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LTR is friends with a co-worker who has high SMV. How to handle jealousy

by pollenao | December 02, 2019 | askMRP

19 upvotes

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I posted this in Asktrp and thought I'd ask for insight here too.

My 1.5 year LTR recently started a new job in marketing and has made friends with a 6’7 guy who used to row for Great Britain (high SMV to compete with lol).

The dynamic in our relationship is generally positive – all affection instigated by her, she’s submissive, happy to follow my lead etc. Essentially no red flags.

I lift, work on myself, have a good job, get attention from other women (and my LTR knows it), but this guy’s SMV is clearly higher than mine.

She’s mentioned him to me a few times, each time commenting on his height and size. To show the ‘difference in height’ compared to her, she showed me a pic of them standing together at a work party.

I recognised this as a shit test, so just nodded at the picture and moved the conversation on (any comments on a better reaction here would be appreciated).

How do I deal with the fact that she hangs out with and could be attracted to her male co-workers, especially this guy she’s befriended?

Obviously confronting and revealing my jealousy / insecurity is a big no, but the internal conflict is real. So how can I make peace?


Post Information
Title LTR is friends with a co-worker who has high SMV. How to handle jealousy
Author pollenao
Upvotes 19
Comments 53
Date 02 December 2019 04:10 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/297498
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/e515ng/ltr_is_friends_with_a_coworker_who_has_high_smv/
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Comments

[–]fannyfire92 points93 points  (4 children) | Copy

Make peace by realizing that you could row spaceships into outer fucking space and your girl could still cheat on you.

[–]UnlimitedEgo8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

And that you wouldn't want to be with some lady like that.

[–]Anasthaesium2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

🤣

[–]AlohaMaui8082 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think this is the best I've seen from you so far

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I took you from 68 to 69 upvotes.

You are welcome.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy

She's testing you and feeling you're insecurity.

What's the worst that happens here? You're in an LTR for god sake, not married.

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The thing he doesn’t realize is that his reaction is what she’s reading. 90% of communication is non verbal so she knows for a fact he’s an insecure faggot.

[–]mrpthrowa19 points20 points  (4 children) | Copy

Gosh most of the replies in this thread are shit.

Any time your girl mentions another man in a positive light like that, assume 100% interest and throw her into him.

A variation of "You should totally date him, I'll throw in the ring if he proposes" etc ..

The subtext here and what your woman will understand is: "I don't have time for this shit, I can't wait for you to make a mistake, so I drop you and get a better hotter younger pussy".

Completely deflates the shit test, and 99% of the time makes her rollback and play defensive "no, I'm not interested in him, he is disgusting, bad, whatever".

If she does persist, even half jokingly, drop her slowly.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Some seriously highly upvoted comments, yet here, in the crowd amongst the noise, is your answer.

[–]fannyfire0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lmfao

[–]RedPillGlasses4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, this is the best. I like when dudes hit on my girlfriend at the bar, and I just text her and say “you should totally fuck him”

Then I laugh when she frantically waves me over to scare the guy away.

[–]Bedtimeshine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In situations like this, you’re right. That’s exactly how you should play it. You’re actions should say “bet! Now I have an excuse to revel in my own freedom.”

[–]redwall9222 points23 points  (2 children) | Copy

Grow to be 6'7".

All your LTR problems will magically melt away.

[–]morphite653 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The you just have to duck through every doorway for the rest of your life...

[–]redismyfuture21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy

She's not yours, it's just your turn.

Focus on you, if she tags along, cool. If she fucks this dude, cool. Drop her and keep moving along.

[–]mrpmonk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Cool .. cool, life is easy, no complain. This is clearly easier said than done, especially for me. I give too many fucks and get sidetracked off my mission with little emotional involvement. Dang!

[–]JoeBuckYourslf36 points37 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re clearly not focused on your mission because you have enough time to give a shit about this other dude. Stop being a faggot, it’s unattractive.

[–]floatingsidewalk19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

Who cares about the other guy. You've got some great options here.

Next time she shows you a picture, ignore the fact that there is another guy in the picture completely and just say something about HER in the pic. For example: "Wow, I really like what you're wearing.".

This is where the options start:

Example 1 - 'take me heels' and 'attract new clients skirt' Her: It's just a skirt. I dress like that everyday! You: I know, you clean up nice! (followed by a situation dependent lead in to 'let's go get you dirty or clean you up right now' )

Example 2 - t-shirt and jeans. Her: Why? It's, just a t-shirt! You: I wasn't talking about the picture. (context shift to the immediately present her)

Then follow up immediately to isolate and escalate.

I don't know your girl, but hopefully you get the gist.

  1. Ignore dude.
  2. Ignore test.
  3. Get what YOU want.

Best of luck!

[–]SoyTanto6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I really like that, “I’m not talking about the picture” line.

[–]FoxShitNasty8328 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't Fear Chad, Become Chad™

[–]helaughsinhidden14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

From other posts, sounds like your game is shit, you've become boring, probably play too many video games, don't have a social life outside her, care too much about what she thinks, and generally you simply no longer give her feelz. Could be a fat t-shirt wearing slob too, but your posts are too vague to really know what's going on.

What are your stats, lifts, body fat, finances?

What have you read, books, sidebar post series, youtube video series on RP, etc?

What is your mission, how long have you been actively working it, what level of dread are you on?

