I've been experimenting for a year now and pretty much most of my body language is consciously done. Even in super stressful situations, I don't fidget or chew my mouth. I practice what I want to do alone, then it becomes natural in practice so I don't have to moderate it. I aim to give off social pressure, while finding a nice balance from also providing some comfort here or there, so others aren't 100% weirded out or intimidated, but still reverent. Anyways, here's what I noticed.
Giving strong eye contact only works when you're listening/speaking or about to listen/speak to the person AND you're facing them. Also, during pauses. If the person is to your side and you're giving them hawk-eyes, they're going to feel like something's off. So when it's from the side, it's best to give eye contact, but then look forward. It comes off more natural that way.
Here are three actions that help when someone tries to attack you or they're staring at you and not saying anything and you guys weren't speaking. These actions make the other person feel like the weird one or diffuses the attack.
(1) The Shrug: when someone tries to say some passive aggressive shit, or tries a push-pull on you, or tries to call out a behavior of yours, just casually shrug and look at them then proceed to continue doing what you were doing. For example if someone says "you used to be so fucking bad at basketball but you're decent now" literally look at them, shrug, then proceed to continue what you were doing. You acknowledged them, but so dismissively that they look like the ass in the situation and like you weren't affected. My brother-in-law was prying into what I was eating and read the ingredients of my protein bar then said out loud "wow... there's gelatin in here, you still going to eat it?" in front of my mom, knowing full well that I'm atheist and that my mom is super religious. I deadass look at him and shrug, then continue doing what I'm doing. Attack failed, literally. His face looked defeated and he looked like he realized he was pushing it. Later on, I opened it like I was planning to do, and ate it in front of him. Felt like a subtle fuck you lmao.
(2) The Eyebrow Raise: when someone you kind of know is just looking at you for a bizarrely long time when neither of you were speaking before, looking back at them is increasing pressure for no reason, and looking away is a sign of being uncomfortable. I know from reactions doing all those things. All you need to do is look back and raise your eyebrows at them like "what's up", then the pressure is off you and the ball is in their court. If they keep staring at you without answering, they're in the frame of being the weird one, and if they answer, they're still in your frame. This sounds like overthinking it, but situations like this add up when it comes to someone building a picture of how much of your frame they're willing to buy into.
(3) Neutrally deflecting with "empathy": if someone join a conversation to attack you, tries to throw anger or negative energy at you, or is just trying to get a rise out of you, the best thing you can do is look at them with neutral facial expressions and body language and say "you seem pretty angry. did something happen to you today?" or "it's good to let out your feelings". Instead of acknowledging them as attacking you, you're reading the situation as you empathizing with a child having a tantrum.
You guys got any more techniques, especially with body language?
[–]WannaBeDrake93 points94 points95 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]send_it_for_the_boys10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Dboy22334 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]jajahhssgxka74 points75 points76 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]frognads55 points56 points57 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (7 children) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]dodoga9321 points22 points23 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]Heybuddyyyyyy8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]dodoga930 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]We_Broke_Up[S] 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]HelveticusVIII0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]BigTreats4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]frognads0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 26 points27 points28 points (8 children) | Copy
[–]ArnoldT100020 points21 points22 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]Sartek29 points30 points31 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]Vicco_3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]BigTreats0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]RaidenDark10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]frognads4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]BusterVadge1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]send_it_for_the_boys0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]PinacoladaSauce5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (12 children) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]Accendino6915 points16 points17 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]BigTreats1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]frognads0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]hoopingblob28 points29 points30 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]cleanestballs14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]redxpeace4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Enzuq9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]grimmjoww4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Standgrounding1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]frognads1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]yanngg1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Pokeylaw1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Andrew543212 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]rizzyfromthe90 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]tripmepls0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]CaptainKidd960 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]erehc0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Pimpcool4200 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]kingofclubsmorde0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]trippie300 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]We_Broke_Up[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]YouWannaPutMoneyOnIt0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]theyearsstartcomin0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]send_it_for_the_boys0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[+][deleted] (4 children) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]We_Broke_Up[S] 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]Raizzen4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]We_Broke_Up[S] 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]rprookie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy