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Fiance gave me her old laptop to use for work - a look into her past has me worried

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November 4, 2019
13 upvotes

I'm 31, 6'6, 260 lbs - own a successful business and a nice home. N-count is in the 40s. My family is "the family" in our county of about 700k people. I lift 3-4 days per week, but I'm still soft around the edges. max bench: 285 max OHP: 175

I met my fiance 2.5 years ago. Even though I hadn't found the red pill yet, I was already living a fairly red pilled lifestyle. I was constantly working on my mission, dating multiple girls and dropping them on a dime if they hindered my life in any way, and I've practiced stoicism since I first heard about it in college.

Dated my fiance (she's 27) exclusively for a year, then she moved in, and roughly six months after that I proposed (about two months ago).

I vetted her as best I could and always paid attention to her actions. Not once in 2.5 years have we had any major issues. She's submissive (both in and out of the bedroom), she treats me like a king, she comes from a good family, we share the same faith, and she's not even remotely lazy at home or at her job.

The one thing she does do all the time is glance at other guys. The first glance never bothers me, it's the second or third glance that feels disrespectful. Perhaps this is normal and I'm just being insecure. But I digress.

The other day my laptop crashed and I needed to get some work finished at home. So my fiance said I could use her old laptop.

Long story short, it was a macbook and it had been synced with her phone. All her text messages were there for my viewing pleasure.

I firmly believe trust but verify and knowing that marriage is the riskiest investment I'll make in my life, I wanted to verify that the girl I'm about to marry didn't have any major red flags.

Here's what I found:

  • Confirmed n-count of 11 (she specifically mentioned this number to her best friend)
    • I didn't know her n-count prior to this, not sure how to feel about it being 11
    • 4 of them were in the two months prior to meeting me
  • She was sleeping with at least two dudes at the same time before we met
    • Justified it to her friends because she wasn't exclusive with either of them
  • She texted a few of her friends excitedly telling them she slept with a professional soccer player
    • Turns out he lied to her, he was just a tall, good looking dude who played in college
  • Hooked up with a guy friend while on a group trip abroad
  • She randomly messaged one of her friends: "I'm irritable and just need sex from a guy"
    • They go on to discuss who she should try to hang out with
  • She hooked up with a juice head
  • Her ex of 1.5 years was also a juice head
    • Kind of worried he alpha widowed her
  • She casually dated a police detective 10 years older than her for a few months
    • She also was texting a cop prior to me. I do notice she looks at guys in uniform a lot. Is this just something girls do because they like the authority shit? Or am I fucked because I'm not a cop and thats what her subconscious craves?

Other than that, all the messages about me were good. She's been raving about me to her friends and family since the day we met. Not a single negative things had been said about me. She told everyone how happy she is with me and that she can't wait to marry me.

Is marriage with this woman doomed from the start or am I overanalyzing what I found?

Although I believe in AWALT/hypergamy, I also believe it's a spectrum. Perhaps the things I found point to her being more AWALT and hypergamous?


Post Information
Title Fiance gave me her old laptop to use for work - a look into her past has me worried
Author trp1223
Upvotes 13
Comments 153
Date 04 November 2019 04:57 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/293972
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/drkf6k/fiance_gave_me_her_old_laptop_to_use_for_work_a/
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Comments

[–]InChargeManRed Beret 56 points57 points  (28 children) | Copy

Regardless of you actually looking (which I don't specifically fault you for, an occasional checkup isn't a bad idea, others will disagree), I don't see why you came here after you found what you found. Looks pretty much fine to me... She didn't cheat on anyone, didn't cheat on you, doesn't have aids or a baby, nothing about crazy debt. What are you worried about, that she is able to recognize men who are more physically attractive than you?

[–]SubjectiveCompass 24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

An attractive female hooking up with attractive males is just human nature. If she hasn't disrespected you, and isn't hiding money issues or something that would directly affect your marriage... worry about keeping yourself as attractive as possible, you'll never be able to fully predict what a woman will / won't do, only that your best chance at a happy life and marriage is becoming who you want to be.

[–]Redpillbrigade17 58 points59 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yes you’re insecure.

Yes you should have a bullet proof prenup.

Good luck.

