How to get those "red pill lessons" out of my head?

maxomai · 2019-09-03T18:24:54+00:00

Start with the assumption that you know nothing. Rebuild from scratch. Read up on body language and how to build networks of friends (yes, really, start with that). Start carrying this out in practice, slowly. Are you in school? Start with introducing yourself to a new classmate each week. Join a club you find interesting. Make friends, both male and female. Get to know people as people, regardless of what stereotypes you might have about them. People are often surprising.

Consider going to therapy to work out your anxieties about friendship, dating, and the opposite sex.

Forget about what you have heard about what a real man is or does. A real man does one thing and one thing only, which is take responsibility for their shit. Everything after that is superfluous.

Once you start making friends more easily, start reading about sex. The most important things to know are about these topics: enthusiastic consent, open communication, prevention of disease (especially the right way to use a condom as most people get this wrong), prevention of pregnancy, anatomy, and technique, in descending order of importance. Learn as much as you can about how to pleasure yourself so that you can communicate with your partners later. Knowing this stuff will make your dating life much better.

In addition, the body language books you're reading should have advice about flirting.

Not gonna lie, this is a hard journey, and it can take years to get to the point where you are about equal to your peers. But it's worth it.

Good luck OP.

I_like_the_word_MUFF · 2019-09-03T19:00:12+00:00

You can chalk this up to being a 45 year old woman's advice but I feel this needs to be said.

Fear, not women, is your challenge. Courage is what you should have been cultivating, not pick up lessons.

A hard truth is that life for nearly all of us is fucking insane and horribly unfair at times, over and over. Nobody gets out of life unscarred. The good news is, most of that insane and unfair bullshit that happens doesn't kill you. In fact, it sometimes makes the long and often boring stretches of adulthood interesting. At least you'll always have a good story after you've survived.

That goes for love and jobs and friends and family. It's true in your 20s and it's true in your senior years. It never ends and no amount of planning will stop it from happening. The pain is coming and there's nothing you can do.

Except one thing, learn to live with courage and grace. If everyone was terrified of a broken heart none of us would know love. If everyone was afraid of risk, we'd never have technological advance or business or education... Everything we endeavor to do and enjoy doing involves risk. Everything has a chance of breaking you if you risk to experience it. That is life.

So ask yourself, do you want to spend the next 60 years protecting yourself from love, passion, risk, reward and investing yourself in anything or anyone? Do you believe that you alone can somehow exist beyond the human condition? Are you willing to sit by yourself while the world just goes on around you?

Or will you join the rest of us, out here in the world... Risking our hearts on love (and writing a million songs, poems, and stories about that feeling) Risking our security on an idea, a business, a person, or a promise. Because it's not a gender issue, hurt and pain is a human condition and no matter how many people try to convince you otherwise all you have to do is walk out your front door and ask the first 20 people who broke their heart and the next 20 who lied to them to see that truth.

And finally, courage is the most attractive feature in a person. Perhaps that's what's been missing all along.

TheMadWoodcutter · 2019-09-03T20:33:07+00:00

A really good way is to try and be real actual friends with some women. Before long, you start to see that men and women aren't so different after all.

SHAKIRAISHOT · 2019-09-04T00:13:36+00:00

i think we can help a lot better if you tell us which ideas you cant get out of your head. they are stuck probably because you still think they are true. so let us debunk it for you.

Rad1Red · 2019-09-04T15:03:02+00:00

You have to detox just like you would detox from any cult. Read about that. Treat it just like any other addiction.

In order to be successful, separate the common-sense self-improvement ideas that TRP graft their bull on from the actual toxic core of it.

You have to understand - and see for yourself - that the good things they say have been promoted ad nauseam by other people too, often for a long time. TRP may just have been your first contact with them.

I.e. going to the gym and taking responsibility for yourself - good. Working out releases endorphins, increases physical fitness. Better looking, positive partners of any gender are more attractive by default. They stand out in a good way.

Thinking women are basically just over-emotional simpletons that must be "handled", because of their "female nature" - bad. Damaged women, clueless women and gold-diggers exist, but they are more or less visible depending on one's environment. Change the watering hole and the fauna changes as well. We don't think bears are white wherever, right?

Giving to the poor and generally helping your fellow man - good.

Religious war, homophobia - bad.

Honour and brotherhood - good.

"Honour killings" or thinking half the population is inherently dishonourable simply by virtue of their genitals - bad.

Get it?

I can't be religious because although religions do promote some beautiful ideals and ways to live, most are inextricably intertwined with bollocks such as "everyone who isn't like me is going to 'hell'". So I extract the good things and form my own moral philosophy.

U/shakiraishot is right. Tell us what toxic beliefs you can't shake and we will debunk them for you.

Edit: I think TRP has actually increased your fear and distrust of women. So you're actually worse off than before... Your anxiety stems from unlucky past experiences, yes, but fear and distrust of ALL women is an irrational beast that therapy will help with. You go to a mechanic to fix your car, to a doctor to fix your broken arm, to a therapist to teach you methods of getting over anxiety.

RadicalREDPILLERZ · 2019-09-04T15:41:13+00:00

Work on your self. Be the best you, financially, physically and mentally. Stop worrying about what other people say. The redpill can be poisonous if you over consume, but the things they say are not wrong either. RP saved my life a few weeks back. Stop worrying about girls or the redpill/bluepill, build your self up, girls will find you.

[deleted] · 2019-09-09T08:13:06+00:00

It took me about a year personally. I spent limited time online and spent a lot of time with friends and meditating. Take the 'clear pill' my friend and learn from irl.

Talkytalktalk · 2019-09-16T15:49:05+00:00

your fears are valid.

Title	How to get those "red pill lessons" out of my head?
Author	SbVta76
Upvotes	12
Comments	22
Date	September 3, 2019 5:01 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/cz7llb/how_to_get_those_red_pill_lessons_out_of_my_head/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-to-get-those-red-pill-lessons-out-of-my-head.299618 https://theredarchive.com/post/299618