LTR is friends with a co-worker who has high SMV. How to handle jealousy

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December 2, 2019

My 1.5 year LTR recently started a new job in marketing and has made friends with a 6’7 guy who used to row for Great Britain (high SMV to compete with lol).

The dynamic in our relationship is generally positive – all affection instigated by her, she’s submissive, happy to follow my lead etc. Essentially no red flags.

I lift, work on myself, have a good job, get attention from other women (and my LTR knows it), but this guy’s SMV is clearly higher than mine.

She’s mentioned him to me a few times, each time commenting on his height and size. To show the ‘difference in height’ compared to her, she showed me a pic of them standing together at a work party.

I recognised this as a shit test, so just nodded at the picture and moved the conversation on (any comments on a better reaction here would be appreciated).

How do I deal with the fact that she hangs out with and could be attracted to her male co-workers, especially this guy she’s befriended?

Obviously confronting and revealing my jealousy / insecurity is a big no, but the internal conflict is real. So how can I make peace?

Post Information
Title LTR is friends with a co-worker who has high SMV. How to handle jealousy
Author pollenao
Upvotes 139
Comments 138
Date 02 December 2019 12:53 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationshipsexual market valueshit testlift

[–]1DullIntroduction184 points185 points  (18 children) | Copy

You made the right move by avoiding mateguarding. Don't overthink it, keep applying dread appropriately.

If she keeps pushing it, which is unlikely, enforce boundaries.

[–]good-afternoon16 points17 points  (8 children) | Copy

How do you go about enforcing boundaries? I agree dread ought to be the first go-to here

[–]1DullIntroduction4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Soft nexting is the usual way to go.

[–]space_warrior_20180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is there a guide to soft nexting?

[–]Truedemocracy5111 points112 points  (17 children) | Copy

Here’s the thing mate. You can do everything perfectly. Lift, focus on yourself, have a good career, maintain frame, etc but hypergamy is hypergamy and it will mean nothing if she meets a significantly better option

In that case there is nothing you can do BUT prize yourself and realize if she moves on then fuck that bitch you’ll be better off. As others said use this as motivation to continue building yourself and don’t appear jealous in any way as this will just add gasoline to any spark.

Some may disagree but I’d also do some research on the guy. Is he single? Are him and your gf hanging out socially outside of work? Do they text? If you’re the hot guy in the office you’ll make a lot of men nervous that doesn’t mean you intend to fuck all of them.

God speed brother

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire212 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Harsh reality is harsh. I always appreciate when people post a reality check like this.

[–]Ill_mumble_that17 points18 points  (12 children) | Copy

I'd like to add to this. Women go nuts about height. A 6'7" dude is equivalent to a chick with a huge set of tits or a giant tight perfectly formed ass.

Women in the coed workforce... it's just a bad idea. Hes going to be working with her every day. If he wants to, he will bang her. Unless he has terrible game, it's almost entirely up to him to decide whether he bangs her or not as she may not be able to resist.

Your options are to get her to leave that office, live with it and focus on you, or try to befriend the dude and make him respect you enough not to make a pass at your girl.

[–]volvostupidshit11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

get her to leave that office

Lmao don't do this. Let her be, just get back to the thing you can control - yourself. Be ready to take the L if things go south and never look back.

[–]Ill_mumble_that1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not recommending anything, just tossing in ideas.

But if you have an LTR that works, its preferable she work in an office with only other women.

[–]Truedemocracy510 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Height has depreciating returns after 6’2 dude and anything above 6’4 often enters circus freak status - not attractive UNLESS the guy has a stellar frame, which is very rare for people that size

The former rower almost surely does. But make no mistake most look like a lurch

[–]Heizenbrg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sad bad true, at 5'8" I'm basically invisible unless I'm not dressed bad that day

[–]isthisalreadyused-5 points-4 points  (7 children) | Copy

Or you can tell her to stop talking to him or she’s out the door.

How tf do you not have that as an option?

[–]Ill_mumble_that11 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy

Because then she just talks to him without telling you and you've demonstrated you are afraid of him.

You just raised his SMV for him, good job. Have fun unknowingly fucking his sloppy seconds later.

[–]isthisalreadyused-2 points-1 points  (5 children) | Copy

You’re a fucking retard. Have some balls, if you don’t like something, tell her to change it, or hit the road.

Imagine a real alpha, like a John Gotti type. You think he allowed his woman to have guy friends?