[–]SailorAground 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

If this dude doesn't already have a pre-nup, he better get one. With 11 dudes, plus the ones she doesn't talk about, I highly doubt her ability to pair bond is still intact. It sounds like she's got OP on the line for beta bucks and cushy lifestyle since his family is so powerful and he's likely a prince of sorts.

Also, don't ever move in with an LTR before marriage. Terrible decision.

[–]Redpillbrigade17 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nah. It’s your own preconceived notions talking, on both your points: (1) even virgins can become branch swingers and eventually jump back on carousel. Low or high n count. And (2) au contraire: move in if you want, to test the waters, but have a strong frame, and of course cohabitation agmt.

[–]whammyfeet 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Huh? 11 is nothing. That’s like 1 per year of her adult life. I’ve stumbled upon sex on accident more times than that.

[–]sd4c -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Prenups are worthless. This is long-established fact

[–]Redpillbrigade17 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

No. Depends on (1) how you do it (eg videotaped, good lawyer drafted, witnesses etc. beats a simple one page doc you do yourself) and (2) which jurisdiction (some states better than others).

[–]apietroski8 26 points27 points  (4 children) | Copy

Definitely you are worried about how you size up compared to guys in her past and guys she is checking out.

I wouldn't worry too much about her looking, and when you catch her doing it, tell her something along the lines of "that is one handsome looking dude isn't he". It is a playful way of calling her out on it.

11 people is not really that many considering she probably became sexually active around 18. So 6 years and 11 different guys isn't outrageous.

It is telling that she thinks highly of you, and it's good you didn't find anything negative she said about you.

The big problem here is you are not looking at yourself as the prize. You are worried that someone else is going to come along and steal her away. A prenup is probably the best plan if you are so worried about making this investment.

Stop worrying so much about comparing yourself to other people. If she brings value to your life and fits in with your mission, thats all that matters. If things get dull in the bedroom you know you can always get a cop uniform and tell her she's been a bad girl.

[–]SoggyTrainCucked by machines 12 points13 points  (19 children) | Copy

I don't see anything wrong with her behavior. Do yourself a favor and don't go looking for reasons to be insecure. It sounds like she likes you right now, but if you worry about gay shit like this your time will be limited. My wife was sleeping with at least one other guy before we got together, and I was banging a hot blonde, who gives a fuck? Women like to have sex too. Get to the gym pussy, I am close to your max bench at 100lbs less than you.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret 10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy

You needy, insecure, fucking little bitch. The problem here is not your special little snowflake...it is YOU.

Just like the 99% of other (wannabe) motherfuckers that end up here, YOU ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM.

So, right or wrong, you snooped your girl's shit and you found out she is 100% devoted, faithful, and loyal to you on every level. But, THAT isn't good enough for you.

You wanted her to be 100% devoted, loyal, and faithful to you BEFORE she ever met you, you delusional fucking little moronic bitch.

While you haven't posted a thought or commented a word your last 3 months here, did you read ANY of the sidebar? Any at all?

You got the message to lift, lose weight, be successful, etc. You listed all those accomplishments, but not one word of your post shows ANY knowledge of the sidebar.

You understand hypergamy, pair-bonding, n-count, monkey branching, ... that's all great. But because you HAVE NOT read the sidebar, you don't have the headspace to deal with it.

Let me break it down for you. I'm not going to spoon-feed the sidebar to you, but I am going to give you enough to show you that you know you better start reading it.

I have seen men come in here, rich, young, educated, jacked and tan and juicy as fuck, having problems with their bitch management because their headspace is all fucked up.

Here we go...

Your special little bitch sounds better than average. A lot of men would be happy with what you found.

She isn't the problem. Her n-count, liking sex, being sexual, being honest about her feelings, ALL of that shit is normal and desirable in a woman.

YOU ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM you sniveling, snot-nosed, whining little fuck.

Read that last sentence again. If you cannot or will not accept that YOU ARE the problem, then GET THE FUCK OUT because you are wasting ALL of our time, as well as your own.

You are not ready to be married. You are too insecure, too needy, low self-esteem, lack confidence, and still BETA to the core. You don't see yourself as the prize, not really, not yet. She can smell the testosterone in your phemerones, she can taste it in your saliva when you kiss her, and she can feel it as she absorbs your cum through the walls of her cunt.

