CMV: Masturbating to porn is healthier than casual sex

lilsaihah · 2019-12-04T13:47:58+00:00

It seems like you've kind of rigged the question.

"Casual sex is bad because you might get chopped up, stuffed in a bag and thrown into a lake."

"But you're not allowed to talk about the bad outcomes attached to porn!"

I mean, I agree with the fundamental premise that casual sex is bad and people in general should probably stick to, at the very least, steady and trustworthy sexual partners; if you were to stack sexual activity, LTR>FWB>Masturbation>ONS. But the question's a bit dodgy.

Gravel_Roads · 2019-12-04T14:30:59+00:00

Everything in moderation, and everything with good reason, sure, masturbation is also cheaper and more custom-kink friendly :D.

Anything done to excess tends to cause problems -- My mother had to fire a woman at our rafting business once because she had a legit chronic masturbation problem and kept touching herself at work. I'd call that unequivocally unhealthy. The dudes who masturbate to procrastinate from improving their lives are engaging in unhealthy behaviors.

But nah, especially for dudes who are unpleasant company an bad at sex, it's probably more humane to just keep your weird shit to itself.

CainPrice · 2019-12-04T16:19:15+00:00

In order for this CMV to be true, we have to accept, as a given, that the OP's priorities, values, and philosophy are all true and correct. Only if we accept these rules as true does the CMV make any sense.

For example "Casual sex is wrong" - why? Because Jesus says so? Because Queen Victoria and puritan US settlers said so? Because conservative politicians said so? Because OP can't get laid and doesn't want anyone else having fun?

There was a time when drinking out of the same water fountain as a black person was considered wrong, unhealthy, and disgusting.

The term "wrong" immediately places this CMV into the realm of personal opinion. Debating deeply-rooted personal values that are unlikely to be open to change.

"Casual sex is ... unhealthy" - Sex is very healthy and has numerous benefits. Sex also carries many risks such as disease and pregnancy, though these risks can be greatly reduced to the point of near-insignificance through use of oral contraceptives, barrier contraceptives, and pulling out. Like any hobby or habit, there are mental health factors as well if done irresponsibly or by the wrong kind of people. For example, porn/masturbation, done irresponsibly by the wrong people, also comes with mental health problems. As does video games. Alcohol. Internet use. And so on.

"Casual sex ... degrades both men and women" - how? Why? Because priests tell us that sex is sinful and dirty? How does the act of having sexual intercourse "degrade" a person?

"...by reducing sex to a kind of business transaction" - Business transaction? Nobody is paying money or exchanging goods and services for casual sex. People who like each other, are horny, and think the other person is hot and fun are hooking up. There's no transaction here. It's just people connecting and using sex to do it.

"... as opposed to [sic] intimate act of love" - Sex is very intimate. The very reason people have casual sex instead of masturbating is the involvement of the other person. The opportunity to connect with another human. The idea that the only valid way to connect with a partner is love and marriage and that other kinds of connections are "business transactions" is bizarre.

"Casual sex ... sets [sic] bad example" - To who? Did you put a camera in my house? Who the hell is watching people have casual sex and learning from this example?

"...by focusing on [sic] superficiality of the act/orgasm rather than [sic] deeper emotional connection" - I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that you're not married or in a serious relationship. Because when you fuck your love-partner, and I mean really fuck, out of want for each other, you are fucking, not having a "deeper emotional connection". And there is nothing superficial about the act. You can love your partner, and fuck your partner. Or just love your partner. Or just fuck your partner.

And this require accepting as a given that "deeper emotional connection" is somehow automatically better than having sex with your partner. Only a tiny minority of mentally ill humans would want to be in a completely sexless but "deep emotional connection" relationship with a partner. Given the choice, a sexual relationship is as important, if not moreso. To both sexes.

"The only upside to casual sex is short-term validation" - and physical pleasure, fun, connection with another human, learning cool sex techniques to use with future partners, not to mention all of the physical health benefits of sex.

