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Ghosted my ex - gf and she’s contacting me 4 months later for closure

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watchguy45
December 6, 2019
82 upvotes
askTRP

Hi everyone,

I had a girlfriend for about 6 months who I ghosted because she was being disrespectful and a bitch for the last couple weeks of the relationship. She’s now contacting me 4 months later asking for closure.

I don’t want anything from her, no sex, friendship nothing. But I feel bad that I ghosted her and I’ve obviously been on her mind.

Do I reply and give her the peace she’s looking for? I do believe she’s a good person and want her to move on and find her beta husband someday. I really could care less what she thinks of me. I just don’t want drama or bad karma .

Thanks


Post Information
Title Ghosted my ex - gf and she’s contacting me 4 months later for closure
Author watchguy45
Upvotes 82
Comments 123
Date 06 December 2019 01:32 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/297999
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/e6re49/ghosted_my_ex_gf_and_shes_contacting_me_4_months/
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Comments

[–]sosman1068 points69 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s not closure, she thought you would orbit her. You had the balls to say fuck her completely. When you first ghosted her she didn’t feel it. Chances are you impacted her on an emotional level when you were with her and you were genuinely a high value man to her. You left, at the beginning she didn’t think nothing of it, but time passed and she realized that not only are you not an orbiter but she is having an extremely difficult time coming across guys that are like you or resemble you. Remember, yes women can easily get guys, but that doesn’t always mean they are high value like you my brother. Stand firm.

[–]mickey__23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

Remember, yes women can easily get guys, but that doesn’t always mean they are high value like you my brother. Stand firm.

well put

[–]whammyface291 points292 points  (24 children) | Copy

She’s not contacting you for closure. She’s contacting you because the flow of male attention has temporarily stopped for whatever reason.

[–][deleted]  (17 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]anxietyriddledbuddah2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Damn bro, did she hurt you too?

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]anxietyriddledbuddah0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It's ok bro. She can't hurt you no longer.

[–]Helmet_Icicle5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bingo.

Closure is a 100% internal process, you don't need someone else to perform it.

[–]HurricaneHugues2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

No, she's contacting him because she no longer gas his attention.

[–]whammyface8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

It took her 4 months of no contact to realize she didn’t have his attention anymore? Please. She was acting like a bitch at the end of the relationship because another guy was already in the picture.

[–]HurricaneHugues8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

She figured he'd come back around. You underestimate a woman's need for validation and attention. To you as a man you can't logically come to terms with how pathetic chicks can be when it comes to being acknowledged and validated

[–]whammyface9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is something I’ve known since I was a kid. And my first comment was literally saying she’s doing this because her source of male attention has tried up for whatever reason... most likely the same source of male attention (deemed better in her mind) that caused her to lose interest In OP in the first place. so now she’s reaching out.

[–]northernCAgrown0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yuuuuuuuuuuuuup, always.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper50 points51 points  (3 children) | Copy

Don't give women "closure". Just leave.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

its as if all the newbies dont even look at the sidebar.

[–]AbusiveFather14 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

am newbie, can confirm; I just subbed to trp, thinking it would make me successful - I don't even read it!

[–]2319Skew0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Can confirm. Since I subbed my lifts have gone through the roof. Didn't even need to read.

[–]NO_TIP_JUST_SHAFT30 points31 points  (2 children) | Copy

Never give her closure.

Don't give a damn about her feelings, she didn't care about yours when she was acting bitchy. And she won't care about them in the future. Don't give her the validation she wants.

We, men, tend to forget pretty fast how badly she was behaving, we always somehow think about the good times if we still care. For women it's the opposite, if the LTR ends on a bad note, the whole thing was shit.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Preach. These are some true words.

[–]MGTOWAlfa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is the gospel bro

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]NO_TIP_JUST_SHAFT11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very good...

Couldn't have said it better.

[–]HurricaneHugues8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Even a year later he was still asking to see me. At first I agreed, but then I thought what the hell? Why waste time on wack old boyfriends? I'm living my best life now and he doesn't deserve me" - Her, having drinks with her friends the night she ghosted you

[–]Snowaey3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, it's all about attention and validation..

[–]tripmepls152 points153 points  (10 children) | Copy

Hell no. Do you think she would give you closure? You don’t owe her shit.

[–]falconiawillfall89 points90 points  (4 children) | Copy

Yep, a chick in OP's position would be ruthless to her ex

[–]Sad_Sleeper35 points36 points  (3 children) | Copy

Been on the other side can confirm.

