The thing that many of us dread the most happened to me

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December 16, 2019
151 upvotes

I got a random girl pregnant. I'm 28. Unlike most men who go through this though, I did this while traveling. I fucked the girl twice and left. A month later I get a message on Whatsapp saying her period is late, followed by a picture of a pregnancy test a few days later. She claims I'm the only man she's been with in this period. Either way, she only knows my first name, my Whatsapp number, and my nationality, which means I'm not on the hook for any child support or anything else.

I feel bad for the girl though. She's a couple years younger than me. Her life just turned upside down. She sent me a message asking about what baby names I liked. Even messaged me asking if I want to be her husband. I tried to gently say no.

But yeah, I'm making this post (this is asktrp after all) because I don't really know what to think or say or do. What are your thoughts on all this? Honestly, to me, it's crazy. One minute I'm living a normal life (ok, far from normal, but anyways) and the next I've made a baby. I'll be responsible for a new human being walking the planet. I'll have my own DNA walking around somewhere far away.

It's nice to write this though. God knows I absolutely won't tell anyone in real life about this. Not my grandma who's always badgering me for greatgrandkids, not my mom who doesn't bother me about it but deep down desperately wants grandkids (I'm an only child), not my dad who's the most stoic person on the planet. I wish I had a good friend I could really trust. To be honest, I do have good trustworthy friends, it's not their fault... I'm just not a very trustful person. But yeah, even if I can't truly get this off my chest, it's nice to be able to open up with you guys at the very least.


Post Information
Title The thing that many of us dread the most happened to me
Author valkaress
Upvotes 151
Comments 202
Date 16 December 2019 05:44 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/300674
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ebidue/the_thing_that_many_of_us_dread_the_most_happened/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
dread game
Comments

[–]muricanwerewolf1174 points175 points  (15 children) | Copy

She claims I'm the only man she's been with in this period.

Lol. The only pregnancy scare I’ve ever had was a scammer, so I’m probably jaded but she let you fuck her, some random who’s blown into town so what’s the likelihood that that’s true?

[–]battlebrothercain54 points55 points  (13 children) | Copy

Oh boy I have a story...I supposedly got this fwb pregnant. I paid for an abortion (gave her fucking $400 cash), she said she got the abortion and stopped taking to me. 6 months go by and she said she never got it. I paid $2000 for a blood DNA, came back not even fucking mine. Oh the $400 for the abortion? She went to the casino and blew it all.

Dont fucking do shit until a paternity test. Women will pick the best provider out of all the cock they fuck and suck if they get knocked up

[–]muricanwerewolf112 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol Jesus. You’re out more than me for sure. Great story.

[–]depressedfuckboi4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Holy shit man. I just can't comprehend doing that to somebody. That's some vile behavior. Look at it this way though, worth the money you spent to not have to have raise a child with someone like that. Best $2,400 you could have spent.

[–]battlebrothercain1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It was well worth the peace of mind. I was dumb and young, 21 years old and I just thought throwing money at the problem would solve it. Now that Im older, if it ever happened again, I would go at it with a calculated response

[–][deleted]  (8 children) | Copy

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[–]FussyRuss12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she tries to get child support from you the government might pay for the paternity test. Whatever you do, don’t acknowledge paternity without a test.

[–]depressedfuckboi3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

No. Nowhere near as much. Unless you do a NIPP test. It's when they do the dna testing prior to the baby being born. It's also not as expensive as it was when the commenter above went through it depending on area I'm sure. Around me its still expensive, around $1,400. But after birth you can get at home dna tests for fractions of the amount. Or she can petition to have you tested and that's happened to me before and it didn't cost me anything that I'm aware of. Unless they took it out of tax returns because I maybe owed the state for it, but I wanna say it was like 100-200 bucks.

[–]AshyBoneVR43 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why you think Maury still airing?

[–]damaged_goods4200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well it's entertaining, I'll give it that.

[–]sebastianconcept1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When the technology was invented it was many times more expensive than that

[–]VaN__Darkholme0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Shit, dude. It's outright illegal in France. Because of the German occupational forces having lots of children with the promiscuous french women.

[–]BrodinsOats0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

$2000 for DNA testing??? Surely it shouldn’t cost that much?

[–]MardGeer29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy

Listen to this man OP, most likely bullshit, just tell her to fuck off.

[–]swimminginblue281 points282 points  (9 children) | Copy

Until a DNA test proves that it’s your child, it’s not.

You don’t know her motives and women lie. Use this information how you want.

[–]mtl_dood106 points107 points  (4 children) | Copy

e this though. God knows I absolutely won't tell anyone in real life about this. Not my grandma who's always badgering me for greatgrandkids, not my mom who doesn't bother me about it but deep down desperately wants grandkids (I'm an only child), not my dad who's the most stoic person on the planet. I wish I had a good friend I could really trust. To be honest, I do have good trustworthy friends, it's not their fault... I'm just not a very trustful person. But yeah, even

I once met a girl and she wanted to fuck almost immediately. I found this to be a bit strange. I don't fuck randos. Unless I know a girl a bit, I just don't fuck.

