If she doesn't fuck on the first date, you give her a second chance, but not third?

mickenrorty · 2019-11-18T16:38:22+00:00

[deleted]

Spaghetti1776 · 2019-11-18T18:17:09+00:00

Only wait past 3 for a virgin.

ZeppKfw · 2019-11-18T16:02:51+00:00

I think what they mean is that if they don't fuck on the first date = not a slut and if they don't fuck on the second date = she sees you as an orbiter and you should bounce.

Oh btw, just don't listen to what they say. You're a man and you do what you wanna do you're not someone's little bitch.

adriano515 · 2019-11-18T17:19:51+00:00

we can meet, but there's gonna be no sex

"We won't do anything you don't want to do" then proceed to escalate each time she reminds you of this, answer the same thing or a variation of it, just reinforce you're not having sex. Unless she absolutely says no, keep escalating.

Remember don't believe what women say watch how she behaves

bradtwo · 2019-11-18T16:29:09+00:00

Super common my man.

Your thought process might be a tad bit toxic in that you're thinking of your encounter with this person as a take-only approach.

IMO: Enjoy the date, look for clues that she is a person of good moral character (whatever that is, is defined by you alone), and go from there. If the NOT having sex on the first date is a deal breaker for you, then there is your answer. However, there is the highly likelihood that she isn't fucking anyone else on the first date as well.

Dating is all about both of you qualifying yourself to the other person. She may say there isn't going to be sex because she might be on her period (for real) and doesn't want to or simply she is saying it so there isn't any expectation she has to live up to.

What if you have really gnarly breath on the date and now she is expected to fuck you?

Just look for the typical signs :

How does the date go?
Are the conversations engaging and deep in thought?
Is she pushy for you to take her some place or expect that you do this?
1. Dinner
2. Movies
3. Some place expensive
Is she the type that expects gifts on the date?
Does she meet all of your physical, emotional and intellectual requirements?

MattyAnon · 2019-11-18T20:37:53+00:00

had it happen on 3rd date a fair number of times too, but would you say it's worth it because "girls are a bit different and move at different speeds", or is it better to just next?

Sex by third date is fine, SO LONG AS THE EFFORT IS LOW AND THE ENJOYMENT IS HIGH.

Three boring dates with a rude girl? Hell no, fuck that, next.

Three pleasant dates, easy to set up, fun girl, enjoy her company, pretty easy to escalate things, super enthusiastic BJ on the second date? No problem waiting for a third date for full sex.

If she says "we can meet, but there's gonna be no sex" (classic bullshit). Do you say "sure, whatever" or let her know that she's getting fucked and to just deal with it? Anything in between?

I dunno, I find that attitude pretty annoying. Either she's precluding sex (setting the frame, making me jump through hoops) or she's lying and knows it (also bad, because well.... lying).

five_eight · 2019-11-18T17:41:33+00:00

Maybe I need labs drawn but I'm not a date counter and dying to get laid. I'm ok with seeing what the scenario looks like. Lotta dudes out there sorry they stuck their dick in crazy.

Kobinks · 2019-11-18T16:52:14+00:00

The UK philosophy is fuck on the first "date"...

If she's making you wait then she isn't uncontrollably attracted to you and you can't negotiate attraction so why bother wasting your time trying to convince her over multiple days.

_DonDraper_ · 2019-11-18T16:24:47+00:00

I think a decent rule of thumb is you should go for the kiss on the 2nd date max and for sex on the 3rd date max. But this can differ depending on the vibe and context. It's important to read every situation differently, not follow rules like a robot.

Either way, if you went for sex twice and got rejected, I'd move on.

XT3M3 · 2019-11-18T17:13:01+00:00

3 dates max. anything more is a waste if you arent getting what you want.

and if she says " we arebt having sex" its just her trying to convince herself to not fuck altho she wants too. dick is on her mind

Red_Pill_Brotherhood · 2019-11-18T18:50:18+00:00

This is up to personal preference. I have a 2 date rule and will go a 3rd sometimes, depending on the chick/dynamic/current options.

When they say that shit test, respond with "I generally like to wait around 30 dates before sex." or "clear where your mind is doll" or "yea ur not getting lucky ;)" or similar.

ChadTheWaiter100 · 2019-11-18T19:27:08+00:00

Since I’ve been having sex, the only time I’ve experienced resistance, is from LTR’s.

SalporinRP · 2019-11-19T00:13:50+00:00

People on here are inexperienced so they want these rigid rules to follow because it makes life easier for them. Life isn't black and white like that.

