I'd like to ask the community approaches to dealing with anger. When I read that last sentence, I think about eliminating anger, and I realize how psychotic that is. You have to feel it, right? Getting on the other side of anger isn't about dealing with the anger itself, but with the thing you're angry about, right?

I go from extremes, from autistic fits of rage to repression of it and super-buddhist mode. It's very easy, I've noticed, to front equanimity when consoling another through their tragedy, but I flip out when something physically goes wrong in my body or when I lose important work and have to start over again.

Sacred Scripture entrusts us to be angry but sin not. Could anybody shine a light on the Greek / Hebrew on that? Is there perhaps some ancient way of being angry?

Typically when I'm enraged I'll fulminate blasphemy against God, the Trinity, anything holy and God-like I can think of. When I think about Jesus, the Jesus of the Bible, of course it's stupid to be enraged at him. But I've grown up with a long history of being suspicious about God and seeing him as a cruel governor. That's not even fully true. There's something else there that I misapprehend. That I don't see.

What's hardest of all is to feel angry. I'm literally about to kill someone. And I don't know what to do. I try to shut it out, the only way it comes through is through blasphemy or hurting myself by punching something or a menacing physical workout that makes me feel powerful.

But some things exercise doesn't fix. Like this work. I lost a lot of work today, and had to start over. What use is there in being angry about that? But I was. And I'm not anymore, because it's over and I finished it. But the whole time I was spewing blasphemy at Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit. After this, I know it's not right. I know it isn't. They're the good guys, and it's me who just becomes this automaton of rage. It's so childish. I see my little cousin do this, she's autistic. I'm coming through withdrawals from abusing porn and masturbation, maybe this has something to do with it. Well, it definitely does.

TL;DR But What do you guys do? How do you deal? Maybe not deal with anger but with the situation? Am I coming from a position of helplessness and that makes me angry? Yeah. Maybe so. From a pathetic weak position. I'm like that anyway. Talk to me guys. Do I overhaul my lifestyle? Might OYS fit into this? If so, how? Thank you.