Your problem is like most here: instead of being a fucking man and being direct, you play these little games because you fear confrontation and don’t know how to assert yourself

[–]Ill_mumble_that3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Welp. Anger phase. Read Sidebar.

[–]isthisalreadyused1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Like a brainwashed little drone, the sidebar infallible and has all the answers.

Try critical thinking out, and stop letting others think for you. If he have a different opinion from what the sidebar teaches (I seriously doubt you do) share it, don’t be afraid

[–]Ill_mumble_that0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I said sidebar because you aren't worth my time with your attitude and shallow depth of understanding. Go improve yourself.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy


[–]Heizenbrg4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

why would they text? That be a huge red flag for me if she was texting with a male co-worker, and her job doesn't involve communicating through email/ text.

[–]Truedemocracy52 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy


[–]Heizenbrg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If I found that shit I'd slap that cunt out of my house ffs

[–]kclanton80114 points115 points  (7 children) | Copy

Give the guy enough rope to hang himself. Right now his shit doesn't stink in her eyes but how long will that last? You truly don't know.

Who knows if the guy is even interested in your girl anyway? there is absolutely nothing you can do and it's foolish to keep letting your mind run wild. Fear is false evidence appearing real. Stop being fearful.

this guy could leave for another job in 2 weeks or do something that makes him an asshole in her eyes. assuming that eventually they will fall madly in love and fuck is ridiculous. Worry about that when and if it happens, until then just keep playing it cool.

[–]jackandjill227 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Every guys always interested. If she's available a dude will find a way. That's just the natural state lf things

[–]kclanton8018 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy

If she threw the pussy at him he would probably take it. That doesn't mean he is pursuing it. Not every guy seeks to shit where they eat...and there's tons of other factors involved in a work situation

[–]Hungboy69694209 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Confirmed, I don't shit where I eat and women almost get offended

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy


[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire226 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha, you're just saying that to be a dick.

[–]VinterBot7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, but unless she plays it magnificently OP can just next and be done with it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

AWALT, however NAWALT to the same degree...

[–]Sadman148283 points84 points  (1 child) | Copy

If he wants her she is his . Don’t act jealous and needy to push her closer and brace yourself for the possibility

[–]Truedemocracy535 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. Hypergamy is a bitch but something every man needs to see and experience up close

[–]fashfront17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t overthink it, recognize that it is a shittest sometimes and respond appropriately. Not a big deal

[–]BusterVadge15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

In addition to all of the great advice here, you should ask the guys in the mrp subreddit. They deal specifically with LTR issues.

[–]PhaedrusHunt36 points37 points  (8 children) | Copy

Man she's got you hamstering. It's okay it happens to the best of us especially in an LTR.

You don't know anything about this guy but I'm kind of in a similar boat and I can tell you it's not always fun. I'm 6'4", in good shape, blessed with good looks, all that. So I do get a lot of female attention and I appreciate it and like it just like anyone else would, but I DON'T like it when women are fawning over me right in front of their husband or boyfriend. I've been put in that situation and I'm just not the type of dude to hit on a woman right in front of her man or to try and take another guy's chick.

Even coming into my bjj gym one day-- I'm a contractor so sometimes I wear coveralls, so I'm wearing these pinstripe coveralls, I got cowboy boots on, my hair is kind of long, I'm wearing aviators-- I've got my own look, but I'm just walking into my goddamn gym to get some rounds in. And this girl that's sitting there-- her boyfriend trains too, and he's right there-- just says, "Wow, hot carpenter."

So guess what? Now THIS guy hates me and wants to kick my ass. I could give two shits about his girl, but he doesn't care, he's just mad because she thinks I'm attractive and she's apparently too stupid to keep her mouth shut.

The point is, my man, this guy has nothing to do with it. They're always going to be people that can edge us out physically one way or another. Every fighter eventually gets defeated, every record eventually gets broken.

You can't beat this guy head to head, but he's probably not trying to compete with you He's probably not interested in your girl.

The main thing for you to do is to just be secure in yourself and the other aspects of your life that you can control.

[–]fignootins4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Every fighter eventually gets defeated, every record eventually gets broken

Khabib Nurmagomedov has entered the chat

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You nailed it. She's using dread on this dude and it's working.

[–]butthurtmoderators-3 points-2 points  (5 children) | Copy

That’s funny. He got mad at you for doing nothing, he was a total betamale.

