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You only want me for sex

Reddit View
December 15, 2019
174 upvotes

Did I handle this right? LTR came over after work to hang out. We had sex, and since it was already way later than I wanted to be awake, I told her I needed to get to bed because I have work in the morning. She silently got dressed, ignoring my jokes and when she was about to walk out the door she said that she feels used because I only want her for sex and when I'm done I want her to leave. I told her I would love to hang out more, but I have to get up early. She kept complaining, so I told her to leave and be careful driving home.

This morning, she called to apologize and said she was out of line. I said ok and then went about my business.

Anything different I should do or should have done?


Post Information
Title You only want me for sex
Author Alphainprogress123
Upvotes 174
Comments 96
Date 15 December 2019 03:28 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/299429
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/eb06rp/you_only_want_me_for_sex/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationship
Comments

[–]TRPGaveMeLife108 points109 points  (1 child) | Copy

Nice frame

[–]SilentMeatball27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

Look at the frame on this lad!

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev415 points416 points  (42 children) | Copy

”Be worried about the day that I don’t want you for sex.”

[–]1Red_Pill_Brotherhood71 points72 points  (0 children) | Copy

Came here to quote you on that.

[–]ChadTheWaiter10037 points38 points  (26 children) | Copy

Unc,

I understand we should all do what we want and trp is a set of tools so there is no set rules. But I just want your opinion on something. Gifts. Occasional gifts for no specific holiday but just because you feel like it.

I like this girl and I’m at a point where I have a decent amount of money. She has not asked me to buy her anything, but I just kind of want to for some reason. I don’t know how to explain. But I wonder if this could have any negative effects on her behavior if I give her an occasional, small, gift.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev84 points85 points  (16 children) | Copy

I like to use positive reinforcement. If she's behaving and otherwise "acting right" then you can give her a gift if you want. Negative behavior should lead to withdrawal of attention, etc.

Gifts, if you give them, should be a reward, not a supplication. And it's a pretty slippery slope to where she might start to feel entitled.

[–]ChadTheWaiter10012 points13 points  (6 children) | Copy

Yes. I don’t have it in mind in a supplicating way, I mean like - here I got you these, I wanted you to have these. I’ve noticed she’s started dressing like me, in a way. She does give me sex on demand, does chores for me and does follows my lead.

I’m unsure how I could present it that it’s a SMALL reward for good behavior. I’m not talking about buying this bitch some jewelry it’s just some fashionable house shoes. Some nice house shoes that are swaggy and my style. I just want her to have some to match me. She didn’t ask, I want to Emphasize that.

But I don’t want her to feel entitled. And I understand what you mean. She does always thank me for buying her dinner. Profusely.

But- should I explain to her? That this is for good behavior. She’s not a dumass. She actually reads books which is rare for a female imo and she seems to be able to keep up with conversations that I have with her. A lot of people can’t do that. Even men.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tell her it’s b/c she’s “acting right” or however you want to say it.

[–]NexusReflexX7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Get more of a thoughtful gift. If its clothing, get her something in her favorite color. Never do jewelery.

I got my lady a gift that i want her to use and wear because i think she will look good in it. Didnt cost me more than $40 and shes gonna love it.

[–]HelveticusVIII0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This inspired me to do the same

[–]PinacoladaSauce4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is going to sound a little pavlovs dogs-y but maybe right after she does a small random chore for you, say thank you, oh btw I got you these, and give her the shoes. Or another similar action she does for you. Make them a reward as well as a gift

[–]Nexarus1231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you want to give her a gift, just give it to her. Its not your obligation to know why you did this harmless small thing.

[–]ReformSociety0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Getting her house shoes "to match me" may indicate you want something more with her (like couples outfits).

[–]audiotrack0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Ad gifts -> book of pook has the answer for you, I believe it is even in the early part of the book

[–]ChadTheWaiter1002 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Ok. Can you summarize to me what it says and I’ll read it later? Does it basically say that it’s not a good idea to give gifts.

[–]audiotrack7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I could summarize but wont do it. Because then you wont read the book.

And you should read that book.

[–]KrissVectorEOC3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

Come on, the guy gave you a source he thought you could check out and now you want him to do more work? 😂

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I know people are stupid but you can’t really be that stupid can you? If I’m looking for an answer right this second- then I’m going to ask: what is the main idea? If I had all the time in the world, I would read the book immediately. Reading a book takes time. Obviously, I don’t that time, or I wouldn’t say what I said. Secondly, if he’s read the book? Then he isn’t doing any work other than writing one more sentence.

