10 Ways To Build A Strong And Lasting #RedPill Christian Man Group

Positive Masculinity Crusade #1: Starting a Group

10 Ways To Build A Strong And Lasting Christian Man Group

1. Choose a name that identifies the group and it’s function

Your group name is critical. The name should:

• The name should do your marketing for your group in a positive way
• Your target group should be able to identify with your group name
• The name should serve as a dog-whistle to interested men, to call them out
• The group name should also describe the function of the group, what is the purpose of the group, anyway?

Get The Right Guys

2. Recruit the Right Type of Guys

This will ensure that you:

• Gain traction immediately
• Establish cache’ and credibility from the start
• Have energy and staying power

Ideally, you want guys who have these characteristics:

• Real, sincere, high-integrity type of guys
• Coachable and willing to work
• Loyal, committed, and understand the Brotherhood concept
• It helps if the guys are desperate for learning. Get a Starving Crowd!

3. Have a Plan for Your Content

Do Incorporate these concepts into your Planning:

• Develop an outline that can be easily followed by the group
• Refer to your outline often as you discuss content with the group
• Use your outline as you build foundational concepts and update it as you move through the class meetings
• Use books as appropriate to the age of your group
• Use content appropriate to your content. Use secular books as well as books by Christian authors. Don’t be afraid to use edgy material in building your program.
• Use short video clips to emphasize key points

Stay away from these practices:

• Don’t use videos as your foundational pieces. Videos should provide supplemental material to emphasize teaching and discussion points. Too many groups play videos for 80-90% of the allotted time. This provides for bad energy and is not inspiring for the group. This strategy leaves little time for sharing or building the Brotherhood.
• Use books for learning, growth and structure; not, for testing or gauging the commitment of the members. Many groups take class time to read word-for-word from selected books or other reading material. This practice drags down the class and takes away from the Growth-Imperative.

Allocate time to go off-schedule when more sharing is needed. Monitor and adjust as you get to know your group and their needs. Be more concerned with sharing, content and growth than with the pace of your outline.

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4. Establish An Awareness-Incubator With A Growth-Mentality

Growth and Awareness**: Contagious when there is buy-in from the group!**

• Choose books and materials that captivate and energize the group
• Find out where they have pain and get or develop materials that address these issues and solutions. Awareness is the key to Growth!
• Find relevant topics that meet your needs – there are many materials available
• Your group will devour the books and material if they provide solutions and help with awareness
• Challenge your group to read at least 2-3 books a month as a group
• Get comfortable with different guys in the room reading several different books from your reading list. Some books resonate with some more than with others.

Find alternative resources for guys who don’t see themselves as readers:

• Help them find audio books
• Teach them how to find video clips on youtube or other outlets
• Help them locate book summaries

I have worked with all kinds of guys who announced emphatically that they couldn’t read and would not read. Be patient with your guys. Once they start seeing other guys read about proactive and entertaining topics, everyone will find some books that resonate. They will all want to participate and talk about the concepts that worked for them. We have had non-readers and dyslexic issues to deal with. The bottom line is that if the guys develop a thirst for the content, they will be very creative in finding ways to get that content in them. Help them be creative! History is littered with stories about people who had to overcome great obstacles in order to achieve great things. And our mission of trying to rebuild a masculine presence in our culture is nothing short of critical.

The Success Of Your Group Depends ON Your Energy And Creativity!

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5. Choose a Time And Place With A Great Vibe

Consider the following items when settling on time and place:

• Do you want a Barnes and Noble Vibe or a Public Library vibe?
• Coffee Shop or Wal-Mart?
• Church Building or Private Home?
• 6 am or 8 pm? 5 am? Midnight? Whatever works. Jesus worked whenever people had a need and wherever he found them
• Kitchen Table or out in the Barn?

Find a place that energizes your group. Find a place that oozes growth and learning. You need good energy for growth and stimulation. Our current group meets in our church building at 8am in one of the empty classrooms. It’s not perfect, but it works for now. It was a place to get started.

The key is to get started as soon as you can after forming a basic outline and recruiting a core group of guys. You can always steer the missile once you get it off the launching pad. There will always be more reasons not-to-start than there are reasons to get going. Most of those reasons are in our heads. There is no reason to put it off until next year or the year after that. The longer you wait the more chance there will be that guys will go out into the woods and pull a trigger. There is a lot of pain in our churches. (Honestly, that and a few other sad stories in our local area gave me all the motivation I need to kick this project off the cliff. It has always been my job to catch the thing before it went splat all over the ground.)