And just as well, she can sense your weakness, your insecurity, your hesitation, and all the other fucked up things about you because that is how women have evolved to survive in a world that held them as property and slaves until just the last couple of hundred years. I don't have time to teach you about evolutionary psychology, but you would benefit from learning about it yourself.

The following is where you want to be, and the sidebar is how to get there.

You start with, "she's not yours, it's just your turn." Once you've internalized that and you become the prize, you realize if she fucks up, SHE loses HER turn.

Your becoming the prize does not mean you are done. It means you are the best she can do, TODAY. Tomorrow, you are better than today. You lose one more ounce of fat, lift one more pound, do one more rep, make one more dollar. If you want to REMAIN the prize, you have to become better, EVERY SINGLE DAY.

You have to come to a full acceptance and understanding of hypergamy. You have to know that what you and her feel right now in the relationship will CHANGE. You don't truly know if you love each other yet. You are riding the way of hormones you create in each other as you ride one relationship wave to the next. First it's the sex. The next wave starts when you move in together. The next wave is the marriage proposal. Then the marriage ceremony. Then 2-3 kids. It is when things finally settle down that you see who you are REALLY married to. Love isn't about how someone else makes you feel, it's about how YOU feel about THEM, because of who they are. You vet 2-3 years in the same status of a relationship BEFORE you move in and marry. You'd know this shit if you read the sidebar. And vetting doesn't always work because, SHOCKER, women can CHANGE. THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES.

Then, 10 years from now, you are a broken, fat, beta provider getting sex once a month or less, pussy-whipped beyond belief, totally submissive to your fat wife because of what it would cost you to leave her; usually half your shit and all of your kids. Then you get to pay her to fuck another man in your bed who spends more time with your children than you do.

Knowing what you now know about marriage and hypergamy in 2019, if you cannot clearly see your way OUT of a marriage, WITH children, then you have NO BUSINESS getting into marriage.

Make no mistake, she can do better than you, and you can do better than her.

If you cannot accept that she could leave you, and you KNOW that would be a gift because you could do better since you would be better than you are now, then you are not ready for marriage, or even an LTR.

Why?

Because you ALREADY have ONEITIS; arguably the greatest common denominator in the destruction of men today.

Keep lifting and making money.

But if you don't fix that broken shit between your ears, then...

YOU WILL FAIL.

How do I know?

Because the foundation of your failure is written in your OP.

Now, it's time for you to focus on YOUR LIFE, which with work will be awesome, WITH or WITHOUT her.

Turn your life into the train. She can get on, and get off any time she likes. But your train is on track, and if she gets off, there are plenty more waiting to take her place at stops all along the way in your life.

There are 3.5 BILLION cunts on this earth.

Stop your bitching and whining about this ONE FUCKING CUNT and..

GET BACK TO FUCKING WORK!

[–]sd4c 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He's right. Marriage is suicide.

Pookie, Tyrone and Ray-Ray have 6 kids each without putting a ring on it. Why can't you?

Because oneitis, that's why

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My man. No bullshit. OP, drop ego and think about every fucking step he listed.

[–]aherrns 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wanna live with you. Maybe we should call ourselves the febreeze brothers.

[–]Perfectinmyeyes 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Golden Post

[–]RPeed 6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy

Let me break it down for ya chief:

30k ring

You are a gay homosexual

physically she’s higher but I give her money

Your fiancée is a whore and you are her beta buxx

carry 260 well

You’re fat, have a fragile ego and the most attractive thing about you is your wallet. Which indeed your fiancée has rough sex with.

Lose some weight, go to the gym, say no to princess peach once in a while. You have her so high on a pedestal you can’t even see who she’s fucking up there.

[–]sd4c 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Where does it say 30k ring?!?!?! Not in OPs main post

[–]vplatt 6 points7 points  (8 children) | Copy

Look, I'll give it to you straight, and you didn't mention her stats or appearance, but let's just face facts: she is still in her 20's and very much at her prime physically and sexually. Her libido and wanting to look at guys is normal. Since you're at 260 lb, I'm guessing she's at least as attractive as you or more so. She can pull guys at any time, and I'm sure she knows it. Even if she's the same weight as you, you'll know if you've been reading the sidebar that she can jack her "score" 2-3 points or more anytime she wants with sexual availability indicators. If you're being honest about it, I think that's what has you nervous.