You should’ve took his girl

[–]PhaedrusHunt11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

Not interested. Done with Asian thots.

But next time we rolled, he went hella hard. Like, he rolled MAD, which is a big no-no in my gym unless you want my coach to smash you. Still armbarred him. Twice.

For the record I've got no problem with this dude and honestly that's a shitty thing for her to say. AWALT

[–]Black_Jesup3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Definitely smash then hard next that dude on the mat.

[–]PhaedrusHunt9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Haha nah man, I don't shit where I eat.

BJJ gym drama can get out of hand-- bitches can choose from a room full of alphas, so loyalty is important.

I could tell you some stories

[–]Mr_Mandingo930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i would like to hear some of thise stories lol

[–]juliank4728 points29 points  (7 children) | Copy

Having a couple of plates to choose from would be your best bet, but if not, the best thing to do is to NEVER ever let her know that you know he has higher SMV than you. Act as if you are 10x the man he is.

[–]sAr1h4k6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy

But how would that work out if she sees that the other guy looks better than him?

[–]RanaMahal24 points25 points  (1 child) | Copy

women are emotionally driven. men are visually driven.

what that means is you can out-alpha any guy by being more confident in yourself than he is unless he’s just supremely confident like, say, Leonardo DiCaprio. If the guy is tall, good looking, famous celebrity and rich, (all of those things at once) then you will probably lose out at that point.

in 99% of other situations you can run dread game easily on any LTR. just do what you wanna be doing and think of it like this: she’s part of your world, not the other way around.

women will fuck the confident average looking guy 100 times before trying the good looking unconfident guy

[–]flipthecatjack6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

It’s not all about looks. They play a large roll no doubt, but there are a lot of other factors that go into it.

Having a stronger internal frame is one thing that could potentially offset having lesser looks than another man, for example.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy


[–]i-am-the-prize1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Actually, when I've looked back and thought about this topic, my Game and Frame were weak growing up - distinctly because I was, in the words of Brother Zoolander, ridiculously good looking. Honestly, pussy fell out of the sky onto my face starting in 8th grade when I first got head and laid from 2 different HS sophmores. Came easy for me after that for the next 2-3 decades.

I think it became a crutch, relying on my face and body, that I never needed to develop Game and Frame, until I did. When I let myself go and health and fat and middle age drowned out most of my natural looks. At that point, sure I got back into shape and now again enjoy (some of) the attention I once had, but it was un-learning BP nature and developing Frame and Game almost from scratch at a late age.

I would find upon reflection that I did some stuff right (Gaming), but it was not the norm. I could coast simply due to hawtness, social proof/popularity, looks and wit. Good news, I can learn (have been learning) Frame and Game and like any learned skill, they are things I can change and master.

[–]flipthecatjack0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

True true.

Hence, Lift and Spin more plates (even if you’re not actively sexual with said plates)

[–]iSwallowedTRP20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some cringe worthy comments in here.

Sounds like you’re handling it well. You’re asking in this sub so I’m assuming you’re either lacking abundance or pedstalizing your girl.

Next time she mentions the guy, just agree and amplify whatever she says or disagree and amplify. If next time it’s some extreme shit she pulls (cause it usually gets worse before better) ghost her out.

And the golden nugget here is, you gotta be okay with the thought that she could bang him. It’s a fucked up thought, but that’s how you’ll keep her.

For the sake of her being an LTR, pay attention to if she puts herself in compromising positions with him, alone. She might wanna fuck him, but if she starts getting into one-on-one situations with him, I’d brace for the exit door approaching.

[–]warburgio21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

better reaction would be - a bit higher him and ur head would be on perfect level for polite conversations or why am i sopending my time with a midget? i need to find myself a giant woman to ride shopping on. amplifyyy this shit

[–]futianze10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Focus on other shit in your life. If she cheats, she cheats.

Start creating more abundance in your life because it seems like there isn't enough atm. I respect your post as you are trying to learn, but stop worrying. You're feeding her exactly what she wants. Give her something equivalent to worry about.

Somewhere down the line, casually mention going out for drinks with her work friends. See how she responds to that suggestion. If it's like, "Oh, [Dude] isn't going to be there so I don't want to go." Then that's a little bit more concerning, although they could still just be friends. See how she responds when you both are in the same room. Don't be scared. Confidently confront this.

