Girlfriend(28) asking me (27) to marry her

Reddit View
November 13, 2019
134 upvotes

Hello everyone, throwaway for obvious reasons. My (27) girlfriend (28) is asking, or better say requesting, that I marry her. If it was another case, or other person I would show her the door, but it isn't, and here's the long story.

I am from third world country, when I finished HS got into Uni, in field related to medicine, but not the medicine (think radiological technologies, nursing, lab, physio) because my parents forced me to go there but not the medicine. There I meet this 5'7'' girl who was 6 really. nice face but nothing to stand out. Then I had 310lbs at my worst, while I was 6'4''. While I had height and kinda nice face for fat fuck there is no chance I was over 3-3.5. I was Billy beta, no doubt.

We started dating and she was really nice to me, when I decided to study medicine (6 years) she fully supported me and told me how I deserve it and how should I go for it, and shit like that. She helped me even put arguments to my parents. I got into medicine and that was going fine until my Grandpa died, the man I loved the most, and I was fucking depressed and cried many times on her shoulder. After that I hit rough patch and was on verge of suicide, but she helped me go through that. We always hung out somewhere cheap or free because I never had money and really was not into her paying for shit, even though she always offered.

In my third year of medicine I decided it's time to stop overeating and all that shit, as much as I did that for myself, I did it for her too. I hit the gym, always used to do MMA, now did it more, lost over 50 kg, now I have 100kg, at 11% body fat. When I started skipping meals, and working out a lot more, I told her I did it for her as well and she always said shit like "You don't have to", "I love you either way". In my 4th year she got professional job and nice pay, she bought me stuff, even though I couldn't reciprocate.

I finished med school last year, got paid cardiology residence in the best hospital in the country, and I am the shit, I look good, I am very appreciated in my field and people are projecting me good career, I did some amazing stuff and award-winning researches.

But my gf now asked me to marry her, and shit I get that, she is getting older, and we both want children, she had job, I've got job. But here's the thing, I know I am now, today 8 or 9, with nice SMV, and she is 5.5 who is approaching the wall, and if it was anyone else I would told her to gtfo, but she was always here for me, she never cheated on me (although even when I was the most beta I've always told her:"If you think you could do better, go"). I did fuck other girls, but it's only that. I don't know how to put it into words, I believe I can do much better, and I love her, I am not in love with her, but I truly love her. Last year I tried to make her dump me, but it's not happening.

TL:DR girl was with me when I was 3.5 and nobody and she was 6, supported me all the time, now I am 9 with good career and she is asking me to marry her.


Post Information
Title Girlfriend(28) asking me (27) to marry her
Author throwaway26180081
Upvotes 134
Comments 243
Date 13 November 2019 01:22 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/295069
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dvrowz/girlfriend28_asking_me_27_to_marry_her/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
betacheatingsexual market valuethe walllift
Comments

[–]shitposterkatakuri299 points300 points  (65 children) | Copy

This is gonna be really unpopular here but I think stability, loyalty, and purity will be of more value long term for raising a family than looks. If you want a family and don’t wanna just fuck girls long term, you will want the mother of your children to have not been a thot. You’ll want her to be loyal and kind and committed and focused and devoted. And ultimately, your wife, no matter who she is, will grow old and uglier. A 5.5 with a 10 heart is worth more than a 9.5 with a 5 heart. Looks always decay but the moral compass and convictions a person has does not. I am not going to say marry her. That’s your decision. But you’re not getting the best advice from people viewing this as solely transactional since you do want a family. Maybe you should marry her. Maybe you shouldn’t. But I’ll tell you the answer shouldn’t be “definitely not!”. This is a very rare type of woman that you found. Very, very rare. Someone actually maybe worth admiring for your eventual children. Don’t do something you one day regret.

[–]trele_morele28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is not an unpopular opinion. It's a rational, adult perspective. This sub just happens to be dominated by the younger demographic focused on sex

[–]shitposterkatakuri0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha thanks man. Cheers :)

[–]bumbuff16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is gonna be really unpopular here

I'd say 50/50.

TRP on reddit is infested with guys that are more interested in being a PUA than than actual permanent self improvement

[–]shitposterkatakuri4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Facts

[–][deleted] 81 points82 points  (25 children) | Copy

These girls are once in a lifetime type thing don’t let your dick make a poor decision.

[–][deleted]  (20 children) | Copy

[removed]

[–]SeasonedRP15 points16 points  (17 children) | Copy

Why do you think he's immune from divorce and alimony if he marries this woman? She very well might do that after she's had kids and has no more use for him.

[–][deleted]  (14 children) | Copy

[removed]

[–]SeasonedRP2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Everything changes once they lock you down.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]ArnoldT10000 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Absolute bullshit. He is extremely high value now. He could find a new girl like this in a week.

[–]01cALipH0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Have you found one like her?

[–]ArnoldT10001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just look at the update and it says everything I need to say.

Just because you think she’s special doesn’t mean she is. She entered his frame again just like any other girl would if you do things right.

Y’all need to quit doubting theory in the face of a potential unicorn. Female nature doesn’t change.

[–]ArnoldT10000 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Past indications of loyalty don’t mean shit

[–]iteal2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

They are better than no indications of loyalty though.

[–]ArnoldT10000 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Yes, but not good enough that it justifies signing your life away.

[–]iteal0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I think he shouldn't marry, too. But that's not the question is it? He said he definitely wants to marry and have children. So the question is who to marry and not if.

[–]ArnoldT10000 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Nah dude read the update

[–]TacoMedic8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

She may, but she’s the closest thing to a loyal woman as there comes.

OP has already stated he wants marriage/children and any pre wall 8s+ WILL cheat on him, at least this girl has shown loyalty even when her SMV was drastically higher than his.

Obviously you shouldn’t get married, but if you must, then do it to a 6 who has already shown LTR compatibility.

[–]TitsAndWhiskey2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah that’s bad advice. People change. You can’t count on someone not fucking you over because she seems to be a good person now.

[–]curvedbymykind0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

How much money was he making? Didn’t read original post

[–]TacoMedic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He went through med school and is in the cardiology field. He’s also one of the top in his country.

My bet is he’s a cardiologist, but either way just being in the cardiology field means he’s doing better than most of us.

[–]ArnoldT10003 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Read the rational male. You still believe in “the one” fallacy.

[–]flipthecatjack0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Do you have any tips for how to root out that engrained idealization of “The One”?

I know to spin more plates, learn to love yourself and consider yourself as the prize, always keep things within your frame, AWALT, that Hypergamy and biology are out of our conscious control, etc.. but goddamn is Oneitis pervasive.

Is it just a factor of time and experience? This feels like I‘ve been raised to believe in a religious cult, and I’m just now being shown the truth of the outside world - except worse because the truth of my false beliefs is everywhere, yet everyone around me is still indoctrinated into the cult. What the hell man

[–]ArnoldT10000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Correct, time and experience. You have to beat that belief out of you.

“The average man is ignorant and misled. His mental construct of women is far greater than anything the typical woman aspires to. This is not his fault for his biology deceives him and society lies to him, as such the deck of deception is stacked. Nevertheless, the reality remains.” - Illimitable Men

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. This is so unlikely that I would either be suspicious or consider it completely impossible.

