are self-centered animals.

[–]red_matrix 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You dodged a bullet. This girl sounds like pure cancer.

[–]SeasonedRP 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't worry about it. It sounds like a date from hell.

[–]2319Skew 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why do you care?

[–]majani 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The constant one-upping means there's a strong chance she's lying about a number of those things, including being a doctor. The time constraint she put on the date and the crying seem forced. This woman is very likely running some type of game on you and it's working, since she's dominating your thoughts now. I would ignore and tread carefully if she hits you back up.

[–]Foolishoe 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like a great thing to ask. Where are you at? "unless you're shouting" is unfamiliar to me here in the USA.

Gave you an hour eh? Bummer but hey, time tables or whatever. I'd keep fishing with her, seems like at the least you will learn a bunch by spending time around her and dealing with her.

Maybe you help her get a new look at herself and really help her be a better person since it's obvious she has stalled out, knowing more than you and being better than you in a million ways... Who talks like that? Sounds like she was really trying to impress you or like you said, is overly focused on herself all the time.

Is she hot? Seems like she needs to learn to talk about things a different way. There are only a few ways to do it, some good books on communication. What was it, 4 types? Agree / Disagree / Relate / Ask questions to learn more I think..

If she can only relate and amplify she's got social issues. Doesn't mean she doesn't fuck though, as long as she behaves I'd say it's a green light.

The one hour window really bugs me, why even accept a date with drinks under that sort of time table? Sounds goofy. Sounds really busy, does she have a dog?

[–]EvelynnSpoiler 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like she's been skimping out on her meditation

[–]Nitzy83 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nope. This was my ex gf. Women can literally make themselves cry since they know we don't handle that well without even really caring. You're good man. You dodged a bullet.

[–]PhaedrusHunt 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The only thing that would have been better is if as she was walking away crying you yelled out, "Meditate on THAT."

Or as Tupac once said:

"when she calls you ask that little tramp what's up And if she hesitates nigga hang up word up And let the bitch meditate to the dial tone And call me when you're ready to bone"

[–]Zanford 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She announced almost immediately that she had to leave at 830pm (1 hour)

Did she have another date later that night? A girl was telling me about a slutty friend of hers who does this on the reg, lines up multiple guys a few hours apart

to which I reply "unless you're shouting

Oh god where did you hear this shitty neologism

, I asked her "are you a narcissist?".

LOL that's not even a shit test, that's just a fight, this sounds like the worst date ever

[–]BeeBopJoe 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Even though the date was going horrible, it was kinda rude to call her a narcissist. You should have found a good excuse to end the date and then just ghost her afterwards. Regardless what is done is done, you no longer have to deal with a person you don't find appealing.

[–]rmcassio 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds alright to me.

[–]zboo1h 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You did the right thing, except I hope you didn't pay. If you did, go find your balls and put them back between your legs.

These types of women need to be ostracized and ridiculed on a daily, constant basis.

[–]McDrMuffinMan 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You could've done it better but that wasn't a long term prospect

[–]schielegirl 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

this will prob get down voted, but oh well.

As a red pill woman on a first date, if a man doesn't start ordering food, then I leave in an hour. I don't ask to order, I just say I gotta go. I need to leave to go eat dinner at home obviously. Not just gunna sit there starving.

I also never split the bill. If you want a smart sexy, well groomed, submissive, younger female, you shall pay the bill, sir, and not complain. She probably already spent 3x that bill looking the way she does already.

Also as a red pill man, i would not date a woman that makes more than you, or is older than you. Unless you are a cardiothoracic surgeon and you're dating a GP or something. There has to be a dynamic, or else this kind of shit happens.

Whether you justify being a dick by "saying what was on your mind", bottom line is you didn't make the sale. Pick a different strategy with a different type of female.

[–]flyinghorse1 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You touched a nerve

[–]sacecrun 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well...someone has to address the elephant in the room.

[–]Savior1666 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

> When we first met I tried to keep things a bit light hearted and fun but she was really uptight. She announced almost immediately that she had to leave at 830pm (1 hour) and basically we needed to hurry up and order dinner.

Honestly, This is a BAD sign, and I would have just ended the date there. Usually that's going to mean some Crazy AF LMR and really. . .I just don't have time for that, ESPECIALLY if the bitch is gonna be uptight. . .I mean y'all met in a MEDITATION group? w(hy)tf is she NOT chill?

When a chick puts a "time limit" on a date. Then in my mind my smv isn't high enough for her to make enough time for me without planning "other shit" (probably banging chad)over me. You're not her first option. She's a doctor but she's STILL playing the AF/BB game.

Really, you're not her chad. If you were her chad would she put a time limit on your date? Would she be uptight? Women are NOT "uptight" with their chads. When I was younger I would try to get the bang anyway in these kinds of situations. . .it RARELY worked and the times it DID work, IT WASN'T WORTH IT. I remember spending like an hour an a half pushing through LMR with a chick and when I FINALLY banged her. I was so damn pissed, that I never called her back after she left. I was thinking "Really? is THAT it!?!?" I was really mad. But this was before I began lifting.