So, what to do? Well, you already know I think if you've read the sidebar. Work on your frame, work on your weight, as well as your lifts.

I'm a fellow fatty, so I'm not even being mean here, but you all are young; so you can correct your weight a lot faster and easier than you will be able to in 20 years. Trust me, I'm there. That 260 you're at now will be VERY easy to let grow to 300+; especially once you have kids. I'm back to where you're at now though and on my way to new territory. Anyway, if you think you're nervous about her temptations now, then just wait... it can get a lot worse.

Now, would she cheat on you? I don't know. But the point here is that you're asking us what to do about your feelings on this. Your feelings on this are merely a reflection of where you're at physically though, so fix that.

Sound about right?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

You just need to be better. You aren't the man you want to be yet or you would be confident and this wouldn't bother you. I wouldn't suggest a man get married unless he knows who he is and what he wants out of life. I made that mistake.

Do you have a vision of the man you want to be? Is it a soft guy who is 6'6 and worried about his Fiance checking out other men? If so, full steam ahead. If not, make yourself the man you want to be before you pull the trigger. Maybe get a prenup too. Lastly, why do you want to get married anyway?

[–]BostonBrakeJob 9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

She sounds fun.

You sound insecure.

[–]mrpalt1Chief of the Towel Police 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Look my dude we're all insecure at some point and possibly infinitely so. I have been, am and will be.

First like always focus on yourself. She's got a thing for hot guys, good for her, that's women. I'm your height and 60 lbs lighter. Assuming you're in fairly good shape, if I was next to you I would feel pretty insecure on physical presence alone. However, I can talk to anyone, I'm fairly smart, have good humor, and have interesting stories.

Moral of the story is on looks alone you might "beat" me but there is more to it than that. So in your case as it relates to her, be good looking and be interesting. Bring the focus back to yourself, if you're worried about a woman cheating don't go LTR and NEVER get married. If you're worried about being robbed, NEVER carry a wallet, or own a house, or car.

As for the previous dudes in her life, someone around here said it before you can't outfuck ghosts. Either own it or drop her and then go through similar with the next one. Get your head right.

There are plenty of homely looking dudes with absolute rockets for wives or girlfriends, looks aren't the MOST important.

EDIT TO ADD: Chief of the towel police so her thing for cops is probably true

[–]RPeed 8 points9 points  (11 children) | Copy

Tl;dr: fat salary man discovers women capable of physical attraction and weighs his value against:
Athletic men
Jacked men
Jacked men in uniform
Any rando his cock hungry fiancée stumbles across.

Only one way to work out how you stack up: ask your mom what she thinks.

Anything less than a rating of “her handsome prince”, consider dating someone fatter.

[–]themerovingian01 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like a normal woman to me. What's the problem?

[–]tom-anonymous 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Women check out guys just as much as guys check out other women. They just hide it better than men because they have better peripheral vision.

Your unicorn should get her peripheral vision checked if you're noticing this...

Edit: In my own situation and experience I've found the only way to stop her from doing this is to lift and create dread. If she's too busy noticing other guys right in front of you (and she keeps looking) it means she's very comfortable with you. Too comfortable.

[–]RicoDunne 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

this. Chicks are just not so overt and publicly drooling. They keep frame to be the prize. OP stumbled onto girl-locker room talk and is shocked. That tells me he probably doesn't have much experience with women.

[–]johnn2015 7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

This is the most beta insecure shit I’ve read in here. How many hours/days did you spend snooping through personal texts to find out all that?

[–]helaughsinhidden 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Although I believe in AWALT/hypergamy, I also believe it's a spectrum.

It's not a spectrum, but it is conditional and exacerbated by circumstances. For example; if you are weak, hypergamy says "MONKEY BRANCH" and loudly. If you are acting like a high value man, hypergamy "MAKE SURE HIS BALLS ARE EMPTY".

Is marriage with this woman doomed from the start or am I over analyzing what I found?

You are over analyzing and if you keep doing it, you are doomed. You can't unfuck her previous partners, the only thing you can unfuck is yourself. You are in her frame right now, worried about her past. You are comparing yourself instead of improving yourself.