[–]KillaJewels12 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy

Agree, to some extent. Looks fade with time. If she has a nice face and the rest is decent, that should be good enough. At that point, it's really about the qualities.

Questions you should be asking: Is she loyal? Is she submissive? Would she be a good wife/mother of my kids? What are her in-laws/family like? Is she compatible with the future I envision for myself?

[–]Popeman790 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

If she's a good partner, and they got the money, plastic surgery fixes almost any girl.

[–]Serniebanders690 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Bro, shut yo ugly ass up.

[–]Popeman790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why the hate? You dislike plastic surgery? Also how did you know I was ugly

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[removed]

[–]hakoonamatata91 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hes gonna get cucked so hard by a 10.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Said the same thing but got downvoted by the incel brigade.

[–]doonspriggan2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Looks always decay but the moral compass and convictions a person has does not.

Very poignant quote that I want to be wholly true, however I can't be sure.

[–]shitposterkatakuri5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tbh it’s like 3/4 true. People change and grow. Change is inevitable. But if you are a strong man with a frame made of twisted steel and panther piss, YOU will dictate the direction of change. Try as they might, the waves of life will not prevail against your vessel as you steer it towards your chosen destination. Change is inevitable. The clever can choose the change they want and work towards it. We few, who visit this sub and who do want a family, must be able and willing to go further to master and direct our own change and the change of our future families. That’s what it is to be an effective patriarch :)

[–]LethalShade4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, look at alternative options. A true alpha doesn't let society define his choices for him. If you're really miles ahead of her in SMV, open up your relationship on your side if you want a loyal wife while still chasing hot tail. If you offer her emotional commitment, provisioning and a good environment for her kids, it's also a great deal for her.

The idea that sexual exclusivity is the foundation of a loving relationship is a relatively recent societal construct, it has some merit but if you're making this big of a decision, it's worth considering alternatives.

[–]Zanford1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You can get those things, like having kids and raising them under one roof, without marriage, though, reducing your legal / financial risk. And arguably it will make the relationship more stable, as she'll have less financial incentive to run off. (Possibly child support, but that beats child support + alimony).

[–]shitposterkatakuri0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I’d recommend a prenup probably

[–]Zanford2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes judges will shred prenups, but, it's still massively safer, and a marriage with a good prenup is probably closer to being unmarried than to being married without one. Some advice for bros considering:

  • You'll want her to be repped by her own lawyer. Makes it harder for her to say later on that she didn't know what she was signing or was under duress. And you should be prepared for her to play good cop bad cop with her lawyer (her lawyer will try to convince her not to 'give up' too much via prenup like waiving all alimony)

  • Finish the prenup before doing ANYTHING else (ring, setting date, venue booking, informing family, etc. ) Otherwise you could get put in a squeezed position where if she doesn't sign you either lose a venue deposit (bad) or get married without a prenup (MUCH WORSE) or something. Also, if a prenup is signed right before the wedding, it's another angle for 'I was under duress' later.

  • If she gives you shit abut this ("you don't trust me? boo hoo hoo...") stay calm. In fact you should see this as an opportunity to fish out her true character. The more opposed to a prenup she is, the more you'll learn she felt entitled to your money all along.

  • Even if she's richer, you probably want a prenup. She might quit her good job (lots of female MDs drop out of the practice after a few years for example, part of the reason for the US doctor shortage). She might have hidden debts (student debt is common, as are bad credit card habits). If she has a lot of family money, her family probably has that shit locked down tight in various living trusts etc. to protect it from the alimony claims of their princess's 'deadbeat' ex-hubby (you). And courts will be massively biased against you (esp if there are kids). Also if you go for alimony she might make up an abuse story to get out of it or get a sympathetic judge to lower the amount (there was a news article a few years back where a woman got an entire state's laws changed so that she wouldn't have to pay alimony to an ex-husband b/c she claimed abuse).

[–]DinduNuffin331 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This

[–]Diche_Bach0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

True. But an 8.5 with a 10 heart trumps your 5.5 with a 10 heart.

Keep looking till you find a TRULY exceptional one. Not finding anything remotely in that ballpark? Change your search methods: Laundromats in upscale neighborhoods were a win for me.

[–]shitposterkatakuri2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

The method is clever lol. But I think that someone this loyal is truly exceptionally rare. If the girl is 8.5 with a 10 heart, the likelihood that someone else didn’t already cash in their lotto ticket and claim is infinitesimal. I mean it’s good to want that and strive for it. And I know this isn’t maybe “abundance” enough, but if one is looking for marriage and they want a good life partner and mother of their children, a 10 heart is rare enough that you can’t expect to find another one within any reasonable time horizon. And becoming a doctor will make it MUCH harder to judge if someone is truly a 10 heart or a pretend 10 heart looking for a cash cow. I just think there’s value in being careful before glossing over a girl who’s been his ride or die when selecting a wifey. She’s even above average according to his standards. With a little glute working out and maybe some pec exercises, can probably get to a comfortable 6. 6 + 10 heart is definitely a CANDIDATE for wifey material imo.

[–]Diche_Bach1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I guess I got real lucky. But, it did take me about 15 years, scores of failures, lots of anguish, and perhaps most importantly (a) learning to be content alone; and (b) realistically appraising my own expectations, hopes and fears. To operationalize (b) what I eventually did is to start writing down a list of characteristics, actually two lists if memory serves: (i) traits I absolutely MUST have in my mate; (ii) traits I absolutely cannot stand in my mate. After that, things were a lot clearer and I embarked down cul-de-sacs and into ambush territory much less often . . . wasted my time and energy a lot less too.

[–]shitposterkatakuri1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fair enough man! Lists are definitely helpful to narrow the search to useful candidates. Congrats on your success!

[–]FinancialThanks10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Plus if your smv is much higher than hers you could probably negotiate some kind of one sided open relationship

[–]Str_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is solid advice OP.

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

A 5.5 with a 10 heart is worth more than a 9.5 with a 5 heart.

What? Are trading a fucking horse or something?

AWALT. You are playing a dangerous game with metrics that aren't even real.

[–]Arnoux-4 points-3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Looks matter even it will fade away. Not for your amusement but for the health and looks for your kids. Looks signal good genes which means healthy person. Obviously you have to be aware of what you are looking for and don’t get fooled by makeup.

I choose a somewhat thot over 2 other girls who would probably never cheat on me. They were better in every scale except looks. My baby is 3 months old and he is objectively more handsome and healthy than other babies.

[–]shitposterkatakuri0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think sluttery and attractiveness tend to not be found together so it’s reasonable for most men to compromise for an in between. If you somehow raise your SMV to ungodly levels, you can probably have both. Ideally our society would lead everyone to avoid hoeing around so we could choose the best of the best for relationships but oh well!

