How to escape this "crabs in a bucket" cycle?

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December 18, 2019
79 upvotes

I'm in high school. I'm the valedictorian of my class and the guy who has done the most shit for the past 4 years. I have the highest SAT scores in my school's history. I kept it pretty much to myself until the end of junior year when I started becoming more social and outgoing. I have also gotten in shape, and my life changed dramatically after TRP.

However, ever since that happened, my life has been nothing but a constant stream of shit tests. It's not bullying, but it's definitely getting on my nerves. Women do nothing but shit test me in my face, making negative comments on everything from my appearance to my body. When I'm not around, however, I have been told that the ones who shit test me go on to say how attractive I am. I have even heard a few of them whispering how "I'm so hard to get" and how they wish to be with me. It's mind boggling to be honest. The same thing applies when it comes to my male friends. They all shit test me in a very disrespectful way.

I always try to maintain frame. I just smile or laugh it off when someone makes such comments. I don't respond or make comments about them in retaliation. However, it's gotten to a point where I just can't fucking take it anymore. It's so annoying that I have to deal with this to maintain my frame. The problem is all those who shit test me don't have strong frames themselves. When I tease any of them, they would act very offended and would lose every single bit of frame they have. It's very funny and disgusting to watch at the same time.

It's not that I really care about shit tests. It's just that I believe I deserve to be treated with more respect.

What should I do? Should I stop smiling or laughing it off when someone shit tests me and just keep a straight face? Should I break frame and insult them back? How can I escape this crabs in a bucket cycle? I'm sick of it.


Post Information
Title How to escape this "crabs in a bucket" cycle?
Author A2C1
Upvotes 79
Comments 35
Date 18 December 2019 09:55 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/300944
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ecjaz4/how_to_escape_this_crabs_in_a_bucket_cycle/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
frameshit testthe red pill
Comments

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten122 points123 points  (9 children) | Copy

This is natural. People are envious little children.

All of this is a signal to keep your frame where it's at. When you land in college, you'll have a bigger pool of high quality people. Be selective, but stay genteel to the lesser people. Magnanimity is very magnetic.

When you've upgraded your social group none of this will matter.

[–]johncillo12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

Also OP, if you think you deserve to be treated in a certain way, remember that respect is earned, once you truly don’t give a fuck and nod and smile to negative people and brighten everyone’s day. You will be a leading force. Right now you are in the phase where everyone needs to test you to see if you are congruent inside and out until you earn your place because you intimidate them, keep going:

“XV. Maintain your state control

You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, shit tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.”

-Roissy

[–]CrackDaMarco3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've been in this position a million times with so many different people, and it took me so long to recognise this is what was happening until I started learning Red Pill philosophy, and other great self help books. OP, heed what both commenters are saying above - learn to recognise the signs, but don't grow resentful. These people could be your family, your best friends, lovers, etc... And it might be hard to realise that even these people want to keep you at their level or lower, but understanding why is the key, and you can actually have sympathy for them and know you're justified, and on the right path. Help them, even. That's being magnanimous. If they're too toxic, leave them in the dust.

[–]Imhaveapoosy-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like a shit deal lol.

[–]serynada36 points37 points  (0 children) | Copy

don’t break. you can’t control the actions of others.

start checking out. surround yourself with high value people and prepare for the next chapter in your life.

laugh, smirk, banter, ignore, withdraw (high value people don’t pay attention to things that don’t serve them). do you. you’re more valuable. why would you care about the opinions of people beneath you?

[–]Snowboard1824 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

There mad because your accomplishing more than them. Get used to it, actually embrace it. People are shitty, they can’t stand to see someone outdoing them due to their own insecurities, don’t let it get to you man just keep grinding.

[–]muricanwerewolf116 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Chill out. You’re 6 months away from never seeing these people again if you don’t want to. I’ve always been friends with ball busters, but it sounds like these are pretty insecure people, which, understandable. You’re all still kids. You’ll go off to college and these interactions will either mellow or change, or you’ll replace these people with new friends.

High school is rife with insecurity and immaturity. Don’t let it get to you.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

It will never end. Cherish those friends who don't do this. Never consider anybody who does do this to be a friend.

So it goes.

The good part is it will get easier to deal with if you focus on asking why it bothers you and reflecting on ways to calm yourself down and not give a fuck.

[–]CrackDaMarco1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some people are lucky to even have 1 friend who isn't like this, let alone 2 or 3. Everyone has shit on their shoes, but some keep theirs clean.

[–]ThinSpiritual5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can speak to this from experience. I was valedictorian of my school too and set the highest score that was unbeaten to this day. In relative terms, I was not that smart, the school was just too much of a shithole. When I got to college my grades were fluttering at mean/median levels when compared to my classmates, because they were much smarter. So the first thing you need to remember is to continue to work hard and not get complacent, and very soon you'll get to meet and hang out with higher quality people.