If a girl who I can tell is an absolute slut doesn't fuck me on the first/second date I will think of it in a different way than a girl who isn't a slut does the same. If I have to wait for the 3rd date to have sex with a cool girl who's fun to be around and fun to talk to I'm not gonna get butthurt about it.

PhaedrusHunt · 2019-11-18T18:55:25+00:00

It just depends on the situation.

One of my best plates it was date number three before I smashed.

Although we made out pretty seriously on date number one and on date number two she sucked me off so.

Yeah dude don't let a chick waste your time.

possible exceptions are old-fashioned girls with old-fashioned values with a low n count or virgins.

But if you get the feeling that she's the type of woman that's had one night stands and flings and she's still putting you off don't mess around with it.

Next time just text her to come over and hang out and if she says no soft next.

acp_rdit · 2019-11-18T20:22:10+00:00

[deleted]

legend503 · 2019-11-18T23:35:09+00:00

However. I don't feel the need for sex the same way other guys seem to do. Or if they're weak and fall for the hype. If I enjoy the person I won't care if it's the 1st date or 7th. But at some point I want too. But I don't rush it. I don't have that drive. However I do tend to kiss them quickly to make sure she's into me.

victorgrlp99 · 2019-11-18T16:39:15+00:00

About the bonus question. I have been seeing a girl for a week and we have met three times. The two first dates she said we weren't having sex and we did.

Don't pay attention to that, if she likes you and feels attracted to you, there are a lot of ways to make her get in the mood without being too straight forward.

Psychological_Radish · 2019-11-18T19:39:15+00:00

Is this place going soft? Forget this second or third date bullshit. With almost every girl that I've had sex with, it happened on the first "date" (and I use that term loosely). I truly don't understand why any red-blooded male would wait unless there's reason to believe it's going to happen next time.

Irtotallynotrobot · 2019-11-18T17:17:22+00:00

Rules are objective and each situation varies. think about the main takeaway: if she's not putting out your interest should be gradually or sharply declining per your judgement. Ask yourself if she's treating you well, if there are extenuating circumstances, who's contacting who, etc. You may or may not have other women, but there are definitely better options for spending time than on a lackluster woman

Truedemocracy5 · 2019-11-18T18:49:53+00:00

Depends on what you’re after. Relationship? No. Plate? Yes

TheStumblingWolf · 2019-11-18T21:28:47+00:00

Use your own judgment. People aren't robots where you can just set up rules and have success. If you think it takes 4 dates and it's worth it, then go.

MajorMid · 2019-11-18T22:31:01+00:00

Depends what you are looking for. If she is fucking you BEFORE the 3rd date shes a slut and not relationship material

Flux_7 · 2019-11-19T02:09:54+00:00

Fucking on the first date? Couldn’t trust a whore like that.

TRP is degenerate and at least partially responsible for the increasing promiscuity in women which is of course linked to declining social capital.

CMV.

TheBunk_TB · 2019-11-18T19:03:33+00:00

It depends on what you both are looking for.

Friendly-Casper · 2019-11-18T16:41:24+00:00

Just going for a quick hook up? 2 to 3 dates max. Bail if nothing has happened at that point. If she says no sex but wants to meet again, she's already thinking about it. Say something relatively smooth if you can manage to keep her thinking about it. She'll end up being the one to initiate, if she doesn't, she's likely just looking for free meals or trying to hold out until about 5 or 8 dates to hook you on a relationship.

kclanton80 · 2019-11-18T18:27:51+00:00

Women all move at different speeds but you should not have to take her on multiple paid dates. I can see you taking her out on the first date and paying... but after that you should either be splitting the bill or just doing something for free. She can come to your place or you can go to hers.

a woman that makes you pay for multiple days without sleeping with you is not very attracted to you.

I don't mind spending time with a woman several times before sleeping with her, but it won't be during paid dates. Unless she wants to take me out ( which has definitely happened).

DominatePressure · 2019-11-18T19:44:19+00:00

Dont pay attention of what she says pay attention to what she does. If she said previously to you no sex on the 1st date but she display enough hints that say otherwise just go for it buddy

Cods_gift_to_reddit · 2019-11-18T20:32:01+00:00

don't overthink it - it's up to you how much time you're willing to invest and what compromises you are willing to make.

