So, by the grace of God I've been doing a lot of growing recently. It has honestly been a lot of pain and suffering, but I’m starting to get a glimpse of the concept peace that surpasses all understanding. Will update my OYS on the next cycle. Onto my question...

There's a girl in our church that I've always found to be attractive. She's also very outspoken about her faith, and is active in different parts of ministry. But also has a lot of flaws, many that seem to come default with the women of our time. We get along together well though. However, she does go to a school a few hours away.

Recently on a trip back, we spent a lot of time together. She ended up telling me she's had feelings for me since the summer, which really threw me off for a number of reasons. It's a weird time, because other people in our mutual friend group have ended up saying they have feelings too, and I shut it down immediately. This is the first time there's been some mutual interest on my end, however.

I ended up telling her there was some mutual interest, but that it's not the right time by any means. I don't believe in long distance. I did say that I want to get to know her better though, as there is good, and also bad.

My questions are,

  • How do I approach this as a brother in christ, but also as weeding out whether or not this is the right choice? Essentially, effectively determining the answer, but doing it in a christlike way so if the answer ends up being no from me, I can be as blameless as possible.
  • What steps can I take to see if she's someone that can be led and molded? Essentially, if I can show her christ, and live/encourage in such a way that she becomes closer to him, and as a result, lives less for the world, and more for God.
  • And to build off the last question, is there any ways or signs to determine if this is happening?

I'm only considering all of this because at this point I can honestly say I'm approaching this situation from a level-headed and God focused perspective for the first time in my life, and my feelings are not the ruling or deciding factor as far as I can tell.

I'd as for your prayers, and whatever wisdom and advice you might have.