Nowadays I'm concentrating on my SMV/money/other things I need to take care of when I'm not out approaching. If I met a chick for a date and she pulled the "I have an hour" for the date, I'd just leave her there and get back work. If she left crying. . .SO WHAT?! When a bitch "leaves crying" take that as a BULLET DODGED! When girls cry, she's trying to manipulate you, ignore it and leave. You don't have time for that shit. Get back to work, go meet women who don't act like retards, I'd suggest you go to another meditation group or another activity group entirely with some younger women. Or make your OWN activity group.

[–]Timdeuces 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Gave her the deepest cut she has ever received

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hate to say this but some of you on here (who oppose this) are pussies and betas. You guys are not red pill if you oppose this, you’re blue. Meow pussies.

[–]abomba24 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wait this was the second date? Forgot that by the end. Man idk how you stayed in there

[–]MotiMorphosys 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ah! The ol' nosedive date. I've had a few of those.

you can overanalyze, there was probably external factors you were unaware of... But bottom line is girls can be crazy sometimes.

[–]proplfax 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She announced almost immediately that she had to leave at 830pm (1 hour) and basically we needed to hurry up and order dinner.

i'd of just started fucking with her until she changed her attitude or walked out. i'm super over bitchy behavior like this these days. not worth it at all.

the rest is obvious after this bs.

[–]AshyLarry27 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Probably depends if you asked her in a teasing manner or were stone cold serious about it. Otherwise can't even begin to figure how you gave her a second date.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you should of been like "bitch you crazy" and dipped.

[–]hlorofob 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You more or less inadvertantly hit the nail on the head. Good riddance

[–]coldenjhaulfield 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

honestly man i would put up with it for the gash

[–]kclanton80 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If that makes her cry, then she is mentally unbalanced. Be glad you found out sooner than later.

Her announcing she only had 1 hour was also an announcement that she was only there for the free meal. You should have ended the date immediately.

Her tears were possibly a way to end things and ensure no further contact beyond her free meal.

STOP dating women that are in close contact with you. Now she is going to tell people in the group most likely that your an asshole. Also why the hell do you need to go to a group to meditate? I would think that would be a Haven for some crazy ass chicks anyway.

[–]goingright32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Possibly she was there for the free meal.. and I can't help what she tells the group, all I can help is if I allow that to bother me or not.

Let me know if you find some non-crazy ass chicks. I'm not having much luck so far.

[–]ice_cold_sandwich 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the laugh!

[–]imdyingofthirst 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

it's easy to spot that you're not in peace with yourself, there is a reason you get pissed off(not making enough money, not "many" "friends", she wasn't interested that much from the start, she expected you to pay)

("she looked at me stone cold and said "no, I'm not offering to pay")

  • yours "This pissed me off a bit because"
  • and someone confident that he doesn't have to pay and not getting angry "oh, am i not pretty enough to pay for me?"

it's like a dog who barks, and a dog that is silent and confident/comfortable

you were the barking one

she behaved like a child, as women do. focus on yourself my dude. If you don't feel it - leave, didnt want to have a dinner grab yourself a beer.

[–]smirk_addict 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I like that you’re giving positive feedback but i gotta disagree with your discernment he isn’t at peace with himself. I think her behavior would’ve annoyed most people unless their own a mood stabilizer. I read his post as his comment coming after the last straw of a bad date. It sounds like you read it as him having a chip on his shoulder and looking for a reason to snap on the woman. I just don’t feel that was the case.

[–]imdyingofthirst 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

mhm, might be true. I might be projecting something.

"B. She's a doctor and probably earns a fair bit more."

There is a reason that's on his mind and there is a "why" he wrote it(not consciously obv), don't you think?

[–]smirk_addict 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah. I think it’s more of the shock that this woman could take such a hardline on not paying considering her profession. And he did mention it was her idea to get food. She sounds entitled and completely audacious about it. I think your suggestion of how he should have handled it would’ve worked with a less shrewish person. Women like the one he was with don’t respond well to wit and banter. Because they just want drama to validate their insecurities. So distort everything communicated to them. She was looking for a reason not to see him again while lying to herself that “she tried” and he’s just a bad guy. The more i think about it I think that’s the case.

[–]johncillo 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP, read this. This is a great synopsis about your behavior. It was not rude what you said but you still have some things to work on.

[–]ColdBeing -2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

I mean it's rude af and if you ever ask that question the other person is always gonna deny it.

I guess that's one way to end a bad date early lol

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I mean it's rude af

Only if you say it to an adult. Women aren't adults.

[–]Foolishoe 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think she's better off hearing it, a few years too late but anytime is better than never.

[–]AlmostWardCunningham -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You sound like a loser “nice guy” who is passive-aggressive because she’s doing better at life than you, and you can’t handle it. And if that’s the case, then don’t date above your level anymore.

[–]PrettyHateSmooshing -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Unstable and narcissistic girl. Get away from that.

If she suggested food, and, she's not laughing with you, then the answer would have been "I'm taking care of myself. Two checks please." This will do one of two things -- piss her off, or, entirely win her respect for you. Probably the former. But hey, you have nothing to lose with this girl.



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