You can also be keenly aware of her behavior around this concern without being insecure, creepy, or weak. If she starts to deliberately block your view while she's texting. If she's got a smile on her face while she's texting, but never really tells you what it's about. If she's constantly bringing him up with no relation to the current context. If she starts wanting to go out alone. If she's continually being more of a bitch than usual. These are all textbook "I'm ready to branch swing" moves.

Main thing is, don't take one of these things as "Omg, she cheated!!"

[–]fuddubandha60 points61 points  (2 children) | Copy

It was your turn

[–]PandaLitter9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ask if you can take a video before it's really done for your own records

[–]Manny14004 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

She has eyes for Captain Britain, and you need to respond with dread protocols and find yourself other women

Does she live with you? End that right now--no guy should be living with a woman he isn't married to. It allows her to control him, snoop, limit his options, etc.

She has a new job and she is on the prowl. Distance yourself from her emotionally and physically. Set aside weekends for other girls and keep your mouth shut. Do not discuss this other dude. Don't even say shit--just be vague

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

So this is pretty simple -- there will always be someone with a higher SMV than you. and if your partner has significant (a) frequency and (b) proximity with one of them, you likely lose.

that's true for him as well. if he ever slouches on his game or a buffer dude with more charisma comes into the scene then yes he would lose her as well.

you're all taking turns.

and I got to add this though some people may disagree: none of this is your fault. you can only read and work out and improve yourself at a certain pace. it may not be the pace needed to keep her in this situation. but you can be proud because you have done You to the best of your ability.

And...maybe he has some issue that will eventually come out and she'll want you more. but if so, in my experience some other 6'7" dude will come along at some point it's just a matter of time.

at present, I think you're reading the writing on the wall with solid 20/20 vision.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy


[–]404ThotNotFound2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sucks being mogged by a Giga Chad

[–]30dirtyfingers29 points30 points  (1 child) | Copy

Agree and amplify.

Or, fuck other girls on the side so that when she cheats, its not as hard hitting because u did it as well.

If your not gonna cheat, at least give her reason to doubt your faithfullness.

[–]Irtotallynotrobot3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

She'll fear more losing what she already has than gaining anything she perceives as better. Dread.

For your peace of mind, turn up things with the other women but don't make a show of it. That's for your headspace.

[–]throwitdownman9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

You HAVE to dread in an LTR. One party always applies dread, the other engages in self-loathing and tries to ‘chase’ the other. You have to become the type who applies dread, not the buttercup who gets dread applied onto.

Men in general uphold values like respect, or treating others how you want to be treated. In an LTR you have to purposely be slightly manipulative and improve yourself WITHOUT your LTR, so she sees your status going up. For example, you’re feeling the way you feel not because of this one man, but because you feel she has access to MEN like him - you see her status rising and it’s giving you fear. Start reading and applying dread. Though this one might be already over, you can take the lessons for your next LTR.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T35 points36 points  (8 children) | Copy

Congratulations, your LTR successfully dread gamed you. And you fell for it like a chump,

This is because your frame is weak and you like indulging in self-loathing and self-doubt.

Stop being a chump.

The issue isn't that some other people are getting opportunities that you want.

The issue is that you're not doing the things that you want to do. Focus on the opportunities you personally want.

[–]clickherebaby25 points26 points  (3 children) | Copy

100% not this. He didnt fall for shit. So many fucking posers with "advice" thats really just a guise to be an asshole.

[–]muricanwerewolf111 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s the most annoying thing on this sub, next to dudes screaming “hard next” for the slightest thing. Lotta dudes so insecure that when they find TRP they flip to comically egotistical. Nobody’s buying the alpha chad facade when you spend your time trying to AMOG nobodies on the internet, fellas.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

He didn't react which was good, but he still gave about 20 fucks about it and took what she said too seriously.

If she actually was considering smashing, 8:10 she wouldn't say shit about him, unless she's fucktarded and an unusually bad liar. I'm not ruling out the latter.

This is classic dread game. Just because she likes window shopping doesn't mean she's ready to go in the store.

[–]Diche_Bach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Brutal and honest.

[–]DJVendetta0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Heizenbrg0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He didn't fail just ignored her pitiful attempt at making him jealous?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you did that to her (jealousy shit test) she wouldn't hesitate to let you know how she feels about it. Women can give it, but can't take it.