When I wouldn't fuck her, she got angry and left. I bumped into her 8 months later and she had a kid. You do the math...she was already pregnant when I met here the first time. And I am 100% sure she was just looking for a baby daddy to swing on to. And that is exactly why I won't fuck randos.

[–]CavillOfRivia65 points66 points  (3 children) | Copy

When I was around 16 I was fucking a girl a couple years older than me, not considered my GF but not a plate either (something in-between).

Anyways, while we were fucking she tells me "Take off your condom, I dont like how it feels" she also reaches to take it off of me. Me beign 16 and scared shitless of getting her pregnant, told her "Well, tough luck for me" stopped fucking her, took off the condom, went to the bathroom and put on my clothes.

Lo and behold, she stops all contact by the next week, and by the following month I hear that shes pregnant.

[–]Shadowslight3x18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

holy shit. that is terrifying.

fuck that

[–]TRPGaveMeLife12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

You are a true soldier. Being able to stop half way through as a hormonal 16 year old, I fucking salute you sir! That was natural selection in action!

[–]RPOpenUp8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not al heroes wear capes

They do use condoms tho

[–]2319Skew30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wait. Hold up. Women lie about sex? Does the public know about this? /s

[–]jackandjill222 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Correct.

[–]svenfromaccounting11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

hehe, exactly this reply OP

[–]jrterry196993 points94 points  (16 children) | Copy

I don't think there is a red pill answer to this beyond verify that its yours (because it could be a scam to get you to pay for an abortion or to support some other dude's kid)....which is why the strongest advice is to not allow it to happen in the first place.

Since it did happen, I'd say for me personally and probably many others - Its your kid, so its your responsibility. If it were me, I'd be eaten up alive by guilt if I ghosted.

Presumably you can afford to pay for your mistake by sending her some cash for support. That'll also mean you can probably form a relationship with the child if you choose to.

[–]Jay_x_Playboy35 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy

Even if you don’t know for sure it’s yours, just the possibility that it could be would haunt me. That’s not to mention abandoning the girl carrying your son, the guilt would kill me.

Tough situation OP, always wear a condom.

[–][deleted]  (11 children) | Copy

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[–]ApoIIoCreed29 points30 points  (7 children) | Copy

We have the technology and lots of different types. If a woman has 100% choice on the life of her baby, she gets 100% choice on getting pregnant and 100% financial responsibility.

Some of the liberal parties in Scandinavia have been advocating for something like this. They call it a Paper Abortion.

The Paper Abortion would be a legal action the father takes before the child is born. It would absolve him of all parental duties... and all parental rights.

Basically their argument is that to truly have an egalitarian society, men and women need to have identical parental rights. Since abortion is a unilateral decision made by the woman, there needs to be a make equivalent.

They haven’t been able to get it pushed into law. I don’t know how I feel about it. It seems like it could work in Sweden where they have a very developed welfare system, I don’t think it would be very viable in America.

[–]wtfdoiaskfor124 points25 points  (5 children) | Copy

Basically their argument is that to truly have an egalitarian society, men and women need to have identical parental rights

That's feminism backfiring in their faces right there

[–]ApoIIoCreed12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy

The far left parties supported this so I’d assume the Scandinavian ultra-feminists did.

I think it’s just a purer form of feminism than we’re used to: actual gender equality.

These are also the countries that have equal, use it or lose it, maternal and paternal leave. They realized feminist issues, like the gender wage gap, are due more to economics than sexism — women on average had less job experience than men because they took time off to raise the kids and men didn’t.

[–]wtfdoiaskfor15 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Wish all countries realized the last thing you said. Where I am right now, that's the case, but for the majority of other countries... nope.

[–]ApoIIoCreed9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

It honestly boggles my mind. I know I’m the minority here but politically I’m pretty liberal. However, one of the things I completely disagree with most American liberals on is the causes of the wage gap. You’ll hear Democratic presidential candidates say “women earn 77 cents on the dollar for the exact same work as men!” which is wholly inaccurate.

The 77% figure just comes from adding up the total earnings of women and dividing it by the total earnings of men — no regard for career choice, hazard pay, experience, or even hours worked. If you account for all of those things the wage gap is much closer to 5% than 20%, still not perfect but a long cry from the dystopian injustice most left leaning politicians make it out to be. I’d argue that a significant chunk of that 5% is due to employers pricing in uncertainty, they know young women regularly drop out of the workforce for a year when its nearly unheard of for young men.

[–]wtfdoiaskfor11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree, I think the same. The TL;DR is that they are full of bullshit.

Also, the meaning of "liberal" has been chewed on and vomited on, so to be crystal clear, I think our views are "classic liberal", so to say.

I am not from the US, but IMO all sides there are horrible. Extremely polarized cheap emotional talk everywhere.

[–]jrterry19690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If OP favored abortion maybe he’d could absolve himself morally. It doesn’t sound like he’s pro abortion though.

For better or worse, there is no current legal option OP has to avoid responsibility.

