I'm writing this because I think my story is helpful to other men in this community.

A few weeks ago I walk into the gym and find my wife of 11 years working out with a unknown man. At home that night, she explained he was just a guy she works out with occasionally and it's no big deal. After noticing her behavior change, I became suspicious and secretly checked her phone. Sure enough they were having intimate conversations on FB Messenger, having an "Emotional Affair". I confronted her immediately, asking if she has any communication with him outside the gym. She lied and said, "Yes, we talk but all we talk about is our workouts." They've talked about way more than just workouts. I asked her to include me on all communication and not to workout with him alone unless I am there. She gladly agreed to those terms.

I know exactly what she was doing. I know why she was doing it. And I also know why she lied about their conversations. I know all these things because I've done it to her multiple times.

Several years ago I was a gym owner and I had hundreds of female clients. The women were amazing - sexy, funny, athletic and smart. And most importantly, they respected and adored me as their coach. I relished the text messages and their flirtatious banter. I enjoyed the nonstop harem of young, attractive women fighting for my attention. And I did exactly what she did. I began texting them "about the workouts" which quickly turned into texts about everything except the workouts. I would meet them in the gym to workout for hours, leaving my wife at home. When she would confront me I would immediately reply, "There's nothing going on! Don't be so jealous!" And I was being honest, I never once touched any of these dozens of women in a sexual manner. But I did have affairs of the heart, she knew it and I knew it.

Somehow, through the grace of God, she stayed with me and forgave me.

We've always had a wonderful marriage. We spend most of our day together and we are best friends. We play sports together, we have sex almost everyday, we have 4 wonderful children and we attend church together. Yet, my wife is a human being born into sin and there was a part of her a few weeks ago, whether she admits it or not right now, that loved having me at home and another man on the side. That's exactly what I loved with my trysts - the attention, the validation, the exciting secret emotional affair without any guilt.

But now I do have guilt and shame for what I've done to her because now I feel betrayed. I feel insecure. I feel embarrassed. And worst of all I feel exactly how she felt all those times I did it to her.

11 years ago we took a vow to "Forsake all others" and I broke that vow in my heart. So did she. We are both sinners and need forgiveness.

Going forward, we decided I will never text, email, or facebook messenger a girl without including my wife. And I asked her to do the same. I need the accountability of open communication to my wife. And for the sake of our kids and our marriage it's time to bring everything into the light.

Hope you guys avoid the mistakes we've made. Pray for us!