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If a girl isn’t pursuing you, does that mean she definitely doesn’t have high interest?

Reddit View
November 5, 2019
77 upvotes

Or is it more complicated. Read something saying if she has high interest you’ll KNOW, and if you have to question it then she doesn’t have high interest. Is this true?


Post Information
Title If a girl isn’t pursuing you, does that mean she definitely doesn’t have high interest?
Author ashblossomcherries
Upvotes 77
Comments 51
Date 05 November 2019 03:49 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/294061
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/drtpdk/if_a_girl_isnt_pursuing_you_does_that_mean_she/
Similar Posts
Comments

[–]boardrider73217 points218 points  (9 children) | Copy

I have found out later that girls had huge crushes in me but gave literally no chosing signals. Some girls do not feel comfortable showing much interest. Always assume attraction!! I have lost out on a lot of ass by fucking that up.

[–]Hungboy696942032 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes it's your job to make a move

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY200224 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

This x1000.

There are women out there that rarely message me, yet when I speak to them I will be fucking them within 30 mins of said conversation.

Then there are women that I rarely see, don't have their social media/number etc, wouldn't think that they're into me, yet when I see them it's a whole other story.

Always assume attraction. Always.

[–]PreEntertain1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes! And they choose a path of least resistance to the most attractive mate.

So knock down any walls either of you may have

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the one thing I found most difficult to deal with when I started my RP journey: assuming attraction. I'd constantly play games in my head trying to figure out if she was into me or not. The barrista girl, the girl at the bar, the girl in the office opposite mine. Constantly second guessing myself, constantly trying to look for clues as to whether or not I should approach.

Just approach them all and see what happens. This goes for every step of the way. Do what you want to do. You'll find out pretty quick if she's along for the ride or not.

[–]frognads44 points45 points  (9 children) | Copy

Not necessarily, some girls are just very passive. I am more inclined to judge it based on how they react to me. Men are supposed to make the first move.

However you can be sure she's interested if she's pursuing you.

[–]ashblossomcherries[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

The reason I ask is because I feel like whether she’s high or low interest changes how much I try to see her.

I had dinner with her today and I offered to take her ice skating this Saturday. Not sure whether I wait until Saturday to talk to her at all, aka just text for logistics

[–]VSelf474 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

There is an article stating to not pre plan future dates, you lose mystery, spontaneity and makes you seem needy. I’ll try to find it.

I am at a similar situation. Girl I’m chasing never seemed to start any interaction, I made a “soft next” and she texted me yesterday, out of comfort I believe, but it is clear we are both interested.

Clear advice: ask her out, isolate and escalate.

[–]LordLoveRocket001 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yes but people have lives and friends, work family occasions etc so if you ring her on said day expecting to drop everything or something you might not get the answer you want. I agree but this is maybe better implemented when your dating.

[–]VSelf470 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Man, stop with that defeating attitude. There’s a difference between “No I can’t make it” and “No I can’t make it today but I’m free X day”, see the difference? And no, it’s nos exclusive to dating. Also take note, if a girl tells you something like “I work late on C day” well don’t fucking text here that day of the week. This shit ain’t even TRP just logistic thinking.

TRP advice: Also get abundance or fake it at the very least.

[–]LordLoveRocket000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There's nothing defeated about it its fact. So you call her at 2pm Saturday and expect her to meet you that night or day because its spontaneous? Nothing wrong with abundance ive had it since early 20's in mid 30s now. Yes some dry spells due to depression etc but was never a problem.

Your being hypocritical or your first post. You first post made it sound like i say jump and you say how high. And its basic common sense. Im all for spontaneous, but if you not top 10% and shes not extremely attracted shes not gonna drop everything like you suggested. Plus depending on the age your targeting shes most likely to play hard to get if she is into you and dosent want to seem easy.

Edit plus there's fuck all needy about calling a woman Wednesday night and saying how do you fancy me taking you out for the best date of your life Saturday? If no then no contact or move on depending on her attitude/attraction/flakyness.

[–]ashblossomcherries[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

She agreed to go ice skating and seems pretty interested, but she’s not texting me first at all

[–]frognads4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You shouldn't expect her to. Feminine girls don't initiate.

Who gives a fuck whether or not she texts you first, if the end result is the same?

I judge a girl's interest by whether or not my dick is in her mouth at the end of the day.

[–]serd121 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I say don't reply to her. If she's interested in you, she'll reply and meet up. Let her do the work. You've done your job at throwing the line, now it's her turn to follow the bait.

[–]Protocol_Apollo10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only way to really know her interest levels is to see if she goes out with you/fucks you etc.

Escalate and see.

[–]PimPedOutGeese42 points43 points  (5 children) | Copy

Ultimately a woman will move heaven and earth if she's interested in you...

Not sure? Stop the bullshit and be direct with her.

You'll see where you both stand.

[–]Vouch33r9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

Never be direct. It should always be covert. One of the reasons is plausible deniability. Have you read the sidebar?

[–]The_Belony11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think that he meant that you should approach her get her number and set up a date

[–]PimPedOutGeese5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Women by default speak in "power talk" to determine who "gets" them.

[–]2ComplexProjection15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

Most women will never overtly pursue or reject you. That's not how women communicate.

Women's job is to make themselves available. When you propose something, if she is up for it or not but propose to reschedule, that's a sign of interest.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K182 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. I don't sit back stressing over 'omg, she's not pursuing me, why is she not interested'?