[–]30dirtyfingers0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Thank you sir!

All this shit about taking care of his responsibility is exactly that...shit. This isnt the dark ages.

So because she got pregnant, he has to be a father? Women have the right to choose pro life or pro abortion, but men have no say? Sounds like OP doesnt want to be a father and thats all it should take. If she didnt want him around, she damn sure would not be contacting him.....she would have said baby and get on with her life (with said baby). But apparently she wants to be a family (with someone she barely knows) and all OP has to say is no thanx and let her make her decision knowing that he has no intention of being involved. Its honestly the only decent play he has (he has the option of not being decent.....his choice to life with).

Had a friend who had a similar situation where the girl got pregnant. When she told him, he said he wasnt capable nor wanted to take care of a baby. She had the baby anyway, assuming he would change his mind once the baby arrived (advice from female friends). When he didnt, she repeatedly claimed that he ruined her life (a life he already said he wasnt interested in, buy y'know, that shouldnt matter when she decided that she wanted that life).

You dont own her anything but honesty so that she can make an honest and informed choice about how she wants to continue her life. A baby is not a decision to make lightly.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]30dirtyfingers0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yeah, I can see that being the case here.

That did go through my mind, but assuming he was actually looking for advice, I answered. Also, I saw a few comments about him "taking care of his responsibility" and couldnt help but chime in with some "objective reality". Your response reminded me that I wasnt crazy.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

he didn't choose the child. he doesn't owe her anything. someone may try to enforce him to pay but he has no moral responsibility and the onus is on her if she brings a child into the world under these unfavorable conditions.

I don't save all my sperm from going down the drain when I jack off

[–]jrterry19691 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I couldn’t disagree more. Unless there’s something OP isn’t telling us, he’s half responsible for this kid (assuming it’s his).

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

having sex with someone does NOT make you responsible for pregnancy. NOR does it make you responsible if they choose to have a baby without your consent. there are soooo many ways to prevent that from happenig. sex does not equal "you have to be a parent" in the 21st century! The young lady is so irresponsible, she is hurting both this guy and possibly a newborn life that she may? not be able to raise properly. WAKE UP

[–]I_LOVE_CHIPS49 points50 points  (1 child) | Copy

"To be fair to us, I also believe that if you decide to have the baby a man shouldn’t have to pay. That’s fair. If you can kill this motherfucker, I can at least abandon him."

-Dave Chappelle

[–]Zanford20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do a reverse image search on that specific positive pregnancy test picture, she may have just found one online.

She'll ask for a few hundred bucks 'for the abortion' in a few days. This is a common scam, and whenever I hear a story with 'sent picture of pregnancy test' it ends up being a scam. The real ones are apparently more likely to just tell you.

The travel / int'l nature fo this one probably increases the chance that it's just a scam or that she was fucking multiple guys.

There's a chance that it's real (in which case there's a chance it's YOURS and not some other dude's) and if you are concerned about a kid growing up poor / without a father, etc., that's a very reasonable moral concern. In that case you should speak to a lawyer about what, if anything, you can do, especially with the 'travel' aspect of this one. For all you know paternity tests are illegal where she lives, or the burden of proof is against you even without one etc. And for the love of god don't give her any more personal info until you've spoken to a lawyer and clearly thought through what you want to do. (And even if you decided you had a real kid and wanted to help financially, maybe doing it NOT through the courts is a better idea so you have more power to make sure the money is actually spent on the kid and not handbags)

[–]Tousen7187 points88 points  (10 children) | Copy

Gonna address the elephant in the room here:

Dude...why the FUCK are you not wearing condoms and busting into randos? Jesus Christ. Are you that poor that you can’t afford a $1 condom? Are you that shit in bed that you couldn’t pull out?

Now some kid has to grow up without a present father or be aborted because YOU couldn’t be bothered to be responsible at 28.

Dude, be a man, find out if it’s yours, then do the right thing and at least TRY to be in the kids life if you can.

[–]HumbleTrees14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Poor man's gold 🏅

[–]clickherebaby8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is the answer

[–]AngryBadger424 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

My fomo is strong due to the inability to read this award winning reply :/

[–]TRPCops[M] 8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Last sentence is moralizing

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]airmcnair061 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Post is still shows for me, it says:

Gonna address the elephant in the room here:

Dude...why the FUCK are you not wearing condoms and busting into randos? Jesus Christ. Are you that poor that you can’t afford a $1 condom? Are you that shit in bed that you couldn’t pull out?

Now some kid has to grow up without a present father or be aborted because YOU couldn’t be bothered to be responsible at 28.

Dude, be a man, find out if it’s yours, then do the right thing and at least TRY to be in the kids life if you can.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy

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[–]kellykebab8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, how hard is it to track someone down nowadays? OP thinks that even though this girl has his real first name, his country of origin, and a phone number (if not screenshots of his face from video chats that he may have failed to mention), that she'll never be able to find him? Or if not her, the kid (if real) isn't going to get curious as he gets older?