[–]theeverydayhustle22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy

Been on the other side can double confirm.

[–]AWALT991 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Another confirmation

[–]theherosmyth5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

So you base your behavior off of what women would do?

[–]TFWnoLTR9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're missing the point. The fact that a woman wouldn't give closure means women aren't actually looking for closure when they reach out like this.

It's like when a feminist woman asks if you're a feminist "just to start a conversation". They're not actually trying to start a conversation about political perspectives, they're just trying to put you into their frame.

Ignore what women say and watch what they do. It's not rocket appliances.

[–]theherosmyth-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or she wouldn't because she's a vindictive cunt who thinks that's a little victory.

And I don't think that's what he meant. Sounded like a tit for tat approach. But to your point.

Don't get me wrong I think there is more to it, given the amount of time between the break up and her reaching out. But I'd just shoot her a little text telling her the reason (on the off chance that she wanted to know) and make it clear that I'm not interested in discussing it and that the conversation is over. Even if she wanted to try and get in my head she has nowhere to go from there without exposing her intentions.

[–]lazydogg923 points24 points  (2 children) | Copy

Closure is a female thing meant to fuck up the man's mind and cause confusion.

Why isn't she blocked from everything?

[–]theeverydayhustle17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Closure is gaslighting by females

[–]volvostupidshit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree. I have npd and I always use closure as an excuse to fuck over my ex's minds. And then I move on.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you think she feels bad for you, at all?

[–]muricanwerewolf151 points52 points  (20 children) | Copy

In my opinion, you lose nothing by giving her what she wants, especially if you want nothing from her. There's very little risk for you if that's your attitude. But...

Rarely, in my experience, is the person who's asking for closure really asking why for their own peace of mind. It's usually a ploy to wrangle that other person back into an emotional attachment. The hope is that you'll go out for a drink or something "to talk about it" or at least have an emotional phone call. I mean, you pulled a RP move right out of the playbook guaranteed to goose her hamster, a good thing she had going cut out for what she perceived as no reason. She's gonna be wondering how she can earn it back.

Also, from a male, rational perspective, closure is bullshit for two reasons. One, closure comes from within. Nobody can give it to you, you just have to decide the thing that was bothering you doesn't bother you anymore. There's really no words that you can say to do that for her.

Second, any reason a person gives you for why they did what they did is going to be bullshit, especially when it comes to romantic entanglements. Like what, are you really gonna say "Well, you were being kind of bitchy and I realized your snizz wasn't worth the bullshit so I figured the easiest way to get rid of you was ghosting because in this society, ghosting is acceptable and I kinda knew if I decided wanted you back it's the easiest way to make you come to me with your tail tucked". No way. Unless one is feeling truly vindictive, we (men and women) are gonna undersell our own contempt for the other party, to spare their feelings.

[–]Tousen7125 points26 points  (3 children) | Copy

Fuck that we hard on these hoes for 2020.

[–]RedPill20181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

THE ANTHEM

[–]MGTOWAlfa1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Chuuch

[–]watchguy45[S] 15 points16 points  (11 children) | Copy

This is great insight. Thank you.

She is very emotional and can be very dramatic. I ghosted her mainly as a way to hammer red pill teachings into my head.

I’ve really could care less about her, perhaps I just want relieve the guilt I have.

[–]muricanwerewolf110 points11 points  (7 children) | Copy

Oh thank you. I mean, some guys on here don't think you can be red pill and care about people at the same time, but I don't really bag on the impulse to be kind to people if it's not in the context of sexual strategy. So while I dig the impulse I just don't think either of you are gonna get what you want from this interaction, since what she really wants you're unwilling to give her. That said maybe you can make it real for her you're just not interested, and hopefully that'll get her to move on. Best case scenario, you can make it so it's not awkward if you're ever in the same room. Worst case, she turns this modicum of attention into permission to reach out a few more times.

[–]HurricaneHugues2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

"Oh thank you. I mean, some guys on here don't think you can be red pill and care about people at the same time"

How about you start caring about yourself first then. Why must you place other people's happinness and understanding above yours. She's already got the message. She kniws very well that it's over and OP has moved on. What she wants is one final act of validation from OP so that SHE can be the one to walk away from him. It's really that petty with these hoes. You wanna care about people? Start by caring for yourself.