[–]johnexperience1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

For the love of god DO NOT Mateguard

[–]bradtwo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't shit where you eat. The chances you building and maintaining a proper relationship after you banged will be very marginal. Think of the fallout when/if it doesn't work out.

But if you must know.

Show a loss of interest in her. This should cue her into chasing you further.

[–]AlleyFrog961 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Normally people would say it becomes a problem when she STOPS mentioning him. But don’t let what a woman chooses to do with her vagina determine your self worth. At the end of the day she’s a grown ass woman who knows exactly what the fuck she’s doing.

Remember these 3 guys: 1. We don’t owe women shit, 2. make women work for the things they want just like how we have to work for the things we want and 3. Hold women accountable for their actions

[–]whammyface1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

By not being scared to lose her.

[–]oooKenshiooo1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

A quality LTR woman would handle the situation differently.

In a quality LTR you are both aware of the fact, that you may find other people attractive, even more attractive occasionally, than your partner.

However, if she met someone who sparks her interest, a quality LTR would just be honest about it, it may be an interesting conversation and that's probably about it. She would be highly aware of what is happening, be respectful about it and make extra sure to stay out of any situations that might just give off the slightest whiff of indiscretion.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy


[–]oooKenshiooo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They do. But guess what. They are in LTRs most of the time and damn hard to come by. They are usually snatched up and married by the time they are 24, usually by high smv guys in their 30s looking to settle down, because those are guys who are able to handle them.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It sounds like you handled the shit-test fine.

One thing to consider that I didn't see mentioned in the top comments thus far:

You mentioned that you "get attention from other women" and she "knows it."

To what extent might this be contributing to causing her behavior? I mean, it's one thing to be attracted to other people, it's another thing to mention it to one's lover / sex partner. It could be that you casually mentioned something, or maybe to instill a bit of dread, or maybe she saw something, got jealous, and then sat on it without saying anything for fear of coming across like a "Stage 5 clinger." And now, she's offering up a bit of tit-for-tat.... except if you take the bait, YOU will be the needy one... On the other hand, if you act like you don't care, then maybe she'll think she's expendable.

I'm not sure there is anything you can do at this point, except keep a calm, emotionally detached eye on the situation.

It's one thing for her to mention him. It's another thing if they are hanging out together after work at a bar, or going on work trips together where there are opportunities to cheat.

In this day and age, though, cheating is expedited by technology, so if people want to cheat, they will. What hurts most people, is KNOWING that the cheating is happening, as well as the fear and anxiety that they will be publicly humiliated if their peers find out. So when people cheat, they also sometimes do it with the double intent of the pleasure, but also to hurt their partner, even if it negatively affects their social reputation.

Finally, so what if he's 6 foot 7? That's not an automatic improvement. If guys are too tall, they look like freaks, or are viewed as freaks. I remember once a guy who was in that situation. He was a good looking guy with prospects, but he was simply too tall for the group he was in, and none of the girls were interested. Of course, this could have changed in a year or so, but at the time, his height and manliness worked against him.

[–]fuddubandha1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dump her before she dumps you.

[–]H_Crush1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not in an LTR atm, but I was in one I liked but ended because of moving cities. After the vetting process, I like to be in a relationshiop where the woman has a degree of respect for me where she wouldn't show me pictures with other guys and her or talk about them in a way that could make me jelaous. Now, that doesn't work always: sometimes is just the woman you chose and often times you lost frame, got complacent or just don't know what kind of woman you want and you are not the kind of man (didn't grow up with observing a certain mentality from your father for example or adopt the same mentality through whatever means) to keep the woman you think you want in check.

[–]NoVirtueSignal2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just invite him Over and spit roast LTR one cock in mouth and one in ass. You might enjoy the thought of your Mrs being fucked cuckold style or learn to enjoy it so you don’t get jealous lol

[–]pollenao[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

haha solid plan - everyone's a winner.

[–]nexther1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

By upping dread. Never be afraid to lose her... if you are, then you’ll lose her because neediness can be felt a mile away.

Find yourself a back up girl or two. Just in case.

[–]lolomotif121 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have confidence in yourself and fuck her brains out every night like your life depends on it. Take care of yourself, lift, groom, dress and smell nice. Keep your SMV high. When she shows you a picture just acknowledge his height and say something like "yeah, he really is tall" and dont be bothered by it, just carry on with your mission. Learn how to fight, study a martial art. Believe it when I say knowing how to fight will raise your SMV even higher than someone who is bigger and taller than you because she will know you can kick ass regardless of someones size. Other than that, just focus on yourself and remember shes not yours it's just your turn.

