6'5. 210lbs. 14% bodyfat.

Bench: 235 DL:410 Squat: 315.

Career/Life/Finances: Have my own business that I run full time from my favorite coffee shop in the summers or my apartment(College student). It's related with web design, has become more passive over time and allows me freedom to pursue my other goals. (For example I'm obsessed with learning a new language, I'm a BJJ practitioner (purple belt, I do gymnastics, I do yoga, I travel alot) I try to do tons of different stuff basically)

Spirituality: Got saved 2 years ago after rejecting God for the longest time. Encountered Christ in a real and meaningful way, and I changed my ways. Read the Bible daily, have become obsessed with apologetics, and also lead a group at my church on Sunday's. I would say I have a decent baseline of knowledge and have come a long way, but still have a long way to go.

Situation: My best friend, and only female friend basically brought me to church my first time. Introduced me to 80% of my church friends, and early on in my walk with Jesus was constantly giving me biblical knowledge that I could use because at the time I had nobody else. She was super important.

Now 2 years later, because of my obsession I've basically surpassed her in terms of knowledge. But that's not really what this post is about.

Want to preface this by saying I have a girlfriend, and have considered breaking it off lately because I don't believe it's a godly trait to keep women in your back pocket.

Here goes: I'm basically in love with my best friend. Even though objectively all my friends whom I've talked to think my girlfriend is more attractive and a better option, I just can't see that because of my rose colored glasses.

She's easily the nicest person I've ever encountered. Not perfect, but I'm pretty obsessed with her and have these feelings that drive me up the wall in frustration because I just can't shake them no matter how hard I try.

I don't know how she feels about me sexually. But I know that regardless of how she feels, I probably can't be with her because we go to school in different states, and only see each other in person during the summer.

Also just found out her family is moving to a different state so I probably won't ever see her again even in the summer unless she happens to visit back home by some chance in the future.

The last time I saw her a few days ago I felt incredible attachment. I picked her up and carried her through a big water fountain because it was hot outside and she was sad about something, kissed her a few times (on the forehead), we probably hugged 30 times in the span of a few hours, we both said "I love you" at the end of the day when doing our goodbyes.

She's done tons of stuff for me in the past. The church stuff, buying me food/coffee all the time. Picking me up when I was stranded once at 3am and having to drive 2 hours. On her 21st birthday I was sick, and she abandoned her friends to come bring me medicine. Literally showing up to my apartment in her dress and heels to give me meds and hang out.

Again, not sure if I'm totally friend zoned here, but I don't know if that matters because I don't really see a future here. I just know what I'm feeling is way more than friendship.

Anyways, I'm obsessed with her and need to get over her, because I probably won't be able to see her again. I could use some help and advice, friends. Thanks