[–]muricanwerewolf10 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Lol I already covered that, OP already has taken care of his needs. If your scenario is correct, and she feels she’s got the power back, then mission accomplished, she leaves the OP alone. If he wants to, if it makes him feel good there’s nothing wrong with talking to this woman. I agree with you, she’s looking for validation, but unlike you, I’m not mad a woman is acting like a woman.

You’re exactly the person I’m talking about, you understand what’s happening but you’re mad about it. I get the sense you want this woman punished, and for what? Acting exactly like the RP tells you she’s going to? Time to push past that red pill rage. Accept a woman is always going to act like a woman, and if you can’t be amused by it at least don’t let it bother you.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Didn't read

[–]muricanwerewolf10 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Lol I remember talking to you before, when you lost that argument you pulled the didn’t read card that time too.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I really don't read some of you guy's nonsensical replies. Who's time are you trying to waste?

[–]muricanwerewolf10 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Honestly I don’t want anybody to think the sub is represented by an angry mental midget like yourself.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's not a nice thing to say there guy. This migh hurt my feewings

[–]Son0fMan0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I’ve really could care less about her, perhaps I just want relieve the guilt I have.

If you don't care about her why do you feel guilty?

[–]watchguy45[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I believe in god.

[–]Son0fMan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

whats your point?

[–]flipdoggers1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Also, from a male, rational perspective, closure is bullshit for two reasons. One, closure comes from within. Nobody can give it to you, you just have to decide the thing that was bothering you doesn't bother you anymore. There's really no words that you can say to do that for her.

You're missing something important here though. Yes, in theory we should be able to, completely independently, generate our own happiness and closure in all situations. But in practice we live in the real world where we have certain standards for behavior, and where other's behavior actually affects our ability to feel satisfied with our mental image of the world.

If your best friend out of nowhere ghosted you, would you not want closure a bunch of months later? Maybe you're emotionally settled by now, but you're still wondering if you did something wrong without realizing, or wondering how your best friend could ghost you like that when they seemed to be such a good person who respected you, or maybe you just want to let out some feelings to them, or maybe you just want to end on good terms. Those all seem reasonable to me; I don't think TRP is about becoming an emotionless blob of stoicism where friendships don't mean anything special to you anymore.

Yeah in a lot of cases girls like this don't actually want or need closure, but I wouldn't say it's impossible. Just depends on the type of relationship she and OP had, IMO, and the type of girl she is. I've got exes who I would ignore in OP's situation, but I've also got exes who were wholesome as fuck and definitely deserved (and would make good use of) closure. In fact I did have a closure conversation with an ex once, she initiated it and had us do a guided forgiveness meditation and it helped us both feel better about each other.

[–]muricanwerewolf10 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

guided forgiveness meditation

Lol.

Yes, in theory we should be able to, completely independently, generate our own happiness and closure in all situations. But in practice we live in the real world where we have certain standards for behavior, and where other's behavior actually affects our ability to feel satisfied with our mental image of the world.

Nope. You’re responsible for your own emotions. Nobody else. And your inability to accept the world on its own terms is a problem personal to you. I’m perfectly comfortable having a relationship fail without needing a complete debrief, I’m ok not knowing everything. Seeking closure from a source outside yourself is an attempt to satisfy an insecurity “what did I do wrong?”. It’s healthier to accept you won’t know everything.

You also seem to have ignored my second point, which is related. People are full of shit. They say things just to save your feelings, or paint themselves in a better light. They’re unlikely to tell you the reason things didn’t work out (she got tired of your shitty breath, her ex boyfriend started texting again, your need for validation dried her pussy like bounty) and instead try to tell you something that gives you the warm fuzzies and smooth over any friction. Your warm fuzzies are likely based on bullshit. Learn to not need bullshit to get through life.

[–]flipdoggers1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s healthier to accept you won’t know everything.

There's a difference between not knowing everything, and knowing nothing, being ghosted randomly during an intimate relationship.

Oh your second point is spot on, it's not necessarily going to actually provide the girl valuable insight. But it could still be important emotionally for her growth and ability to move on while having a positive view of the world (which is huge for enjoying life). It's healthier to think you live in a world where people treat you with respect and dignity than to think you live in a world of assholes who ghost you after becoming close with you. It's just healthier in general to have connections with people who treat you well, it's wired into us to want reliable + caring + valuable friends and you'll never escape that :). Personally I get a lot of mental comfort out of the massive friend circle I've made over the years including being on good terms with most of my exes.

