Impossible Male Beauty Standards and Masculinity

Yesm3can · 2019-08-25T14:28:31+00:00

Even if I had a girlfriend and she told me how much she loved me, I wouldn't believe her, infact I would think she is just trying to play me for a fool while cheating on me behind my back with actually attractive, masculine men.

AKA: Imma make other people carry my fucking baggage!

Yeah, please -never- have a GF before you get rid of this kind of mindset. Fight your own battles and don't drag other people through your shit.

Going to say the same if you were a woman saying the same bullshit.

These kind of people who cannot believe their own partners but insisting to be in a relationship anyway, are one of the worst kinds in relationship.

2019-08-24T21:57:54+00:00

Honestly the impossibly tall masculine and muscular male beauty standard isn't what girls are into exclusively, women have types too. There are women attracted to short men and women who prefer dad bods, there are women who prefer skinny men too. If you look at recent social media trends on spaces like tiktok where there's a large female presence you can see that a lot of them prefer skinny men. This sounds more like you heard a media driven example of what the ideal masculine male is like and decided that if you aren't perfect no one will ever love you, which isn't true. I think probably the biggest giveaway of it not being true is just looking at all the people that are married and having kids, most people are not super masculine and attractive with clear skin and a domineering confident personality. Women who value superficial things like that aren't who I assume you want to be with to begin with. What you should do honestly is find a therapist that you think you would feel comfortable with and trying to work through your insecurities with. It sounds like you might have some body dysmorphia too - which is something a therapist can help you work through and understand. You've already taken the first step, recognizing that you want to and can change. Now it's just a matter of keeping on that path, you can definitely do it.

god_in_a_coma · 2019-08-24T23:40:03+00:00

I'm not saying your wrong but I believe you're mistaken. The idea of the perfect man being tall and muscular is media driven and Male dominated.

I know loads of women who dont like muscular men, many who think over 5"10' is "too tall" and loads who think skinny is sexy.

Before I met my current partner I would say tall and skinny is 100% my type - like 6 foot 2 / 150 pounds. My current boyfriend is muscular but I love him and hes the sexiest man in the world to me. Just like the tall skinny guys were when I was in love with them, and the guy who was 5 foot 4 was. Women dont care that much when we love you. Meet women you connect with, you're not attracted to and build friendships. Have them set you up.

partyorca · 2019-08-25T01:11:45+00:00

Not a looks comment here. The acne/breakouts has got to be uncomfortable as shit. Get thee to r/SkincareAddiction and read a bit. I have rosacea that literally feels like my skin is on fire when it touches off, and reading though that sub helped me figure out a simple routine that really helps.

The rest... you’re spending a lot of time comparing yourself to an unreachable ideal. You’re putting yourself into some terrible thought spirals and putting yourself down when you do so. You should find ways to short circuit that when you find yourself spiraling like this.

Finally... unplug. Get some books that are fun for you (I’m weird, I enjoy history, but pulp or fantasy or sci-fi novels are great too!) and turn off all the bleepity bloops. Silence your phone, close the laptop. We introverts need headspace most of all and this might help.

Coollogin · 2019-08-25T23:19:52+00:00

I see unattractive men with girlfriends or wives every single day. And they are not all rich. So it is entirely possible for unattractive men to get a girlfriend. There’s something about you in addition to your unattractiveness that is getting in your way.

likethemonkey · 2019-08-28T23:42:03+00:00

It sounds like you don't want to hear what people are telling you. You seem to have a rigid belief about your self worth and are seeking to find someone to change your opinion. I offered to chat with you after your last post. This is the kind of work I do as a profession. You have every opportunity to send me a message. I can help.

It doesn't sound like you want the help, though. You seem to be taking a fundamentally subjective notion -- attraction -- and have assigned an objective truth to it. In the middle ages, people were attracted to overweight bodies because it signified abundance of food supply. Attraction changes. It is subjective. There are different tastes.

I will, once again, also implore you to seek therapy. If you're a student, there are options in your school to see a counselor. If you're under any kind of insurance, there are typically allotments for mental health visits. There are even apps (Michael Phelps is the spokesperson for one of them). It sounds like you're holding beliefs about yourself that are rooted in... something else. They are not real truths. They are just beliefs you're holding. And they reinforce themselves through your resulting actions.

Della_A · 2019-12-09T14:58:31+00:00

If you don't believe a woman when she says she loves you, maybe you will believe a woman when she says she loves someone else. My crush is about 5'7'', skinny, and narrow-shouldered.

Title	Impossible Male Beauty Standards and Masculinity
Author	Throwaway1938241
Upvotes	5
Comments	12
Date	August 24, 2019 9:46 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/cuzl1u/impossible_male_beauty_standards_and_masculinity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/impossible-male-beauty-standards-and-masculinity.299623 https://theredarchive.com/post/299623