"casual sex ... does ... damage to society" - how, exactly? If people are having lots and lots of sex instead of getting married, that is a good thing. It is keeping people from marrying -for- sex. People's sexual needs are already met, which allows them to consider relationship partners for reasons other than sex rather than using relationships as their vehicle for sexual fulfillment. Having your sexual needs met outside of relationships lets you form stronger and better relationships by keeping you from using relationships as a means to have sex. Casual sex is good for society because it makes stronger relationships and keeps people from settling for inferior partners just to have someone.

andrefpsantos · 2019-12-04T14:00:45+00:00

Why not jerk off without the porn?

rus9384 · 2019-12-04T13:35:08+00:00

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XtoDoubt · 2019-12-04T14:02:26+00:00

Humans : making our necessity a virtue since the dawn of time. Men aren't choosing porn over casual sex. The choice is made for them because nobody wants to fuck them.

Eezay · 2019-12-04T14:34:32+00:00

The only upside to casual sex is short-term validation

I don't know, what about the fulfillment of your desires, the excitement, the energized feeling afterwards, the adrenaline rush, the actual fun you have? I don't know but I would choose casual sex over masturbating any day lol

Also:

Masturbating to porn is wrong and unhealthy. Besides being risky for mental health, It also degrades both men and women by reducing sex to a kind of business transaction as opposed to intimate act of love between two people. It sets bad example by focusing on superficiality of the act/orgasm rather than deeper emotional connection.

See what I did there?

tickledpic · 2019-12-04T14:40:53+00:00

Casual sex is wrong and unhealthy. Besides being risky for physical and mental health, It also degrades both men and women by reducing sex to a kind of business transaction as opposed to intimate act of love between two people.

Besides me not agreeing with your definition of casual sex, I also think that your view of sex in general is unhealthy.

So it's 15 000 years in the past. I'm sexually attracted to a woman. She is sexually attracted to me. Nobody forced this attraction, it just happened.

I let her know I like her. She let's me know she likes me. We start having sex.

It's a time before agriculture. How can our relationship be reduced to a business transaction if the idea of a business doesn't exist yet?

And by what criteria have you determined that we won't find other mutual desires, wants, goals? Does responding to your bodies sexual reactions to other people, prevent you from developing a relationship that has more than sex in it?

CharlerBubbenstein · 2019-12-04T13:49:58+00:00

For the body definitely yes.

For the mind definitely not. Unless you are a thot or some player guy, in which case you should definitely consider jerking more.

wekacuck · 2019-12-04T14:13:20+00:00

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SaveRadioshack · 2019-12-04T19:53:38+00:00

You... you can’t be serious with this, right? You honestly don’t see the glaring issue in your argument?

You’re saying that casual sex is bad, because it’s degrading to men and women and turning sex into a “business transaction” (which makes absolutely no sense at all, but not the point here)

..then you go on to say that the better alternative is literally jacking off to sex that is LITERALLY a business transaction that was created to degrade men and women.

My dude, I feel for any women you’ve had sexual encounters with if you think that porn is more dignified and constantly watching it leaves you with more humanity than being with an actual human being.

dmoneycrowgod · 2019-12-04T14:17:31+00:00

[deleted]

DisastrousMeaning1 · 2019-12-04T14:35:46+00:00

This is applicable only to men.

For men, casual sex is healthier than masturbation because with casual sex, the man doesn't get pornsick and possible ED.

With casual sex, he retains his essential humanity. Men who resort to masturbation to porn do so because they can't get women to have sex with them. If he could get a woman to have sex with him on the regular, he would most likely avoid porn. Casual sex is more validating for a man's psyche and soul, even casual one nighters interspersed over months. Porn and involuntary celibacy just slowly destroys a man, eats away at him from the inside out. He becomes less human. He's still a living organism. He eats, drinks, pisses, shits, sleeps, works, and functions. But he's less human. He's less of a human being and more a soulless automaton. Inc*ldom drives him insane from the inside out. It dulls and kills what separates him from all other animals because it robs him of his soul and personality and that which makes him a unique human being.