[–]Original_Username7146 points147 points  (38 children) | Copy

Fuck dude, I’m gonna get downvoted to hell for saying this but the idea of leaving her now that you’re better is the exact same things that we criticize women for doing all the time on here. Can anyone see that? This girl is acting in the opposite ways we say most women act (my ex was repulsed by my weakness). I really don’t think you’d be where you are at all today without the support of this women. You pretty much owe her. Yes, red pill is about sexual strategy and is “amoral”, but if you’re looking for help making a moral choice, this may not be the best subreddit to ask on. I totally get feeling like you want some hot pussy now that you can get it, but take it from a guy who was married to a 9 who turned into a evil bitch, just hearing about your good woman blows my mind and makes me kinda wish I’d ended up with that instead. I’m not saying marry her, that has it own host of problems, but I am saying you casting her aside after she helped you become awesome is immoral in my book. Congrats on your success bro, I wish you the best. edit: spelling

[–]rockyp3210 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

U got a point we hate women for doing it but we’ll do the same shit. Women just have way more abundance so they’ll do it for way stupider shit. Also probably cause men chase women so much it gives them a distorted abundance that maybe wouldn’t exist if there wasn’t porn everywhere

[–]Serniebanders690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Men and Women are both such jealous stupid creatures when you really take a step back and see the world for how it really is.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]throwaway261800815 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

She isn't pressuring me per se, but she dropped it twice in last 3 months. She has like this saving of money for us to go to the honeymoon and has saving for our house, and fuck when we talked about marriage seriously 2-3 years ago I told her I can't marry her before I get the job.

[–]Nergaal2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

do you want kids?

[–]throwaway261800817 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yes. Like 10 of them

[–]Nergaal-4 points-3 points  (1 child) | Copy

then start making some with this woman and spread the sed somewhere else meanwhile

[–]TantalizingGrapfruit3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah and she should make sure some of those kids come from another man, too, right? No point in staying the loyal woman she is if OP isn't holding his end of the deal up and cheated himself!

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Interesting.

[–]LethalShade-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't disagree with you but can we keep life partners off of what we owe them? It's a hard call. My solution to him was to look into nonmonogamy. Keep her as a loyal partner and have other hot girls that you fuck if your dick is really not satisfied with this one. If his SMV is that high compared to hers, it's also a good deal for her.

[–]Spaghetti1776-2 points-1 points  (11 children) | Copy

So she’d do the same to him

[–]Nergaal4 points5 points  (10 children) | Copy

OP pretty much said she DIDN'T do the same to him

[–]iwviw4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

She was never a 9 though. This guy is a 6’4 mma ass kicking cardiologist at the best hospital in the country

[–]Nergaal6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

he said he himself was a 3 at some point and seems like the girl wasn't that low. regardless, she saw potential in him and helped him achieve OP's current status. not many women these days can boast that

[–]iwviw5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

She was a 6 . Her 3 bf was in med school. Broke. But in med school nonetheless. This guy was like an investment and it paid off

[–]Garathon6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

She was with him before med school though, so that doesn't count.

[–]throwaway261800812 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is correct. She was the reason I got into med school

[–]TantalizingGrapfruit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is he actually though?

[–]ArnoldT10000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have absolutely no way of knowing that.

[–]Spaghetti17760 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

He's 6'4 who is now a 9. Chances are he was never a 3.

[–]iteal1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Chances are he is not a 9 lmao

[–]Spaghetti17760 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I could see either one being true, but not both. Being that tall really helps.

[–]TheBunk_TB132 points133 points  (6 children) | Copy

If you don't feel that way about her, you don't feel that way about her. It wouldn't be a good idea. You need to be honest with her, though. Her vision of you was rewarded somewhat. You technically don't owe her for it but you owe her honesty. (I personally feel like I owe people that have been on my team but this is not a "law". It is my opinion). Marriage isn't a joke. It is often a lifetime decision that can might you in the rear end. You have a lot to lose.

[–]hoopingblob22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is gold advice. Honesty is the best approach here. Be honest with yourself aswell. Do you really wanna get married? This is key because if you forcefully marry her it's going down the drainm

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]setsuna00 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I never thought about it this way.

[–]ValorElite0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What did original post say? OP edited

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hm.

[–]LiftHeavyFuckSteady116 points117 points  (15 children) | Copy

So after reading some comments, you guys are hypocritical on this one. It's entirely his fault and we should not overlook this.

I mean i agree, don't marry someone you don't wanna spend the rest of your life with (so for me never), but honestly this is just his fault and he's a cunt for keeping someone around who does not meets his expectations.

We normally judge girls for riding the CC in their younger years instead of locking down an alpha? And now that a girl does exactly what she is biologically wired and expected to do in our eyes, we don't even appreciate it and fitstbump the guy for growing out of his old pair of pussy?

So for me it's end it right now and fkn grow a pair of balls in all your scarcity.

[–]BeenCalledLazy1ce40 points41 points  (9 children) | Copy

Finally some sensibility.. OP , listen to this.

Also people should keep in mind in thirds world countries, people just dont do hookups . They date to marry.

[–]PurpleRose32820 points21 points  (5 children) | Copy

I'm from a 3rd world country and can indeed confirm this.

[–]NickA970 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I'm assuming you don't go out that much.

I'm from a third world country as well and people fuck around like mad rabbits. We're not living in some anachronic, Medieval fantasy. Times have changed over here too.

[–]clausternn1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Or maybe he's just from a different developing country than yours?

I've been to several developing countries and there are both types of girls in many of them.

Asia tends to have many "date to marry" girls, while Latin American and specially Brazil has an overwhelming hookup/cheating culture.

[–]NickA970 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah, maybe, but still it's not a general phenomenon and people are adapting to globalization very fast. It also depends on where in the country you are, whether in the center or the periphery.

I didn't think about Asia though, my bad. Maybe they're much more conservative over there. I always associate "third world" with South and Central America.

Brazil has an overwhelming hookup/cheating culture.

Haha no doubt. I lived there for a while and I was impressed by how casual they are about sex and relationships.

[–]clausternn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whereabouts did you live? I lived in Porto Alegre for quite some time.

I see in your profile that you seem to be Colombian. Are they not that casual about sex and relationships over there?

To be honest, Colombia is one of the places that I want to visit the most. Specially since I heard they like blond white Americans over there lmao. People talk about Brazilian women, but to me Colombian women are the most beautiful in the world. One time I changed my Tinder location to Medellin just for fun, and dear lord...

[–]beginner_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Also people should keep in mind in thirds world countries, people just dont do hookups . They date to marry.

And? Your live, your choice. marriage is a dumb idea but be clear and direct about it that it will never happen. That maybe was OPs fault.

[–]Walkerstain0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't get it, why? Because it provides more stability for ones life since everyone is poor or something like that?

[–]ders8932 points33 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah i agree with you 100%. Dude still is a beta if he cant tell her how he feels and might instead marry her because of it. An alpha would straight up be honest and say he doesnt feel the same and would rather be with someone more attractive in his eyes.

Shes loyal, honest, caring, compassionate and empathetic person that stuck by a guy in his worst years and encouraged him to do better. Meanwhile beta fuck over here cheated, cried about shit and cant tell a single truth to her. And is now asking strangers on the internet what he should do.

Grow a pair and leave her to someone who deserves an LTR.