I polarize. I always text towards logistics, or something sexual. I judge her interest on her response.

One of my current best plates always responds with a yes, or 'I'm sorry, I can't, but tell me what next day you're free and I will be there'.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not necessarily.

Many girls are shy or don't want to be "shamed" for liking a certain guy. Most of those girls that don't must feel like shit with themselves.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or is it more complicated.

It's more complicated.

Girls mostly don't pursue guys.

Read something saying if she has high interest you’ll KNOW, and if you have to question it then she doesn’t have high interest. Is this true?

This is true, but it's not a reason to bail.

Generally girls get more interested as they invest more, and get a lot more interested after (good) sex. Before sex it's mostly on you. After sex it's 50-50. After sex twice it's mostly on her.

[–]Greek-God-Brody9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read 'The Medium is the Message' by Rollo. High-interest girls will make it easy for you.

Also, it's possible for her to go from hot to cold, for her interest to drop from sky-high levels of attraction to gone in a fast timespan.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, not necessarily in the first few weeks. Some chicks stick to books like "The Rules" to a T because Mommy bought it for them when they graduated Catholic school.

Those books say let men be the pursuers all the time because that's what they actually want to be doing. Strangely, women lose interest usually when they don't have to chase you.

Make sure you qualify them and shit test them a bit from the get-go. If they think you need them less (iron rule), they develop anxiety which is a very good thing. Anxiety creates attraction. Keep her walking on eggshells.

Hold frame. Push-pull.

[–]IXseed3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It depends if you've given her something to pursue in the first place. If you haven't given any signs AT ALL that you're interested (asked her out, tried to escalate, etc) women will hide their intentions as to not get hurt. Women fear rejection worse then we do.

Edit: Remember the rule of thumb is this; if she likes you, she'll help you move things along. If not, she'll put up obstacles.

[–]thinkingfemale2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My take as a woman who subscribes to TRP: If a girl is pursuing you, yes, she'll have a high interest. But she will probably also have high testosterone or very strong ideals about being a "strong independent woman" – in any case she won't be your typical girl.

Now, 90 % of women won't pursue you even if they have an interest. That is because we want you to pursue us – and so, our interest will first grow from moderate to high once you have charmed us. That is just how the dynamics work.

[–]Bone_Coat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I NEEDED THIS

[–]Foolishoe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you don't know, she isn't that interested in you.

[–]geo_gan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was in shallow end of swimming pool. In maybe 2 foot of water. So I’m sitting upright in water on pool floor. Teen girl reverses towards me. I’m facing her way. She keeps going backwards until she is over my crotch then stops and sinks. Onto my lap. I don’t know her. Stays there for a good few seconds. Then she sort of gets up and turns around and says sorry to me. Pretending it was a mistake. She was literally sitting on my dick. I was pinned under her.

That is interest. You’ll know.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Actions, not words. You know she has high interest if she's replying, if she's meeting up, touching you, laughing at your jokes, inviting you over and to things etc. Women hate themselves and keep getting in their own way, don't think too much about it, just keep looking at her actions.

[–]Kn312 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she fucks you she's interested

[–]Haytch12340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It means she has options. But doeant mean shea not open to approaches

[–]PatrickIIDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So, this happened. I used to message and video chat with this Ukrainian girl. She would message me every day, and we would video chat time to time. Now, I've had to send the messages and she doesn't reply as often and now she hasn't messaged me for 5 days. I think I'm going to write her off and move on now.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A lot of times I retroactively find out someone REALLY liked me but they showed 0 signals at the time, although sometimes people have made it obvious. Depends on the person but don't wait for signals

[–]PhaedrusHunt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's the man's job to pursue

Think about the term pussy hound

Hound it out. Sniff it out. Root it out. Hunt it get it.

They don't say dick hound.

A woman's job is to guard the pussy. Lol.

[–]PhaedrusHunt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Originally replying to inferner ust comment was deleted:

You make some good points but I differ on some of the plausible deniability stuff.

I've actually found a great way to build tension is to mention sex early on. Everyone here should know the adage that a woman knows if she wants to sleep with you within the first 5 minutes. It's actually faster than that in my experience. You have to pick up on that, and then go from there. I know if there's chemistry right away same thing. And I'm actually kind of picky. If a woman's not super hot she's going to have something else. Like if she's at 7 or below she's going to have to really impress me I don't know.

Anyway before I go off on a tangent my point is if I'm feeling the chemistry right away going both directions, either start to escalate almost immediately or at least mention sex. One forst date that ended up turning into a good plate I kind of had a devilish grin on my face and she asked what I was thinking about. I said do you really want to know? I was thinking that we're going to have really good sex. She laughed and said she'd already thought about that too. This is not far into the date maybe less than an hour and with several hours before I got it back to my place but that tension was building the whole time and there was never any doubt about what was going to take place.

This is just one example there are others like this.

Which is not to say everything always has to be explicit like that or overt. You have to read the situation.

a lot of guys approach game like it's marching band. Hit this note at that time. They want an answer for everything. I go at it more like jazz

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

if they aren't eating ur diq, ignore

[–]bodybuilder980 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No...

Please, sidebar.

[–]HectoSexual0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I can’t tell you how many times I invited a girl that I knew was a lost cause back to my place, and to my great surprise she said yes with relief and enthusiasm.

Girls can be shy too.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They send the signal, you make the move. They dont pursue you.



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