[–]Heybuddyyyyyy5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Right?? She has everything she needs...she ONLY has my fucking identity.

[–]LilLoserFreny1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

LMAO💀

[–]Bleu_Cheese_Pursuits2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

He is in a different country. Unless her country has an extradition treaty with his, he is scot-free. Unless, of course, he returns to her country.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck that, her life will be hell she won't have the time, energy, resources to do that he covers up his tracks well. He's homefree.

[–][deleted]  (21 children) | Copy

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[–]VojvodaSrpski6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

B would be the only option for me personally.

[–]jackandjill22-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow. I don't want to know shit in fact I would string her along before I ghosted to make sure she didn't freak out & do anything extreme/irrational.

[–]jackandjill224 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

III. Is more my speed.

[–]sozzos9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

DNA test, don't consider doing anything before you do a DNA test and verify he's your child.

while many people here might disagree with me but I'm old school I come from a middle eastern background and bloodlines are important. if the baby is your child take the responsibility for it. you brought it into this world and you're responsible for it whether the woman is in the picture or not. this child could be a bless t your life and could be a disaster at the same time. abandoning the lady with a kid that's yours on the other side of the world will make you a coward but it is the safest option.

sit back think about it thoroughly get that DNA test done then make a decision.

[–]4thAndLong41 points42 points  (0 children) | Copy

Please tell me you don't believe her when she said you're the only one she's been with lately. She fucked a random traveler (you). You really think she's not fucking another dudes with standards like that? The cynic in me says she runs this little scam to make a little money on the side.

Step 1: Fuck a tourist

Step 2: "I'm late"

Step 3: I need abortion money

Step 4: Profit

At most I would offer to cover the abortion and take it as a lesson learned (wrap it the fuck up when you're traveling).

If you can stomach it, ghost her.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

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[–]TRPCops[M] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Any attempt to post non archive.is links will automatically be removed

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy

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[–]Itsjustnickg5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

She's already asking about names. Won't go over well. She isn't going to have one!

[–]XIIlX1IIll3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she’s trying to get money she will be okay with an abortion because it’s the quickest path to some cash.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best advice here, OP. Better than arguing about fucking human biology or some shit

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why I would Ghost. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. TRP are you going soft on me?

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]VojvodaSrpski1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

100% this.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm going to guess this happened in the Philippines, it's a pretty common scam.

[–]Bleu_Cheese_Pursuits3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

If her country and yours have an extradition treaty, you are very likely going to be held responsible. She likely has enough information to find you. I hope this goes without saying but if you do a DNA test, have her mail the DNA sample to some place that is not directly connected to you (e.g. not your fucking home address) Do not go back to her country under any circumstances, even to the DNA test.

[–]veggieclouds902 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Did you go to the Phil? Hahaha

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]whoareyou313 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

What country?

[–]ThinSpiritual3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

A lot of suggestions on DNA tests. A few points from my view:

  • Assume it's yours, you gotta ask yourself what you want. Remember consensual sex is not consensual parenthood -- this is something you need to tell her. You are unwilling and not ready to be a father.

  • Assume she absolutely wants to keep the child then you have two choices:

1- You hold frame and hold current life priorities. You know she doesn't know who you are so you're off the hook for legal responsibilities.

2- You be there for the child.

Whatever happens I wish u good luck. Remember, you win or you learn. Don't get beaten down by guilt. Adulthood consist of dealing with shit like this. This is life. You look left and right before crossing a road and still get hit by a plane.

[–]its_going_down_6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

So, you didn't mention that you used condoms or that you have doubts, which leads me to conclude that you willingly didn't do so. Why?

[–]11-Eleven-112 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

Did you use a condom? If you did theres like a 99% chance its not yours. If you didn't then yeah I'd go so far as to say 90% chance it is if the times line up.

edit: this post reaks of bullshit

[–][deleted]  (7 children) | Copy

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[–]11-Eleven-112 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Its like you purposely omitted if you used a condom or not and at the time I commented you hadn't given a single response.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy

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[–]11-Eleven-113 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Not that it matters now but why wouldn't you use a condom?!

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

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[–]11-Eleven-111 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

How many weeks ago did you meet her? You might be able to prove its not yours by checking in on how far along she is.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]11-Eleven-111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So 5 weeks. If you get into contact with her again try to figure how far along she is. If she says anything other than what it should be then you might be in luck. Either way you should probably do a dna test.

[–]Itsjustnickg2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ok I'm not going to reply to every comment saying to ask her to get an abortion. I'll do it here.

She is already asking about names. Ship: SAILED. That ship has sailed so long ago that it's over the horizon and out of site.

[–]skippyleg2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

This one is hard obviously. It would eat away at me if true and I ghosted, but then again, men have done this time and time again.

It seems off that she asks you what baby names you like and if you want to marry her. Does she come from a 3rd world country / English isn’t her first language?

No modern age girl in her right mind would ask to get married over text to some tourist she fucked twice.

I smell scam here, but I think it all depends on who it was you fucked. If she really did seem the whimsical type to ask a tourist what to name their baby together, then could be yours. If this also struck you as strange, you might want to investigate.

