Why do I go through cycles of abundance?

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Fusionnn
November 18, 2019
86 upvotes
askTRP

For the past two weeks I was on a dry spell and I'm not sure exactly how to pinpoint it, but I didn't have any sex with any girls. Then this past week I fucked 4 new girls and my ex came back and I almost did her too but she had last minute resistance. I don't know how to explain it. How do I retain this abundance mentality in my day to day life. I feel so powerful when I have all these women chasing after me but they are gone as quick as they come.


Post Information
Title Why do I go through cycles of abundance?
Author Fusionnn
Upvotes 86
Comments 45
Date 18 November 2019 01:40 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/295642
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dxw7tt/why_do_i_go_through_cycles_of_abundance/
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abundancelast minute resistance
Comments

[–]69odin42088 points89 points  (8 children) | Copy

I have the same problem as you. I never consistently have an abundance of pussy but from time to time it feels like I do. I think knowing that you’re capable of having abundance (because you have had it) is almost as good as having abundance.

[–]Hungboy696942026 points27 points  (4 children) | Copy

Yes I agree and I was thinking about that last part earlier. Let's say you played a sport in college, division 1, so you're really good. After school, you may not play for a few years but In your mind, you were always better than 99% of people in your game. Since you got to that level, no one can take that from you and internally, you know you're great. Same thing with abundance

[–]boywonder20012 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

Eh, I think that is a good analogy to a point. But at some point, you're just lying to yourself. Billy Beta who is married in his early 30s might have had a few good runs in his early 20s. That doesn't change the fact that he now has super low SMV and couldn't pull pussy even if he tried his hardest.

But I do agree that people shouldn't be put off by small dry spells. For me, chicks always seem to come in 3s. This lasts a few months and then I either start dating one or they just fade off. I'm focusing on my career now and I really don't mind not having multiple plates right now.

[–]Hungboy69694200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh for sure. People can spot a has been. Don't be uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite

[–]69odin4203 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

And even if you take a few years off the sport and come back you will be pretty much as good as you were before.

[–]Hungboy69694202 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep exactly, it's all about getting to that level and understanding what having abundance means

[–]thrwy754799 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

[–]failingtheturingtest7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's why it's referred to as abundance mentality.

I don't need to see food on my plate to know I can easily get a meal when I need it. I also don't need to have pussy in front of me to know I can easily get laid if I want to.

[–]mickenrorty1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That plus your sleep, diet, routine, pleasure from work, and social circle all contribute to the aura you give off at any given moment.

[–]Tousen7153 points54 points  (12 children) | Copy

Abundance mindset isn’t affected by actual abundance. The idea is that you have the belief that whether you actively have girls or not, you can and will get more at your discretion.

[–]Fusionnn[S] 9 points10 points  (11 children) | Copy

So would you say what I have would be abundance mindset? Cause sometimes when I have a drought I start doubting myself and it makes me start acting needy and thirsty, then when my DGAF attitude comes back its like a switch

[–]Tousen7110 points11 points  (9 children) | Copy

Abundance mindset is to not be affected whether you have abundance or not. Michael Jordan and Kobe had bad games but they had enough belief in themselves that it didn’t affect them.

There was always the next game.

[–]Fusionnn[S] 7 points8 points  (8 children) | Copy

I always remind myself when I lose a girl that a new bus comes every 15 minutes lol

[–]MillionaireSexbomb4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

Your cycles come and go because you’re relying on external validation rather than validating yourself. It’s a long road to get there

[–]Fusionnn[S] -2 points-1 points  (5 children) | Copy

I've been hitting the gym like a madman and feeling confident in myself. I've gained about 20 lbs and went up from 125 to almost 150 now

[–]MillionaireSexbomb4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Thanks for sharing? You’re definitely not self validating yet.