[–]KrissVectorEOC-4 points-3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Are you still wasting time on this? 😂 Yeesh. Easily manipulatable. Stay in frame

[–]RanaMahal3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

asking a follow up question on something = not being in frame

lmao this guy. i don’t know who to root for in this battle of idiots

[–]Sonny_Luna1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shut up, goofball.

[–]xxx69harambe69xxx-5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy

And?

[–]EvelynnSpoiler5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy

I get the idea of not depending on her, but I don't see how saying that would make things better. The moment she gets home and writes that in her girly group chat, then she's going to be bombarded with suggestions to break up with you.

If this were a casual fling I'd understand, but I really don't see how that comment would have any positive repercussions. Of course she'll come back to you in the end but is it really worth the hassle?

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy

Do you ever see me here, posting about how I am failing at “bitch management”?

Also, if she’s taking he marching orders from her bitch friends then why would you want to keep her around anyway? Too much bullshit to put up with.

At bottom, if you have actual abundance, and act accordingly, you don’t worry about this shit.

[–]EvelynnSpoiler1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

if she’s taking he marching orders from her bitch friends the. Why would you want to keep her around anyway?

Women are much more interested in people as opposed to men who are more interested in things, therefore it's kind of expected that women at times will adhere to manipulative "advice" from their tribes. Actually in often times it's the beta male who manipulates the woman with her partner.

At bottom, if you have actual abundance, and act accordingly, you don’t worry about this shit

You need to take into consideration that achieving abundance is still a long road ahead for most people on trp. It's all well and good to talk about it from a point where you already have abundance, but most people don't which is exactly why self-improvement is a huge part of it.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

women at times will adhere to manipulative "advice" from their tribes.

Which makes here a bad long term bet. Girls who choose "hoes before bros" are going to wind up being problematic because they get swayed by their cunt friends. It is a version of The Anna Karenina Principle and the Problem of Bad Relationships. I had a girlfriend years ago who was great - solid 8, freak in the sheets, great cook...

Except.

Except she was too easily swayed by her cunt best friend who didn't want her locked down because then she (the friend) would be the Last Single Girl in the friend group. It was problematic, but nothing I could do. It's a problem without a solution, so better to weed them out sooner, rather than later, and I should have cut her loose sooner.

You need to take into consideration that achieving abundance is still a long road ahead for most people on trp.

You don't get actual abundance by caving to whatever crazy-ass demand or shit test or comfort test that comes out of a girl's mouth.

If you want to make an omelette, you have to break some eggs.

[–]RanaMahal2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

most people don’t have an abundance of HB7+ which is what we’re all, myself included, aiming for. i’ve got a couple 7 plates with a 9 who wants to LTR that i’ve kept plated for a while, and i’m not actively looking for more plates right now but even i have an abundance mentality because of the fact that i can have any 6 i want at any time.

most guys on here are concerned with having an abundance of super models without thinking about the fact that they could have an abundance of 3’s even at the start, and then work their way up. you should always be in abundance of whatever number is close to your SMV. a guy who’s a 7 should be able to have an abundance of 7’s, and be able to land 8’s, so the higher your SMV the higher quality of plates you can land.

[–]Sonny_Luna0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I like your advice.

[–]RanaMahal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yeah it’s worked for me and a couple friends. we don’t run into those “not having abundance mindset until i’m a greek god” issues. start off with abundance of 3’s and work your way up the SMV ladder while you replace your plates with better plates.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow that’s so 👌🏽👌🏽

[–]Diche_Bach1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

DAYUM That is cold-blooded.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I usually only have to have that conversation once.

[–]Sonny_Luna1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

It’s really not. It’s not how she’ll perceive it if it’s done right.

[–]Diche_Bach1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I never had the desire to repeatedly fuck a woman I had zero affection for. That is what I mean.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh, in general, I have to like the girls these days, but even good girls shit test you.

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nope, you politely enforced your boundaries. Well done

[–]acp_rdit43 points44 points  (0 children) | Copy

I told her I would love to hang out more, but I have to get up early.

Exactly correct, you said what she needed to hear but you still did what you wanted to do.