Build A Warrior Ethos!

6. Build a Warrior Ethos

Key items for warriors:

• Warriors protect the group
• Warriors have ceremonies
• Warriors have a brotherhood
• Warriors build their own identity
• What happens in the group, stay in the group!

Servant Hearts are Required

7. Develop a Servant-Heart Attitude That Permeates Each Meeting

The following items should be readily apparent during each meeting:

• There should be brutal honesty in dealing with group members
• Members should be addressed in utmost respect
• There should be an overriding presence of genuine care in the meeting
• Sarcasm and cutting remarks have no place in the meetings
• Compassionate Alpha tone should rule the day in every way

The most important element in developing a safe-haven for the guys is a feeling of trust. Off-color comments and snide remarks will ruin a group faster than just about any other item. Be respectful and have a Christ-like attitude in developing a sincere, caring and consistent environment.

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8. Don’t Be Afraid When Things Get Messy!

This is where all the good stuff happens!

This is THE MOST IMPORTANT part of the meetings

This is where the most growth happens

These things will determine how deep and how meaningful your meetings will be:

• Beware of the “Biblical Copout”: this is employed frequently when guys need an excuse to change the subject. They start praying or reading scripture without actually processing or talking through the problem or solutions. This is an easy default setting for Christians.
• Don’t be afraid to “let it all hang out!” When guys are in “Flow-State” let them go. Don’t stop their thoughts or ideas. Let them bring it to fruition. Topics should change of their own volition. Thoughts and ideas are crystalized when guys process things with other guys. This is the most meaningful time for guys. It is also the most difficult thing to replicate.
• Be ready for these moments at any time. Guys will be comfortable sharing at random times. Allocate for some free-flow sharing in meetings. There is often no rhyme or reason for when a topic or feeling hits a guy. Do NOT STOP the sharing! Don’t look at the clock or distract a guy from sharing. If the class goes long, let it go long. Guys wait all week for a chance to share and talk. Out society has moved guys out of every space that used to be sacred. Provide a place for guys to share. Be willing to stay after the meeting to listen and talk with those who want to stay after. Some of our most meaningful conversation take place durint the hour or so after most of the guys leave.
• Be edgy with content and with sharing! Don’t be afraid to bring in edgy content if it furthers the dialogue with the guys. Feel free to avoid items with gratuitous profanity or crude/objectifying language or imagery. We read all kinds of books in our group meetings. Some are secular books and others are more faith-driven books. We also read from the Bible. The main thing is we want growth-drivers. We
• There are times when things get extremely visceral during sharing times. Sometimes profanity will slip out and other times raw analogies are used and talked about. There is no need to censor language or ideas during sharing times. Sometimes guys feel more open to share if they don’t have to worry about being all “churchy.”
• Remember: You can’t steer the ship if its not moving! Get the guys talking so you can help them find the rudder. You can help guys find their way if you have an idea about what they are thinking. You can’t know what they are thinking until they talk. Learn to go deeper in your questioning in order to drill down as you look for solutions and issues.
• Redirect guys back to the topic at hand when they try to “go third person.” Guys will want to change the subject when things hit close to home. Some times you will have permission to take them to a new level and sometimes they need more time. Be a student of body-language and tone. Study people so you can help them get out of a tight spot in their talking. Help guys find an escape hatch Also be ready to help them build a bridge to an unfamiliar area or location.
• Remind the group every few weeks about confidentiality and discretion

There Will Be Battles To Fight

9. Stay The Course – Inside and Out

You will face a lot of hurdles and difficulties in guiding your group:

There will be pressure/conflict from outside the group:

• Spouses/Family members
• Church members/Leadership
• Community/Media

There will be pressure/conflict from inside the group:

• Internal conflict among the guys
• Some guys will want to dominate the discussion
• Some guys won’t want to study or grow, but want a social group
• Sometimes it will be hard to find a meeting time for the group

Provide strong leadership for your group

Develop mentors for yourself and for others

Put together a leadership council consisting of 3-4 guys

Start new groups and develop new leaders: Elite & Starter Groups

Maintain Control Of Your Content

10. Maintain Editorial Control of Your Group

Your group can be killed If you turn over editorial control of your group to the church leadership or other groups.

You may run into any of the following items:

• Group Members/Meeting times and places need to be approved
• Content/Materials/Books need to be approved
• This can impact your mission and outreach in an adverse way