Also I would say important where you met her. How easy was she to fuck? Need more info but hope you use your best judgment ...

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

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[–]MyUbermensch2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Which country is that? I may be able to help depending on the answer.

[–]skippyleg1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ok, let me think.

First of all if she really was this ‘shy’ Muslim girl she wouldn’t even be on Tinder. I’m friends with a Muslim girl in my circle and I know for a fact she would never even think about having sex or even sleeping in the same bed as a guy before marriage. And this is in America. Something tells me whatever country you were in is even more strict culturally, so she could have potentially been playing up this trope of “oh I’m a good girl, I don’t sleep with random men” in order to make the scam more believable, though you can’t be sure yet.

“Is it true Americans kiss on the first date?” Shit sounds like she could potentially match with any and all Americans on tinder and says that line every time.

I was reading through the comments and the one that struck me as best case scenario is ~ask her to get an abortion, but say you will pay the clinic directly.~

Before you do this though, you need to convince her an abortion is the best case option. Say that you don’t want her raising a kid alone, and you know you can’t be there for the kid considering you live on the other side of the world. Tell her she would be setting up the kid for a really hard life. Also tell her you don’t have much money, and you’ll have to dip into savings to pay for the abortion. (If she’s looking for money, this could turn her off) Also make it very well known that you. do. not. like. her. nor. will. you. ever. like. her. or. amuse. the. idea. of. being. together.

If she agrees to the abortion and let’s you pay the clinic, bingo, problem solved. If she wants you to pay her directly, refuse, and tell her that when she says that it makes you think she’s lying. She probably is. See if she lets you pay the clinic again. If not, consider if reasons are bullshit, then ghost.

If she says no to an abortion, and says she wants to keep it, not much you can do outside of trying to convince her otherwise. Then just wait to take a paternity test when the kid is born to see if you’re on the hook, or off the hook. If on the hook, see what the country requires you pay her. Plus you’re a dad. Congratulations.

Hopefully it doesn’t come to this and she’ll get an abortion — research all about whatever country /city you were in and their accessibility to abortions there.

Also never don’t wear a condom again bro unless you’re with an LTR.

[–]shubhidoobi2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your first response should be that you've had vasectomy done or you are infertile, to call her bluff.

[–]Nergaal2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You should get your dick checked. If you got her pregnant and you are unsure she banged somebody else, then chances she passed onto you some bug.

[–]MakoShark937 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just don't be a deadbeat. That kid will grow up fucked up, and probably be like you were before you found TRP.

[–]HumbleTrees4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

My contribution, for whatever it's worth to you:

There is no guarantee this child is real. If it's real, there is no guarantee it's yours. Find out both before considering any other options. You could very well draw up a contract to say you'll pay half of any fees needed, but they are to be repaid in full within 60 days should the paternity test show the child is not yours. Have both parties sign it and have a lawyer or "r/legal advice" support with drafting the contract and any local considerations based on her country of residence.

Once you've got that sorted out, now you need to know what to do. Does she want to keep it? Do you want to keep it?

You knew the consequences and now they've arrived. I've been here before too mate. I was dating the girl and we split and she fell pregnant. There was no bullshitting though, that was real. She didn't want to keep it, I did.

Next, if you decide you both want to keep it, then it comes down to you. If she was good enough to fuck, maybe she's good enough to have something more with? For s kids sake it's worth a shot at least. Don't disappear and ghost. That's just a shit thing to do and you'll only come to hate yourself if you did that.

[–]TRPCops[M] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Don't link anywhere that's not archive.is, post gets auto removed

[–]HumbleTrees1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Noted. Cheers. Was only trying to help the bloke

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the heads-up

[–]oldslut1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

what country is she from op? depending on where could increase the likelihood of my theory--that she might be scamming you for money. maybe a quick one off abortion payoff. maybe she will go for the longer term monthly baby daddy jackpot.

the whole things sounds fishy, but, we also don't know enough of the details.

with that said, if it is true, her knowing your cell phone number could be all that she needs to find you, especially in today's #metobullshit world. so, just be careful and don't even think about agreeing to anything before a paternity test. also, make sure you do so soon enough, because depending on what country, you may lose your rights to contest if you wait too long.

[–]Trip-trader1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude this is highly likely to be a scam. Go look on Pattaya forums men get home then get sent messages saying the girl they were with are pregnant and are shown a fake pregnancy test. Next they get calls from the girls mother saying you got my girl pregnant we need money to support baby, have health scan, pay for doctor etc etc.

The fact she asked you what baby names you liked sounds very scammy to me.

I’m a pro at spotting scams.

Consider it a scam until you have hard evidence otherwise. And DO NOT send them money when they ask and they will ask/demand.

Also I like the idea of asking her to abort the baby, say you’ll pay for it whatever it costs and see her response, if she ends up saying ok but it’s expensive pay me, I’ll do it. Then as the other guy above says. Tell her you’ll pay the clinic yourself direct not to her. Then watch the bullshit fly. A scammer will dodge and weave to get you to pay direct to her, if she does any of that just block her and you know 100% it’s a scam.

