What underlying behaviors do you guys use to calibrate to a socially natural level or handle attacks to your frame using mainly body language? I know about A&A and all those other tricks, and already use them, but I'm seeing a lot of potential with body language.

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December 7, 2019
196 upvotes

I've been experimenting for a year now and pretty much most of my body language is consciously done. Even in super stressful situations, I don't fidget or chew my mouth. I practice what I want to do alone, then it becomes natural in practice so I don't have to moderate it. I aim to give off social pressure, while finding a nice balance from also providing some comfort here or there, so others aren't 100% weirded out or intimidated, but still reverent. Anyways, here's what I noticed.

Giving strong eye contact only works when you're listening/speaking or about to listen/speak to the person AND you're facing them. Also, during pauses. If the person is to your side and you're giving them hawk-eyes, they're going to feel like something's off. So when it's from the side, it's best to give eye contact, but then look forward. It comes off more natural that way.

Here are three actions that help when someone tries to attack you or they're staring at you and not saying anything and you guys weren't speaking. These actions make the other person feel like the weird one or diffuses the attack.

(1) The Shrug: when someone tries to say some passive aggressive shit, or tries a push-pull on you, or tries to call out a behavior of yours, just casually shrug and look at them then proceed to continue doing what you were doing. For example if someone says "you used to be so fucking bad at basketball but you're decent now" literally look at them, shrug, then proceed to continue what you were doing. You acknowledged them, but so dismissively that they look like the ass in the situation and like you weren't affected. My brother-in-law was prying into what I was eating and read the ingredients of my protein bar then said out loud "wow... there's gelatin in here, you still going to eat it?" in front of my mom, knowing full well that I'm atheist and that my mom is super religious. I deadass look at him and shrug, then continue doing what I'm doing. Attack failed, literally. His face looked defeated and he looked like he realized he was pushing it. Later on, I opened it like I was planning to do, and ate it in front of him. Felt like a subtle fuck you lmao.

(2) The Eyebrow Raise: when someone you kind of know is just looking at you for a bizarrely long time when neither of you were speaking before, looking back at them is increasing pressure for no reason, and looking away is a sign of being uncomfortable. I know from reactions doing all those things. All you need to do is look back and raise your eyebrows at them like "what's up", then the pressure is off you and the ball is in their court. If they keep staring at you without answering, they're in the frame of being the weird one, and if they answer, they're still in your frame. This sounds like overthinking it, but situations like this add up when it comes to someone building a picture of how much of your frame they're willing to buy into.

(3) Neutrally deflecting with "empathy": if someone join a conversation to attack you, tries to throw anger or negative energy at you, or is just trying to get a rise out of you, the best thing you can do is look at them with neutral facial expressions and body language and say "you seem pretty angry. did something happen to you today?" or "it's good to let out your feelings". Instead of acknowledging them as attacking you, you're reading the situation as you empathizing with a child having a tantrum.

You guys got any more techniques, especially with body language?


Post Information
Title What underlying behaviors do you guys use to calibrate to a socially natural level or handle attacks to your frame using mainly body language? I know about A&A and all those other tricks, and already use them, but I'm seeing a lot of potential with body language.
Author We_Broke_Up
Upvotes 196
Comments 56
Date 07 December 2019 10:39 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/298255
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/e7l4rb/what_underlying_behaviors_do_you_guys_use_to/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
A&Aframe
Comments

[–]WannaBeDrake93 points94 points  (2 children) | Copy

Turn your head to look at the individual attacking you, look them up and down, then turn away and continue what you were doing.

Same concept as the shrug but it’s more aggressive.

[–]send_it_for_the_boys10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

I do this and I stare at them with a “wtf kind of dumb creature are you” look

[–]Dboy22334 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like this

[–]jajahhssgxka74 points75 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was skeptical but this is good quality

[–]frognads55 points56 points  (0 children) | Copy

'it's good to let out your feelings' is fucking funny, will have to use that one. Also, 'yeesss... let the anger flow through you...'

[–][deleted]  (7 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]dodoga9321 points22 points  (3 children) | Copy

I think gelatin -> pork -> muslim?

[–]Heybuddyyyyyy8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or Jewish

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]dodoga930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

gelatin - wikipedia look at the production section

[–]We_Broke_Up[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Gelatin -> Pork -> Islam

[–]HelveticusVIII0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Salaam bro, you fasting?

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]BigTreats4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

your name cracked me up

[–]frognads0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I feel like I could verbally tear you a new asshole irl

Love the name

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (8 children) | Copy

A personal favorite of mine is responding with "Quit projecting" to any form of verbal attack. Immediate pressure flip.

[–]ArnoldT100020 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yah and you also look like an autist

[–]Sartek29 points30 points  (2 children) | Copy

Quit projecting

[–]Vicco_3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry I'm a projector

[–]BigTreats0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Quit projecting

[–]RaidenDark10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is fine in low intelligence circles. Try that anywhere else and you'll be met with nothing but eye rolls. It's just a fancier way of saying "no u" which is obscenely boring.

Good comebacks are tailor made and stir fried on the spot, not prepackaged and microwaved.

