How can I go back? I want to forget everything

slm200 · 2018-05-23T00:56:57+00:00

Speaking as a woman, when we fall in love with a man he becomes the most beautiful person in the world. No one else matters and no one else can turn our heads. Canthal tilt be damned.

Hera81 · 2018-05-23T07:26:12+00:00

This is not good OP, not good at all.

Your GF will sooner or later feel your discomfort, your bad thoughts, your anxiety, insecurity, your cynical thought. You cannot pretend or act like you don't think like that when you are around her forever.

At some point the resentment will slip out, or it will manifest in other form, it will destroy your relationship.

Sure some people in relationship cheated, but they are way few compared to people who just fall out of love after their partners turned into the worse version than what they originally thought before.

Borrowing TRP's lingo, people are angry if they are being baited-and switched on. If you got together with your GF before you went too deep into this RP stuffs, try to get back into the state when your reality was not RP reality.

Just imagine that RP people are living in their own universe. You were just got dragged inside. Find your way back into your previous Universe.

Lilly077 · 2018-05-23T19:18:42+00:00

What bugs you is what bugs women as well. I read a study that stated that over 95% of men who are married or in long term relationships would cheat (have casual sex with another woman) if they were absolutely sure their wife/ gf would not find out. If there was a female misandric version of the red pill, this would be used as a gospel to promote the idea that men must be controlled all the time. Or some crap like that.

Same goes for looks. If anything, I think women are even more self conscious than men about looks.

You are not some weirdo or something, you're not "cursed" to have these thoughts, you're a human being with insecurities. The fact that these things stand out the most to you (fear of being cheated on and lookism) means that those aspects of TRP pushed the right "buttons" in your mind. These insecurities were there, TRP just made them more obvious.

You can't go back. You'll never go back. What's done is done. Thank the red pill for pointing out your own insecurities and think of ways to deal with them. Not the red pill way (though you could lift, haha). Practice some introspection. Face your fears. Ask yourself why are you so scared of your gf cheating (yeah I know it sucks and we all hate it, it is bad - but if the fear is so overwhelming, it may point to other, not cheating related fears). Other than this, ask yourself what you could do to make yourself feel better, to make yourself feel loved by yourself first and foremost - then do it. Look at what's toxic and/or no longer serves you, and then cut it out of your life. Is there something you've been meaning to do for a long time, but didn't? Maybe now is the time to do it. This will increase the respect you have for yourself, and through it you'll value yourself more. Maybe you'll need therapy for some of this, maybe not (I don't know for sure, just a thought). But either way, the thing is, you are now at a place in your life where you really, really need to do something for yourself and your wellbeing.

britdd · 2018-05-24T04:09:03+00:00

The problem is you're following RP-lite. You "don't necessarily believe" in what they say but some parts you still do. Like saying I'm a non-drinker but occasionally have a beer.

Its should actually be easy to de-program or dismiss RP. On a 1 to 10 scale, if for the sake of discussion, a 10 was considered a misogynist, rapist, domineering, women hater and RP follower who despises all women in every sense of the word and a 1 was a staunch male feminist, SJW extremist, Mangina Soy-boy who gets walked over by every woman that their life crosses, where are you on that scale?

Hopefully, you see yourself somewhere in the middle like a 4-5 or 6. Possibly a trusting, assertive, hard-working, smart, Alpha male who tries to stay fit, who respects women overall, but is not blind to their individualistic faults, occasional lies or manipulations. A man who's in touch with his vulnerabilities and who doesn't feel the need to control, dominate and manipulate all women on all levels.

Be that Man and you will have healthy relationships with all Women & Men.

lesbianlizardz · 2018-05-23T21:38:47+00:00

I think where you need to start is deciding that you are worth being loved. You sound really insecure, but what honestly makes that theoretical super buff dude your gf might leave you for better than you? Anyway lookism is stupid, too, some girls are into big noses and others aren't; the same way some dudes like big butts and others want super skinny chicks.

raziphel · 2018-05-24T00:39:42+00:00

You really should get some therapy. it sounds like you're dealing with significant depression.

stripeygreenhat · 2018-05-25T22:13:48+00:00

I currently have a crush on a man with some type of palsy because our first conversation together at a bar involved Peter Krotopkin's The Conquest of Bread and bioinformatics. Healthy attraction isn't a checklist of traits, it's whatever exists in another person that gives you a sense of belonging.