Do the alpha move for once and tell her you want someone more attractive and youre sorry for wasting her time. Pretty simple solution.

[–]beginner_7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

An alpha would straight up be honest and say he doesnt feel the same and would rather be with someone more attractive in his eyes.

I disagree. Yes he would separate but not tell her she is ugly. Being honest is often the wrong thing to do. Speak womanese. "it doesn't feel right anymore.you have lived apart". blabla.

[–]ders899 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah youre right. Being honest doesnt mean you have to be rude. My fault on that one

[–]bishop_larue4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Glad someone said it.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. Logically she may not be as hot, but it sounds like she is hot enough. And if OP is hot, they should have decently good looking children. With that and having an amazing mom which she sounds like she will be and a successful father. Those children have a high chance of success themselves. Which is really the end goal.

[–]mrbill123420 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you want to get married at all - ever - then you may as well take someone who has been loyal - assuming of course she will remain loyal. Sure you could do better looks wise - but you will find it difficult in your profession to find an 8+ female who knows she's an 8+ and not a gold digger.

If you can find someone better who has the same prospects as yourself (another doctor for instance), then you may have less to lose in case the marriage goes downhill and ends in divorce.

This is all of course assuming you WANT to get married. Your best bet is to just not get married at all.

[–]VinterBot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

assuming of course she will remain loyal.

Which rule was "always plan ahead"? Cause you have to assume she might cheat with a 9 inch midget.

If you can find someone better who has the same prospects as yourself (another doctor for instance), then you may have less to lose in case the marriage goes downhill and ends in divorce.

BBS.

[–]mechcoder59812 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

She did a lot for you man. Yes, I agree its not enough to get married as you have to want it too. The right thing to do would be to be honest with her. Tell her you don’t see each other getting married. But if you are just doing this just because you are scared that what will society think that you are an 8 that ended up with a 6 then you my friend are a blue-pilled beta who cares too much about the world. But if you have no intentions to marry her then let her go.

[–]br0j1tsu50 points51 points  (9 children) | Copy

She's in her epiphany phase, I'd say don't get married, but then again, you're invested into the relationship, do whatever the hell you want just have in mind that you're about to jump from a plane and there's a 50% chance your chute is not going to open.

[–]unnaturalcontrol11 points12 points  (8 children) | Copy

I know that stat is true for USA but is that stat true for 3rd world countries?

[–]FrontloadPain0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Yes

[–]iteal4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

No

[–]FrontloadPain-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Your upvotes show how little people on here understand basic principles. Yes divorce laws differ as does sacularity. But the basic principles of women do not change period, as such my "yes" is more valid than your "no" which would be more of a "no, only in very certain circumstances".

[–]iteal1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

To be honest I have no idea about the statistics. I just wanted to show that only answering such a question with "yes" or in my case "no" is simply stupid. It's an empty answer. I agree, that basic principles of women don't change depending on the country. But you cannot tell me that western society doesn't encourage divorce more than some 3rd world country, where family pride and honor are much more present.

A quick search showed that people marry more often and divorce less than in african countries: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1728-4457.2015.00086.x

[–]FrontloadPain0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, Western society does that indeed lmao, I'd be the last one to deny that

[–]Neyjuve0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It depends. Divorce laws are not enforced so harshly in most third world countries. The rule of law is weak.

[–]alikebabay-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck yes

[–]skorpion777731 points32 points  (2 children) | Copy

You don't owe her anything. But as far as I can see you still want to be with her and want kids together. Imo a good way to go about it is to tell her you don't want to involve a third party (the government) into your relationship. Tell her you're still into her and like to have kids, but it was never your intention to get married (you can be honest in that regard). You'll save your assets and minimize the risk an ugly divorce. If she tries to pressure you into marriage that is a red flag and you should seriously think if your having a future together.

[–]DarkJayBR5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Actually, in most states there is the concept of "Stable Union" for couples that are not married but live together and have kids. It still counts as a marriage in the eyes of the law.

[–]Black_Jesup7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

No matter who you wind up with, looks will fade. Character usually doesn’t. She sounds like marriage material, but you will have to decide if a more worthwhile package remains for you out there. Her proven loyalty for you is something to seriously consider.

[–]empatheticapathetic45 points46 points  (11 children) | Copy

You’re 6’4 and you were a medical prospect. Any sensible girl would hold onto you. Now you’ve blossomed.

Women drop men all the time without a second thought. You hold all the power here. Call the shots and she can stay or go. Marriage is off the table though.

[–]Nergaal1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy

you read the entire post?

[–]empatheticapathetic1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy

Yeah. Why.

[–]bearholdingbeer4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy

Women drop men all the time without a second thought

Women also suck strangers dick in the club without a second thought, should OP do the same? Is this what OP should be doing right now, behave as a woman does? That's why men should give his life situation a second thought and decide based on that what's actually valuable for him and his future

[–]empatheticapathetic-1 points0 points  (7 children) | Copy

What’s incorrect about what I said? Did I say he should suck dick in a club? No I implied he shouldn’t let guilt stop him from dropping her if he decides it’s a good decision. Match her behaviour towards relationships at the very least and understand that if he was 5’8 and not a medical prospect, she may not have stayed with him.

He has all the power and can call any shot he wants. If he decides she has value and wants to keep her he can. It’s his decision to make, not hers.

The post was written with an element of fear and anxiety. First step is understanding where he stands in the relationship and making a logical self interested choice without anything clouding his mind.

Make sense?

[–]bearholdingbeer1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

All you did was stating the obvious and telling us that OP has got all the power now, but OP already knows all of that and he cannot call the shot because he's not sure of the outcome, that's what this thread is about, about his question on whether leave the girl or stay with her now that he is in the position of strength.

[–]empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

So you’re proposing a scarcity mindset? What good will that do him? If she leaves because he wants to call the shots then let her leave, he’s better off. Anything except that is not a redpill mindset. Have you read the sidebar? Did you read briffaults law? Do you understand what the purpose of that article is? If not, please go read it before replying.

[–]bearholdingbeer0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

1) I didn't propose anything 2) OP is too beta/scared already to decide and that's why the question was asked and thread made 3) Briffaults law didn't apply for this woman in particular as you may understand in OPs text of how low in life he has been and she's still loyal to him

[–]empatheticapathetic1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

  1. Then what is your point at all?
  2. Yeah and I’m here to give him some great advice.
  3. And in my comment, actually two comments now, I have pointed out that, in my opinion, due to briffaults law, she hung onto him. Hell even if he was a 6’4 janitor she’d have held on to him. But a 6’4 guy with some sort of medical future? She ain’t going nowhere. I have tall friends with zero career aspirations who have girls clinging to them for years even though they are beta AF.

Her loyalty can be explained away easily. Don’t be such a fool to think any nAWALT shit. Otherwise why are you on this sub?

Briffaults law applies to all women because AWALT. And I’m saying he should think about how briffaults law applies for him now. She’s had her use, if he wants to keep her in some capacity go for it, but do it for the right reasons, and not under some blue pill illusion that he or she is special.