I'm not saying that anyone has to fix this for a particular man, or for men in general. I'm saying that it's not true that masturbation is healthier for men than casual sex, because it isn't. Casual sex is better than masturbation for men, because for men, casual sex is better than no sex, and because inc*l status renders a man less human.

wtknight · 2019-12-04T15:14:20+00:00

I think most of the opinions are based on the thought that porn is more likely to be an addiction. I strongly dislike casual sex myself, but even I think that a porn addiction is most likely less psychological healthy than occasional casual sex. Of course, I think that if the assumption is that the frequency is similar (porn addiction vs casual sex addiction or occasional porn vs occasional casual sex), then it’s obvious that casual sex is unhealthier, although I’m sure there are lots of free love “sex is fun” people who would disagree with me.

dylang92 · 2019-12-04T15:27:58+00:00

Honestly, I disagree. Porn has a lot of bad side effects which can include finding it more difficult to feel pleasure when you actually have sex, creating an unrealistic expectation of sex, and yes can cause people to have more and crazier kinks as the porn gets old at some point.

Casual sex, while can cause problems with validation and self worth, I don’t think it’s “immoral” as long as you aren’t claiming that you absolutely want a relationship and just pump and dump them. Plenty of women are down to have a ONS, even women not down to do it are fine doing it as long as they find the guy hot. Are you going to tell me all those women on tinder aren’t looking for dick? Casual sex honestly isn’t that bad, the only people suffering from the issues of it are the ones not getting it at all. This is really only a male problem though.

jayval90 · 2019-12-04T18:35:46+00:00

Both are bad. You should just get married at a younger age, and actually commit to each other instead of trying to "experience the world first." Do that shit together. Grow up together.

PS, we also kind of need children to support our world. Granted that single motherhood completely offsets the gains of having sex, but traditionally we'd put the two together in a shotgun marriage. With porn, we're suffering from population decline.

phlegmdawg · 2019-12-04T18:59:04+00:00

Your premise that casual sex is always a bad thing, as if it’s some universal truth, is incorrect. You’re welcome to your opinion on the matter and to seek out someone who feels the same, but this is a matter of personal perspective.

It is your personal belief that transactional sex is a bad thing, but even in LTRs, sex can be transactional as well. How do you account for that?

Each encounter is different because each person is different. There are precautions that can be taken to make casual relationships just as “safe“ as LTRs.

On a basic human decency level, casuals are obliged to be efficient communicators with the other person involved. If both convey their intentions/STD status from the start and are in agreement as to how they’d handle unfortunate side effects (pregnancy/feelings), then this is a matter only concerning them. There is nothing wrong with sex outside of an LTR. Not everyone bangs to form attachments, to some it’s just a good time.

2019-12-04T13:31:58+00:00

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geyges · 2019-12-04T15:58:04+00:00

Why not a bit of both, mix it up, keep it interesting...

the-red_woman · 2019-12-04T16:01:28+00:00

I agree with the premise BUT if you really do it for health reason it is obviously better to use your imagination to jack off, or if that’s too hard read some erotica, look at a photo etc. all much healthier then porn.

RudePercentage5 · 2019-12-04T17:34:45+00:00

Maybe don't use the porn at all? Kinda sucks if you start needing it to get off while masturbating.

bonslytoss · 2019-12-04T18:32:13+00:00

I agree with you that casual sex is bad. I even agree with you that masturbation is healthy and normal (in moderation). Where I disagree is on porn, at least for men.

Porn for men is highly addictive. Porn is often used as a substitute for companionship, which it can never really be. Porn weakens a mans' ability to pair bond. These are just the points that I think are persuasive, I'm not even getting into my personally held morals like degrading women and fueling a sex industry that ruins the teenage years of thousands of women.

What else can I say to persuade you? What have I put forth that you don't understand/disagree with?

vinovladykov · 2019-12-04T19:00:50+00:00

The peace of mind I have now with the lifetime pornhub premium subscription I got on Black Friday is unbelievable.

CatchPhraze · 2019-12-05T10:40:23+00:00

I agree, I think occasional masturbation several times a week but probably not every day is a good outlet for young men and a lot safer then casual sex.

However because of porn's effect on mentality of sex, I'd hope to refrain kids under 14 from using it but that's a pipedream.

Emotional-Purpose · 2019-12-07T18:35:48+00:00

I don't think either of those things are bad at all. Obviously casual sex involves another person, and things always get more complicated when there's another person. I don't think casual sex is a good thing, personally, but wouldn't call it degrading. Human beings have sex, and sometimes that's not with someone they aren't in a committed relationship... nothing wrong with that.

churnthrowaway123456 · 2019-12-04T13:51:33+00:00

Attachment is a good thing. That right there makes casual sex better than masturbating to porn.