The one thing she does do all the time is glance at other guys.........

Generally, women want to be noticed. She's probably looking to see if someone is noticing her. Question is why? Perhaps you are the kind of guy that texts too damn much so you don't have shit to talk about in person? Maybe you're conversation is boring? Could be trying to make you jealous to spice YOU up? Hard to tell without more context ........like is this at the bar, McDonald's, family reunions, at the pool, or everywhere? Is this to any guy, men who are alone, good looking or ugly? Does she touch herself or do anything to MAKE them notice her? Lot's of variables. Personally I like it when my wife looks hot enough that other dudes take notice, but I am not the kind to share. What do you think in your gut she's doing?

Actionable feedback:

DO NOT CONFRONT HER WITH THIS SHIT.

A lot of guys can't get over themselves and will throw this crap in their face our of their own lack and insecurity. The fact you looked is weak. If you bring it up, you look intimidated by her ability to get other men. This is why most guys shouldn't look, because they don't know how to hold frame when they see stuff they don't like.

HAVE YOU READ THE SIDEBAR POSTS AND RECOMMENDED BOOKS?

Those are the only things that will help. Also, go to a Halloween shop and buy a couple uniforms, like police, soldier, and doctor.

[–]RPeed 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

go to a Halloween shop and buy a couple uniforms, like police, soldier, and doctor.

dude would rock this.

[–]RedPillGlasses 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is so gay.

You’re over analyzing.

[–]whammyfeet 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

So... completely normal past for a woman...

[–]skuttt 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

11 is nothing. But does she think you’re alpha? If not it’ll grow.

[–]resolutions316 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cool how you hate female sexuality bro.

What do you want? A woman who actually likes to fuck, or someone raised in the Middle Ages who thinks vagina vapors cause plague?

You’re a mess. People like sex, AWALT, etc.

Fix your shit.

[–]floatingsidewalk 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Other than get yourself to a gym, some thoughts...

Frankly, this looks like a pretty normal life for a 27 year old with decent genetics and upbringing. Not good, bad or unusual. Maybe she likes cops/soldiers/whatever, but who cares. Most of us can't stop staring at the bikini-clad girl, who may or may not have any actual value beyond attraction - It's not necessarily a direct indicator of future negative behavior.

Here are some questions you could consider:

  • You went thru her messages and didn't find any red flags. Is your Spidey sense still going off? If so, why?
  • If you were to leave a copy of your messages for her to read, would she have similar level of confidence or reservations about you?
  • Can we assume you know her core values (you mention sharing a faith) and she knows yours? If so, are you sure they are compatible and suitable?
  • Does she demonstrate grit?

Btw, you've opened a potential Pandora's box by reading these messages. It seems that stuff like this always reaches daylight at the worst moments. I've personally seen numerous situations where people read their partners diary/phone/mail/whatever and when finally does surface it is a big trust killer and usually comes out during an argument or fight. Perhaps there is a way to head off a situation like that and use this information proactively in your decision making process? For example, it's pretty common that people lie about their n-count (e.g. - *3, /3). If this conversation came up, could you have a relatively transparent discussion about it? Would she lie? If she did, would the variance from actual be meaningful to you and would you understand and still accept her as a wife? Why or why not? Could you use what you've learned to confirm or discredit your intuition?

This is really about you and what you are brave enough to explore and willing accept.

Good luck!

[–]Perfectinmyeyes 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Ya did I miss something here? What's the problem with the chick?

You want a librarian that has a n count of 1, then go find one but she'll probably be not the best looking.

[–]fannyfire 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Older chicks are going to have mileage. I met my wife when she was mid twenties and she had an n count of 6. Did it bother me? Yeah, until I realized how shit she was shit in bed. Then it made me feel a lot better because at least I knew those guys were fuckoffs. I found out I was the prize when I literally couldn’t get this girl to leave me the fuck alone. She would fuck me anywhere anytime and drive an hour to see me. She’d clean my room, do my dishes and buy me shit.

If she adds value to your life keep her around. However, you mention that she has wandering eyes. My wife is from a traditional country. She sees me as her man and her leader, even if I am shitty at it. I’ve never once caught her looking at another man in my presence. Does she not do it? I don’t know but she’s fucking me and it’s just my turn. You can’t ever know what your girl is thinking and you wouldn’t want to. If she adds value to your life keep her around but realize that it’s all temporary.