[–]bearholdingbeer1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

My point is that your advice to OP was to behave like a woman and dump her just because he could do better now, without giving a second thought about future with her. You're giving him a bluepill that he could do ONLY better from now on because he's "blossomed" and any sensible girl would hold onto him, sure they would, he raised his SMV from fat fuck without any career aspirations to absolute macho who owns his shit, that doesn't mean there isn't someone with even higher SMV than he is. Now he can go and fuck every roastie in the world but that doesn't mean he should necessary do that. OP said he's thinking about kids and family and she proved absolute loyalty and submission to him, that's why top upvoted advice here is to consider what's important for him not just dumping her ass asap. You follow TRP rules so blindly that you cannot make a decision on your own based on how people treated you when you were deep in shit. What Iam saying is that you're that kind of girlfriend telling your bestie that she should dump her boyfriend for a Chad because she deserves better. Men actually do value loyalty, women don't.

Again, you're telling me about Briffaults law and how it applies for him now, it still does, if he values her loyalty and dedication for him and their relationship then he should continue the relationship and breed children with her (which apparently doesn't since he dumped her). Don't fool yourself with AWALT rule, it is used so men don't fool themselves with oneitis and unicorn girls. Iam not staying this one is, but she already proved herself as a worthy to be considered as. I cannot help myself but think of you as some fanatic of TRP without any sense of your own decision-making aside from sidebar, TRP can only show you the way, you gotta walk it yourself, thats why MGTOW.

[–]TantalizingGrapfruit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He wasn't a medical prospect when they met. So she in no way was acting like you're suggesting she did or suggesting OP should. Flacid fucking argument.

[–]Vitamin_ABCDE21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

You have no abundance and you feel pressured into marrying this girl because you think you owe it to her.

What do you have to gain from this, aside from appeasing her? Maybe you think it's "heartless" to reject her now when she was there when you needed support the most, but marriage is a really big ask and sometimes you have to be heartless to have a happy life.

You've probably thought long and hard about this; if you have any doubts whatsoever, don't do it. There's a lot that could go wrong.

Only get married if you really want to and understand all the pros and cons associated.

[–]vondoom90030 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dodge your best years are incoming!!! Hers are behind her. This is a classic trap.

[–]Roto2esdios10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think you are testing TRP community. You are a genious!

[–]throwaway261800810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. It was lots of fun reading the comments

[–]MrSlommy75 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gonna repeat what everyone else has said by saying you don't owe her. But you need to evaluate what's best for you. Can you see yourself in a marriage with this woman? If marriage something you want? Or perhaps the single live is for you? She's sounds like a decent woman, but you need to weight out both options and make a decision from there. Either way, keep things real with her. Sounds like she stuck by your even at your worst times and she at the very least deserves respect for that.

Good luck bro

[–]MagnumBurrito11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

She sounds like a fine woman. Too bad she's not better looking.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

She sounds like a fine woman. Too bad she's not better looking.

If she was better looking, she wouldn't be such a fine women.

[–]Nergaal0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

yeah, the only good looking fine women I met were ugly ducklings in their best years.

[–]PayneGreyWolf7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't kid yourself, you're still a beta. You're just a beta with a good job and low body fat now but the fact you can't straight up tell her how you feel demonstrates beta behavior. Second, this girl has given you her unwavering loyalty, stability, and from the sound of it, you wouldn't be where you are now without her but you're want to give that all up for a hotter piece of ass. RP is about sexual strategy and maximizing your efficiency but it this girl sounds like a keeper. Especially if children you want in your future, this girl offers you intangible things that are very rare today. And this might be immoral but since you've already done it, why not go out and get a piece of ass once in awhile. But otherwise if you chose to leave her I can totally see you being a beta male provider that ends up getting played hard and divorced + sucked dry for alimony.

Being alpha isn't just looking good and having a high paying job. That's just looking the part. It's in how you think.

[–]redbananaboard3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why are we even discussing this? You don't owe her shit. You gotta do what you gotta do. A man should never go against his desires and needs.

You don't like her anymore? Let her go. Don't wanna marry her? Don't do it. Nothing will happen man. She'll move on and so do you. That's life, and in a year you won't give a fuck if you truly embraced RP principles. Cut that BP moral self-sabotage, go get whatever the fuck you want from life.

I know you want to do the "honorable" thing but It will explode in your face in a few years.

[–]TantalizingGrapfruit1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

So many guys bitching about how women don't know honor or loyalty (the supposed male virtues?) acting just like the shitty people they call emotionally driven teenagers. You ain't above no woman, you ain't more rational than no woman, and you sure as hell ain't more capable of male virtues than women. Tell me more about how women are the hypergamous ones

[–]redbananaboard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think you bring interesting ideas but I feel I'm missing your point. So under the logic you present, OP should do something he clearly feels would make him unhappy in the name of a moral imperative? Like we males need to always do the honorable thing according to whatever moral code we attach ourselves to?

[–]thetotalpackage72 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She sounds like a good person and has been proved to be loyal to you and treat you right. But I agree that no one wants to marry a hog. Is there anything you can help or encourage her to do to pull up her SMV to at least a 7-8? If she's fat, with bad hair, crooked teeth and bad skin...these things can be fixed. Won't be easy but maybe she's worth it?

[–]Nergaal3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Do you want kids? If yes, this person seems like would make for a great mother. Now in the country where you live, do you realistically have a good chance of finding at least a similarly good mother for your kids in the near future? This might be the closest thing you will ever encounter to a real-life unicorn.

Plus, keep in mind that with a history like yours, it is very likely for the depression to come back when something hits you in the face. Do you think you are ready to actually do that alone? People in this sub seem to have a very shallow understanding of chronic depression.

[–]throwaway261800812 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

As good mother for my kids ? Probably

Someone as loyal as her ? Very low chance.

[–]TantalizingGrapfruit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So then marry a woman who's going to cheat like you do

[–]RileysRevenge0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is a great point. OP stated that he wants “like 10 kids”.

OP, do you think you’ll seriously be able to make the same decisions that have made you this fit and active when you’ve got 10 kids?

Kids are great, but you’ve got to be realistic about the amount of time and money it takes to care for them and ensure they’re not shitty people by the time they hit 18y/o.

Even after having 1 kid, most parents report having zero free time left, pretty much for the foreseeable future until the kids move out of the house as adults. Having 10 kids?

It’s estimated that having a child costs near $1M these days to raise to 18y/o. Even if it were half that, at 10 kids your medical salary will feel like minimum wage income.

All these things considered- what are the odds you’ll still be able to work out and eat healthily like you’ve been doing? Ever see people after having kids? 9/10 put on serious weight.

I’m not saying don’t have kids, do have kids if that’s what you want, but be realistic about how your life is going to change. All these things will likely happen even if you marry a 10. Kids are kids.

Also, for the love of god, if you do decide to marry get a prenup drafted by a lawyer and have her lawyer and yours sign it together.