[–]fitness43931 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In my opinion, you lose nothing by giving her what she wants, especially if you want nothing from her. There's very little risk for you if that's your attitude.

On your shit as per usual.

[–]ViolentInteger20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy

There are good reasons to ghost & hard-next someone, but more often than not, people do it for emotional reasons. When that happens, a red flag should pop up in your mind that your frame isn't as strong as it should be. Men with strong frames don't lash out emotionally.

One of the other key points of RP theory is that you should always be doing what YOU want. Other people's desires and expectations should have no bearing on you. So the fact that she wants this from you shouldn't influence your decision. That said, you may feel that you need to fix your previous mistake because you acted emotionally. In that case, there's nothing wrong with giving her a short response. "I moved on 6 months ago because you were being disrespectful and realized that we are not a good match for each other. There's nothing else to talk about. I wish you the best of luck." Don't get drawn into an argument.

Or don't respond at all! As long as you're making the decision for the right reason (i.e.: operating in your own frame), there's no wrong move here.

[–]big_river7730 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Best answer

[–]theherosmyth0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. I wouldn't give her the opportunity to play any games on me or to get me emotionally attached again. So no meeting up, no calling. I'd text her the reason in case she really wanted to know. That doesn't take anything away from me. She now has the information she claims she was looking for. Any further discussion or whatever is not happening. Done.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"There are good reasons to ghost & hard-next someone, but more often than not, people do it for emotional reasons. When that happens, a red flag should pop up in your mind that your frame isn't as strong as it should be. Men with strong frames don't lash out emotionally."

Indifference towards somebody's existence is not "lashing out emotionally". Absent of all emotions, you're indifferent. That's what ghosting is about. Her existence is meaningless

[–]Acapulcox41 points42 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you want to, but you don’t owe her anything.

[–]theherosmyth10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

All the "don't give her closure, don't give a fuck about her feelings like she didn't give a fuck about yours" in the comments sounds pretty vindictive and reactive to me.

As a man, you decide what you tolerate. You have boundaries, and if people cross them, there will be consequences. She thought she could dump her emotional baggage on you, and you said fuck that. You did what you had to do.

But all this "hah fuck this bitch this will show her" kinda shows you haven't gotten over it yet.

I'd text her the reason. If she really wanted to know, she has her answer. I wouldn't meet up or call to give her the opportunity to play emotional head games.

Just a text. That doesn't take anything away from you but the minute it might take to write it.

"For what it's worth the beginning of the relationship was fine, but I broke contact with you because you did X Y Z the last few weeks we were together. That kind of behavior is unacceptable to me and I'm not interested in spending time with someone who thinks it's okay to disrespect me like that. That's all I have to say about it. Anyway good luck to you, I wish you the best."

And I'd leave it at that. Will it land? Will she accept a rational response? Probably not, but that's not even the point of this. My concern is the place it's coming from for you. This to me is the best way to show you don't give a fuck. Not because you want her to think that. But because that's the mental attitude you want to operate from.

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

"I'd text her the reason. If she really wanted to know, she has her answer."

That's the thing though, she doesn't actually want to "know" anything! She just wants OP's validation of her existence to orove to herself that he hasn't moved on. The medium in this case would be the message. Him acknowledging her would be the message that he would send. It really wouldn't matter if he explained his reasoning, or cursed her out, or asked ger out, or even just said hello. All that matters to her is that he gives her attention and acknowledges his existence.

The truth is that, if the shoe was on the other foot, she wouldn't even bother with OP, abd would even trash him to her friends or subliminally on social media.

[–]theherosmyth0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I see it differently I suppose. I can definitely picture situations where if someone chooses to ignore the other person completely it comes across as more butthurt than to just give it a small nonchalant reply like it actually doesn't affect you. And even if she was just trying to get me to acknowledge her to prove something to herself, let her. I'd just laugh it off. Have what you think is a little victory. How stupid do you have to be to think you actually proved a point by getting me to reply to something.

If I saw my ex walking somewhere and I greeted her and she walked right by me as if I don't exist I'd know something was still up moreso than that she came across as truly doing her own thing and talking to me for 15 seconds really doesn't change her day or her mood one way or the other.

And I don't really care what she'd do in the same situation. Let bitches do what bitches do. I act from my own perspective.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Didn't read any of that. It's called moving on.

[–]teka71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

this answer/guy gets it!