[–]longjeep20051 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her mentioning him to you the way she did is her saying, “there’s this guy, I want to fuck him, and I’m going to if I get the chance.” Quite frankly, it seems extremely disrespectful towards you and I would break it off with her. She’s already gone anyways. Don’t get down on yourself though, continue to be the best you possible

[–]mrrooftops1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The funny thing is, Cap'n Britain probably isn't that attracted to her. He's an upper class Brit and, well, she's just a screeching American.

[–]sharkymcstevenson691 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Most of these comments are incredibly cringe. Dude, that’s blatant disrespect and I’d do yourself a favor and dump the bitch with no explanation and let her stew in her idiotic choices.

Why you’re in a LTR is another question. I highly doubt this chick has a single redeeming quality to her other than the fact that you get dependable pussy now and then. Well guess what, you don’t need to limit yourself to one woman to have that. Find a plate that respects you more and worships your dick. The dynamic of your relationship is fucked.

dump her, lift, spin plates, and continue doing so forever or until you decide to procreate.

[–]newplayer28-1 points0 points  (7 children) | Copy

What's the point in being so savage? Alpha and savage are two different things. Just spin plates and keep doing you. If anything, yeah dump her

[–]sharkymcstevenson692 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

There is nothing “savage” about giving a woman who feels it’s okay to blatantly disrespect you the treatment she deserves. I have many plates and not one of them would dare pull this shit on me. They want access to me, and they aren’t going to fuck it up by playing silly jealousy mind games. They know deep down I’ll drop em like a hot potato in the blink of an eye the moment they misbehave.

[–]pollenao[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yes, if a plate plays these games or shit tests early on, you drop. But you’re comparing plates to LTRs - two very different ballgames.

There’s more complexity and nuance in an LTR. A decision to drop an her like you would a plate if she shit tests is a ham fisted approach that doesn’t apply here. Shit tests and small moments of disrespect are an inevitably in LTRs, and it’s your responsibility to respond appropriately and assert control.

That’s why we say that LTRs are the red pill on hard mode, and why there’s a contingent in this community that says to avoid them altogether - which I entirely understand. Plates are WAY simpler to deal with.

[–]sharkymcstevenson690 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

This directly relates to the question..why be in the LTR in the first place? Also, I’ve been in LTR’s that were objectively good and none of this kind of bullshit ever took place. I’ve been naturally RP’d from an early age and even before I discovered it my girls knew they needed me much more than I needed them. I achieved this by being fucking exceptional. Nothing else works as well to create dread. I’ve since wised up and will spin plates until I’m ready to knock some chick up. At that point, yeah I can see the point of a LTR.

[–]pollenao[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Honestly mate, I ask myself the same question lol. But ultimately, I enjoy her company and she adds value at the moment.

Fair enough you feel this scenario crosses a boundary, but I just see it as a shit test. Don’t get me wrong, I have boundaries and will walk if she crosses them (spends one on one time with this guy, puts herself in compromising situations etc, sees him outside work etc).

Boundary setting is subjective to each individual, and I guess we can agree to disagree on this one.

[–]sharkymcstevenson691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve never been disrespected like that in a relationship. I’m just trying to offer a perspective here, consider this. You seem like a nice fellow. If you had a GF that you were crazy about, and some super sexy babe works with you, is your first instinct to say “hey babe look how cute this girl looks next to me I’m so jacked and she’s so petite isn’t that cute babe?”

No. Because you’re not goofy as fuck and you know how to display respectful behavior towards someone you value. Think about it, and best of luck

[–]longjeep20050 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When this same scenario happened to me, I also assumed it was a shit test. I crushed it, and didn’t think anything of it. It came as a surprise a few weeks later when she broke up with me, and my friend said she was with the SAME GUY she was telling me about.

[–][deleted]  (6 children) | Copy


[–]unnatural_by_nature10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

Terrible gameplan. The only way to win this game is not to play.

[–]sAr1h4k2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Saved this lol

[–]clickherebaby2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Where do these schmucks come from? Terrible advice

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy


[–]Pegando-Culo690 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

If there’s “no red flags” and she’s “submissive” then you have nothing to worry about. Just learn how to identify red flag behaviors and don’t act jealous.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

She can be submissive and still suck his dick though.

