Physical:

  • 20years old, 200.2 lbs, 20.8% body fat
  • Began lifting after a long while on May 14th and started at 228.9 lbs
  • Have gone 4-5 days a week consistently since then
  • Still cutting with a 2-3 month goal of 190 lbs
  • Can’t do many of the main lifts due to a wrist problem. Looking to take care of a ganglion cyst in my left wrist over winter. Haven’t been able to bear a load over 100lbs, grip over 225 or flex my wrist for about a year and a quarter.

Reading:

  • Books TRM I, TRM II, The Alabaster Girl by Zan Perrion, Modles by Marc Manson
  • Sidebar: for singles section, 100s and 200s
  • Currently: reading through Luke, 300s and a book called Atomic Habits

Spiritual:

  • Gave my life to Christ 1.5 years ago
  • Bible time/ quiet time: have always truggled to be consistent in this area. I’d say I average around 2-3 times a week
  • Prayer: I have made it a thing to pray in the shower. I’ll usually have a long 10-15 minute prayer session about 4-5 times a week where I just bring my everything to the Lord and struggle forward through stuff
  • Don’t really share my faith much cause I feel like I’m a spiritual novice

Finances:

  • Currently a sophomore in college majoring in Management of Information Systems and Finance with a 3.42 GPA (should increase a bit after this semester)
  • Fourtunate to have my father paying for all of my expenses for my 4 years.

Brief background: Began struggling with depression around 7th grade because of bullying, constantly fighting parents and a manipulative mother. Became Seriously depressed and was on the edge of suicide on a couple of occasions. Last time if genuinely considered suicide as an option was 11th grade. I set my sight on college being my light at the end of the tunnel. And boy has it been a relief to be out of that environment.

Currently, thanks to Jesus, I am in the best mental state I’ve ever been in. Rarely (once or twice a month) do I feel the depression trying to creep back in.

Problem: I have never been in a relationship before and have never even kissed a girl. I attribute this to being a broken emotionally unstable person in high school. Additionally my mother was overbearing and wouldn’t allow me to go out with friends too often

Questions/ worries

  1. Is it a problem that I have never been in a relationship or kissed a girl?
  2. If it is a problem should I pursue women or give myself some more time to work on myself?
  • My worry is that if I continue to not have been with a woman it will be a red flag for the lady I’m pursuing in the future