I want to go to the gym and get a more attractive body, but I’m worried that I would then only attract women that only value looks?

absolutebeginners · 2019-08-02T16:20:06+00:00

Are you attracted to fit girls? Pretty girls? Why is this a bad thing?

sunsinclair · 2019-08-02T16:04:07+00:00

Dude, feeling better about your body will absolutely not only attract women to you for your looks. Women are complex, looks are part of it but not by any means the whole thing. That being said a more attractive body is... more attractive. But there are lots of things to do to make yourself more attractive - be more read, get funnier, be more generous, be darker, etc.

yomimaru · 2019-08-02T18:59:01+00:00

I won't judge for everyone, but I can tell you that for me going to the gym for the first time at 30 was one of the best decisions in my life. Not because I bulked up and improved my posture (I did), but because it teaches you discipline, patience and perseverance. You get sore, you become fatigued, you experience laziness attacks, and then you show up no matter what and your willpower and self-respect grows a little.

SHAKIRAISHOT · 2019-08-02T19:12:12+00:00

attracting more women isnt the same thing as being in a relationship. you can attract the right kind of girl for you, and then have something real with her. to put it simply your worry is bat shit crazy. you will attract more women PERIOD. there is no reason to be believe only the ones who you monkey branch or whatever will be attracted to you.
honestly sounds like you are trying to make up any excuse not to go to the gym. stop it. go.

TheMadWoodcutter · 2019-08-02T19:19:59+00:00

Lots of people are attracted to people with fit bodies, not just shallow people. There's nothing wrong with this. Be the sort of person who has a personality to go along with a fit body, and eventually you'll find a woman who appreciates both, not just one or the other.

Skiddly_bee_boop · 2019-08-02T22:26:36+00:00

Hey homes! So from personal experience A. Like definitely do this. You'll feel incredible. yeah there's the confidence from being buff, but really it's the health. There's no feeling like drinking some water, post workout, mind clear, totally at peace. B) a lot of people like muscles! and some nontrivial percent of them will be good people. C) I kind of fit yr profile - I'm okay lookin, but super skinny. I started bulking up a while ago - I'm not huge, but visibly very fit. Don't be surprised if the girls don't come in droves for the muscles. Some women reeeallly like it. But honestly, there's a lot of diversity in who they're attracted to. As far as romance is concerned, the biggest thing fitness has done for me is confirm - like actually - that connection matters more. Even if you're going for more casual arrangements (which is totally ok), connection is King.

simmingslytherin · 2019-08-02T20:34:07+00:00

my boyfriend is very handsome (way out of my league) but i wasn't even that attracted to his looks when we first met. what i liked about him when we first met was how smart, funny, and confident he was. every girl i know cares about that more than looks, so i really don't think you need to worry about this.
we're not superficial assholes like guys are.. we are superficial assholes in our own different way that doesn't have to do with looks as much as you think.

snowdrone · 2019-08-02T18:49:31+00:00

You're generalizing too much. There are all kinds of people and some will be shallow and others will be more holistic. Good looks from the gym help in the dating pool, but don't forget you can also go volunteer at a blood drive or other good cause and develop your strength of generosity, which is also attractive, and you are also likely to meet less shallow people at such events. Choose the balance that works for you.

Five_Decades · 2019-08-02T21:36:45+00:00

IMO, there is a 'sweet spot' regarding looks, where you are around a 6-8. At that range you're attractive enough that people want to date you, but not so attractive that dysfunctional and superficial people are drawn to you.

When you get into the 9-10 range then a lot of broken and damaged people want to seduce you to compensate for their own self esteem and emotional damage. Lots of narcissists, sociopaths, people with low self esteem and traumatic backgrounds, extremely superficial people, people trying to show off to their friends, etc. I'm assuming these people aren't as drawn to 'cute' people as much as 'hot' people.