[–]ManguZa 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You saw her dark side. All human have one and it seem not that bad for her. I would try it.

[–]Reject444 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, this one is easy. If you don't want to get married, don't get married. If you do want to get married, even knowing everything that you learn from MRP, but you worried about the financial/legal ramifications, just get a prenup. Decide what YOU want, and then make THAT happen. Quit being insecure--it sounds to me like you actually didn't find anything worrisome on her laptop at all--no evidence of cheating (on you or any previous committed partners), and no sign of disrespecting you in other ways. You know about AWALT but from what you say there don't seem to be any unique red flags here, and she might very well be a quality woman, as long as you keep yourself a worthy man.

[–]roundfarm1 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel like you're definitely overanalyzing this.
Your n-count is in the 40s and you're not sure if you're uncomfortable with her's being 11? Seems a bit unreasonable.
Slept with 4 men 2 months before meeting you? I don't think it would matter if it was the night before, how was she supposed to know she'd meet the love of her life in two months time?
You've never slept with multiple women at the same time? If not, consider why the thought of your wife being in an unexclusive relationship with two men before meeting you bothers you.
You haven't mentioned any texts about her cheating, so I don't think a past hook up with a friend is any threat.
Many women find "a man in uniform" attractive. You also mentioned that she was submissive, an authoritative figure would compliment that trait well. Glancing at other men isn't cheating but if it makes you uncomfortable you should bring it up and talk it out.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The worrying about n-count or her looking at other dudes is insecurity. If you really are a successful business owner, this is just easy proof/confidence in a prenup.

The bigger issue is how deeply you were reading into those messages. Who cares? My GF is a HB9 and I don’t care what she’s done before me. Probably some guy w/ a horse cock and another guy with way more money. But today, it’s my turn and she has great behavior, treats me like a king and fucks my brains out. That other shit is a distraction.

[–]sars445 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

TLDR - found out my wife had sex with other men before she met me

Who the fuck cares?

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Let's do the maths.

11 dudes.

Say, 5 x One Night Stands

6 x LTRs, 50 sex sessions each

Average cock size 6"

Average sex session, in and out 250 times.

(5x ONS x 250 x 6")+ (6 x 50 x 250 x 6")=

7500" + 375,000" = 383,500"

Or, in layman's terms, she had 31,875 foot of cock before she met you.

Not sure what your problem is tbh. That's only 6 miles of cock.

[–]sd4c 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Eleven bodies is fine for a hookup or even a GF, but is definitely NOT wifey material. Marriage is already risky, as the laws and courts get worse, even more so.

Pair that with her casual, nonchalant attitude towards sex and you're sitting on a timebomb, pre-nup or no. Because once you have kids with her, she's got the family court as her weapon (and a pre-nup can't help with that).

As a stoic, you'll have no real fear of looking at the statistical odds of a successful marriage with a woman who's accepted eleven different loads in her private tube. For example: (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QPnsHoU2Pzk/T3GylzESIiI/AAAAAAAAAYI/4USMzLGzm-A/s640/Heritage.jpg)

Given your detailed self-description as a thoughtful and successful person, it's hard to justify why you'd settle for someone this used up. You could likely do better, and she knows it, which is why you found no complaints.

Good luck

[–]SelectAirline 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Over analyzing 100%. Point by point...

Confirmed n-count of 11 (she specifically mentioned this number to her best friend)

I didn't know her n-count prior to this, not sure how to feel about it being 11

I used to worry about things like this as well. I knew it was silly, so the way I got past it was to just assume that every woman I met had a notch count of double her age. Whether it was true or not was irrelevant. The point was to stop thinking of women as the Madonna or the whore. She's neither... she's just a primate doing what primates have done for hundreds of thousands of years.

As for her count being 11... yeah, women lie to each other just as readily as they lie to men, so you haven't confirmed anything. The good news is that, as noted above, it doesn't really matter.

She was sleeping with at least two dudes at the same time before we met (1 & 2)

Justified it to her friends because she wasn't exclusive with either of them

Standard practice.