[–]barryg1231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There are people in real life you can talk to about this. Namely, a priest and a lawyer. I encourage you to.

[–]l1ght-1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

First and foremost I’d pay for the paternity test and see how the results come back.

If it’s yours, you get to decide how much you want to be in the child’s life. Is it feasible for you to visit every so often? Can you avoid to send some monthly every month to support?

If you decide to be an active father, which I would since it’s being responsible, I’d advise you get receipts for everything that is asked for. Also speak to a lawyer and make sure you get proper visitation and can see your child whenever needed.

she’s still someone you don’t really know so you have go be careful.

What is your opinion on the mother?

[–]send_it_for_the_boys1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with these guys it’s not yours til a paternity test. Don’t sweat it. Look on my recent post history I did something similar there’s some good advice in the comments in the post as well.

[–]jchrist981 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–]yellowfart1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If its anywhere is Asia (probably South America too) its one of the classic scam and she will soon ask for money to abort or some shit like that.

[–]depressedfuckboi1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Consequence time. You have to man up unless you're comfortable with the guilt associated with leaving a child out there to fend for himself with an irresponsible mother. I wouldn't plan on any financial involvements until you're certain it's your child. You can test prior to birth, but it comes with a cost. Roughly 1,500+. Otherwise test after birth. Your actions got you here and if it's your baby, as a man who knows right from wrong and handles his responsibility, then you know what to do.

That being said, if she let you, a random tourist she doesn't know, sleep with her unprotected with no birth control, then believe there's about a 1% chance that you're the only one she was with during that time frame. Verify verify verify. This is your life and future on the line. Don't commit to anything until you know for certain.

[–]TRPCops[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

14 day ban for moralizing

[–]whoareyou311 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why is this even a dilemma? It’s very simple. DNA test like everybody has suggested. Youre 28. If it’s your child and she wants to keep it then take responsibility.

It’s not the end of the world. Could be way worse like having a child when youre 18 vs 28.

[–]redpillcad1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Happened to me a couple times. Ghosted. Never looked back

[–]Ankuno_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why are you fucking girls you don't know without a condom, what's wrong with you?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A month later I get a message on Whatsapp saying her period is late, followed by a picture of a pregnancy test a few days later. She claims I'm the only man she's been with in this period.

Is she asking for money? Because "pretending to be pregnant" is a very well known con as old as time.

I'll have my own DNA walking around somewhere far away.

Sure. If you believe literally every word said by a stranger with a financial motivation to lie.

Until you have genetic proof (never send her anything of course!) then this is all a maybe.

[–]Whitefarmer3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

If it’s yours pick a name you like start a savings account start small 50$ a month and increase to fit your job. If you can’t set a little money aside for her and your child you probably should keep your dick in your pants

Who knows you might see the little shit and like the fact the world has a new redpill shit lord to fuck shit up lol

Get used to saving a little money so if you and mom can’t get along you can support a little

[–]fr33wh33l3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow, it's cool to see so many reasonable answers here. Not what I expected.

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[–]Lateralanouncer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea. He should marry the casual fuck, work 80 hours a week to provide a good life for her. after 7-12 years let her divorce rape him and live happily ever after while she has her hand out for vagina money.

[–]4thAndLong-5 points-4 points  (11 children) | Copy

/u/TRPCops here's another moralizing simp that wants a temp ban.

[–]MakoShark934 points5 points  (9 children) | Copy

You don't gotta snitch like that just cause you don't like what he said. Opp headass.

[–]4thAndLong0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Call it what you want, faggot. I'm just trying to keep the moralization out of this sub as it should be. TRP is amoral and there's a bunch of beta white knight fags in here trying to be captain save-a-ho.

[–]MakoShark930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha, you are a bitch. Keep on doing your best, you'll definitely get recognized -- Ole I am the guardian of the gate I must be right all the time or else headass boy.

[–]redxpeace0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

No moralizing is a rule of the sub

[–]MakoShark932 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Word. Snitch 9 sympathizer headass.

[–]TRPCops[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Banned for 9 days headass

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[–]TRPCops[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't give legal advice. I'm not a lawyer.

But I will tell you some cold hard facts.

  • She has lots of legal options, and lots of legal rights, and lots of laws on the books that were passed with her welfare in mind. You have none of these things.

  • The system does not have a conscience, and it doesn't know the meaning of the word "fair". It will take your last dollar and then throw you in prison for being broke.

  • Only DNA can prove the child is yours, and your DNA is unique to you. Anyone who cannot find where you live, work, or hang out, who can't find you... can't find your DNA.

  • Whisper, a random dude who nobody in the courts or legislatures is aware of or listens to, happens to think that responsibilities come from choices, and choices come from rights, and therefore he who has no rights in a situation has no responsibilities.

  • The glass ceiling for your reproductive rights is "you should have kept it in your pants". Women didn't really like it very much when they were told they should have kept their legs closed, so they took action at the ballot box to make sure their rights didn't end at sex.