[–]Kkiy0M2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Look at all she did you for you. There is no way you can guarantee that the next girl who comes along will even do half of that. That is very, very rare. True love isn’t as expedient as looks and lust. It’s much deeper, and that is what is fulfils a marriage. Even then, looks fade. The next woman, will also sooner or later hit the wall. A lot of men, even in this sub, are unhappily resigned to bangin 9’s and 10’s all the while hanging onto a glimmer of hope that they might one day come across a woman with strong morals they can have a family and kids with. They’d change their position for yours in a heartbeat.

If you choose to leave her and get with someone else, you may very well heavily regret that decision in the future, perhaps when the next girls looks also fade, or when you find no one as down for you as her, or if she divorces you and claims all your money..And there are no do-overs in life.

And how would you know? As you say, your SMV is high now, there’s no struggle or test you could subject another girl to in order to determine whether she’d take advantage of you later on or not. My advice? Finding a worthy woman to spend life with is rare nowadays, stick with the woman by your side. The grass is not always greener on the other side, you can find out the easy way or the hard way. You could wake up in 10 years, regretful of your insatiable lust, and be willing to trade the most beautiful face and body for the loyalty in her heart, the heart of a dedicated, dutiful and reliable wife, but be unable to do so.

[–]Andrew543212 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop. Right. There.

The question you should be asking is will this woman make a good mother? Will you and her make good parents?

This determines whether or not you marry.

If possible, impregnate but not marry but from the sounds of it you don’t have the frame to pull this off.

[–]2319Skew2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

TRP is not a place to find morality and I'll adhere to that.

Don't marry her. You mention every reason to stay other than attraction. That's important. I feel like you are trying to rationalize your decision based on the "she stood by you" and while that's honorable it's not enough.

I'm talking from experience here but it just hurts that much more when hypergamy kicks in and she realizes that she can dictate your life due to matrimonial obligations or having a kid.

Maybe it's different in other places in the world but we're not talking about women back in the 20s but women who are bombarded with social media, globalization and feminism.

Marriage is Red pill on hard mode.

Wish you luck on your decision.

[–]hakoonamatata92 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've seen somany posts shitting on women for monkey branching and dumping the guy who helped them through difficult times just so she can go find someone better/richer.

You are no better than them. Not saying you should have married her, but I hope you understand you are no different than a monkey branching gold digger. I.e. selfish, naive and immature.

[–]Rkingpin6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dont ask internet guys for help making a life-changing decision.

All that must be said is do the math. Ask yourself if you will truly be happy settling with this woman for the rest of your life?

Or will you continue to wonder if the grass is greener on the other side?

Marrying a woman below your SMV is a good way to make sure the relationship stays relatively stable, however guys like us rarely settle for less

[–]FinancialThanks17 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

You don’t owe her anything. If you don’t want to marry her then don’t. I’d consider it though

[–]empatheticapathetic2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t get married bruh

[–]abomba240 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would certainly not recommend marrying her if this is how he is feeling

[–]RedSkeller3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Writing is on the wall so to speak. She knows she's in decline and you're on the rise, time to latch on and ride it out. You need to decide if you want to do this, and if you have even the slightest pit in your stomach about it then you know it's a bad idea.

[–]McVaghunter11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

She provided you with pussy back when you had none, the only thing you owe her is some dick whenever she's feening it. Nothing more.

Your morals are just chemical reactions in your brain.

[–]Jaganshi931 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Too old. Fuck her and thats it

[–]strainer1231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man thats a tough one, she's been by your side all these years, supported you, on the moral side of it, you owe her, but you can't be forced to marry someone you don't want to, you don't see yourself getting her pregnant? If you don't, you need to be honest with her, its going to crush this poor woman, you might find someone close to your SMV, and she might be a cheating bitch, what I find amazing here is that she's a 5.5 while you're an 8-9, and she's DEMANDING you marry her, thats ludicrous, maybe her ego is pretty inflated too.

[–]damaged_goods4201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

At the very least you owe her your respect as far as I see it. That doesn't mean you're forced to stay with her, as that would be silly if you're absolutely not going to be happy and it would have an impact on your life.

I believe I can do much better, and I love her, I am not in love with her, but I truly love her.

Honestly mate, it sounds like you know what you have to do. It sucks, best of luck.

[–]Snowaey1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro, youre approaching your PRIME, if you dont love the girl, you shouldnt feel pressured to marry her even though you might feel like shit for it, trust me, you will thank yourself later.

You only have one life to live brother, don't waste your prime years on something you dont feel comfortable with.

[–]MajorMid1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read this post the other way around. You and the entire sub would be going crazy about branch swinging and hypergamy. That's what you are doing right now

[–]SpinPlates1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Spend your life with her and raise a family together.

But never sign a contract.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't. She will never be yours it's just your turn😎

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you were a virgin before marriage, don't marry a roastie.it will be on hell on earth for you I promise

[–]__TheDon__1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who has the original post?

[–]Zanford1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No need to break up. You could just explain that you want to stay together but not be married on paper. Up to you what reasons you give (you could explicitly bring up alimony / divorce rape etc., or not), and he can take it or leave it.

[–]tyronethejabrone1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

(In response to updates)

And that’s the waaaaaaayyy it goes

[–]OfficerWade2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude if she fits in your life, when you were nothing with nobody it would be a sin if you didn’t reach out to her with your job and career.

[–]Don_Draper272 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I broke up with an LTR of 5 years because she wanted to get married and I didn't. She's not married yet but she's with someone who's better aligned with her. She always loved traveling and never being home and I'm the opposite so at least now we're both happier and we're both with people who are better suited for us.

In my current LTR, while I was vetting and plating, I told her that I didn't want to get married and she chose to become exclusive with me anyway.

With that said, I would have an honest talk with your LTR and tell her that you don't want to get married. It should be a "It's not you, it's me" angle. Tell her that she deserves to be married and be with someone who wants to be married with her. By ending the relationship you're giving her the time and energy to go and find what she wants and likewise for yourself, you can focus more on your career or find someone better aligned with you.

Also, I do believe that if the tables were turned and a man was the one who was supporting his LTR for years and helping her rise up, she would only feel guilty for a second before dumping him for someone better. It sucks that men are the romantic ones and we have a much louder conscious.

[–]shouldergirdle3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exact same thing happened to me 30 years ago. I was low SMV beta, she was a 5 SMV. I was just starting my career and she was aging out. She really wanted to get married, so we did. Overall she was a good woman, a good wife and a good mother. We have had a good life together. My SMV continued to rise, hers plunged. If I were to do it over again this is what I would do:

  1. Don't get her pregnant!!!!
  2. Don't get married!!!!!!!!!
  3. Keep improving your SMV and wealth. Spin plates until age 45. Then, if you want to settle down find a 24yr old at that time.

All men have a strong sense of loyalty and appreciation. She has treated you well and your loyalty is kicking in and you want to reward her for sticking by you when you were nothing. But, it's a trap. Don't fall for it. Break up with her. Do it quickly, like ripping off a bandaide. It will hurt but you will get over it. This is your only life. To achieve happiness you MUST live for yourself. Living for others WILL make you miserable.

[–]abomba241 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Rough as this is, you are caring too much about her feelings and not prioritizing your own. She saw the potential in you and got behind it, even if you didn't. She thinks she's owed something. No.

