Just trying to get a check here.

Been on a few dates with this girl. Tried having sex this time and last. We are on completely different speeds and I cannot stay hard for the life of me. Like she'll go down on me and I'll lose the erection. It's just so fucking boring bland, unexciting, horrible blowjob. Like I'd rather just do it myself. I try to get into it, and grab her hair and treat her like a submissive, which she claims she likes to be, but she just has no idea how to be sexy and it honestly feels like work, like I'm babysitting. I just lose all interest.

Is this a me thing or a her thing?

Thnx