Hello gentlemen,

wife cheated....yadda yadda yadda, still a blue pill, then purple pill, and trying to internalize the sidebar as it took about a good year to realize what being red pilled means and how it affects ALL aspects of your life, but for now, imma gonna talk about how me and her were still screwing and maybe talking about getting back together and what I learned, which basically horrified me.

After my wife moved out, I moved to a small beach house, basically small ass living room with kitchen, which was my editing room, and the bedroom was the only room upstairs. Also, the shower and bathroom was not for fat fucks.

I know she felt bad about the cheating (but not that bad, she felt bad because now I moved on and she had to rent a room in somebody's house.)

She would come over, and was basically my sex slave. I would feed her sometime, ordering in after a good fuck session.

This is when I finally learned that you don't have to date bitches to get some. Also, that you don't have to be a gentleman. Some background:

I had my first GF back in 1997. It lasted 9 years. The relationship feel apart after college as I didn't know what I was doing, and also after my time in Iraq 2003 USMC, it took me a good while to find my stride again, but I kept busy in the meantime making music videos, making art, animations, etc, but no "prospects of marriage" and she found a beta bucks who saved her, i just didn't know he was a beta bucks. He stole my GF as far as I was concerned so my confidence went way down. I even managed to grab her ass in front of him when I went to her job and I see them both coming out. I grab her ass, shake his hand and introduced myself. What pissed me off is that after 9 years, she said we were just dating, and explained it to him. It felt like a punch in the gut. She didn't tell him that a few days before I was fucking her up the ass. This is what I know now was her going through her epiphany stage. The good thing however, was we were each other's first, I just wasn't going to commit. I wanted to, but felt I didn't have a purpose or money to start a family.

That should have red pilled me, but instead, I took it so personal, that i went the complete opposite direction when I started dating my ex-wife. I treated her nice, because I was an ASSHOLE to my first GF, getting all sorts of dirty sex, anytime and anywhere, in the car, in her parents bathroom, my bathroom...basically if you left us alone or stepped out of your house for a while when visiting, we are gonna fuck. If we are going anywhere in my car, on a road trip or the supermarket, blowjobs in the car. Even early on when going to the same community college, before class, after class, etc. Even after we broke up, she still sucked my dick when she had already established a relationship with the guy. But I left her alone. I tried to be an asshole but I couldn't.

After the separation, which was the following morning after I found out she was cheating on me, I tried dating and even got a GF, who was POST WALL. Being 35 at the time and her 31, I thought it was no big deal, but then I was shocked at how much time she would spend on her makeup, and how different she looked when I saw her without it, face looking like its melting off, etc, that when she started to act up, I kicked her to the curb, since the magical spell 22 year old pussy put over me had no effect when 31 year old pussy didn't. I didn't have a name for it, and actually felt bad because she was a post wall, no prospects and nothing to bring to the table. She had all the red flags, pierced nipples, abusive ex, smoked way too much weed. This was the lesson I needed on post wall women.

During the separation, she was bouncing between her other man and me, and at one point, shortly after the separation, I got us a hotel and told her to come to it directly after her work, had sex, she said she needed to go see her friends, and came back for more. During the second session, i was pounding away like an angry man, and she looked back at me and excitedly told me "If _____ found out what I was doing, he'd be PISSED!"

FUCK ME if that didn't make me angrier lol. And then I did something I never felt comfortable doing, since like I said, I wanted to be the opposite of my first relationship: I was fucking her doggystyle, told her to turn around and cummed on her face and mouth, and the look she gave me was not what I was expecting. I sly half open smile and her eyes wide open.

Making her my GF and then wife was something I thought needed to be respected, cherished, etc. During the relationship we did fuck in my car, side of the road, anal, lots of blowjobs when driving, etc, but once I clamped down and got serious on taking care of her , I was broke when I married her, that is when shit started to fall apart. I had always been able to set out goals, but I am very strict on making them happen and my time in the marines and weed help out with long stretches of making shit done. During my time I was teaching , I was also on probation and had to complete two years of evening classes to get tenure after my second year, I was in a band , which I made sure to come directly home after performances, and making art, websites and still freelancing on the side, having fun money for "us". I was selfish when it came to doing my things, but I was living for her. Even though I was blue pilled with her, I at least didn't stop what I wanted to do, BUT, I could have done so much more without her.