It's your life. No "trying to make her dump you" - you make the decision. This sounds easy to me that you clearly are not that into her. Given your history, the most that you might owe her is describing that you're heart is not in this rather than just ghosting or something.

[–]Serniebanders691 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, don't marry her she deserves a real man. Not a weak ass cuck who can't even stay committed to a good girl.

[–]throwaway26180081-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sure, I am the weak ass, have you looked yourself at the mirror?

[–]Serniebanders691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My point proven. Gotcha bitch.

[–]conk20000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

All I am gonna say is that a modern marriage license is a contract between three parties: man, woman, state. And the state is biased to side with the woman.

[–]dubznwobz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She doesn't love you how you love her.

[–]6times6660 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t get married man. Become established in your career and you’ll have your pick of women trust me.

[–]PhaedrusHunt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It sounds like you're letting guilt dictate your life.

Don't let guilt dictate your life.

[–]lolomotif120 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It sounds to me like you are in love with what she has done for you which is; been loyal and supportive. You now know you can do better looks wise even thou looks are not permanent remember that her looks will only get worse with time. So if you find her a sub 5 now think of what you will think of her in 10 years time. You will need to wake up next to this person for the rest of your life and marriage is a big commitment and a risky business. Dont get into a risky business if you're not confident in the business. You owe her nothing. The fact that you need to make a post like this about her wanting to marry you proves you have doubts. Dont do it. Be honest to her and move on.

[–]PurpleRose3280 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Looks can be a major factor especially when it comes to attraction but it seems to me like there are other stuff going on with you hence the hesitation. I truly believe that you have something you need to figure out in yourself first before dealing with this. Because once you've faced whatever it is, I'm sure you'll find the answer you're looking for.

I apologize if it's vague but a lot of people already gave advices about this and I don't want to tell you to do something I don't know the full details of. And besides, just like what others said, this is a major decision. Only you can figure out what you should do because you're the only one who can own up the consequences of whatever action you'll take.

[–]markar_30 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I dont need to read the long story... If you re not ready dont do it.... if you feel like you might never get a chance with another woman then this is also a wrong reason... This is a commitment to yourself not to her... You owe her gratitude but not you future

[–]sstidman[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's you really care about her then you need to look at this from her perspective....is it a good idea for her to marry someone who is not in love with her and spends the rest of his life wishing he was with someone else? If you truly care about her then you have to let her go. I think you are worried too much about hurting her feelings in the short term but not really thinking about how much you will hurt her in the long term by marrying her.

[–]ng079770 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't know what's wrong with some of the posters here saying you don't owe her "anything" - does your definition of masculinity preclude you from expressing gratitude? She believed in you when you and built you up when you didn't believe in yourself. That should mean something to a healthy human. I agree with the comments that say you owe her honesty for sure.

To be totally honest with her, you need to weigh up what you want out of life and see where she fits. If you want to bang 8's and 9's then it's not going to work out. If you want to marry and have kids with someone worships you, it sounds like you've got that.

[–]EraseUnaVez0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Getting some gender swap shenanigans vibes here, mostly because that's something a woman would do, on the other hand if this is true, just the way you wrote it, damn man, that's some shitty thinking.

[–]fartt1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

why do you have to marry her unless you believe in religion? you could have children. you could give her a ring but explain that you can't marry her cause that would be destructive to you and your finances. Now if you do decide talk on it don't back pedal on your words, figure out what you want and stick to it. dont go off course!

[–]rockyp320 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Could u upgrade her SMV? U said she had a great face if u motivate her to get in great shape and build up her booty that might satisfy what ur looking for. Also another thing to consider is youll both be wrinkly old and ugly eventually

[–]HB32340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Keep the girl with a heart of gold. Get her some cosmetology classes and a personal trainer, most 9s and 10s are 5s with a good hairdresser and a vanity full of makeup.

[–]pdiggs15000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Tough call mate. If the sexes were reversed, this would be on a MGTOW post, saying AWALT.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like an awesome woman. Would make a great mom, and you two would have rad children.

Definitely honesty is the best policy.

In the perfect world, I would shoot for having a multiwoman relationship, where this is your primary girl who heads the household, and does most of the direction for child rearing, and you have some other attractive wives and girlfriends.

[–]MeansToABenz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I say do it. It sounds like you have already made up your mind.

[–]Spaghetti17760 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Gonna end in divorce if your value is that much higher than hers and you’re already aware you aren’t in love with her.

At the same time though, leaving a good girl will probably scar you. There’s a few girls I’ve broken up with that I still think of at least once a week. Ultimately you have to do what you think will be best for you and your potential family in the long term,

[–]SoulRebel990 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Epiphany Phase. If you wont, it likely could end the relationship.

[–]RileysRevenge0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I just want to say for anyone reading this post, if you’re going to be in a LTR, be honest from the start about your intensions. Cheating is a shitty thing to do, male or female. Let’s be adults and be honest about our desires from the beginning. Tell your significant other that you like the idea of an LTR but that the idea of monogamy is unrealistic at best. The amount of cheating that people do is insane, immoral, dishonest, and ultimately weak and beta AF.

Alphas stick to their word and don’t compromise their morals. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Hold yourself accountable and live your life accordingly. Don’t lie, deceive, cheat, or steal. Real men don’t do those things.

Also as I said before, IF you decide to marry, have a lawyer write a prenup and have her lawyer and yours present when signing. Make sure it’s water-tight.

[–]LilLoserFreny0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

With all due respect I would tell her to fuck off. She clearly doesn’t care about you much if she wants you to get married to her in this day and age.

[–]DinduNuffin330 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Mate she's been with you always at your worst, and even that now you consider yourself "better" than her, I'd say forget the numbers and all that shit. This is a woman that was with you always and its only natural she maybe if feeling more insecure now that you've achieved more and wants to settle and get married. If you love this woman then go ahead and do what you feel is best. Do not make your decision based on advice on reddit from people who can't fully understand the context. Forget the outer looks and look whether this is a person you'd wanna make a family with. You're a 9 now but you will get older as will she, you might leave her to fuck around with hotter chicks but don't forget that these hotter chicks wouldn't even look at you when you were at your lowest. Trust your gut feeling.

[–]rejjiesnortssnow0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You either have to marry her or leave her, otherwise you are potentially jeprodisring her fertility. And i wouldn’t marry her if you were already having second thoughts. Also bare in mind grass is always greener, you might back yourself but when you go back to being single after so long you may not like it, and want to go back to her. Basically either shit or get off the bog.

[–]redrocketred90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do what you want just remember this, it's your fault if she leaves you/cheats on you, ect.

Women aren't like men, they will mold to a man's image/frame if she thinks hes an "alpha". Good girls becomes dirty sluts, sluts will pretend to be the sweetest girl in the world if that's what it takes to get with an alpha. She's on her best behaviour if you slip up with her she's going to be your 6/10 nightmare wife with your kids just like it would be with any other girl.

If I where you I'd get more practice/frame and mold a hot bitch to wife up. That's just me tho

And unicorns don't exist, get that through your skull guys. Good luck bro

[–]GGrub80 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You don't need a marriage contract to live a life with her and she doesn't need it either.