She texted a few of her friends excitedly telling them she slept with a professional soccer player (3)

Hooked up with a guy friend while on a group trip abroad (4)

She hooked up with a juice head (5)

She casually dated a police detective 10 years older than her for a few months (6)

Unless you're trying to set up some sort of gangbang with all her exes, why do you give a fuck about their jobs, ages, or hobbies?

She randomly messaged one of her friends: "I'm irritable and just need sex from a guy" (7)

This was the only actionable piece of information you got from all of that. Now you know that if she's more irritable than normal, then chances are that she just needs to be properly fucked. Use this information wisely.

Just to drive home the point about n-count being irrelevant, I numbered all the guys that you know of in the quote above. Factoring in you as well, that's 8. Do you really believe that there were only 3 other dicks throughout her entire life? Don't be naive. You'll never know the full extent of her past, and tbh you probably don't want to know. That applies not just to her but all women.

Instead of asking these irrelevant questions, ask yourself:

- Is she fucking you properly?

- Are you getting her best?

- Does she add value to your life?

[–]RStonePT 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I vetted her as best I could and always paid attention to her actions.

I didn't know her n-count prior to this, not sure how to feel about it being 11

Yes you do, you're miffed that yours is <10. Own it

4 of them were in the two months prior to meeting me

So she wasn't waiting at home for you to show up, but was actively spinning plates when you met.

You shouldn't get married, yes, for the reasons we talk about in here, but also, you clearly haven't fucked the insecurity out of your system yet.

Is marriage with this woman doomed from the start or am I overanalyzing what I found?

Yes, for the obvious reasons of marriage and you looking to check out of the SMP

Although I believe in AWALT/hypergamy, I also believe it's a spectrum. Perhaps the things I found point to her being more AWALT and hypergamous?

Even with it right in your face you handwave it away. Dude, there is no helping you if you don't want to be helped

[–]tap0988534 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Her past isn't as scary as the situation. You don't want to be a money prize. In historic relationships, once the marriage happened, all power in the relationship was ceded to the man. Now it is the opposite. At the point of marriage, all power goes to her. This is particularly dangerous if she is way more attractive than you, because it means your stuff and not you are the prize. At marriage she gets all the stuff free and clear. There is no risk to her for banging hot guys on the side once she bags you. Her hamster will make her love you while she is still on trial. She will be authentic and submissive. Once the power dynamic shifts, so will her hamster. Unless she is invested in you as the prize, you are fucked. If you see her as the prize, you are fucked.

[–]JameisBong 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro, marriage isn't a good idea in this environment. No matter how great she is now, the environment we live in is too toxic to have a successful traditional marriage.

Stay with her but if you can you should probably try and avoid signing your life and assets away ro someone. If she wants a ceremony fine,give her one but no legal documents and definitely have a pre nup if you are loaded.

[–]Brickles09 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"She's submissive (both in and out of the bedroom), she treats me like a king."

They all do, my friend. They all do. They only transform into a monster A F T E R marriage.

[–]Goobergus_Gubbins 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Given your circustances, I would probably next her and find a 22 year old new grad in engineering, accounting, or similar field, and that has a less titillating sexual history. When you are 50, boinking a 40 year old is going to be preferrable to someone almost your own age. You have very high SMV; in my opinion you are settling for a wife like you have described. Go younger and fresher.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Stop being insecure and command her to lick your asshole. If she does, marriage material. If she doesn't, then you're just a faggot.

But if she licks your asshole and you have flashbacks to the other 11 buttholes she has licked, I would consider licking a dude's butthole to see if she likes being cucked by a faggot.

Or, you could just stop being a fat faggot.

Either way, the butthole never lies.

/s

[–]PillUpAss 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you really like her, use a baby wipe first. Or realize every woman has a history, they are more red pilled than most men.

[–]lololasaurus 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I mean if I were marrying again and young, I'd just keep in mind the research that shows the higher the n-count above 0, the higher the risk of divorce.

You can find it from dalrock if you Google.

11 is higher risk, just from a data standpoint; the individuals matter but I don't know her.

Are you a high value man? You are pretty insecure (I might be too if I read all that, I don't know) so I'm going to go with "he has lots of work to do" but I don't know you. Maybe you really are.

Will you remain high value upon showing up and doing the work?

These are questions I can't answer, and they might be hard for you to answer too.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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