[–]Pegando-Culo690 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I have friends who have been cheated on and usually there are signs that something is off.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Usually. You also have friends that have been cheated on with no reason whatsoever to suspect aything, who are still in happy relationships. Usually, women that show off signs are either stupid or don't really care much of the outcome of the relationship anymore, so they don't go to extra lenghts to cover up. Unlike the married women that post on facebook what an awesome husband they have, while garglling your cum the night before.

[–]Pegando-Culo690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

And that's why I avoid LTRs

[–]Tousen710 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is a real conundrum.

I’ve got a buddy who has a higher SMV than me and I wouldn’t bring a girl I was interested in (that I hadn’t fucked yet) around him because she’d likely be attracted to him. Whether he pursued it or not, it’s just not a smart move before an attachment has been built imo.

Hypergamy is real. Don’t mate guard for sure, but understand that if he’s more charming and smoother than you, your girl will likely be affected by it (whether she chooses to act on it or not).

Seems like you’ve got her in your frame though so I wouldn’t think too much on it unless she keeps bringing him up.

[–]Lateralanouncer0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I would suggest you Be prepared and ready to upgrade. If you get angry hit the gym. If your jealous hit the gym. This will give you natural dread. (being in a ltr is hard work). From my experience woman naturally fall for the bosses as we tell them what todo while taking a natural leadership roll with staff. In a woman’s mind they are investing in the man and develop feels.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy


[–]Lateralanouncer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Probably better lol.

[–]trele_morele0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you're worried about losimg your LTR then you simply don't have enough things going on in your life. You should be making her dread at every step instead getting your own ass dreaded silly boy

[–]vullnet1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

After my last relationship, I won't tolerate any hanging out with any "male friends". In this day and age that is nigh impossible, but I know better than to think any male friend is truly platonic. This pretty much eliminates 99.99% of women for an LTR, but so be it.

[–]RRBeachFG20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

U could read the side bar, that prob has some good advice for someone in your shoes.

[–]Haytch12340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Get her to invite him out one night. With you and get.

Get to know him and talj to him like you are best mates.

Showing her you arent threatened will work on your favour

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (3 children) | Copy

soft next

[–]BloodSurgery0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why? Shes literally done nothing but shit test OP.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

she's basically dining on Gronk's dong already and you want him to cuck out and buy her some flowers?

[–]Truedemocracy5-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol pussy

[–]indianajonesindiana0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Find a way to get in the same room with her and him and AMOG the sh*t out of him. A-lot of these pretty boy types that women fawn over are actually gigantic betas. If I'm dating a woman and some guy like this hits the scene and try everything in my power to get invited to or be a-part of some event they'll be at together and then I go, covertly, on a seek and destroy mission. Nothing gets your gf more worked up, in a good way, than AMOGing a guy whom she is comparing your SMV to.

[–]eddielovett0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you care about her this much start a business and hire her to work for you. If you can’t then just hope for the best I guess and try not to let your jealousy show.

I don’t get the whole mate guarding thing. My wife is hot so why would I want her in physical proximity to men who want to fuck her? I see it more as setting clear and strict boundaries and being protective.

People are individuals. Some men are simply possessive it’s a character trait. There are plenty of women who like to be told what to do and bossed around. They want structure and concrete rules. It’s up to you to design her life in a way that suits you. This is only true if you’re both in love and in it for the long haul. If it’s more casual then I would not recommend any of this.

[–]mksu7110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What's the consensus on calling her out on her stupid behavior? She shouldn't be talking about other guys to her bf, right?

[–]ChadTheWaiter100-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t over think it. If he does dig her out it’s just gonna be a one time thing. There is no way a petite woman can take huge cock on the regular.

[–]Jugurthajones87-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Speaking as a good looking guy who works out and is 6’7, here’s a thought: maybe he’s a decent guy who isn’t interested in other guys’ women, maybe he doesn’t go around snapping his fingers and having women jump on his cock, and maybe your gf is attracted but nothing will come of it because she’s a good person and knows that workplace romances are a bad idea, not to mention the fact that she has a great bf as it is?

Nah. Hypergamy says you’re screwed.

[–]Ivabighairy1-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is where “she’s not yours, it’s just your turn “ comes in.

[–]2319Skew-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's just your turn OP. NO LTR lasts forever.

[–]Metalcrazyx-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

She is just a random female, who cares? Fuck others

[–]dadfrombrad-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

ruin his life

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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