She’s not your’s it’s just your turn

Red-Curious · 2017-11-17T07:36:49+00:00

But ... but ... but ... that's what the Bible says. Of course, not necessarily the way RP means it, but this is a truly biblical concept. If you're both saved, you'll both be in heaven. There's no marriage in heaven to one another because we are the bride of Christ - and that is our identity for eternity.

Your wife is on loan to you. She's not yours for eternity. She's just yours for right now. She has been entrusted to you by God, just as the servants in the parables of the minas/talents were entrusted things by their master. And eventually, when the master returned, they had to return what was given to them to be his once more. You are a steward of what God has given you - and that includes your wife. Are you going to return her in the condition you found her, or are you going to lead her into being fruitful upon Christ's return?

Parallel aside, let me clarify what I think the MRPers are trying to say. They don't mean that all women will cheat or divorce you, as your post suggests. They mean that there is no absolute guarantee that she won't do those things. Because that capacity exists, however remote, you can operate on one of two assumptions:

Useful Assumption: She'll leave you for a better man if you're low-enough value and she gets the chance.
Non-Useful Assumption: She'll stay faithful to you no matter what.

There are, of course, gradations in-between, but the further you get toward the latter, the more you'll put yourself at risk of proving the former.

Now, I'm speaking speciously right now. The latter assumption is not actually "non-useful." It has positive aspects about it, just as the "useful assumption" has negative qualities. The "useful assumption" can be a serious hindrance to pair-bonding and developing the type of intimacy that husbands and wives are meant to experience in order to model the intimate love between Christ and the Church (note: if you've read SGM, this is the E in DEVI). The "non-useful assumption" is actually useful in fostering this.

But like I said, there are gradations in-between, or even ways where you can fully embrace the useful assumption without compromising your ability to be authentic, vulnerable, and intimate with your spouse - all things that, to some degree, need to be implemented in order to become the oak. The primary draw-back of assuming your wife is yours and will never leave you is, of course, that it compromises your internal imperative to be a better man - if maintaining your marriage is a significant motivator to you. As to whether or not that should be a motivator to you - that's a different question that depends heavily on how you interpret 1 Cor. 7.

The point is: the benefits of following the useful assumption drastically outweigh the negatives, particularly when taken in the context of all other principles, and even more so outweigh any limited benefits of making the non-useful assumption. So, even if you know it's not true, sometimes it's worth telling yourself something anyway because of what it helps you become. It's like my son, who is 6 years old in 3 days and terrified of the dark - so he tells himself, "I'm brave; nothing will hurt me," to overcome his fears. Both of those claims are mildly false, of course. He's a little brave, but his bravery is outweighed by his fear. Something very well could end up hurting him. Like in Donnie Darko, a jet engine turbine could fall into his room with no warning. I can't promise that won't happen. But telling himself something that's technically not absolutely true, he's creating a psychological - even spiritual - condition for himself to become what he needs to be. There is value in this. So, even if "all women cheat" or "she's not yours, it's just your turn" isn't technically 100% accurate for every relationship that ever existed across time (except to the degree of my starting explanation of this comment), sometimes we just need to tell ourselves something to help us get to the right frame of mind.

This will be addressed in much greater detail in the "circles illustration" in 400-level content (if/when I ever get around to writing it), which emphasizes making the shift in our frame from finding our satisfaction from worldly things which fail us and into Christ, who will not. "She's not yours, it's just your turn" is a way of saying, "All things human will fail eventually - accept that as a reality of life" ... and when we accept that as a legitimate possibility - and from the perspective of eternity, an actual, genuine, biblical reality - only then can we truly stop relying on human conventions for our satisfaction and begin looking to Christ, who is the only source of eternal, unfailing life and fulfillment.

Lastly, I'd love to quote all of Micah 7:1-7, but suffice it to say that he's referencing a society where sin is generally rampant around. He's still talking to God's people - Israel, but he says to them, "Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Even with the woman who lies in your embrace guard the words of your lips ... a man's enemies are the members of his own household."

Romans 3 comments that even back in Jesus' day, Paul describes their society the same way Micah 7 does when it says, "The faithful have been swept from the land; not one upright person remains. Everyone lies in wait to shed blood ..." and so on. As for the part above, even Jesus talks about how his coming would cause strife in the household (Luke 12:51-53). In other words, Jesus is saying what RP is saying, "Don't put your trust in people - not even your own family; learn to put it in me instead."

Tag: /u/XReverenceX and /u/Whitified - for some Scriptural umph to what you're saying.

Red-Curious · 2017-11-17T05:15:39+00:00

I read your past posts/replies. Are both you and your LTR on the same page religiously? I know she is alluding to marriage, but what do you want?