[–]Endorsed ContributorNightwingTRP23 points24 points  (5 children) | Copy

Could have been a bit more positive about her apology if you're trying to build an LTR here. You've got to praise her when she behaves the way you want her to. Right there, she atoned for her sins and submitted. That is behaviour you want to encourage. You could even have helped her by pointing out she ended up there because she managed her emotions poorly and you expect her to manage them better in the future. Alpha aloof-indifference to all her behaviour will eventually make her smash like the plate you are treating her as.

[–]RanaMahal7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

i’ve slowly been finding that bending my frame a bit to reward good behaviour has kept my plates around for longer whereas before i’d get annoyed and hard next any girl in my life after a couple months so this is definitely great advice.

[–]Endorsed ContributorNightwingTRP2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Back when I was spinning plates, I went from 1 month long things to having plates hanging around for 9-18 months instead with no commitment. The big difference was pre-empting and passing comfort tests more effectively. The roller coaster emotions ride is what she wants to go on, but it should always end back where it started.

[–]RanaMahal0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

ya i just have problems distinguishing comfort tests and shit tests tbh. i’m naturally kind of an ass so shit tests are no issue for me, it’s the comfort tests that i don’t know when to pass or what to do. i accidentally make plates cry a lot and need to get better at that

[–]Endorsed ContributorNightwingTRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Check out part 3 of the TRP Field Toolkit on the sidebar of AskTRP.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Control game

[–]631_Exuberant_Bias21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

You handled it well, old chap.

[–]bigdudecfc97 points98 points  (7 children) | Copy

"Is sex all you have to offer?",then see her hamster run like crazy.

[–]Heybuddyyyyyy32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dayumn son where'd you find thisss

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Right out of the school of Patrice O'Neal

[–]ma-agentz8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Perfect response

[–]jakethesnake50004 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like this, well said

[–]AnneStaz14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

I hate sleeping next to people unless it's a huge bed and my loud fan is on, so I've had to do the same.

You did it right, just go about your business and tell her well next time you're welcome to stay just let's plan it better

[–]Heybuddyyyyyy6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

I always worry the bitch gonna kill me or something evil bc she know she's just for smash time and temporary...too paranoid to let them sleep over

[–]AnneStaz4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same lmao im always afraid a girl is going to pretend to accept that we won't date and chop my dick off in my sleep

[–]jenovajunkie29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy

Naw, I think she wanted to stay over.

She didn't ask you directly, like all women. She tried emotionally manipulating you.

[–]shvmir4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

good job brother

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

d that she feels used because I only want her for sex

Shit test from LTRs, usually given to guilt men into ignoring their needs in favour of hers.

Sadly it's also a sign of the end of the LTR: she's losing attraction, thus doesn't appreciate the sex, and is trying to guilt you out of the sex while maintaining your commitment.

Women never say this when they know you have other sexual options, this statement is a signal of declining sexual interest from a women who is certain of your commitment.

Commitment kills attraction, this statement cements her position as receiver of commitment while trying to sidestep her obligation to your sexual satisfaction.

This morning, she called to apologize and said she was out of line

Good.... but keep an eye on this one. The writing is on the wall.

Anything different I should do or should have done?

Gone silent faster.

[–]Alphainprogress123[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Could it be anything else? Because for the couple days after that incident, she has sent naked pictures of herself to me and talked about how she wants to rip my clothes off and things like that. Of course she could have just got scared of being without me, and decided to act more attracted. It doesn't seem like she is losing attraction, but I'm not sure.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Could it be anything else?

It's a sign of lack of attraction... BUT female feelings change with the wind.

Of course she could have just got scared of being without me, and decided to act more attracted

Likely yes, but it's not an act. Women really do get more aroused and more attracted when scared of losing you.

[–]newbie3hunna1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I mean if you feel uncomfortable using her for sex you can stop using her for sex. We all know pump and dumping girls emotionally fucks them up. They may accept it and they may deserve it but it's still going to take an emotional toll on them. Sounds to me like it might be time to cut things off. I'm not into depressing shit like this.

[–]L2diy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Killin it bro

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hm

[–]FaP_corleone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Man you behaved like a fuckin BO$$ ! Man yous is a alpha !

Read sidebar, do lifting, spin plates - its really that simple.

[–]adsly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do you have something else to offer except sex?

[–]Retuov0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Seems like you and the chick are almost done, you can ride the wave as long as possible until she dumps you. Or you can do it.