This taught me to focus on my mission, because in the end, it's gonna just be you, through the good or the bad.

OKAY, thanks for reading so far.

But here is the ULTIMATE RED PILL my wife taught me.

WOMEN LOVE IT WHEN OTHER WOMEN FUCK YOU.

At this point, I was an angry man, and my dick was out for POON. So when I had the post wall GF, I was seeing another POST WALL 45, I know but I was slumming and she would give good head. THIS WAS NOTHING.

My ex was a hula dancer, and in her group, was a 22 year old fire poi girl. We had hung out a few times but she had a boyfriend so it was more like a double date after the hula performances.

One day out of the blue after I had shortly moved to the beach, she texts me about information or advice for her friend who started a band. She knew we were gigging and I told her simple advice, and then casually mentioned I am now living at the beach and we should hang out.

Three days later, me and my buddy and his then GF were over, and she texts me. I ask her to come over, she says she’s on her way and GETS DROPPED OFF. My friends leave like 3 minutes after she shows up as they kinda knew what was up, and as soon as the door closes, we go at it. 22 year old pussy , BUT DAMAGED. I had barely put my dick in and she blurts out “SLAP ME” I was like what, and she lays one on me, and I’m shocked. She does it again, and I managed to slap her back. Now I know what she wants, but it was a battle of my mind and dick, since I am all for kinky stuff, but I would rather put it in her butt than slap a girl. At this point , I got a new fuck buddy, and this was my first introduction to plate spinning.

My ex-wife, 28 at the time, the 31 YO, the 45 YO, and the 22 year old. Again, I was blue pilled or more likely purple pilled, so I was still trying to make a relationship with the 22 year old because I thought that is what you were supposed to do. And she was 22, so I didn’t mind being seen in public with her like the other ones.

But yea, eventually the plate broke, but it was fun playing the game of fucking a girl, and as soon as she left, another one would spend the night. I only allowed to to spend the night, the 22 year old and the ex-wife. Others would come early or I would make them leave.

Now lets go back in time for a bit:

Remember how I was in a band? Well, I would leave the performances early, and wouldn't talk to the girls, at least not on purpose.

There was a performance we had at a house party, and after we were done, we hung out and ate tamales and met a girl. I soon quickly introduced her and her friend to the drummer and my lil brother who was the guitarist , I played bass, and left. NEVER GAVE IT A THOUGHT. She was a cute 21 year old latina, petite, nice B cups and firm ass.

During this time, the drummer hooked up with her and started going out. I didn’t really talk to her much but I knew they had trouble. She was a loyal but bad bitch who just needed direction and he fucked her friend. She became an angry and emotional drunk after the performances and would talk to me, and basically asking me for advice on what she should do about the drummer and asked me how I handled it with my cheating wife. At one point I was annoyed and told her straight up “I fucked her friend”.

THE UNIVERSE GIVETH

Forward a few months later after that incident. I lost all my plates, just fucking the ex-wife, but getting her to dress up in school girl outfits, fucking her in the ass, coming over directly after work without effort. I was getting used to it, but if she was just a plate, it wouldn’t matter, but she was my cheating ex-wife, and I think we both fed off on the secretive relationship we had. And since she wasn’t my wife anymore, I used her , and even one of my buddies commented on how I basically treated her like a hooker. I had to remind him she was a slut.

Well, i managed to buy a house (Thanks VA) , 1300 squrefeet, empty garage for my 2003 Toyota Matrix, and my Toyota 86., dedicated room for editing and my living room was basically my art studio with projector screen, etc.

THIS HAPPENED ON MY FIRST NIGHT IN MY NEW HOME.

I was going over the bridge on the harbor to turn to my house, and on the second turn lane, I see a hand pop out of the window. It is the drummers GF, so I am thinking they are both together, but its her and another girl. She then yells my name and says “COME DRINK WITH US!”