[–]RanaMahal2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

got a little chuckle out of that lol. op clearly looking for validation externally and gets told not to do that and then op proceeds to say stuff for external validation haha

[–]Fusionnn[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Ya Im really bad about this. I've always been naturally skinny and I'm just proud of my gains I guess. I post gym selfies like a douche and David Goggins is my role model

[–]MillionaireSexbomb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s great that you’re improving. It’s also ok to be lifting because you want to be more attractive to women and be more dominant, as long as you’re doing it for you too. Anyone who says they only do it for themselves is a liar. It’s also acceptable to proud of what you’ve done, and to post gym selfies to flex on the plebs, but when you’re doing it because you want people to validate your efforts and that’s the only reason why you do it, there’s a large piece missing there. You sound pretty young, there’s a few things you can do here to help with your abundance mindset and that’s setting hard but achievable goals for yourself in different areas of interest and pushing yourself to live on the edge of what you believe you can do. Stick with that and keep growing the difficulty and you’ll find true abundance.

[–]Ill_mumble_that0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good job gaining weight fatass.

Now Stop being a needy sack.

"But i_m_t you just called me a fatass"

Did it make you feel bad that I called you a derogatory name? If so, that's whole your fucking problem. External influence on your inner frame.

Keep improving, fuck what anyone else thinks.

When you make a lot of money, do you feel need to brag? Fuck you, that's external validation.

When you bang a bunch of hoes, do you feel the need to brag? Fuck you, that's external validation.

When you hit the gym and have a 6 pack and 28" biceps, do you feel the need to post a selfie? Fuck you that's external validation. Post that shit on a grindr profile instead if you want male attention.

The opposite also applies when your life is in the shitter. But if you dont rely on external validation you probably have an abundance and hence aren't in the shitter to begin with.

[–]LordFa95 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't forget to read the book 10 to 15 times 😂

[–]BurnieSlander0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You can’t have abundance mentality if you are outcome-dependent.

When you have an abundance mentality, you don’t give two shits about the outcome of any one situation because you KNOW there are a million other opportunities in your future.

[–]carb0ncl1mber43 points44 points  (2 children) | Copy

It’s the ocean baby. It comes in waves. Don’t fight nature. Maximize the time the tide is out for other, more important shit. Build your sandcastle.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I love sandcastles!

[–]Standgrounding-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or rather, build something that lasts way longer than a sandcastle. Like muscle and career

[–]bluefingerblue10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Actual abundance comes and goes from time to time. Maybe you’re focused on your career/gym for a bit and let your women slip.

Thing is, once you attain actual abundance enough times, you realize you can always get more girls. It becomes more of a mentality than a reality.

Abundance mentality. Not abundance reality.

But it’s impossible to have a true abundance mentality until you have a true abundance reality. If that makes sense.

[–]kellykebab8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Maybe you should get more going on in your life than just fucking whores. A two week "dry spell" should not be a major cause for alarm unless you have a severe addiction.

[–]AncientDragons2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Amen. I have an acquaintance like this. 95% of his free time is spent chasing pussy. When he gets laid he acts like the gods have blessed him. If he didn’t get laid for a month he’d probably implode. His ego is closely coupled to how much dick sucky he is getting and it makes him look weak, rather than masculine and virile.

[–]RivenHalf4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

It comes in waves, nothing in life is consistent unless you make it consistent

Everyday you wake up that reset button gets pressed. It's a new day and a new start and each and everyday you have to go out and make it happen or it wont happen. Period.

It's your actions that will dictate your beginnings and endings.

[–]AncientDragons2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

“I feel so powerful when I have all these women chasing after me.”

How do you feel when they aren’t chasing? Powerless? If so, you have no abundance and you are relying on pussy to validate you. If you carry that mentality into a relationship you’re gonna get steamrolled and eaten alive by some chick.

Work on self-validation by setting goals, determining your life’s purpose, and being the best version of yourself. Pussy is not the main course of an abundant life. It’s merely a condiment.

[–]downvotesanimals3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Way of the road, bud.

[–]mustache_ride_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Full moon, your warewolf mojo kicked in.