[–]frognads4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I thought you were sperging out until I read the last sentence. Gold star

[–]BusterVadge1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seems like something a pretentious person would say to me. Usually I'll just smile and shrug it off. If you're in a group its best to address the attackers concerns and twist things around so it seems like they're being childish or petty.

If it's one on one I will just shake my head dismissively and move on to another subject.

I think everyone in this sub would benefit from some sales training

[–]send_it_for_the_boys0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If I could like this 30 times I would. Once I learned about projection I started saying this all the time and it’s really makes people trip over their words 😂

[–]PinacoladaSauce5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depends on the attack and specific scenario of course because sometimes it’s just a sarcastic comment or what have you, every situation is different obviously.

I agreee with what you have here, but like to add two

Depending on what happened I’ll say “it’s a good thing you live your life your way and I live my life my way because it sounds like if the roles were reversed we’d both be unhappy” or something along those lines. That’s a real jaw dropper and has gotten me laid a couple times.

The other is to literally just ignore. Stare at them, as if acknowledging what they said, and then moving on/continuing conversation elsewhere, it lets them know you here them but don’t approve and don’t think it worthy enough of a response and really makes people look/feel shitty

Edit: not actively am I trying to make people feel shitty but yeah depending on the context people need to be put in their place sometimes.

[–][deleted]  (12 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]Accendino6915 points16 points  (3 children) | Copy

you either use metric for both or don't use it at all my dude

[–]BigTreats1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah kinda threw me off

[–]frognads0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We can still use feet for height in the intelligent countries.

[–]hoopingblob28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shrug and assert dominance by looking at his eyes while T-posing

[–]cleanestballs14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Demote him to anal only plate.

[–]redxpeace4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shoot him

[–]Enzuq9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro I was looking at you and your gains you look incredible

[–]grimmjoww4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Take your pants off and start helicopter-peeing to assert crab dominance hiarchy.

[–]Standgrounding1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

cum into him to assert dominance

[–]frognads1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

First step should always be chin to chest, protect ya neck!

[–]yanngg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good advices man thank you

[–]Pokeylaw1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a great post #1 had me dead tho LMAO

[–]Andrew543212 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

When someone says something or does something you don’t like. Intentional or not.

Do the following:

  1. Stop
  2. Look up and pan left to right like you are thinking
  3. Pause
  4. Smile

[–]rizzyfromthe90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Simply shaking your head

[–]tripmepls0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Mirroring the person is also a powerful tool. When people say that the vibes are right around a particular person, they refer to mirroring and synchronous behavior that they are not consciously aware of.

[–]CaptainKidd960 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OP, this is good content. You should post this on the main TRP sub.

[–]erehc0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Not sure if this counts as body language but a good way I've noticed to handle attacks is to give a big belly laugh at them.

A few weeks ago my boxer friend who loves trying to belittle the group made a pass at me that my SMV was lower than the guy with the lowest in the group. All I did was let out a big laugh the first time. When he used the same joke at the bars, I laughed even harder and that was the last time he made the joke.

Funny enough, I didn't go home alone that night but he did.

[–]Pimpcool4200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh God this just makes me think of the Joker

[–]kingofclubsmorde0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I suggest everyone to read a book called 'The Art of Reading Minds' by swede Henrik Fexeus.

Teaches a lot about body language

[–]trippie300 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Imagine being this beta to have to write this shit down and then follow these principles.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]We_Broke_Up[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Unfortunately there's no one perfect attempt to come out on top. Sometimes, you'll get fucked. But here's what you can do.

  1. The first example was just the guy being a straight up idiot and pissing someone off. That's more a matter of you making sure your friend group and people you hang out with aren't full on cockblocks or will drag you down. You mentioned it being in a line so you came with them, it's not like it's someone you just met at the club.
  2. Sometimes, you're going to be around shitty people who will try to ruin it for you. You need to learn how to assert yourself without coming off as an asshole. That takes practice and as long as you keep cool and respond in a non-threatened manner, you're good. Here's what you could have done when he said that arcade was for kids: "Well then welcome back to childhood bitch/motherfucker" in a joking manner and laugh and then walk towards the arcade, or if you've done kino with the chick, grab her hand and take her with you. Like how is he going to respond at that point? You didn't say bitch in a rude way and were clearly teasing. You took the lead and if he makes objections he's pulling the group down. Anything he does comes off as insecure so unless he shrugs and just follows you guys, he looks pretty bad.
  3. One-off events don't ruin other peoples' views of you. It's how you maintain composure under them. If she smiled and found it funny, look her and smile and hold eye contact, and act like those other two people are children. If you and your girl had kids and they said "LAMEE", you would literally ignore them or just smile. Imagine an "alpha" in that situation. They'd be unphased by it. No need to shrug either. Just let them sit in their frame and don't react to it, it'll die off.

[–]YouWannaPutMoneyOnIt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I literally stare at them thinking bro I will kill you if you so much as breathe the wrong fucking way

And it’s usually good-

But just establishing stronger frame and an unmovable mountain frame

[–]theyearsstartcomin0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

body language and say "you seem pretty angry. did something happen to you today?" or "it's good to let out your feelings".

Who hurt you sweaty

[–]send_it_for_the_boys0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is good because almost everyone gets defensive



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