Why you should quit porn. Porn is controlling you.

You broke off from your dire compulsion - good. But I'm aware that unless moderation is used, the next 'thing' will be just the same. That's how it is. Too much was the norm. Too much of something else will also be the norm as well... unless recognized.

I don't necessarily think "obsession" is a bad thing. I think driven individuals like Elon Musk, Drake, etc are very beautiful thing. The goal for me (and I think to all people ideally) is to funnel my addictions into healthy obsessions. So I'm "obsessed" with working out 3 times a week, and becoming bigger (working out every day, especially as a novice lifter, e.g. less than 225 bench, 315 squat, 405 deadlift actually doesn't do much for you, and actually hurts you, as you gain muscle when you're recovering from lifting, so that example of someone being obsessed working out everyday... that's just a problem with the "choice" of obsession, rather than the obsession itself). I'm obsessed with getting better with women. I was obsessed improving my career (I make WAY more than 150k, which isn't a lot to some of you, but I'm 30, love my job, and I'm working on building an empire).

If you've looked at Simon Sinek's work, we humans are governed by chemicals, and more specifically, EDSO: Endorphins, Dopamine, Seratonin, and Oxytocin. We've evolved to crave these chemicals, and our ancestors who chased more after these chemicals and got them, were the ones that survived and flourished.

It's only until recent time where we've been able to circumvent the original intent of getting these chemicals. Drugs, Porn, Video Games, Social Media. All things that mimic more intimate, real life situations, without any of the benefits.

In any case, my point is that you see obsession as a weakness. I don't think we can nor should shake off our human vessels and their characteristics. It's ok to be obsessed about something, to be possessed by something. But you can point that needle in a direction that better suits overall happiness. You can be obsessed with MANY things to the point where you don't overdo any one thing. I have a general obsession with self improvement that's ferocious and a form of possession on the whole, but balanced when viewed as a whole. I engage in EDSO just like the next person, but just in a targeted way. I get dopamine the same as someone looking at porn, just in a different way (everything is about EDSO, end of the day).

You can look at an attractive woman and enjoy the beauty.

I think that's fine. Here's what I'd say to you:

I do think "porn" is a broad term and category. MOST guys watch porn, I'd say they're watching video's of other guys pumping some woman in and out for 20 minutes straight, and jack off to it, not pictures of solo naked woman, admiring the female form like some sort of philosopher. I'd argue the video form is the norm, whilst what you are suggesting is way more specific. So yeah... I can appreciate what you're doing there, but just keep in mind: just like the guy in your story, most people aren't going to be thinking of porn in that way, and a lot of times, that will be the "gateway" drug to watching videos.

I think a lot of guys could enjoy the beauty of women in other ways. There's nothing like dancing with a woman and looking at her body and her getting excited while you're doing it, whilst controlling her movements, smelling her, grinding on her. And you can look at the real thing, and dance with 5-12 women a night. There's nothing like approaching a woman, and when she's hooked, looking at her body, to suggest your intention, touching her on the elbow, kissing her on the cheek and catching a little bit of her lips. I also love watching women walk. I even have a bunch of subreddits where I look at woman.

Again though, here's the baseline idea: are you maximizing EDSO for maximum long term happiness and effect. I don't agree in dopamine for dopamine sake. As a human, you want it regardless... why not maximize your life by doing things that improve your position in life, and let THOSE be the things that give you dopamine.

Now... if your definition of porn is reading a porn magazine, not jacking off, admiring the female form, and maybe that gives you more confidence with women in general, maybe a satisfaction better than what I do (dance with women, date them, fuck them, approach them, and admire them that way), then all the more power to you.... I can appreciate that. But I'd call what you're doing the outlier (and the extreme, in a weird sense)

But for other people: there are ways to USE your natural predilection as a human to be obsessed with obtaining EDSO for GOOD, rather than fight it. GET YOUR DOPAMINE from HIGH QUALITY SOURCES, and MAXIMIZE YOUR POTENTIAL. We have to agree to disagree... you look at the human condition, as a "condition". These are the things that have allowed us to evolve as superior beings. There's absolutely zero reason to look down on these things. Use them! They're very very powerful tools.

With my diet (Keto / Carnivore) I can actually eat as MUCH as I want, and actually want to gain weight, and have a hard time doing it on this nutrient rich diet... and the more I eat, the more muscle I gain (whilst maintaining a healthy body fat ratio for ideal anabolic situations for gaining muscle). A FAT person eating cookies and cakes and chips and nonsense... it would be bad for them. Do you see how the raw instinct of even wanting to eat as a human can either be used for good, or bad? The TRICK, is to work WITH your nature, not fight it. Understand how humans operate, understand how YOU operate, and point the needle in the direction you want to go, and use EDSO to your benefit.

I can appreciate your story about fear, but that's just another situation governed by EDSO: conquering fear worth conquering, which gives you dopamine in the process, and changes your relationship with fear that you want to encounter.

Also pride IS fine but it can also hurt you... it's inherently neutral, it's up to you to not let it govern you, but rather use it as a tool to achieve what you need to. When I said pride, I assumed you understood that there are absolutely instances where a person would LET their pride fuck them out of a beneficial situation, or fuck them INTO a non beneficial situation.