I say I have to go to the beach house for one FINAL ROUND of cleaning and getting last minute crap.

She yells “DON’T BE A PUSSY, eD!”

My mind exploded. I was flabbergasted by being called a pussy, by a young beautiful latina with a big ass evil smile.

So I was like “OK, figuring they are drinking a block away from my place in a parked 15 passenger van. It was ghetto as fuck, but oh well.I get in, and it her guy friend and another girl. Beto was no where to be found, and she was mad at him, and even told her friend in front off her: “his ex-wife is a bitch. eD treated her right, took care of her, and she cheated on him.” She would also causally go in front of me and rub her self on me when grabbing a beer.

I then mentioned, its my last sunset her, lets go to the beach. We first stopped at the beach house, to at least do some cleanup. We then go to the beach. She is playing around in the sand, and I am talking to her guy friend, letting her and her friend be, and at one point, she moons me shaking her ass at me. She got embarrassed because I guess she was doing it before I caught on.

Anyways , she asks if I have a towel and I say yes, so she gets in the water and now I have a 22 year old soaking wet girl to take care of, and at my place she changes into my pajamas and oversized shirt.

At this point, I was done, and mentioned I have a house, we should move the party over there. She asks if she could invite some friends, girls, and I’m like, let’s do it. My house wasn’t settled yet, but I had the sheep skin rugs on the floor, with pillows, and the projector set up, 4k 110”. My living room was vaulted ceilings, and had one giant wall separating the living room and kitchen. It was like a movie theatre, perfect party. I put on a movie, HEAVY STAR WARS EPISODE V, which is one of my projects, and its a party movie. Here is a clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QLGV01v2HE

So its a party, I din’t know what I was doing, but there were girls over on my first night at my house, they were digging my personal fan edit. She then asks if we can order pizza and even hands me money she had on her, ten bucks, but the simple gesture and her asking just put me in a better mood. I now know it was respect. I hadn’t had it for so long I didn’t even now what I was feeling should be natural.

So we order, the pizza comes, and we are still drinking. She then asks me to help her in the kitchen, which again, is separated and actually right behind the movie screen. She then lifts up her shirt, put my hand on it and jumps me, making out, grabbing me and telling me “Let’s go fuck in the bathroom”

I reply “FUCK NO, this is my house, if I’m gonna fuck you, we re gonna fuck in my bed.”

I finger her, molest her, and then we walk back to the sheepskin rug and lay on the pillows. I had a blanket and she was under it, and with her sitting next to her friends, i start fingering the shit out of her, making her squirm and man, it seemed like forever. Just teasing and knowing what was gonna happen.

Her friends then leave and it is on, we start fucking and i am loving it. perfectly shaped ass, perfect nipples, beautiful butt hole, etc. She then says we should get more beer, and i pump her a few more times and we get dressed. RAW DOG. fun times.

We are at Albertsons and here was this girl, long hair scrunched back , has her eyeglasses on, my oversized shirt and ROCK BAND pajama bottoms, and some of my slippers, since I have a no SHOE RULE I picked up while my times in Tokyo, and a wide as smile, following my like a puppy dog. She even got carded and I got weird looks from the lady at the checkout line.

Oh well, back to more fucking, and now she is depraved. She was saying a lot of crazy shit, but then she was like “FIST ME” This did shock me, but my experience with the other 22 year old made me more comfortable being crazy in bed, so she coaches me, first one finger, then two, until all fingers slide in, and she LOVED IT. I am probably traumatized but her pussy was still tight afterwards, which was my concern, and we go at it. I even wake her up in the middle of the night for her to turn around so I can slip it in some more. The drummer finds out, and besides the band never getting back together, especially since me and my brother got into any actual fist fight (ROCK N ROLL) and he EGGS MY NEW HOUSE a day afterwards. He found out.

We fucked two more times after the drummer found out, but this is when I got my taste of a DAMAGED woman. Whatever happened between them and her lack of parents, she moved out at 18, made her a mess. The second time she started biting so I had to literally choke her down and she was loving it. The last time she came over, it was too much, since she was always worried about being caught, so the last time she was over I shoved my dick in her mouth and sent her home.