Disease and pregnancy can be avoided pretty easily. Trauma and drama are just a matter of being smart in your choice of partner.

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2019-12-04T16:05:33+00:00

The fact that in this culture, it is normal (almost expected) for pubescent boys to watch and pleasure themselves to videos of women being beaten up, raped, sodomised, even urinated on, usually by force, is horrific.

The fact that in this culture, it is normal (almost expected) for elderly men to watch and pleasure themselves to teenagers roleplaying as daughters, babysitters, cheerleaders, schoolgirls, is horrific.

Do not normalise pornography. It’s not normal. It’s not healthy.

2019-12-04T14:01:10+00:00

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sadomasochrist · 2019-12-04T15:10:17+00:00

It also degrades both men and women by reducing sex to a kind of business transaction as opposed to intimate act of love between two people.

In my observation this is a negative for women and a positive for men. We call this unplugging.

Mindfullgent · 2019-12-04T15:38:13+00:00

Once porn become addiction it gets worrying....that can never be the same as with casual sex as it become frequent and then not as spark inducing

barbodelli · 2019-12-04T16:02:41+00:00

Why are we even discussing this?

Theres a ton of reasons why eating lettuce and vegetables is better than candy and ice cream. Guess what our animal brains still prefer candy ice cream in most situations. Its not a choice its just who we are. Almost anyone in a position where they have to choose looking at porn or having consentual sex with an attractive partner will choose the latter. For the same reasons its simply more rewarding.

2019-12-04T16:07:49+00:00

Actually porn is unhealthy, it’s causing a high rate of millennials to require the use of boner pills

MVenture · 2019-12-04T16:52:58+00:00

Just a question to clarify: your definition of casual sex would include sex with a sex worker. Is that intended?

lonelinessmademecave · 2019-12-04T17:00:30+00:00

You don’t get to choose what’s healthy. Your consciousness is just an interpreter for the limbic system. It’s healthy for men to have sex. Because we were designed to need it in order to maintain mental stability. A man not getting any is eventually less functional, less sociable than his counterpart.

Thinkingard · 2019-12-04T18:10:33+00:00

The culture is broken when it comes to masturbation. NoFap takes it too far and is ultimately no different than my evangelical church. Tons of guys are highly addicted. The truth is you have to eventually be okay with the fact that you are a sexual being and your sexual desires are valid. If that means you have to fap every now and then so be it. Do it and then stop feeling guilty afterward. If you want casual sex go for it because a) no one can stop you and b) it may force you to improve because you need to become attractive to even have casual sex.

catsaresoft23 · 2019-12-04T18:16:21+00:00

Eh, I think FWB with mature enough people to handle it, and who stay safe, use protection, and get tested regularly is fine. I like to be friends with people too, but sometimes we fuck haha. Masturbation sometimes isn’t equivalent to dick 🤷‍♀️ I connect with my friends as well this way

bonusfruit · 2019-12-04T19:30:59+00:00

Porn and masturbation, especially with instant access free internet porn, is becoming a chronic habit that men develop in their teens. It leaves them lethargic, unmotivated, dopamine addled, and depressed. It has lead to the rise of the coomer meme and no nut November because men have begun to understand the harmful effects and are trying to break the habit. Casual sex is healthier than PMO

eboy4hire · 2019-12-04T19:50:14+00:00

Idk, when I jerk off I always feel like it was a waste of time after I cum. After I cum on a woman, I feel like I achieved something.

basedgrizzly · 2019-12-04T20:20:40+00:00

I honestly used to use this argument but minus the porn. Basically as a Christian I was saving myself for marriage/the one I would eventually be married to. I had a few women coming onto me that I knew I didn’t want to settle down with/ be in a relationship with but was at the same time sexually attracted to. Therefore, instead of potentially getting into trouble/involved with these women, I would just jerk one out to relieve the sexual tension and would avoid them altogether. It lowkey worked out for me, even though I’m against porn and don’t think jerking off is good-but could be the lesser of two evils, if you’re like me and are trying to abstain for the right one.