[–]beginner_3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I once had a GF write me a letter 1.5 years after break up telling me she isn't coming back and I can move on. While this was years ago the internet did exist and she did have my email address. Yet she decided to ask around for my new address (don't know how else she figured it out) and sent the letter. I suspect she was talking to a therapist and that was the therapists idea. (she had issues...). And for those wondering I obviously didn't reply.

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking LOL. YOU are the one who hasn't moved on, not her writing you an actual letter 1.5 years after no contact. Bitches be crazy man.

[–]sncvc1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've heard of this exact shit before. She was 150% advised to do this by a therapist. Talk about dodging a bullet, man. JFC.

[–]alleyteris6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

You dont owe her jack shit. What women call " closure" is jat a way for her to do 2 things:

1) give her an ego boost ,that she still matters to you

2) to convince her hamster to demonise you and make this all your fault

In her mind she knows she was wrong and deserved ghosting so this is a A last minute attempt to convice her own mind that it was all your fault and not hers.

[–]northernCAgrown12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her closure could just be to choke on your dick one more time.

If that's not interesting to you then there's no point in helping her get closure.

If you feel that bad, handle it over text.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Closure is Bullshit

[–]CimGoodFella0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is it.

[–]ma-agentz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her cock carrousel is slowing down

[–]L2diy4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

No such thing as karma. She disrespected you and the ghosting was closure. Only see her if you want to. She doesn’t deserve it.

[–]DeficientDeity1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Attempted manipulation strategy

[–]bittr_n_swt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The fact that she contacted you 4 months later and not soon enough suggests she didn’t really care for your relationship.

She just wants attention. Don’t give it to her

[–]RPNorvell[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No. There is absolutely no upside. Focus on your own path, you owe her nothing.

[–]RPthrowaway1231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ignore. Nothing good can come of it!

[–]30DaystoSolstice1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Keep it moving champ

[–]IXseed1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you don't wanna fuck her why are you even acknowledging her existence?

The "closure" she's looking for is that she can still control you, using that as validation for her ego. Leave that bitch on read.

[–]Don_Draper271 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don't owe her anything.

You're doing her a favor by ghosting her and going NC because you're forcing her to only look forward and hopefully find someone else that better aligns with her.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There are some girls you've been with that deserve to get "closure" but this is not one of them. The types that deserve kindness and warmth after the fact are the kinds you didn't want to leave but had to. The kinds that were good to you and worked to obtain and keep your trust. These are not girls that you get up and ghost one day.

One in particular that I knew, if she contacted me I would reply 100% of the time. She knew not to ever play games with me and she helped me through some really rough spots in my life. One of maybe two people in life I would say I trust, maybe the only. If she needed anything I could help with or just to talk I'd be there. This girl does not sound like the one I'm describing, you don't help these girls "move on", they just want validation. The dead don't come back. You're a ghost.

[–]Guarnerre19951 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can be another fuckboy and let her forget you. But one thing I know out of experience. Once you hit women on that deep emotional level, and still be able to next them in an instant, they WILL pursue the fuck out of you. Because once they see all these beta cucks out there only trying to fuck, she WILL miss you, thats the point they will regrett.

Sad is, also the point any high value male has forgotten she even existed

[–]dzkkne1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Whatever she told you, just say that everything is fine and it’s no big deal. That she shouldn’t take it personally...

That will mess with her

[–]HurricaneHugues2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

What is messing with her is OP's indifference towards her. No need to fix what's not broken.

[–]dzkkne0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agree with not taking any action. One of the key TRP truths I have found for myself is in how many situation- taking no action is the right thing to do.

[–]skippyleg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In my beta days I will tell you what helped most when I was dumped - if you respect this girl and don’t want to hurt her more, don’t give her closure.

Since you don’t care what she thinks of you she’ll see you as a dick — but really you’re helping her out. If you reach out to her you’re gonna open up an emotional rabbit hole for her and she’s just going to be even more upset.

Also closure isn’t really closure. Closure happened when you ghosted. Doesn’t matter why — what mattered is that you were done talking to her. She will eventually move on.

Just keep focusing on you man.

[–]mysticplaces1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ghosting is my favorite form of passive-aggressive behavior. Absolutely no need to go off the rails or thermonuclear (worst case scenario) when you can provide exile and isolation; such treatment has proven incredibly troubling to the human psyche. No need to make yourself look unstable when you only provide enough slack in the rope for them to hang themselves.