If she values that contract above you as a person, above your love, then she's starting to show her true colors, especially now that the wall is approaching.

Put your foot down and refuse to marry her. If your commitment isn't enough and she leaves you then you'll be better off without her.

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The TRUE test of a woman is what happen when you are down - she honestly sounds like a keeper - think about it - There are more important things than looks and loyalty IS one of them - she is better than a better looking girl with less of a connection

[–]throwaway261800811 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well that ship just sailed

[–]Emery820 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude if youre having doubts now, you will definitely regret it later.

[–]Haytch12340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stay with her. Fuck girls on the side. You have leverage. Use it. She benefits by your status and stable income.

[–]Pristine_Sheepherder0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Anyone have a copy of the thread before OP edited and the top comments got deleted?

[–]throwaway261800811 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

"Hello everyone, throwaway for obvious reasons. My (27) girlfriend (28) is asking, or better say requesting, that I marry her. If it was another case, or other person I would show her the door, but it isn't, and here's the long story.

I am from third world country, when I finished HS got into Uni, in field related to medicine, but not the medicine (think radiological technologies, nursing, lab, physio) because my parents forced me to go there but not the medicine. There I meet this 5'7'' girl who was 6 really. nice face but nothing to stand out. Then I had 310lbs at my worst, while I was 6'4''. While I had height and kinda nice face for fat fuck there is no chance I was over 3-3.5. I was Billy beta, no doubt.

We started dating and she was really nice to me, when I decided to study medicine (6 years) she fully supported me and told me how I deserve it and how should I go for it, and shit like that. She helped me even put arguments to my parents. I got into medicine and that was going fine until my Grandpa died, the man I loved the most, and I was fucking depressed and cried many times on her shoulder. After that I hit rough patch and was on verge of suicide, but she helped me go through that. We always hung out somewhere cheap or free because I never had money and really was not into her paying for shit, even though she always offered.

In my third year of medicine I decided it's time to stop overeating and all that shit, as much as I did that for myself, I did it for her too. I hit the gym, always used to do MMA, now did it more, lost over 50 kg, now I have 100kg, at 11% body fat. When I started skipping meals, and working out a lot more, I told her I did it for her as well and she always said shit like "You don't have to", "I love you either way". In my 4th year she got professional job and nice pay, she bought me stuff, even though I couldn't reciprocate.

I finished med school last year, got paid cardiology residence in the best hospital in the country, and I am the shit, I look good, I am very appreciated in my field and people are projecting me good career, I did some amazing stuff and award-winning researches.

But my gf now asked me to marry her, and shit I get that, she is getting older, and we both want children, she had job, I've got job. But here's the thing, I know I am now, today 8 or 9, with nice SMV, and she is 5.5 who is approaching the wall, and if it was anyone else I would told her to gtfo, but she was always here for me, she never cheated on me (although even when I was the most beta I've always told her:"If you think you could do better, go"). I did fuck other girls, but it's only that. I don't know how to put it into words, I believe I can do much better, and I love her, I am not in love with her, but I truly love her. Last year I tried to make her dump me, but it's not happening.

TL:DR girl was with me when I was 3.5 and nobody and she was 6, supported me all the time, now I am 9 with good career and she is asking me to marry her."

[–]BigSchl0ng690 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Holy shit. You're fucking garbage.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]BigSchl0ng690 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You need to make up better insults you fucking cum stain.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]BigSchl0ng69-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

First of all, please enlighten me how I'm a ''soyboy'' Second, reading your post history I have discovered that you're a pathetic, sad and pitiful braggart who seems to believe that the world is somehow entitled to you. You obviously don't see women as individuals but rather as a means to an end. Btw, you're claim that you bang around 50 girls is a sad and miserable lie. I know that we all like to play the tough guy online and make outrages claims, but you seem to be deluded to an extent. Frankly people like you have become a parody. There's nothing more funnier than watching people like you.

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

How often do you fuck?

[–]throwaway261800810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

2 of us ? Varies between 5-10 times a week.

[–]ArnoldT10000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In response to the update:

Yep, exactly. Too many of this fuckers in the replies have a scarcity mindset. Your way or the highway.

It’s actually scary how many dudes question the theory in face of a unicorn. The game doesn’t change.

[–]NickA970 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I lived for a few months in a town one hour away from Rio.

People do have lots of casual sex in Colombia, but the culture is much more openly conservative, so it still is frowned upon. You're right though, your status over here would be stratospheric just based on your nationality. I find that a bit silly, but hey, you'd be my competition so I have my reasons haha. Plus you're something new to them, and if I saw a Ukranian volleyball player walking around I'd feel some tingling around my netherparts as well lol.

You should definitely come bro, it's male heaven over here. I wouldn't trade Latinas for anything.

[–]ViolentInteger0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't bother reading most of this post, because the details don't matter. What does matter are these two points:

  • Marriage is horse shit.
  • You should never do anything only because someone else wants you to.

I also spotted these gems in your text:

she is 5.5 who is approaching the wall [...] I believe I can do much better [...] Last year I tried to make her dump me

Sounds like she's not even LTR material, but you're too much of a pussy to end it.

Start reading and mastering the sidebar. You have a LOT to learn about the basics...

[–]JoJ420 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

you are a disgusting human being, you belive you are a 8 but your personality and your mind is a ZERO

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]throwaway261800810 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

As much as beta I may be, I am not an idiot. My dad pointed out the way for me how to go away with everything in a divorce. He is something like DA in the USA

[–]-TempestofChaos-0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Do deliver as to that one please

[–]throwaway26180081-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Basically I transfer money to him, he buys what I want and then gifts it to me, that way even though house, car or whatever is on my name it isn't marital property, but it's rather seen as my private property, even though I obtained it during marriage. At least that's how he roughly explained it to me, not sure how that would go in the USA or other countries

[–]Throw-Me-Away-1120 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

i seriously hate when people post then fuck off and never comment. Dude its simple. obviously shes a great person and you dont want to marry her.

honesty goes a long way and you should honestly tell her. say "hey im not feeling so into you anymore. i know we have been really great together. you are an amazing friend (say best if you want extra points) and id like for us to keep being friends for the rest of our lives. i know itll be hard but im committed to keeping things peaceful and continuing our awesome relationship as friends."

break up with her, stay friends, fuck occasionally. 👍

[–]throwaway261800812 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't fuck off, I had things to do

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

this is why i feel like when i settle down she's gotta be a really good looking girl and natural looking too.

cos looks fade and i need her to stay above a 6 till i'm atleast 60.

[–]damaged_goods4200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You did what you had to do.

[–]dalia-chan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you so much!!! 😊 When I was 19 I dumped my boyfriend cause he was a broke student who asked me to believe in him, for a richer man who’s now spoiling me. Your post confirmed that I did the right choice by not giving my prime years to this looser and cheering him up, since he will turn out to be an I grateful jerk like most beta men. Now who’s the hypergamous? Lmao

[–]MrRoxo-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao posts here are become more and more ridiculous by the day.

This is copy pasta material

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]throwaway261800810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am all about the bad bitches now.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2021. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter