Anybody else feel like this?

helaughsinhidden · 2019-04-16T13:55:57+00:00

1 Cor 7 32-35

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

Here Paul considered being single a blessing, free of anxieties, undivided in his mission to please the Lord. Many men burn in the flesh and pine after women. Blue pill men chase their own wives endlessly to their own downfall.

Matthew 19:10-12

The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”

Jesus actually went as far as to say it is BETTER to not marry. Both of these contexts are to focus on being single for the sake of the kingdom work, to please the Lord. This would not open the door to being a player and sleeping with women without commitment as TRP teaches. It would look more like the MGTOW life without the bitterness and animosity towards women and seeking God's will instead of "your OWN WAY".

Perhaps you haven't met a quality woman yet? Perhaps you are called to the voluntary celibate life to serve God better? Perhaps you do want the companionship of a woman, but her external beauty is not really high on your list of priorities?

I think this is something to bring up in prayer and ask the Lord, who is alive and answers prayer and freely gives wisdom to those who ask, what your calling is and why you feel as you do.

OneJealousGod · 2019-04-16T13:30:29+00:00

Realize TRP is not as linear as we would wish sometimes. I’ve gone through countless cycles now of falling in and out of that phase you’re describing and I can only tell you that regardless of where in the process you are now, love the process.

Don’t let yourself get bogged down in thinking too much or trying to understand it all. You say you would love to meet someone with whom to start a family. Let me ask you, are you being the type of person that special someone would absolutely go for, or are you just sitting around waiting for someone to say, this is good enough?

Begin seeking not the person who you think will fulfill you, your SO, and instead become the person who fulfills, not just for you or her, but for friends, family, neighbors, etc. Become your ideal self and seek to grow. Once you’re on that track, the right person will appear to help you along.

Red-Curious · 2019-04-16T16:34:42+00:00

This post is an intriguing byproduct of living in a blue pilled culture. "Guys, everyone gets so excited about relationships and dating and marriage. I feel like I should get excited about that too, but I don't. Is something wrong with me? I wish I wasn't this way."

Here you've innately escaped the cultural compulsions, but instead of embracing it for the theological beauty that it is, as /u/helaughsinhidden pointed out through key biblical passages ... the world has conditioned you to make you think you're the problem. Society would characterize you with a mental health disorder for not wanting the same things everyone else wants. God characterizes you as blessed because you don't desire the things of this world the same way everyone else does.

All of that being said, if I take your attitude a few steps further, it could lead to an impression that you're depressed. Do you have trouble motivating yourself to go to work? Do you isolate yourself from other men? When's the last time you went out to the movies or hiking or bike riding? Depressed people tend to lock themselves up in their houses and avoid these types of things - if you're not doing that, but you still lack desire for these things that the world obsesses over - that's a beautiful thing.

But when you say things like, "I'd like a family," but you can't explain how the thought of having a family excites you, it makes me think that you're still operating in blue pill conditioning. You want want everyone else has. You haven't embraced the red pill yet - that what everyone thinks everyone else has is a lie. Nobody has the family life that gets posted on Facebook or flashed on every TV screen. My guess is that when you say you'd like a family, you still have ideas about what that looks like - even if they're what most people would consider "realistic" ideas - which are rooted in blue pill thinking. I'd dig into that a bit more, if I were you, as this is what might be the tipping point between "I'm different" to "I'm depressed."

If you look at the passages that /u/helaughsinhidden cited, the reason God grants some people the gift of celibacy - which can easily include a disinterest in viewing women in a sexually exciting way - is to focus on the mission that he gave us.

What's your mission? Let's start there.

rocknrollchuck · 2019-04-16T16:34:52+00:00

I think God is muting your desire in those areas right now so you can seek Him first, with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. Are you doing that? Are you reading the Word daily? Are you seeking God in prayer? Are you sharing your faith with others? Are you striving for holiness daily?

I am of the opinion that if a man wants to be married, that desire comes from the Lord and is a good thing. God could be protecting you right now from making bad decisions while He prepares your bride. I wouldn't worry too much about it, and pour your life into seeking the Kingdom instead. It will happen at the right time as God has planned it, when you are on Mission serving Him.

bjcm5891 · 2019-04-19T03:11:01+00:00

Thanks for the responses so far. To set a few things straight:

- I'm a business owner, am learning a language (have been for 2 years), martial arts training 1 night a week, usually at church on Sunday morning or evening, gym 3 times a week. So I wouldn't say I struggle with self-motivation

- Somebody mentioned porn. Porn rarely does it for me. I've usually found the idea of sex with real girls I know/ have known more exciting. I'm also well familiar with the concept behind "No fap" and the idea of sex transmutation (as laid out in books like 'Think & Grow Rich' and (from personal experience) have found that as with many things, moderation is best in terms of my enjoyment of life, productivity and sense of wellbeing.

- Despite the above and despite a lot of the red pilled content I've read over the past 5 years I can still absolutely see why men and women are meant to be together. This "enjoy the decline" or "pump and dump" philosophy held by a lot of guys who call themselves red pilled or the MGTOW community doesn't appeal to me. Living with this attitude only contributes to the problems in our society and only leads to death.

It's difficult to put into words exactly why I want a family of my own- apart from the fact I have imagined a future with one and without one- and without one, I have this sense of unfulfilled potential. Considering what is happening in our western civilisation right now (people of great power on a mission to completely dismantle centuries worth of culture and our society for their satanic agenda), the best thing any man in the west can do to fight back is to have children of his own in a stable family environment and give them their best chance at turning back the tide in our favour. I see this as a spiritual battle that's on us to fight, beyond mere material or personal achievement. Granted, some men won't do this but they should be the distinct minority. I know that, at heart, I desire women- but attraction is not a choice. That's what I meant by "feeling something". And I've rarely met someone who was the exception to the rule. It's a strange dissonance to feel an ingrained desire for something you don't see, and that's why I wrote the original post to canvas the thoughts of other people who have maybe been down this road before?

RunawayGrain · 2019-04-16T16:31:05+00:00

I'd also love to meet a young woman who actually makes me feel something, just to remind me that I am, in fact, human. Because these days, I don't even feel attracted to most of the 'hot' girls I see. Most of the women I see just feel like a repeat of somebody else- other girls I've seen/ met/ known over the years.

Yeah, I see many Christian men that feel this way. It's because you've grown to some extent, and aren't letting lust override your better judgements. Once you get to that point, the redpill takeaway is that a lot of what our culture pushes as love is actually lustful behaviors, and also highly transient. That's why arranged marriages used to be a thing: at least part of the concept was that it removed the prospective partners and turned it over to someone a bit more objective. Of course arranged marriages got abused in time, but for this discussion focus on that original concept.

I find myself wondering if I'm becoming some kind of asexual man who views women the same way I look at Porsches- yeah they're nice and I can understand why so many guys want one- but they don't 'do' it for me the way the Ferrari F40 did as a kid, or the E-Type Jag or Ford Mustang does for other guys.

Those are material things though. They are nice, but any satisfaction they might grant is ... temporary. Sadly, the same is true for many young women. As they say, all that glitters is not gold, and many women's physical beauty is just a mask for moral bankruptcy. As 1st Peter says,

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

So maybe if you have a gentle quiet spirit instead of say, absolutely raging hormones you can calmly evaluate that these girls look good, but aren't going to be good for you, and move along with your life.

The MGTOW path has no interest to me and like I said, I would like to have a family of my own. But in order for that to happen, I'd need to meet somebody who I want to go for, not because people are saying I should or that we'd be great together, but because I actually feel something for her, because when I am with her I have that sense that "This is enough, I'm happy with this".

If this is really your goal, maybe you ought to refactor what it is that you are looking for. What you seem to be saying is 'I'm looking for a girl that elicits a reaction from me' rather than "I'm looking for a godly girl to start a family with." Now I'm not saying that you should go jump on some overweight girl, but maybe more along the lines of "Does she have a genuine relationship with God, can this woman manage children and a household in my absence, and does she seem to be genuinely invested in family, and not just acting long enough to get a free ride?" Being able to evaluate based on those criteria will probably get you a lot farther down the road than "I saw a blonde and my pants got tight! She must be the one!"

[deleted] · 2019-04-18T15:50:35+00:00

I'd also love to meet a young woman who actually makes me feelsomething, just to remind me that I am, in fact, human.

This is bad. You are putting women on a pedestal.

but because I actually feel something for her

Either you have a desire to be married - then do it. Or you don't, then don't.

Plenty of people don't have a family but can fulfill their desire for community with the church or fellowship.

Are you watching porn or something? It sounds like you're depressed and have lost your sexual desire- something porn is known to do. Or maybe you're reading too much red pill stuff. The danger of red pill stuff is that it paints women in such a negative way that you can learn to despise them. The best "red pill" stuff, just describes female behaviors instead of saying how terrible they are.

Good luck.

Title	Anybody else feel like this?
Author	bjcm5891
Upvotes	6
Comments	14
Date	April 16, 2019 1:19 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/bdtuye/anybody_else_feel_like_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/anybody-else-feel-like-this.301329 https://theredarchive.com/post/301329