My sex drive is driving me insane, is it an actual addiction or is it a real need that must be fulfilled?

maxomai · 2019-08-20T19:25:20+00:00

It's caled being in your twenties and it sucks.

That said, I am firmly convinced that, since you're not in a relationship, there's nothing wrong with seeing a (consenting, adult, not trafficked) sex worker if you want.

Why don't you tell us more about your circumstances?

vu051 · 2019-08-20T21:15:33+00:00

Whether it's an addiction or not largely depends on how much it impacts the rest of your life. If it is, having sex won't help. Have a think about it: does thinking about sex/urge to masturbate interfere with your functioning in a significant way? Do you prioritise masturbating over objectively more important tasks, or feel the strong need to do it in risky situations (e.g. at work)? Does the amount you need to masturbate increase if you indulge, and/or do you experience disproportionately low mood or other unusual symptoms if you take a break? If your answer to any of these is yes, it's definitely worth talking to someone about.

Rad1Red · 2019-08-20T21:37:13+00:00

Not sure how this is sex addiction rather than a normal young person sex drive.

How about finding a proper partner that you can be intimate with regularly, rather than a hookup or a professional? Why is that off the table?

LeftBluejay · 2019-08-20T22:28:20+00:00

I feel like this is an important question here: when was the last time you actually had sex? How much experience do you have with it?

Because here's my experience, I have a pretty high sex drive myself, but it turned out that sex itself isn't really that great at satisfying it. Sex brings with itself another human being into the equation, and besides just pure self-satisfaction you'll (most likely) worry about your partner's satisfaction, your performance, etc, and most likely it's not really going to map well onto the experience of masturbation on its own.

Masturbation, on the other hand, is great, and shouldn't be shunned nearly as much as it usually is. You go at your own pace, and you can find the most tailor-made erotica that could satisfy any fetish imaginable on the web. Not to mention that, if you're feeling experimentative, there's a lot you can do to spice the experience up to an even higher degree (prostate stimulation, for example).

On the other hand, it could take a lot of experience and interpersonal satisfaction to get somewhere really satisfying with your partner, and hookups will probably not be what you're looking for unless you specifically know that this is what you need.

As for the concerns you raise in your post, I don't think there's really anything to worry about. Addiction is a complicated situation where real harm towards your life and well-being is involved (say, getting yourself into debt just to get sex), and I'm pretty sure you ain't anywhere near there, so relax.

But I'll be a bit contrarian on the escort/sex worker question: if you feel like this is not who you are, and that this will somehow run contrary to how you view yourself, and if you think your potential lifelong partner will care about something like this, you'd best hold off on it. Sure, you won't need to tell anyone about this, but if you're an open person who won't be comfortable with that, it'll likely hurt you in the long run.

Jekawi · 2019-08-20T20:04:44+00:00

If your future wife is put off by it, it's not a good sign of that relationship to begin with. Also, stop thinking so far ahead. Future girlfriend would be the stage to share that piece of information.

Title	My sex drive is driving me insane, is it an actual addiction or is it a real need that must be fulfilled?
Author	bigflame123
Upvotes	11
Comments	42
Date	August 20, 2019 7:19 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ct4gkg/my_sex_drive_is_driving_me_insane_is_it_an_actual/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/my-sex-drive-is-driving-me-insane-is-it-an-actual.299635 https://theredarchive.com/post/299635