I am always reminded of Kafka’s The Trial in cases like these. A story where a man is imprisoned and awaiting trial while never being made aware of his accusations. Ghosting someone when they’re completely unaware of what they’ve done wrong. They simply can’t do anything other than question every single aspect of their character, each word muttered, every possible action which could have brought forth this scenario.

[–]JediKnight912 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

A lot of the misogynistic reaponses here getting upvotes really give TRP a bad name in my opinion. My advice is to give her the closure she seeks. You’re in the power position. She cannot compell you to back together or do anything else. You guys were together for 6 months. Worst that can happen if you talk to her is that she gains insight into why you cut her off, and she becomes a better person for it. Keeping her ghosted just gives the world another “feminist” woman who thinks she has a reason to hate and distrust men. You would not have done anything to disprove that. Don’t give her that reason. If she was really your gf, I think ghosting her is cowardly. You’re a man. Be a man and confront her. Don’t have to do it in person. Not saying you are a coward; if you seek to be the best version of yourself, then facing uncomfortable situations is often a necessary step. Been there myself. I know it is tough! Good luck!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you realize that not responding to someone also sends a powerful message? If she is smart enough, she'll figure out that he is not responding because her behaviour was insufferable to the point where he can no longer even acknowledge her or give her time of day to say anything.

Granting a woman's request for closure will not make any of us more of a man. There is no confronting for him or any of us to do in situations such as these. If she was awful to you in a relationship, do that Tupac said "just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on."

You do not reward poor behaviour.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Four months? Avoid. It will only end in tears.

[–]2redhawkes0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck that noize.

It's just a stupid ego game, she wants the upper hand. Keep ghosting forever.

[–]oldslut0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

unless, for some reason, you want to fuck her again, keep ghosting. why should you give a shit what she wants?

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Even if he wanted to fuck her, the answer would still be the same, and that's to maintain the ghosting. OP will make a fucking fool out of himself thinking she's actually down to hook up, but then at the last minute she will ghost/cancel on him, making her the one with the last weird. And OP will never hear from her again.

Stop thinking with your dick.

[–]H_Crush0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why don't you do what you want? It's pretty easy: if you don't care, just send her nonchalant/low investment short messages and give her the closure. She may reach out even more and you may fuck her again. But really, investment to the minimum, even if it becomes obvious you are going to fuck, don't let her pull you into her bullshit. It's a good challenge.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When you don't care about something, do you devote time and attention to it?

[–]Rimefang0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do whatever you want. It's your life.

[–]Crixusgannicus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

" she was being disrespectful and a bitch "

She got what she had coming to her.

ANY response from you means she gets LESS than what she had coming to her.

Even if it's ok with you that she gets LESS than what she had coming to her, don't let that happen for the sake of your fellow men.

I say again MEN.Not the betas. FUCK the betas.

[–]VaN__Darkholme0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What helps me get through any of these past situations is this statement that someone said on this sub, "A dog that goes back to eat its own vomit". Just fuck it and move on.

[–]janaheyiloveyou0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Blocked a girl i was pursuing and she didnt reciprocate anything.. She sat next to me in the cafteria today.. I didnt give a shit.. She even left after i responded coldly and i didnt even care.. Treat them like shit

[–]128bitworm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She just wants to see if you are as miserable as she is. Is all. Ignore.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Point me to where it says on TRP to get back in contact with your ex

[–]nightdecoder0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Other dicks are boring and the biggest one didnt want to commit.. slap that bitch with eternal ghosting. Karma is for Nazis!

[–]3chazthundergut0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

  1. If you truly want nothing from her, then STAY AWAY. You ghosted her for a reason. Trust your instincts and trust your gut. The heart will betray you dont let that bitch back in.

  2. Otherwise tell her to "come get some closure" and let her give you one last blowjob for old times sake

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]UniversalFapture1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sike

[–]rftw2013-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't worry about it, in 2 months she'll be dating someone 'way better than you, and she won't contact you again.

Men are like buses, another one will come along.

[–]Bleu_Cheese_Pursuits-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

I mean you could try to plate her. It is a judgment call. If she is insane I'd stay away entirely. But make her come to you. Tell her you'll be at this place at this time doing this thing and if she wants to see you then she can. But don't let her make you rearrange your plans to accommodate her. As someone else pointed out, he was in a similar situation and she cancelled last minute just so she could "have the last word". If you take my advice, the only time wasted will be her own.



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