Above all else do what you want to do. What you ACTUALLY want to do

Bing_Bang_Bam · 2019-11-18T22:12:54+00:00

I usually ball in the first date. Then there's no need for a second.

legend503 · 2019-11-18T23:33:39+00:00

I never expect the first date. But the 3rd date yes.

hopelesshotel · 2019-11-19T03:30:25+00:00

i would ignore the “but no sex” part of that sentence with an undertoned acknowledgment, basically take the convo elsewhere responding to the “we can meet” part only, with something like “does this place work for you?” (talking about a restaurant etc.)

what this does is tell her that YOU have been with enough chicks to know they have to put up this dog & pony show, and that u know ur finna fuck & that part doesnt faze you. also she will look dumb trying to get u to acknowledge the “but no sex” part because u didnt pay it any mind.

jacklychi · 2019-11-19T06:34:18+00:00

Do you genuinely enjoy spending time with her? is she pretty to look at?

If you answered "no" to any of those questions, then 2 dates max.

However, if she is a nice and pretty and you enjoy her company, keep seeing her until it happens, why not?

Zombiespire · 2019-11-19T12:58:11+00:00

I find there is a serious philosophical contradiction on trp where we criticize women and society for being sluts and whores and losing their conservative modesty, but we treat women that attempt to preserve some semblance of their modesty and/or chastity as worthless wastes of our time to be nexted.

Maybe it's called unicorn hunting because a lot of you dumbasses next them the moment you talk to them.

IXseed · 2019-11-19T13:07:02+00:00

I see a lot of guys like AMS say 3 dates but for guys like that it's because they don't really have time to raise a girls attraction past that since they're dealing with so many other women.

The key is not to cap it by a # of dates but jump ship when it's clear that they're making you wait for sex. Hey, it could happen after the 4th, 5th, if she interested at all. Also cut a girl if it's clear it isn't progressing to sex. Say if you keep trying to escalate over a few dates and keep being met with resistance, I'd bail.

BQ: Classic shit test. BS with her "You think I'm that easy?" Also, if she's bringing up sex UNPROVOKED like that, it means she's thinking about fucking you, which is a good thing.

___Lana___ · 2019-11-21T23:00:34+00:00

I used to have the same rule as most of my girl-friends : « Don’t let him fuck you before the 3rd date », if you want to become his girlfriend one day.

If it’s just for a good fuck, there is no rule.

Before the 3rd date it looks slutty, or at least this is was I’ve always been told.

But keep in my that we create rules for the betas, and break them for the alphas ;)

ppanthero · 2019-11-24T18:22:11+00:00

Relax on those exact numbers. No sex can be based on so many factors of a date (period, logistics, ...). But of course - if you are paying for her dinner for the fifth time without actually having sex with her, than for sure this is going nowhere.

Ah, and for the bonus question: very obvious shit test. She needs some plausible deniability. So essentially say something like “yeah, sure“ or “do you think i am really that easy“ and fuck her anyway later.

MOSFETBJT · 2019-11-18T17:23:53+00:00

Four dates is the correct amount.

whammyfeet · 2019-11-18T18:32:00+00:00

I would never take a girl a girl on dates unless we were already sleeping together.

RealEarthAngel · 2019-11-18T23:59:25+00:00

There is no “just letting her know she’s getting fucked“. It’s up to her. You have to get her consent. Otherwise it’s rape. Remember that..

Kabuki431 · 2019-11-18T20:01:30+00:00

No women will ever fuck on first date. Its your job as a man to bring that guard down and make em wet and spread their legs.

There was just 1 instance last year where a chick didn't put out on first date and essentially told me she waits till a month. I just told her to not waste my time anymore.

PiperBigBell · 2019-11-18T18:34:32+00:00

Me personally, I use the first date to make sure that she has sexual interest. We don't need to have sex, but if we aren't making out, feeling each other up, I'm gonna bounce. Unless I can properly vet to see if she's super inexperienced, genuinely scared, etc. Things I might make exceptions for.

On date two I like it straight to my house, b/c I'm trying to establish us having a sexual dynamic first, not a platonic, I support you dynamic. If she still hasn't fucked me, by this point I've usually vetted enough to see whether she has any intention of ever fucking me or not. And I cut my losses at that point.

Unless there was no house available, I don't recall ever sleeping with a girl I had to see more than twice.

Yet again. I only take out on official dates girls I sleep with.

The purpose of dates of to establish sexual interest. Things like chemistry, connections are assumed and would be the natural cutting point if it was that bad. This sexuality is at the forefront.

Title	If she doesn't fuck on the first date, you give her a second chance, but not third?
Author	smgtn
Upvotes	87
Comments	96
Date	18 November 2019 03:43 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	askTRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/295704
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dy4u1p/if_she_doesnt_fuck_on_the_first_date_you_give_her/