If it makes you feel any better, the entire advertising industry has primed you to be indoctrinated into rp. You won't buy things or pay for most services unless you're insecure in yourself. Escaping the rp lense might involve changing your perspective on how society functions. Specifically, understanding how capitalism shapes power dynamics and how you can resist the effects. On far left leaning positivity groups, this resistance is known as radical self love.

I would advise you to read some cultural critiques if you have the time. If you're genuinely interested, I can send you some authors/titles.

2heliophobic · 2018-06-04T19:54:06+00:00

I'm a female and I have the same exact mindset, just from a women's point of view from reading red pill like material, and having had bad life experiences.

I always feel like there is no chance I will ever have a true relationship in my life because men are too likely to stray, I can't capture their attention forever because I will hit "the wall". It honestly is one of the most depressing things, and makes me wish the internet never existed.

But yes, I too am hyper-focused on looks as a result, how long a women's philtrum is and, if its shorter, how much more attractive that makes her than me. I used to be a decently intelligent person, and now I spend a large amount of my mental energy on things I used to consider very shallow.

[deleted] · 2018-05-28T14:36:24+00:00

I wish I could turn of reading the sexuality at times. I wish I could turn off reading the game, but I can't.

I would be cool to meet someone who did't just want sex.

But it is what it is.

[deleted] · 2018-06-05T03:52:48+00:00

I feel for you OP.

There is lots of hope for you.

These philosophies are rooted in insecure and anxious attachment (all girls cheat). I know that TRP and similar philosophies back this up with "statistics", but it stems from an anxious and insecure mindset.

Have a read into attachment styles, and figure out yours. You might be surprised that you may not have secure attachment right now, and have some healing to do. There are lots of resources out there to feel like you can learn to trust others- and women- again. Believe it or not, a secure mindset is feeling okay and like you will survive whether anyone cheats on you or not. Of course it hurts, but you love yourself enough to pick yourself back up and love again. Securely attached people are capable of doing this. Unlike the people you've come across said- men aren't simps, betas and losers for loving women. Men have huge hearts. It's just the truth.

I'm in womens relationships groups, and there's a lot of deprogramming women need to do as well. Rest assured that you aren't the only one.

Many of us learn very insecure beliefs and habits from others, especially if we don't know what a healthy and mature relationship looks like.

I really recommend that you suspend your disbelief and look into spiritual and conscious relationship theories, like those from David Deida or Barry Selby.

Understand that there's no devil and good guys. You're a man learning to develop into the king that you are, and you can move into your highest truth as a man.

contrarytoast · 2018-06-12T23:55:43+00:00

The idea that there’s an objective physical ideal is... horseshit, scientifically speaking. Advantageous traits just really don’t work like that. Does this ‘lookism’ actually preach that people don’t or can’t have personal preferences? And I frankly can’t imagine an ideology like that not being incredibly racist—nose, mouth and eye measurements can all be linked to ancestry, even if they’re not discussing ‘ideal’ skin tone outright. It sounds concerning, all-together.

Most arguments used to back such ideology are rooted in evolutionary pseudoscience, fueled by insecurity. Advantageous mate-signaling traits need to be quantifiably measured (as they are in the red coloration of cardinal feathers: males who are more bright tend to be healthier, so they reproduce more as in their offspring are more likely to survive—cardinals are monogamous). There also has to be an evolutionary pressure; most scientists think we’re currently not really evolving. Plus our mate selection doesn’t at all imply procreation—which is necessary for the trait to be reproduced (assuming said supposedly-advantageous trait is even linked to genetics! They often are not). Those are my initials, but I can tell you that the science of lookism looks questionable at best.

Also, anecdotally, I used to worry I wasn’t attractive, then I met someone who met my all standards and more, and she considered my biggest insecurity her biggest turn-on! Life’s funny like that. Philtrums really don’t matter all that much.

truespirit89 · 2018-07-09T20:46:36+00:00

aww bro this title is so sad!

[deleted] · 2018-09-25T15:32:56+00:00

I'm a woman and read some of these posts and some on lookism. Geezus, these people are severely mentally damaged. I know plenty of guys with a "positive canthal tilt" who have zero game. Or who have a great jaw line. This is just pathetic. Very pathetic.

Title	How can I go back? I want to forget everything
Author	slm200
Upvotes	5
Comments	33
Date	May 23, 2018 12:39 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/8lf4ln/how_can_i_go_back_i_want_to_forget_everything/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-can-i-go-back-i-want-to-forget-everything.300083 https://theredarchive.com/post/300083