How long have you been going to the gym and how consistent are you?

[–]CrazyLegs7814 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

1.5 yr LTR lolz. You mean exactly monkey dick to her! Bitches risk 20+ year marriages, retirement packages, and the futures' of their children for much less than 6'7". The problem isn't her, its you. Your peace comes when you go to her work parties and take pictures with bitches hotter than her. Internalize that shit and get to work.

[–]redwall929 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Find an LTR that has no ambition in life other than to stay by your side.

[–]RedPillGlasses1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t talk about my girlfriend that way.

[–]creating_my_life4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

she's not testing your smv. she's testing your confidence. be clear which test you're passing.

[–]JoeBuckYourslf7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

He’s not passing shit because his priorities are completely fucked right now.

[–]ImNotSlash3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

What's to make peace with? You're insecure. Question is, why do you care?

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol

As long as she is fucking you as well as you want why do you care

[–]Anasthaesium2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Every LTR will face a point where the girl acquaints a guy who could be a threat and who is hitting on her.

This is the point the wheat is separated from the chaff.

If both are interested in each other and she starts sexting the dude, she isn't LTR material. Don't ignore that and get married to her.

How would you know she has started sexting the dude or sending him pics? You wouldn't . We don't have all the answers. Keep working on you. The truth has a tendency to come out. I hope it's sooner than later. On the other hand, if she is a keeper she will if ignore the dudes interest and will curtail her instincts to reciprocate the flirtation. The ones who convince themselves that "there is no harm in a little flirting " Are also not LTR material. Don't ignore that sign either. If she starts going down the road and you see it early warn her. Be overt and tell her you find this behaviour disrespectful. Three strikes and she is gone. In my case I stick to two. Because people who get to two will, get to three anyway.

[–]redwall925 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ask 6'7" guy how you should treat your LTR.

Take notes. Maybe he'll show you how to bend her over the desk.

[–]mrpthrowa1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Rowers are notorious for getting into every girl's pants.

I know, I'm a rower. Be afraid, be very afraid...

any comments on a better reaction here would be appreciated

"You should totally go for him if he wants you. I'll pay for the first date"

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only thing you can do is man up and suck his dick before your girl does, you seen to be pretty into him.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

6’7 is annoyingly tall. Theres way more girls that wouldnt want to date someone that tall.

[–]pollenao[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Haha in fairness she did say how difficult it is trying to talk to him due to his height.

[–]arm_candy5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Probably more comfortable sucking him off, though. Doesn’t even need to kneel, just bend over a bit.

[–]Chadthundercock5310 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your relationship is doomed. There's nothing you can do anymore. Best thing you can do right now is start seeking for a new gf..

[–]part_wolf0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

If she insists on mentioning him, the best approach is to say that you’re interested to meet him. When she asks why, you can frame it as taking an interest in her work and being keen to meet her colleagues. Take the initiative and plan a happy hour where you can ask her to invite her colleagues, including this guy. Perhaps bring some of your colleagues. If it’s a place where you’re well known, all the better.

Get to know the guy, buy him a beer, and become friendly with him. Ask him about his work, and about rowing, or whatever he’s got going on right now. Talk about guy shit. When your girl asks you about him, just say “he seems like a nice guy” and smile, then move on to something else.

Once you put yourself on his level and start to view him as a peer, you’ll be less intimidated by him.

[–]RedPillGlasses7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

This is mate guarding, and is fucking retarded.

“He seems like a nice guy”

Wtf dude, why doesn’t he just tell her that he’s scared of him.

[–]JoeBuckYourslf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because it is fucking retarded.

[–]part_wolf0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I see your point, but it’s not mate guarding if the goal is to simply to meet the guy and introduce himself to her coworkers. This only works if he’s able to relate to Chad and maintains a confident frame, which can help him feel less insecure. I recognize that it could backfire, but this has worked for me in the past. Your mileage may vary.

[–]arm_candy4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

It is absolutely mate guarding to ask to meet this random fucking guy just because he’s in a picture with your girl. If he were 5’1” and fat would you “want to meet him”?

You especially can’t claim you aren’t advocating mate guarding when you throw out that lame “he seems like a nice guy” line. I get that you think you could pull this off and she wouldn’t see the mate guarding, but you’re wrong. This behavior is utterly incongruent with someone who doesn’t care about the other guy.

[–]RedPillGlasses1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Agreed, on the unlikely chance that part_wolf isn’t trying to mate guard, there’s still NO WAY she won’t perceive it as mate guarding.

And yeah, maybe it would help the guy not fuck his wife, but at the cost of his balls.

[–]arm_candy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe she’ll think part_wolf is just really attracted to Mr 6’7”.

[–]JoeBuckYourslf2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

What the fuck?

When she asks why, you leave and go to the gym and don’t respond to her hail of shitty text messages that are sure to follow.

Sounds like a good start for OP.

Instead he’s playing with himself, googling how he can make himself grow to be 6’8” to impress his LTR.

[–]part_wolf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I admit I worded this poorly, but the suggestion was basically to have a beer with the guy and then fucking forget about him.

[–]madali01 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

At the end of that, maybe you can also have sex with him

[–]coinbaserep0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

....and then once your all very comfortable invite him back to your place and sit in the corner with your dick in your hand while you watch him “row his boat up her stream “

Don’t forget to take notes



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