[–][deleted]0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Im having this too. I just assume it’s a sign of my SMV improving (seeing as how I wasn’t getting anything before The Red Pill) but that still have a loooooooonnnggg road ahead of me in my journey of self improvement.

[–]RedSkeller0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve pondered a similar existence. The answer is everyone is going through peaks and valleys, it’s important to be aware of those moments and to utilize your time. A man who is confident in his skill set knows he can perform abilities but is only currently lacking opportunity. Once you realize you need to put more effort into generating leads or simply need to focus on yourself for a period is important.

[–]raoko0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You haven’t build the final framework for the level 99 fuckboy status. Once you reach the final level, then you will have the abundance. Stay thirsty my friend.

[–]uptimex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In fact, it is a matter of threshold. I have had recently a long period of professional development and 0 interaction with girls. And girls just faded away. After I reached some point of stability in work I initiated contact with one girl I liked and the same day appeared 2 girls who initated contact by themselves and the next 2 weeks they were falling on me like a hurricane. So when you have lack of girls just simply try to initiate contact with one of them and see what happens. I am not sure how it works exactly. But it feels like a threshold, when you pass it, everything restarts again.

[–]1XXXMersenne0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's to teach you to detach your sense of self from the pussy amount of you're getting.

highs & lows & highs & lows x275,000

after that you just can't be fucked for the status game anymore: Am I cool or am I a faggot already?! and retreat to centering your value in the core of your identity rather than bourgeois "masculinity" signifiers.

[–]BusterVadge0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Live goes in cycles. If you're wise you will use your dry spells to concentrate on other areas of your life.

[–]bradtwo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Neil Strauss wrote about this in his book The Game (worth reading for sure).

There has been a lot of studies (still no definitive answers though) on mating qualifications. One study was done with a male rodent (of some kind) which wasn't mating with other female species. After the researchers placed a fake rodent next to him, the other females came over and began interacting with the male.

The way it was explained by Neil, is that this is part of the "qualifiers" females tend to look for in a partner. That if they have already been "selected" by another female, there must be some desirable quality about them and that in among itself initiates some form of attractive.

I still personally believe there is something more about it. Whether it be our:

​

[1] attitudes when we already have a mate or multiple mates lined up and that we will come across more as harder to get/less interested which in turns makes the females in our lives want to try harder to get our attention (that is a whole psychological rabbit hole to theorize)

[2] OR Females give off some pheromones that on a deep psychological level other females can sense / pick up on and this triggers in their brain (deep down) that you are a suitable mate.

[3] the final thought is that these females would've come along no matter, and that since you are not looking for them, they "appear" to come from nowhere.

​

Who knows, might a combination of all three.

[–]EvelynnSpoiler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think we all do bud

[–]MasterRoshi210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When it rains, it pours. That's just life.

[–]The1ndex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think of it like seasons. Spring always comes after winter. After you have been around for a few years, you learn that spring will always come back, and that you don’t have to panic when winter sets in

[–]PhaedrusHunt0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I could just say lift and side bar but do you want an actual response?

It's a double-edged sword.

We all like female validation. But we all also realize we shouldn't be seeking female validation.

Be good with yourself, hold frame with yourself. When you do female validation comes as a natural byproduct, but that's just the cream.

The milk is being good with yourself.

So here is why when you're not getting validation from women you feel bad. You see that as a sign that you are not good with yourself, that there is no cream as a function of there being no milk.

Get it? So anytime you're upset that you don't have fish, go back and work on your boat.

When you see that you don't have any fish you think to yourself God damn my boat must suck.

Work on your boat.

[–]Fusionnn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stoicism philosophy is very appealing to me. I try to remind myself everyday "memento mori" and that everything I ultimately do is meaningless. I suppose that everything we do is a means to an end in one way or another. Ee are all mortal so I just try the best to be content with myself and living in the present moment

[–]GiraffeOnWheels-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ugh I am having a problem myself. I can always make the hottest girl in the room want me, but I don’t want to fuck. Sex with randos it’s just... benign.



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