  • Men haven't done this, because there is no male solidarity. Men look out for women, not for other men.

  • The only person looking out for you is you.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (13 children) | Copy

You're a piece of shit if you dissapear

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (7 children) | Copy

You're a piece of shit if you dissapear

Taking OP at his word....taking the girl at her word (lol, I know)....the girl let a stranger from another country raw dog her. She has some responsibility here.

Edit: downvoted in a red pilled sub for suggesting women take responsibility. SMH.

[–]bionix909 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy

No one is saying it isn't her responsibility as well but if a DNA test proves that the child is his, he needs to man up.

Real men take care of their own children.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Exactly.

[–]TRPCops[M] -8 points-7 points  (0 children) | Copy

7 day ban for moralizing

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

he needs to man up.

dafuq?

[–]bionix90-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, that phrase is often misused in the context of men taking shit from women and being beta providers. Sometimes, it is appropriate to say that a man should be a man.

Like entitlement. There's nothing wrong with that as long as it's not undeserved.

[–]TRPCops[M] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

14 day ban for moralizing

[–]Airbatic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

downvoted in a red pilled sub for suggesting women take responsibility. SMH.

Yea the sub has been overrun :/

[–]c4toyourdoornobeef1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

simp

[–]TRPCops[M] -3 points-2 points  (3 children) | Copy

14 day ban for moralizing

[–]Itsjustnickg-3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy

So do you have kids?

[–]TRPCops[M] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

No ban, but you're asking dumb questions.

[–]Itsjustnickg-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not a dumb question at all.

[–]dtyler861 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Father here (33), became father at 17 to virginity losing one night stand. My daughter and I have a strained relationship at best, I’ve been paying a life changing amount in child support, the mother poisons her mind and lies about almost everything she can to make my daughter favor her; it all sucks. Far in between have I had those moments where you really hold your kid and think God I love this, my daughter has never shown me love, never called to wish me Father’s Day or birthday wishes, this is basically the lifestyle you will be willing to except maybe even worse. However with that being said, I do know regardless of what credit I’m given from my daughter or her mother that her life is better because of me being in it. The conversations we have had, the advice I have given her, the financial support I have provided, at least I know that she’s not starving suffering somewhere and that something I could never live with not knowing.

[–]wowkwo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get a paternity test, but if it is your child then you need to raise it.

You shouldn't let your DNA get fucked up by refusing to give your offspring a father.

[–]party_dragon1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Currently in a LTR so not my immediate concern, but I've thought about it before... I know it's some men's explicit strategy to travel around and impregnate as many girls as possible (without giving her any trace of his real identity). Personally, I couldn't do it, as I want all my actual children to be well-adjusted human beings, which also means being a non-absent father and helping bring up the kid (like, not necessarily being 100% stay-at-home dad, but being around enough to engage with the kid, teach him/her, be a role model, etc.)

[–]kellykebab1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I'm just going to repeat what most everyone else has said. Verify this is real. Suggest an abortion if the pregnancy is early along (just my personal moral feeling). If she has the kid, get involved. You're going to feel like a monster if you've literally fathered a kid and completely abandon him or her. Fatherless homes are one of the worst social plagues going on today and objectively contribute to crime as well as other social problems. If you don't want to tell your family, fine, but I don't think you can or should wave away a human life you created (if this girl's story is true).

[–]Itsjustnickg1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

She will have the kid. She's asking him for names. She probably has her own favorites picked out. She isn't aborting Johnny or Suzie!

[–]kellykebab0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Probably true. But people can be unpredictable. Women especially can change their minds dramatically over relatively short periods of time. If this guy has a really clear conversation with her and says that he isn't going to talk to her ever, much less the kid without a legitimate paternity test, that might wake her up a bit. If he also impresses on her how impractical it will be for him to be involved with the kid when he's from a foreign country and how bad this will be for the kid, she may wake up even more.

It's certainly worth trying. The alternative is pretty serious.

[–]TRPCops[M] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dangerously close to moralizing here

[–]kellykebab3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm giving practical advice that includes the consequences for one of OP's potential choices. Those consequences are not my opinion, they are confirmed facts which I could provide sources for. The suggestion that OP will feel guilty is perhaps less objectively definite, but it still is probabilistically very likely, if OP is like most people. Again, a relevant consequence to consider.

Part of applying the Red Pill, in my view, is to make decisions with full knowledge of what may result rather than under a self-satisfying delusion. If OP wants to accept these consequences and proceed along a path I might disagree with, there's not much I can do about it. But I think this advice is relevant to his initial decision-making process.

[–]liquorbaron0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Gonna throw another one out there. Let's say you do ghost her. Let us also say it is indeed your child. Would it be possible to track you down if she does a dna test and uses a dna database to track you down sorta like how police tracked down that serial killer in California?