At a 6-8 range, you are attractive enough that people will like you, but unless you have a good personality they won't stick around for more than 1 or 2 dates.

So if I were you I'd shoot for that range. Try to be a 7-8 or so in looks.

raziphel · 2019-08-03T02:00:07+00:00

While there certainly are shallow women out there, most... aren't. They're allowed to have their own motivations and reasons.

Being fit will certainly help, but it's not your face, or your muscles, that really does it. It's your personality and who you are as a person that matters. Charisma is a skill just like everything else, and it improves with practice.

Good mental health is a skill that takes practice sometimes too, and part of that is a healthy self-image. Hit the gym, but do that for yourself, not solely to attract women (because otherwise you'll quit as soon as you don't get the results you want, and will be oblivious to the real reasons you're not doing well), and make sure that your physique isn't the ONLY thing you improve.

TLDR: Be someone others want around. Don't limit your understanding and growth by accepting superficial answers like "muscles and money."

bunker_man · 2019-08-03T09:00:14+00:00

Just being attractive doesn't mean its the only reason people like you. Just like putting salt on food doesn't mean that the salt is the only part you like.

bigflame123 · 2019-08-03T09:54:27+00:00

Go to the gym because it makes YOU happy.

RJturtle · 2019-08-03T11:44:37+00:00

I'm a non superficial woman but I still couldn't date someone I wasnt physically attracted to. That doesn't mean I'm only going to attracted to conventionally attractive men, its objective but I am more likely to be attracted to someone who takes care of his appearance and looks healthy. That said even if I am initially attracted it wont go anywhere if I'm not also attracted to your personality, and many times I've dated someone whose looks didn't attract me at first but after getting to know their personality they became more physically attractive to me

rationa2019 · 2019-08-03T16:42:14+00:00

if it doesn't feel genuine, don't follow it, follow your gut instinct. I share your feeling about TRP and I am glad I found this forum, attraction should be about love and liking a person for who he or she is indeed.

I see no reason not togo to the gym and get more fit however. As a woman I can say I like a guy who is fit, but not just for his looks. So improve yourself in the gym AND in other areas such as intellectually, by having a hobby / things in your life you are passionate about, self confidence, caring for other people around you, being genuine, being yourself.

Yesm3can · 2019-08-02T19:35:22+00:00

So what? Humanity can only experience genuine love if all of us are ugly, poor and unhealthy. WTF?

I'll write your PSA even further:

If you are attractive, rich and fit...not only you should never have a partner, you should never have human friends either. Hermitlife FTW.

[deleted] · 2019-08-03T03:18:08+00:00

If you aren’t interested in the best genetic material for your children, then you aren’t a woman. U A THOT

SolidLiquidGasPlasma · 2019-08-08T04:24:42+00:00

But what if she’s so attracted to your looks she falls in love wants to get married support you and never leave you

throoowawayaccounttt · 2019-08-09T03:04:57+00:00

Get a fucking life dude

BMXTKD · 2019-08-13T16:41:52+00:00

Reject them.

DD2398 · 2019-08-19T07:21:46+00:00

There is no magic answer for this I guess. You just have to get to know people for who they are. If you can only have surface level conversations with people, and if they never ask you about your thoughts, beliefs and ideas, then maybe they aren't the person your looking for.

Also, I would recommend limiting how much you talk about your work outs diet etc. Or, instead talk about it in a way that enphasiszes your well being ie "I love how it makes me feel, I like respecting/looking after my temple, gym time is "me time" "etc.

That should communicate that your don't just gym for shallows reasons.

Title	I want to go to the gym and get a more attractive body, but I’m worried that I would then only attract women that only value looks?
Author	bigflame123
Upvotes	11
Comments	56
Date	August 2, 2019 3:52 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/cl5ws5/i_want_to_go_to_the_gym_and_get_a_more_attractive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-want-to-go-to-the-gym-and-get-a-more-attractive.299668 https://theredarchive.com/post/299668