Whatever you do, within 4 months is over.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's so funny. One of the craziest things about a chick is when they complain about something that actually seems legit, and you play it off and they come back and apologize.

So retarded. You dated, and didn't deer. Nice work

You broke her hamster. 'I feel used...now I feel rejected and invalidated...holy shit let me save myself'.

[–]Herdsengineers0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Comfort test - she was fishing for an overnight invite.

I dunno what could have been a better response or if what you did was the best thing. It depends on you, her, state of the LTR, etc. Only you can know that for certain. I do think the pressure flip questions below are good responses that can be folded in as well. One other potential response is recognizing she wants an overnighter, if it's not a good night for it, then offer it at another time. This is only if you want to give her that comfort she's looking for, though.

Remember, it's okay to be affectionate and caring, you can do that and still be high SMV man that focuses on his mission.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

"You couldn't be more wrong. I just like you because you bring me beers. Why don't you run over to the fridge and get me one, please."

"There. I'm pretty low maintenance."

[–]afterthe_fapocalypse3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This may have terminated the relationship but would be a hilarious story.

[–]TeamRed20 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Tips on my interaction

There is an HB8 at the gym who I’ve met about 4 months ago. Every time I see her, we wave, and usually engage in small talk. Decided I’d ask her to a drink, and see where things go. She tells me she is done with her workout, and I ask her what she’s doing for the remainder of the night (Friday). She says folding laundry and watching tv. I say “Well that sounds boring. What sounds less boring is if we went out for a drink instead.” She says “sure that sounds good”. I hand her my phone, she puts in her number gives me back my phone. I look at it and say “Cool. Well, time for the leg curl” and start leg curling as she walks away. A few hours later I text her.

Me: have you ever been to so and so tap house?

Her: ive not been. I’ve heard of it though.

Me: They have good beer, if you like beer. Their food is ok. Can you meet me there at 8?

Her: I don't like beer actually sorry and I'm in for the night. Started wrapping presents.

Me: oh ok, no problem.

Her: Thank you. If I gave you the wrong impression I'm truly sorry but I'm with someone.

Me: Oh ok. I’m not looking for a relationship either.

Her: Perfect! Friends then?

Me: With benefits?

Her: Omg.. lol

Me: 😁 I'll see you at the gym tomorrow. Her: Sounds good.

I’m fairly new to game. I’ve read TRM, reading MNMNG, and have been reading posts on here for several months. My buddy thinks I sound desperate. I thought I was holding frame by not being phased by the bf, and not agreeing to just be friends. Any tips or advice on what would have been better responses would be appreciated. And supporting theory or line of thinking with your answer would be helpful.

[–]wkndatbernardus4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think you handled it well. Didn't sound butt hurt, which is the key, even though she is a flake and kept the relationship in play. Sometimes game takes time. Live to fight another day, homie.

[–]TeamRed20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the feedback.

[–]imtrynaclapnocap3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Make your own post about this

[–]TeamRed21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're right. I tried to, but this is a new account, so I'm not allowed to make posts yet. Any idea how much karma you need in order to post?

[–]Gordon-G1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Women want attention, crave it, need it. Have to make sure she is sending choosing signals. This one was just in it for the attention. They need orbiters to boost their egos and have them readily available to monkey branch to if-when things don’t work out with the guy they’re with now.

[–]TeamRed20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So going forward, I'll still be friendly so as not to seem butt hurt, but cut out the small talk. She knows now that I'm only interested in something casual, so if/when she wants that, I'll oblige. Otherwise, there are plenty of other women.

[–]KrissVectorEOC-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Did well. Should've replied with alright, let's do something X date so I can do X again but we can hang out and do X which would be fun or whatever. Remember, this is your LTR. But you held frame well and didn't react or argue all night over text or some shit. Nice.

[–]SerialATA_Killer-5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hello yes, this is a TRP sub. If you're looking to get whipped, marry your high school girlfriend, or ensure that she is getting Chad dick while you provide for her emotional and stability needs, this is excellent advice.

[–]GinoMan2440-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why not let her stay the night?

"I never said you had to leave, I said it's time for me to go to bed."

[–]30DaystoSolstice0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nah

[–]kragneoux-5 points-4 points  (2 children) | Copy

What LTR means? Sorry for being an ignorant

[–]shvmir0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Long Term Relationship



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