[–]HumbleTrees0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My contribution, for whatever it's worth to you:

There is no guarantee this child is real. If it's real, there is no guarantee it's yours. Find out both before considering any other options. You could very well draw up a contract to say you'll pay half of any fees needed, but they are to be repaid in full within 60 days should the paternity test show the child is not yours. Have both parties sign it and have a lawyer or advice from one of the legal advice subreddits assist you with drafting the contract and any local considerations based on her country of residence.

Once you've got that sorted out, now you need to know what to do. Does she want to keep it? Do you want to keep it?

You knew the consequences and now they've arrived. I've been here before too mate. I was dating the girl and we split and she fell pregnant. There was no bullshitting though, that was real. She didn't want to keep it, I did.

Next, if you decide you both want to keep it, then it comes down to you. If she was good enough to fuck, maybe she's good enough to have something more with? For s kids sake it's worth a shot at least. Don't disappear and ghost. That's just a shit thing to do and you'll only come to hate yourself if you did that.

[–]beefstockcube0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

As a father I simply couldn't do this.

Abortion = Ships sailed on that mate.

DNA = You need to be 100% sure this is actually your kid.

If it is, then sort out your shit. This chick obviously wants a family unit (she's a lot of red flags but whatever) so man up and raise your kid to the best of your ability.

If it isn't - bail.

[–]TRPCops[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

7 day ban for moralizing

[–]HoldMyBagBiyotch0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If she’s already talking about names, this isn’t real. There are far far FAR more important things you’re thinking about when unexpectedly pregnant. This is not one of them.

[–]QueenSlapFight0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Did she hit you up for money yet? Ask for you to pay for the abortion? Sounds scammy.

[–]Itsjustnickg0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Get the DNA test. It will eat you up if you don't. I honestly don't know how some people can say to just ask her to get an abortion. Think about that for a minute. You're really telling her to kill your son or daughter.

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy

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[–]Itsjustnickg-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

She's a hoe bag? Why'd you fuck a hoe bag? Look kiddo, she's asking you for names. She ain't having an abortion. That's out. Forget it. If the DNA matches you, you WILL have a kid.

And I'll warn you right now, if you even hint around abortion, she will never trust you with that child. Never ever. Neither will her family. It will always be an adversarial relationship.

She essentially proposed to you. Have you ever proposed? I have. Twice. It's hard for a guy and we're expected to do it. The second time I proposed, my girl was pregnant and it was still hard. Even though rationally I'm thinking "What's she going to do? Say no? She's pregnant." You're girl proposed though. She's not supposed to. I don't care if it was over WhatsApp. She still did it. I can't imagine how hard it was. My guess is she's not a hoe bag.

Is this her first kid?

[–]redxpeace0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Fuck no, typing a text message is not hard. She's looking for captain save a hoe. OP is a retard for not using a condom but chances are he was not the only one and the baby isn't even his. DNA or bail.

[–]Itsjustnickg0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You don't know if she is looking for captain save a hoe or not. This could be her first kid. I agree with DNA or bail though.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Don't feel bad for ghosting, and this comes from a love child. Forget these animals talking about 'your dna'. I can tell you see things like they do, don't. Not only does the child not have a choice in the matter, you don't either. Ghost the bitch, she has every option and you only have two. Trust me when I say that you're more likely to make both your lives difficult than being a 'real man' and helping out.

You know how you can help out and not feel guilty? Save money, get famous, do something with your life. And when the kid comes to find you, if they come to find you, you'll be in a position to better their lives. Without having to go through the years of torture where the child is treated like a bargaining chip to drain you of whatever will to live you have left.

Fuck all these people with their self rightoues claims of manliness. It's a facade and imo is 'beta' as fuck.

At the end of the day, she has to make the decision to keep it or not. You don't get a choice, so make the only one that counts and get the fuck out of dodge.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

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[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Internet points, poor me. The one who was meant to see it will see it

[–]KaiSmashSmashSawmash0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Did you cum inside this women

[–]LilLoserFreny4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

What do you think dumbass?🤔😂

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[–]KaiSmashSmashSawmash2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

It’s okay I only cried a little. But fr I don’t understand why guys/you do this? I can understand if it’s your gf on BC. But a random girl whose not a BC. I don’t get it

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[–]KaiSmashSmashSawmash1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What do you think you’re gonna do?

[–]KidGrizz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not tryna be mean or anything but did u ask her is she want to abort it? I mean she really want to have a baby by a dude who she dont know his last name? She don’t seem too smart to me. I have a daughter n not with baby moms. It’s not fun at all! I would advise against it unless you are married or she is at least your gf.

[–]xxx69harambe69xxx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeetus that fetus

[–]AlgaeEater0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Her asking what baby names you like, instead of freaking out is a red flag.

She's lying

[–]The1ndex-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Abortion?

[–]Aswad44-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

  1. Put a fucking condom.
  2. She wants money, any woman without the parental claim been fixed will ask you about names for the baby.
  3. Shut up and move on, I don't think she's pregnant. If she is, it's not yours.

[–]Lateralanouncer-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

As a father with children in the states and my home country. A friend once said don’t worry about your children they are with there mother and she is the best person to look after them.

I also pay child support.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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