I can guarantee you your life path will be very different from those who are mocking at you now if you stay focused.

"The divine masculine is an ever-present consciousness." - The Way Of The Superior Man

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

If high school doesn't suck, you do.

Think about it. You are forced to be there, with the children of a bunch of people who are too lazy to homeschool their children and too broke to send them to private school, getting fed a bunch of bullshit selected for your consumption by government, as dispensed by losers who with a college degree and no marketable skills except "unionized babysitter", and being graded on how well you avoid taking risks or making any sort mistake you might learn from.

If you are comfortable in that environment, if you don't rage every single day at the bars surrounding your world, then you are the human equivalent of unflavoured rice cakes, and you only exist because someone out there has to get excited about the new flavour of doritos.

[–]TreatYouLikeAQuean3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

wordsmith

[–]thrwy754794 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Congrats on the improvements.

Regarding the haters, they probably like you, and attacking you is a way of getting your attention.

Benjamin Franklin may advise the following: Ask them for help.

It doesn't have to be something big, a small favour would do. For instance, "Hey, I forgot my stuff at home, can I borrow a pen?" or, "Damn, he was writing fast, did you get any of the notes on X topic?"

Don't do it all the time, that would mean you're incompetent. However, done the right way with your haters, it can show them that you're not arrogant, and can depend on others like anyone else.

[–]TominatorXX4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some really good advice I heard one day was that you might learn something from even the dumbest person. They still might know something that will be helpful and useful to you. The fact that you ask doesn't even matter what they say they will like the fact that you asked them. It will endear people to you.

[–]Kuskozzz1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I see that you're applying to college.Be aware that shit tests are going to escalate now as everyone is stressed about their own college decisions so their feelings of contempt are magnified.I'd actually recommend that you be more reserved now in the way you interact(less friendly).Insecure teenagers are a bitch and you won't see them in 6 months.Really what they say simply does not have any value.Keep your eyes on your future.

[–]fretty5551 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I isolated myself for a long time in college because I couldn't seem to get along with very many people, everyone was so different from high school. Most of my semesters are spent alone, or with a group of people, but alone inside. I'm at a point where I have completely lost my sense of self and find it very difficult to interact with others, especially those I can't get along with. How do I deal with this? The right answer is to choose who I associate with wisely, but I always feel like I owe people something, like not be rude, or always inclusive stuff like that. But lately it's just been backfiring. How do I deal with this? I'm also pretty socially absurd at the moment.

[–]sweeet30 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds like you need to improve yourself before improving your social scene. Do you feel like you're making progress towards something? Are you lifting? Do you have a goal/vision of yourself for the future?

[–]fretty5551 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, I had achieved all of this, but then I started smoking weed like crazy, and became nihilistic again, and lost it all. So yeah I know what I need to do to remedy it.

[–]innominating1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Getting shittested is a sign of respect. If it’s coming from a girl, it’s flirting. If it’s coming from a beta, he views you as a worthy opponent. Give him dominant eye contact and agree and amplify, or pressure flip, or ignore.

[–]Ron00710 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

nice dude, ty, never looked at it that way

[–]LethalShade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The best way to handle a girl's shit test is turning it around as her hitting on you. "You don't have to play coy because you like, you're cute. Come here and be nice." 9/10 they giggle, melt and they're yours.

You don't actually have to pursue them if you're not attracted to them but it'll get them chasing you hard and never daring to insult you again.

[–]Myagooshki40040 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why not joke with them about their shit tests and give them a come back? Might turn into a cum back, if you know what I mean. 😉

[–]Pooddit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The support you publicly because they have to, you're high value and to take attention off of them for trying to tear you down and break you privately.

[–]brendan20150 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Damn can we trade lives?

[–]strainer1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It never ends, they never stop, just go MGTOW.

[–]mrpoopistan-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

It's not that I really care about shit tests. It's just that I believe I deserve to be treated with more respect.

In other words, you're an entitled cunt, and all the people who are shit testing you have your number right. Good work, dumbass.

The problem is that you up-ended their image of you. Shit testing is natural and even desirable under these circumstances.

You are the reason shit tests exist. They know you're a fake, and they're going to rattle you loose come hell or high water.

Win the shit tests and quit whining. Otherwise, accept the verdict of the masses because they appear to have your whiny bullshit called out right.

They all shit test me in a very disrespectful way even though we are on pretty good terms.

I'm gonna need an example of a respectful shit test. This just seems like a waste of the English language, like when someone says a cat is an asshole. You could easily just say "cat" without ever saying "asshole."

[–]bigmacked45 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

This comment is totally an example of a disrespectful shit test 😂

[–]mrpoopistan-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, the kid is huffing his own farts and wondering why other people don't tell him they smell amazing.

[–]genital-love-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

stfu pussy.

first off, use less words when u talk, nobody gives a shit what u say

second, life's a game nigga, just have fun, it's banter



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