If you read MRP you will find that some married guys on there are actively cheating or looking to cheat. But that is ignored since RP is amoral and it is a double standard. So there are plenty of wives and GFs out there whose husbands are doing the same thing. Therefore, "he's not yours, it's just your turn" also applies as advice for women.

So you need to decide if you are going to be a Christian husband or have a divided house by taking advice from those outside the faith. You can't walk in both worlds just like you can't serve two masters. One will always have a greater influence.

I know MRP suggests not letting your first officer/mate in on what is going on, even though NMMNG seems to suggest it. But this is worldly advice. The Bible has given the Christian husband rights over his wife and it is his responsibility to find a Christian girl who wants the same and understands her role in a marriage.

The Bible stands on truth and openly lays the format out for husband and wife, no hiding or fight club there.

Now is the time, not after marriage or another year with a LTR, to see if she accepts and practices godly submission. The mistake many people make is overlooking red flags prior to marriage and then not owning up to the fact that they contributed to their own marital/relationship demise.

Tell her what you expect and what you will not settle for. Don't hide it. Own it. If she walks, you have saved yourself misery. And you can pursue your own interests and goals.

Whitified · 2017-11-17T05:12:55+00:00

Yes it is unacceptable for Christians, men or women.

But if she insists on living a sinful life, there is absolutely nothing you can do. Just make sure you don't bite the fruit yourself (no one said it's an apple lul).

If you're single, let her prove that she's better. That this phrase does not apply to her. There are always exceptions to the rule... but "She's not yours it's just your turn" is still the rule here. "Non-investment" until she proves otherwise is still the wise thing to do here.

Which RP man, Christian or secular, want this phrase to be true? But true it is nonetheless.

[deleted] · 2017-11-20T06:37:37+00:00

when you think a woman is yours, you will do the following: XYZ. When you think it's just your turn, and the woman is her own, you will do ABC.

Blue pill mentality whines, "But I should be able to do XYZ and keep the woman, because that's the way I want it." Red pill mentality says, "well, since that's the way it is, I have to change the way I think, because women respond to ABC and despise XYZ."

Further, the idea that "it's just your turn" is freeing to the man, too. Because knowing her hypergamy, you know not to consider her worth the investment. You can whine about it. But don't pedestablize a woman's nature. She's not the goddess our culture thinks she is.

This is why I'm so intrigued with a woman who listens to the holy spirit and has the fear of God in her. Because she will be much less inclined to be hypergamous knowing that God is watching, and that there is something outside of herself that dictates the way life should be lived.

Red-Curious · 2017-11-17T07:52:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Willow-girl · 2017-11-17T16:12:24+00:00

"She's not yours; it's just your turn" -- a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Chinchilla_the_Hun · 2017-11-22T17:40:20+00:00

I agree with /u/Red-Curious that it's more the spirit of the statement than the face-value license to be hedonistic. Everything is temporary this side of heaven and even in the afterlife, things won't operate 100% according to what we already know.

The same "spirit" of the maxim could be taken as a practical guide to approaching dating relationships - casual, committed, or engaged - in a virtuous manner. If the woman you're with is not yet your wife, it's probable that she will be for someone else...should that be the case, you'd want to be able to honestly admit to doing what you could to preserve her virtue for the time you were together.

BluepillProfessor · 2017-11-28T19:38:59+00:00

God should be the one running our relationships'

Except he is not. At least not the way you think.

I will make mere lads their princes, And capricious children (Women!) will rule over them,

 5And the people will be oppressed, Each one by another, and each one by his neighbor; The youth will storm against the elder And the inferior against the honorable. 6When a man lays hold of his brother in his father’s house, saying, “You have a cloak, you shall be our ruler, And these ruins will be under your charge,” 7He will protest on that day, saying, “I will not be your healer, For in my house there is neither bread nor cloak; You should not appoint me ruler of the people.” 8For Jerusalem has stumbled and Judah has fallen, Because their speech and their actions are against the LORD, To rebel against His glorious presence. 9The expression of their faces bears witness against them, And they display their sin like Sodom; They do not even conceal it. Woe to them! For they have brought evil on themselves. 10Say to the righteous that it will go well with them, For they will eat the fruit of their actions. 11Woe to the wicked! It will go badly with him, For what he deserves will be done to him. 12O My people! Their oppressors are children, And women rule over them.

Title	She’s not your’s it’s just your turn
Author	freedominlight2
Upvotes	3
Comments	22
Date	November 17, 2017 3:37 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/7di1kk/shes_not_yours_its_just_your_turn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/shes-not-yours-its-just-your-turn.302111 https://theredarchive.com/post/302111