RPbull · 2019-12-04T23:19:31+00:00

Casual sex harms others and yourself. Jerkin it to porn harms you and only you.

I think society wants "beta" guys jerking it to porn that way they dont reproduce and they pay the 9's and 10's salary. It's a form of sedation in a way.

PapaPinyun · 2019-12-04T23:40:59+00:00

Has no one mentioned the uh, disease, pregnancy, trauma, drama, and manipulation that is part of porn?

Oh you just mean, for the boy in his computer chair lol

Snowboard18 · 2019-12-05T00:35:31+00:00

I half agree, I think you could honestly say both have their downsides, but I don’t think porn is healthier or more natural, sex is one of the biggest driving factors in men, if you release that urge through porn, there is no need to go make yourself a better person in attempt to get laid. Constant masturbation convinces a young mans mind that he doesn’t need to chase ass or make himself attractive because he is constantly sexually satisfied.

shoup88 · 2019-12-05T08:39:00+00:00

I don’t understand why you would choose. Just keep a healthy balance of both.

Casual sex isn’t for everyone, and shouldn’t be presented as like a one size fits all thing, but for some people casual sex can absolutely be a healthy aspect of single life.

lilpumpski · 2019-12-09T06:41:05+00:00

All about balance and risk mediation.

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diffdedbed · 2019-12-04T14:58:29+00:00

Casual sex is wrong

Judgement statement can't be really countered its just an opinion.

unhealthy

Potentially unhealthy but not unhealthy in itself. Like driving a car is dangerous. I'm also more worried about a fatal car crash than a fatal STD myself.

It also degrades both men and women by reducing sex to a kind of business transaction as opposed to intimate act of love between two people.

Another judgement unable to be countered. You say sex should be connected to love, something I disagree with. Love is love and sex is sex, loving sex is great, but sex for sexes sake is pretty good too.

It sets bad example by focusing on superficiality of the act/orgasm rather than deeper emotional connection.

Wouldn't masturbation be just as bad then?

The only upside to casual sex is short-term validation

Which is awesome.

while the risks related to personal safety

Been having causal sex for the last 17 years and am very healthy, in fact more healthy since I stay in better shape to get more casual sex.

emotional stability are much more numerous.

Thats going to vary person to person.

PMmeYourHopes-Dreams · 2019-12-04T15:42:09+00:00

No Disease
No Pregnancy
No Trauma or Drama
No Manipulation or Attachment

You forgot that its cheap

LadyE123 · 2019-12-04T15:56:44+00:00

Masturbation to porn, aka filmed prostitution, has many negative effects:

Most porn, mainstream, popular porn, centers around the degradation, humiliation, dehumanization, pain and suffering of vulnerable women. It demands that those women also act enthusiastically about their dehumanization to absolve men's egos from feeling guilty about deriving pleasure from the dehumanization of another person.
Porn normalizes sexual behaviors that hurt, dehumanize, humiliate women (anal, violent fellatio, and other disgusting things that most women are not interested in for good reason).
Porn rewires the brain so that when men/young men get into actual relations with women/young women, they are unable to become or maintain arousal because they are used to supernormal stimuli. Many times the replaying of prostitution scenes in his head is needed for him to achieve erection even when he is with a real woman.
Erectile dysfunction.

Casual sex is also bad because of the reasons you state.

Interesting that you can see clearly how casual sex is dehumanizing but not how filmed prostitution is. Methinks you've got a blindspot. Filmed prostitution ruins one's sexuality when in fact you do get a LTR.

tl;dr: Porn leads to the normalization of sexual practices and ideas that hurt female humans. It also ruins ones sexuality and functional sexual health. Your sexuality becomes a wholly-owned subsidiary of the rapacious filmed prostitution industry which hates humanity and only cares about money.

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Title	CMV: Masturbating to porn is healthier than casual sex
Author	geyges
Upvotes	94
Comments	289
Date	December 4, 2019 1:22 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/e5z5ab/cmv_masturbating_to_porn_is_healthier_than_casual/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-masturbating-to-porn-is-healthier-than-casual.297762 https://theredarchive.com/post/297762