Well, my ex also found out about the drummers GF and her friend the FIRE POI GIRL when I told her via text, and she was pissed, since they would car pool, and at times, I would be texting BOTH OF THEM, setting up “dates”.

One time when I was fucking the ex, she looks me in the eye and says “I THINK ITS HOT THAT YOU FUCKED OTHER GIRLS”

I couldn’t believe my ears. All this trouble of relationship and marriage to hear this from my ex-wife. Especially since I TURNED DOWN the drummers GF. I introduced them after I talked to her and her friend, not even thinking about cheating on my wife. This later came up during conversations as she casually told me her bF was mad when she told him “I met eD first.”

Anyways, I learned how PRESELCTION WORKS finally. Even when the girl invited me to drink in the van, she told me her friend thought i was cute. The second time we hooked up, the drummer’s GF started laughing during sex and she blurted out “I TOLD MY FRIEND I WAS GONNA FUCK YOU”

FUCK ME.

I don’t know if it’s because I am getting older, I feel like I don’t miss sex or enjoy it like I used to in the past. And I was never deprived. Even as blue pilled as I was, my first GF at least taught me that if e are GF and BF, sex is on the table. Props to my ex-wife for doing double duty while she was out fucking around.

Eventually, after the dust settled, it was back to me and my ex-wife, and I literally saw her fall apart before my eyes. The relationship had run it’s course, we were both bitter, and at 33, she wasn’t looking the same as when I first met her at 22.

I had to make decisions in life to get back to who I was when I first met her, and eventually quit my job, which I got to support us, and sold the house, which was more of a cope or me trying to find a way to hide the misery and at least do something “successful people” do. It ended up being a great space to be creative and let loose, but with a full time job, I couldn’t enjoy. After i quit my job, I had two buyers that backed out even during escrow, and eventually decided not to make payments, and take the loss. I ended up living their 8 months without paying a dime, and in the end, the sale was a wash, so I didn’t make any money. I told my buddy who was my real estate agent to just make it so I don’t owe anything.

Those 8 months, dedicated to myself, was the best thing that ever happened. I filled my house with 6x4 canvases, set up my music station to create electronic music and play loud while everyone is at work, and just being creative. I was still neglecting my health at this time, but after I finally sold the house, I ended up going to Bangkok for six months, on the invitation of a buddy I met in Tokyo years back, and it was like college all over. Two dudes who met in Tokyo , single, living a minimalist life , learning from him how to have minimal clothes, and working out 6 days week, with clean eating. This is where I finally learned what it means to being on your mission. For the last six months, I had been eating and working out and resting. I would still get smashed here and there, but I even stopped doing art so I can get my body to where it needs to be. I just got back last week, and am now in Aruba til the 2nd of January.

It sucks that I had to go through it, but hopefully sharing my experience can help some of you guys going through the red pill rage or still on the purple pill fence. The divorce still stings, since I come from a family with a mom and dad, two brothers and a sister, my brother is marrying this year, and my sister has a daughter with her husband, but in the end, the ex-wife did set me free, so I am still trying to really to let it go.

My life completely changed after I went back to being single. Besides crazy sex and situations I never knew a man can get himself into with a woman, I traveled a lot in between to get away, since my teaching job gave me summers off , two weeks of spring break an d two and a half weeks of christmas. I did 2 months in South America including Easter Island, Tokyo, Ireland, Greece, Vietnam, London road trips up and down the Cali Cost, east coast visits, island camping, Canada, and others I forget.

I usually don’t write this much, but I lost my phone and this helped clear my mind and to appreciate what I have, and am putting to use the knowledge on Stoicism to help me ride this wave of feeling shitty for losing my phone and putting things in perspective.

Thanks and if you guys are interested, I also started a youtube channel: MGTOW MANIAC https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyORdof5L1WmpDRy4hLCBPg

P.S.

My old band, if anyone is interested, some covers with original music. https://youtu.be/Pq0jvhMFrWI

TLDR: Fucked the drummers girlfriend, and my life changed. All thanks to the ex-wife.